Ask anyone how long it takes for a relationship to get boring, and you’re likely to see a wide range of answers from a few years to a couple of years. Relationship boredom is hardly rare and whether you’ve been dating for a few months or have been married for several years, it can strike at any time. And certain major life changes such as having kids or landing a promotion can certainly put some distance between you and your partner or even cause emotional infidelity.
It’s normal. The good news is your relationship isn’t doomed; you just need to make time for it and put some effort into rekindling the flame. Here are ten ways to keep the romance alive and hot when your relationship has taken a turn for Dullsville.
1. Try a New Activity Together
Is there something on your couple bucket list that the two of you always wanted to try? Maybe it’s ziplining, learning how to brew craft beer, or perfecting your golf swing. Taking a class or learning a new skill together can be a lot of fun and lead to some laughs and discovering new things about each other.
And if you’re both at a loss for something to try as a couple, maybe one of you can make the effort to participate in a favorite activity of the other. If your partner is into tennis, for example, at least give the sport a try—you may just discover you’re a natural at it.
If you’re not, at least you showed that you take an interest in and support your partner’s passions. Either way, it’s a win-win for your relationship.
Research has found that new experiences can increase dopamine levels in the brain. That’s one of the body’s feel-good hormones that run rampant when you’re first falling in love. So trying a new activity together can definitely help bring back that natural high you experienced early in your relationship.
2. Schedule Time For Each Other
When life gets in the way, sometimes you need to put your foot down and plan a day or night alone with your partner without any distractions. This shows you’re willing to make them and your relationship a priority. Mark a date on the calendar and then clear that day of work and any other obligations.
And when you’re with your partner, put away the mobile phone and resist the urge to check it during your dinner or other planned activity. Whoever just tagged you on Facebook can wait—your time with your loved one is more important.
Even just spending regular quality time together, whether it’s reading in bed or snuggling on the couch while watching a movie, can be very nurturing to your relationship.
3. Try Something New in Bed
If your sex life needs some spicing up, maybe you and your partner have gotten too used to the same-sex position or type of foreplay. It’s time to try something new, whether it’s looking towards the Kama Sutra for inspiration or perusing sex toys. You don’t need to get overly kinky if you or your partner is uncomfortable—even playing a sexy card or board game for couples can create a hot evening.
No one is born being a great lover; it often requires on-going education and imagination. Sometimes all it takes is doing something minor such as learning the fine art of talking dirty and knowing what turns your partner on. Watching your partner masturbate and seeing what their body needs as they pleasure themselves can be a huge turn-on.
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If you both want to become a bit more uninhibited, why not try role-playing? One of you can pretend to be the object of your partner’s fantasy, such as a rock star or police officer. Costumes are optional, but can certainly send those flames soaring!
4. Build Anticipation
On that note, foreplay isn’t something that can only begin once the two of you are physically in the same room. Build anticipation for the sexy evening you have planned by sending your partner a few suggestive texts, starting from some flirty good morning messages for her, emails which can inspire her, or loving voicemails during the day. You may find you both can’t keep your hands off each other once you’re both home!
5. Get Away From It All
When’s the last time you and your partner took a trip alone, without the kids? If it’s been a few years, it may be time to put the family vacation on hold this year and plan an excursion for just the two of you. And even if you don’t have children, requesting some time off from work so you can spend some uninterrupted time together can do wonders for reconnecting.
You don’t have to plan an expensive trip to a tropical location or overseas to make it romantic. Even a weekend at a B&B a short drive away may be just what you need to de-stress and get closer.
Or try visiting a city or state neither of you has been to before, but have always been curious to check out. You may just discover your new romantic place.
6. Don’t Forget The Little Gestures
The little things you and your partner do during the day to show each other that you care and still desire them can go a long way to keeping the romance alive. This includes giving them a sincere, lingering kiss goodbye when they leave for work or return home, giving them a playful slap on the rear end, winking at them, and other flirtations. Chances are both of you flirted with each other while you were dating and there’s no reason to stop that once you’ve been with each other for a while.
7. Dance With Each Other
Few physical activities are sexier than dancing with your partner. Whether you’re into letting it all loose with your moves or shuffling back and forth to your favorite romantic song, dancing forces two people to make physical contact and invade each other’s personal space.
If both of you are willing, taking dance lessons can be a fun activity to try together.
8. Surprise Them With a Gift
Surprising your partner with a gift—especially if it’s something they’ve been wanting for a while—is another way to show you care about them and value what’s important to them.
This isn’t about spending a lot of money and constantly doling out presents to prove your love. In fact, that can backfire if you do it too often. It can be something as simple as giving them a gift card to their favorite coffee shop or buying them a vinyl record they’ve been wanting to add to their collection.
Or surprise them by ordering take out from their restaurant so they don’t have to deal with cooking or cleaning up after a long day at work.
9. Communicate With Them
Lack of communication is a leading reason why many relationships fail. Communication is the glue that holds a household together, especially when you have children and other important obligations. It’s really important to make your needs known and reach agreements about household chores to be done and who will pay the bills and handle other financial responsibilities when you live together.
This includes communicating in the bedroom as well. Talking to your partner about your fantasies, desires, and what turns you on is healthy and can lead to hotter sex.
And besides this type of communication, just talking to your partner about how their day went can help maintain your union. Yes, it’s romantic sometimes to think that you can read each other’s minds and know what the other is thinking without a word being said. But at the end of the day, all of us need social interaction. Something as simple as a dinner conversation lets your partner know
10. Appreciate Them
How many of us can honestly say we take the time regularly to let our partner know how much we appreciate having them in our life? Sure, we can give them a gift as suggested, but sometimes a person needs to hear verbal reassurance that they’re loved and cherished. Those two simple words, “thank you”, can go a long way towards keeping a relationship strong.
Don’t be shy about thanking your partner if they helped you out by driving you to work while your car was in the shop or coming with you for moral support for a doctor’s appointment. Everyone enjoys feeling appreciated and wanted.
Keep The Romance Alive With These Ten Tips
These ten tips can surely help keep the romance alive no matter how long you’ve been with your current partner, but they’re not the only ones. Feel free to get creative with new ways to keep your relationship fresh and exciting.
For more advice on keeping things hot in and out of the bedroom, check out our Love and Sex section!