You’re sick of it. You try your best approaching a beautiful woman but, in the end, you fail harder than a gorilla hitting on a unicorn. Hell, we are living in the 21st century, where women propose to men, why is it still such a big deal for women to approach men? Honestly, it’s not. But you have to meet us halfway. Meaning: Take care of the fundamentals!
They are many ways to make her notice you. And I‘m not talking about putting a funny hat on. Well, I guess it depends on the hat. Here are 9 steps on how to make HER approach you! And believe me, it works. Because I know what we’re looking for.
1. Always dress well
Look, I get the part that you do not want to change for anyone, but seriously, never go out looking like you just rolled out of bed and only own one pair of pants which also function as pajamas. Make sure you took a shower before you walk out your house. Get a clean, preferably non-smelly, shirt out of your closet and wear a pair of nice pants (no stains!). Try to stand out from the competition. Meaning: Don’t dress like everyone else. There are billions of other men out there. Why should she look at you? Dress to express your character.
2. Eat healthy and be fit
You don’t have to be able to deadlift 600 lbs+, have six-pack abs or look like a model, but you do have to avoid eating too much junk food and drinking too much alcohol as that will reflect in your skin and weight. It makes you look yellowish-grey or bloated. Show your health to the outside and let your level of attraction go through the roof.
3. Be loud
The louder, the better. Well, I’m not talking about screaming with your buddies like a bunch of cavemen who bathed in a puddle of vodka. I’m talking about speaking a little louder and deeper than usual. Make her hear you, notice you. Make sure everyone else knows you‘re there.
4. Have fun
Be in the center of the conversation, crack some jokes (avoid controversial jokes about religion, politics, etc.) and be in a great mood. There’s nothing more attractive than a guy who knows how to have a good time. Tell me: How often do you see a cranky, moody and grumpy person in the corner of a bar being approached by a beautiful woman? Ehm, probably just once and that’s only because she had to ask him where the ladies‘ bathroom was. Ouch.
5. Be Approachable
Everyone knows that handsome guy with a great fashion taste, smooth and wavy hair and stunning smile that makes every woman faint with a moan. But he seems to be unapproachable. And actually, he is. He never smiles back as he knows, he doesn’t need to. Girls always come running to him, at least that’s what he thinks. Looks is not everything and girls fall more often for the friendly, humorous and of course, non-arrogant type. Show her that you can laugh at stupid jokes, smile at her, and show her you’re ready for a conversation.
6.Use body language to your advantage
It conveys much more information than you thought – consciously and subconsciously. First thing: Relax. Don’t stand stiffly and look like you have god-knows-what up your butt. However you present your emotions through your body language, she will reflect them. So don’t look too scared or tensed, cross your arms, look at the floor or even face the wall. Take a deep breath, feel your body loosen up and straighten your back. Don’t let your arms dangle next to your body like they don’t belong to you. Show her you have personality and be self-confident.
You see an extremely attractive woman? Smile! It doesn’t matter if you see her looking at you or not, give the impression you have the time of your life with your friends. Of course, don’t smile without any reason while standing alone in the middle oft the room staring into space, you don’t want to come across a creep. Look like someone who’s friendly and easy to talk to.
8. The look
In case your eyes meet, don’t look quickly the other way. This could give the impression that you’re either insecure or uninterested. There are not many chances to convince her that you’re the guy she’s longing for. The first impression is everything. And most importantly: Don’t stare at her for too long. This is incredibly scary and makes you look like a pervert or creep. Look at her casually and if she looks back, smile for a second and get back to your own business. Repeat this occasionally and build excitement.
9. Be on the spot
Be around her. But not stalker-like. Make it easy for her to approach you, give her some glimpses, smile genuinely, leave your group once in a while and see how she reacts.
But what if all signs, like playing with her hair, smiling back and several glances at you, speak for her interest, but she still doesn’t make a move? Well, then I’m sorry, but you need to pull yourself together and go over there! News flash: We girls are shy, too (or not drunk enough) so grow a pair and go over there, because it’s now or never! Find an excuse to talk to her like getting (intentionally) lost, commenting on her shirt, the club‘s music or her excellent book taste (if, for example, she’s at a cafe).
You’re now standing in front of her and don’t know what to do next? Follow these steps for a thriving conversation:
Avoid standard pick-up lines
Here is some information for you: Every woman has heard every existing pick-up line at least once in her lifetime. And believe me, they really don’t differ much. Lines like „Was your mother a beaver? ‘Cause damn!” or “Excuse me. I think you have something in your eye. Nope, it’s just a sparkle” are simply horrible. They show a lack of creativity and authenticity and relate not in the slightest to the girl you’re talking to. These lines are embarrassing, and believe me, not just for you.
Ever heard of vicarious embarrassment? As I said above, compliment her on something that she wears, reads, does or is interested in, like hobbies, travel, music etc. Find common interests, listen and be friendly.
I don’t care how rich you are, what car you drive or how fancy your new watch is; well, of course, some women do. And it also depends on what you’re looking for – a one-night-stand or that-one-girl. But boasting shows a lack of personality. And you have much more to offer, don’t you?
To act casual is not the same as being casual. Make sure to not try too hard to convince her what kind of great catch you are. Be easy going, don’t see things so narrow-minded and make sure she feels comfortable around you.
Make her laugh
Seriously, there’s nothing more attractive than a guy who makes you giggle like a school girl. Laughing breaks the ice and builds a foundation that is easy to work on.
Well, you don’t need to tell her your darkest secrets, but don’t say things like „oh, you stopped drinking, too? I’ve been dry for a year now“ while your breath says you booze like a sailor. Don’t speak to impress.
All in all, have a good time and be yourself. You need to understand that there is no right or wrong when it comes to the man approaching the woman or the woman approaching the man. And the sentence „women should approach men first, I don’t understand why I should do it“ just conveys that someone is scared of being rejected. And honestly, if you don’t have the cojones to approach a woman, you most likely won’t succeed if they make the first step.
If you follow the simple steps above on how to be more appealing and approachable, it won’t be too long before you have girls walking over to you, blowing your mind. Always think about it this way: You have nothing to lose.