There are many stages of getting over a breakup. Just after the event you may feel sad, guilty, upset or even angry.
All of these things are natural to feel and are a required part of the process.
We will look at these stages and help you to get a better understanding of what to expect when facing the seemingly impossible task of getting over the perfect partner.
Just after breaking up you may be in a state of shock. You will feel like you have been hit by a train. This is natural and is your body’s way of dealing with this situation.
You may find it difficult to get out of bed in the morning. This is due to the fact that you may have blocked out the breakup in your mind.
And when you wake up, it can hit you like a ton of bricks. You need to find the strength to face the day. You can do this by surrounding yourself with people who care.
It’s going to take some time to get over the initial apathy that you are feeling. This may take hours or even a few days.
If you were dumped by him/her, you are probably questioning why it happened or what went wrong. It can be a difficult time.
You might continue to tell yourself: “It’s not really over, they are not coming back” or other things to make yourself feel better. It’s easy to find comfort in these little white lies but in reality it isn’t doing you any good.
Holding on to the dream of getting back together is just going to make things worse in the long run.
Letting go and accepting the fact will make it easier to move on and speed up the healing process.
Now is the time that you get really mad. You keep thinking about all of the ways he has hurt you and how you are going to get back at him.
You want to show everyone how much of a jerk they are so that they can hate them too. You want vengeance and retribution.
This isn’t the best way to deal with your feelings however. In reality, you need to take a step back before all of these blows up in your face.
You need to think twice before going through with your plans and making things much worse than they already are.
This is one of the hardest stages of getting over a breakup. You might feel worse than nothing, a no one, a giant loser.
There is no reason to feel this way even though the recent break can often make you feel down.
If you continue thinking this way it can lead you down a terrible path of self-questioning and doubt.
You may rack your brain thinking of reasons why they dumped you. “Am I too fat? Am I ugly? Did they find someone better than me?”
These are all questions you don’t need to be asking yourself. Take a step back and gather your thoughts for the time being.
Obviously you have some great qualities which attracted them to you in the first place.
This is the point that things start to get better. It might not feel like it at first but it will get better. This is where you accept the pain and sorrow and learn to live without him.
This is the most important stage of the healing process. Without being able to accept your loss, the grieving process can not truly begin.
After you accept that you can live without him it only gets better from there. Be strong and move on because you are worth it.
Look at the bright side, things are on the upswing at this stage. The wounds are starting to heal.
You have stopped beating yourself up and asking why. You can think about what the future holds and see the light at the end of the tunnel.
You think about the things you used to enjoy doing and start having fun again. Life is good and things are looking up.
You may want to make some time for yourself at this point and begin to experience life again on your terms.
7. Understanding and Compassion
Remember, it isn’t just you who is feeling down. He has made a tough decision and is most likely hurting as well.
Leaving someone is a tough decision to make and is rarely done without much thought or at least some regret.
No one enjoys seeing someone else suffer, especially someone that they have loved or possibly still love.
The one doing the dumping can feel riddled with guilt about the difficult decision they have just made.
This means they have compassion and a conscience. For whatever reason, the decision has been made.
It isn’t all that important why, something just wasn’t working out.
One thing to remember is when you love someone or feel connected to them it is difficult to hurt their feelings.
Often couples will stay together out of convenience or not wanting to hurt the other’s feelings.
In this type of situation it becomes more of a business agreement.
You work just hard enough to keep up your end of the bargain. This doesn’t help either one and will never work out in the long run.
Finally, last of the stages of getting over a breakup is discovering understanding that you can’t be friends with your ex, or at least not right after the breakup.
You might not want to keep any type of relationship with the person who has already hurt you badly. If you stay friends, you might not able to get over the breakup.