On campus, there are all kinds of relationships going on. There is true love, and then there are awkward relationships whereby you have no idea what’s going on. For most, campus is a place to experience new things and find yourself. When it comes to relationships though, one needs to be very careful.
There are those that want to fit in and look cool so they will look for a relationship that is beneficial to them and has nothing to do with love. For most guys on campus, they date but end up regretting because they wasted their time with the wrong people. It hurts when you realize you wasted a portion of your life with someone.
We have compiled a few things that you need to avoid for you to have an enjoyable college experience.
1. Do Not Be a Backup
Do not play second fiddle to anyone. You may like someone more than they like you and they end up being in control of the relationship. For them, they don’t care, and they only remember you when they need something. You are the second option for them. It’s a tricky situation when you put your effort and heart to someone who does not care. You will end up hurting yourself, and they will not care.
Do not let yourself be the backup person who they fall back to when they are experiencing problems. Do not be that person who is always hopeful that the person you love will change eventually. Avoid giving people that option because if they care for you, they will show it. If you are a second option to someone, they will use and abuse you and move on. They won’t even remember that someone like you existed.
In college, most people are discovering themselves, and even relationships are just an experience for them. Look for that person who gets you and contributes to your growth in life and school. Relationships are a beautiful thing, but with the wrong person you will end up a bitter person who does not care about love. Once you feel like someone does not appreciate you, talk to them and state your position. If they care about you, they will change, but if they are using you, they won’t care. If you do this and they continue acting like you are the second option to them, leave. College is a beautiful place with lots of opportunities; do not let someone ruin this journey for you. Know your worth so that when someone does not respect you, you will be able to tell them off. Do not let someone take you for granted.
If you feel that this may be your case, know that you are not alone. Read here why men stay in bad relationships.
2. Reading into Things When You Shouldn’t
Have you ever been in a situation where you liked someone, and they didn’t reciprocate the feelings? Well, most of us have been there. You may like someone, and they may like you too, but not as you think. Sometimes, a person can be nice to you but not interested in you in a relationship kind of way.
If someone smiles, talks or is even caring to you; it does not mean that they want you. Sometimes, what you see is what you get. It is crucial for you to realize that there are people who you will meet in college who will only be friends with you. Not every interaction with the opposite sex will lead to a relationship. Accept this fact, and you will save yourself a lot of heartache in the future.
Going out with someone for coffee or dinner may lead to something more but unless you know what the other person wants, you will fill in the blanks on your own, and you may be wrong. Instead of creating your fantasy, speak to the person that you’re interested in and hear from them. Jumping into conclusions will eventually lead to a confrontation when you’re wrong, and you will only have yourself to blame.
Most of us are guilty of taking a date more seriously than we should. In college, most people are looking for an adventure or just sex. Many will say all the right things to you, but once they get what they want, they leave you and move on to their next target. Unless someone tells you that you are in a relationship exclusively with them, do not assume this fact.
3. Leading Someone On
On campus, there are times you will feel like you need a companion and others you will want to be on your own. However, leading someone on when you know too well you don’t see a future with them is not okay. You may be head over heels in love with someone, but to them, you are just a person they keep around so as not to be single.
You may want to be in a relationship, but you feel no attraction towards that person. So you end up leading someone on for a while instead of letting them know where you stand. It is a situation that most of us have found ourselves in and in a perfect world this would not exist, but life is not fair at times.
Everyone needs to feel loved and appreciated, but we seek this feeling in the wrong places at times. There are those who are in relationships for convenience sake and not because they are in love. It is a habit that’s rampant on campus, and it’s advisable to avoid it if you can.
Leading someone on is an easy thing to do but remember you’re also wasting your own time. You will miss a chance to be in a real relationship as you fake one with someone you’re not serious about. Avoid this by being clear on why you are in a relationship in the first place.
4. Being Picky
In a relationship, you need to learn the art of compromise for it to work. For most people, however, they forget that relationships are about giving in to some things even if you do not like them.
On campus, you may tend to be picky about the type of character and habits that your partner has. You will, in turn, end up trying to change who a person truly is and make them conform to your preferences. In the end, you will be in a fake relationship since the habit that your partner has in not their true colors. To avoid this, talk to your partner and let them know which habits annoy you.
They say beggars can’t be choosers, but that does not mean you have to settle for the first person you meet. Sometimes, being picky will make you leave a good person, and you end up in a relationship that’s not fulfilling to you. Campus life is an adventure, and by being too picky, you will miss out on some of the fun that comes with being spontaneous.
When you avoid being picky, you may land the girl of your dreams. A relationship is not an exam where you feel like you need to get everything right. Sometimes, taking a risk may turn into one of the best experiences of your campus life. Once in a while, allow yourself to be surprised, and you will find out it’s not that bad. As they say, letting yourself go in a relationship is half the fun of finding true love.
5. Thinking You Need to Be in a Relationship
We understand that on campus there is the pressure one feels as though they need to be in a relationship. To some, it is a type of validation to prove that they are dateable. Others get into relationships to fit in or have someone to keep them company. However, these are all the wrong reasons for you to be in a relationship. It is okay to be single sometimes. A campus is a place where you go to find yourself and being in a relationship with the wrong person may cost you this opportunity.
When you get out of a relationship, it is common for most people to want a rebound. On campus, you have the perfect chance to do this since there is an abundance of people who you can get into a relationship with. Women make up for 56% of the campus population!
However, there’s no harm in taking a break from relationships on campus. For your own sake, you should be in a happy and healthy relationship. You can spend this time hanging out with friends and concentrating on your studies. You will be surprised that being single is not that bad. Try dating yourself; it is possible to be in a relationship with yourself. Find which activities intrigue you more in the campus.Enroll in that art class, start yoga, try new things and settle for the ones that bring you joy.
Relationships on campus are a big deal, and when couples surround you, it may put pressure on you to get into one to fit in with the rest. It is a wrong move to make since you will not be in a relationship for you but to impress others. You should steer clear of such relationships since they may end up making you forget why you got into one in the first place.
The campus is a place where we discover new things and being in a relationship is one of them. However, you should remember that your number one agenda is to study. Being in a horrible relationship while on campus may affect your studies as well. Avoid these habits as you embark on a journey of self-discovery and awareness.
Have you experienced any of the above mistakes? Please share with us in the comments section below and how you recovered.