Searching for a place to live is similar to searching for a partner. It is your personal choice and you need time to figure out what suits you. You may visit a really luxurious palace with friendly roommates but you will not be interested in it for various reasons, likewise beautiful or handsome partner alone is not the end to choose them. So here are some of the rules that apply commonly to both searching your home and your partner.
It is straight, yes or no. You cannot tolerate certain aspects of a person no matter how insignificant it might sound to others. Similarly when you look for a house there are certain comfort factors like a lawn or balcony, they may not be a huge plus to a property but if that’s what you want, who can stop you. Have deal breakers but limit their numbers too many of them don’t serve any good. Apart from the property details, you might be a person who does not go well with people who are heavy drinkers.
What are you expecting out of your relationship?
The relationship might be with the house, your roommate or romantic partner. Are you looking for a long term or just few dates? Similarly what you want from your living place. Are you planning to stay for a long time or for a short span of time? , based on this make your choices. When you have decided it is time for a long term purpose, think and make a wise decision.
Internet and pictures
Well there is no shortage for dating and real estate websites and application. The pictures and descriptions posted in them are highly deceiving. Do not fall for just the well written profiles and property descriptions. Go out check yourself. Before you hook up to someone over the internet, meet them and have a friendly chat to know how they are as a person. Go see your property and verify all the details listed out. After all everyone knows the power of Photoshop so take a look at the real world apart from just the knowledge you gained over the digital world.
When you meet in person ask detailed questions
Don’t refrain yourself from questioning. Well it is always good to make informed choices rather than a hasty decision. Well it may sometime make the person opposite to you (either your date or roommates) feel you are questioning a lot. So to keep you in a comfortable position, start a friendly conversation and ask questions in a frequent interval. They may sound as simple as dealing with cockroaches and mice’s.
Don’t get desperate
And desperations lead to clouding your judgments. Don’t worry that you will end homeless or single. Go through all the details presented and make an informed choice.
Communication or proximity
While dating communication plays a major role, similarly your place of stay’s proximity to your workplace or university is as important as well. Staying in a good place with nice roommates but miles away from the place you visit daily will lead to stressful amount of travel. Lack of communication in dating will lead to unnecessary stress, you really don’t know what your partner is up to and the restless feeling sets in.
Gifts and maintenance
They are inevitable when you have decided to stay in a place which was well maintained and handed over to you in a perfect condition you will have to concentrate over maintenance after some time. Your partner may be close to you but relationships come with expectations and you need to add some amount of excitement to it. Surprise gifts or parties make you partner feel that this is the first time you met them. This could take any relationship a long way.
Don’t enforce your rules
Be it with your roommate or partner. Don’t go parading your rules over them. Everyone has their own comfort zones don’t try to pull them out of it for your sake. This will eventually lead to fall out of the relationship and you will be tagged “control freak”. Don’t bulge in others personal space.
Don’t let them enforce either
Don’t let your roommate o partner stop you at everything you do. You may do one or two things for their sake but constrained by their whims and fancies should be avoided. Helping your roommates in times of need or extreme conditions is fine but let them not throw all their chores at you, this hold for your partner who expects to carry out all their tasks for you.
Don’t become too dependent
When you are staying with roommates don’t expect them to do you all those little help. You cannot expect your roommate to clean the mess you make neither your partner can help you with everything in life. Becoming emotionally too dependent in dating comes with lots of troubles. The absence of your partner leaves you broken and difficult to pick up from those shackles.
It is a part of any relationship. You may have expectations or deal breakers but everything is not going to fall in place perfectly. There are going to be things which are undesirable. You have to learn to adjust. Being stringent about your expectations is baseless and creates unpleasantness to everyone involved. So you are not going to end up in a dream property or with friendly roommates, there is nothing called ideal.
Time to leave
Well as much as adjustment is necessary, when you know you can no longer take it. Bid goodbye. The line between adjustment and time to leave should be drawn by you. If you are not comfortable or happy with what you are doing, it is the first step to look for a change.
You may not be able to follow each and every of the above stated points but make a try. These are the ideal dos and don’ts and there is nothing like ideal in this world. It is ok to be flawed and filled with imperfections.