4 Myths About the Female Orgasm
Last start with some myths about sex and premature ejaculation before we digg into the details
Long Sex = Good Sex
Guys often equate marathon sexual sessions with great sex. However, men and women are wired differently. Many women prefer 10-20 minutes of passionate, rough sex.
As guys, we tend to think we need to have sex with a girl for hours on end to really please her. But this is often wrong. Women fantasize about passion. A woman’s favorite sexual experience may the time she had sex for two minutes in a bathroom or an impromptu back-seat-of-the-car romp.
Just remember to be a passionate lover! While you do need to last a little while (about 8 - 12 minutes), a few minutes of passionate sex is better than 2 hours of endless, mundane pumping.
Penis Size = Female Satisfaction
Guys - stop worrying about the size of your member. Penis size doesn't matter to many women. In a 2012 study, researchers found that over sixty percent of women don't care about the size of their partner’s penis.
Also, the average penis size is actually much smaller than most men believe. A study done in 2013 by the Journal of Sexual Medicine found the average penis to be around 5.5 inches long. Another study found women prefer penises that were around 6.5 inches long when asked to pick a penis ranging from 4 inches up to 8.5 inches.
And if you ask a woman about their best lover ever – it's rarely the guy with the biggest member. No - most women say that the best sex of their life was an incredibly passionate experience.
Penetration is Necessary for a Woman to Orgasm
As humans, we all love sex. Women love sex just as much as men. However, men and women love sex in different ways. Men enjoy an orgasm in almost every sexual encounter. Women want this as well, but there's a problem: roughly 30% of women cannot reach orgasm.
Not only that - but around 80% of women have never had a vaginal orgasm. This means that only 1 in 5 women can orgasm from penetration alone. That’s not a good percentage, guys. So why do we worry so much about penetration?
Well, I don’t know the answer to that. What I can tell you is that we shouldn’t! You can give your woman an orgasm in a number of ways - before, during, and after penetration. Statistically speaking, you are much more likely to give your girl a clitoral orgasm with your mouth than any other way.
Women Don’t Like Sex as Much as Guys Do
Guys, we aren't in middle school anymore. Women love sex. Do you think Fifty Shades of Grey would've been one of the bestselling books of all-time if they didn't?
Women fantasize about sex just as much as we do. They have just been taught to be more discreet about their desires. If you think a woman is innocent and doesn't have as dirty of a mind as you do, then you're dead wrong.
Women get turned on in a completely different way than we guys do. Often, what arouses a woman is much more complex than what arouses a man. Guys might be turned on by seeing a hot girl with a nice body, but a woman needs more than just the visual.
Science used to claim that men are more sexual than women, but this was due to inaccurate study-results. Women have been proven to lie more than men in surveys. They often attempt to answer how they think they "should", instead of being honest.
What are the causes of
Exessive Porn Consumption
Yep, that’s right. Porn. According to recent studies, porn consumption affects dopamine production- a hormone responsible for controlling your ejaculation reflex. By watching adult videos excessively you teach yourself to come too quickly.
Since Internet porn makes it very easy for us to watch all kinds of fetishes and pornstars, we get used to it and masturbate to quickly achieve orgasm—almost like an addict seeking the next dopamine rush. Most men develop this habit from a very early age, making it hard to overcome if the right techniques are not used.
Specifically Serotonin and Testosterone. . The hormone Serotonin controls our feelings of happiness and regulates sleep. However, there is also a direct connection between that hormone and your endurance in bed. This is why antidepressants are prescribed for these issues.
Unfortunately, they have a long list of side effects, like loss of sex drive and fatigue, making them impractical to use. The second hormone, testosterone, regulates your sexual desire, muscle growth, fitness, vitality and much more. Addressing this issue brings a number of additional benefits, such as having more confidence, as well as the ability to go for that 2nd round.
Anxiety & Performance Pressure
Having had many bad experiences – over and over again – you developed a mental block in you subconscious. With each failed attempt you felt more and more pressure to finally perform well. You may have also had unrealistic expectations due to excessive porn consumption, from comparing yourself with pornstars (consciously and unconsciously) causing even more stress.
You may have also had unrealistic expectations due to excessive porn consumption, from comparing yourself with pornstars (consciously and unconsciously) causing even more stress.
Your ancestors, back in cavemen days, had to be prepared to fight for their family, food, and more at a moment's notice. This meant that marathon sexual sessions were not an option. Men that took a long time to come could be attacked during the act which decreased their odds of passing on their genes.
However, men who came quickly were able to spread their seed far and wide. A few pumps here, a few pumps there, and a baby was on the way. Men who could spread their seed rapidly had more offspring. Therefore, we all have a genetic inclination toward premature ejaculation.
So, relax – coming quickly is not a bad thing. You're genetically wired to do this, just like every other guy. The good news is that many men have found ways around this issue, and so can you!
The Most Common Solution to
Kegel exercises work out your pelvic floor muscle in order to give you more control over your orgasm. The muscles that control your orgasm are similar to those that control the flow of urine when you urinate.
If you ever had to stop peeing in the middle of using the restroom, then you know how to flex your kegel muscles. However, for most men premature ejaculation is mental not physical. If you can stop yourself in the middle of urinating then your kegel muscles are strong enough.
Strengthening your pelvic floor through kegel exercises can still be beneficial to some men. If you have well trained pelvic muscles, you can learn the squeeze-and-hold-technique, allowing you to hold in your ejaculation when orgasming, without losing your erection. You can just keep going. This requires the right exercises tho.
The first step in kegel exercises is to identify your pelvic floor muscle by stopping in the middle of urination. Once you can feel the muscle, you’ll want to start practicing. Go pee and then lie on your back with knees bent and spread apart. Flex your pelvic floor muscles and hold the contraction for 3 seconds. Then relax for 3 seconds and go again. Do 3-5 sets to begin and work your way up to 10 sets.
Try Hypnosis to “reprogram” your subconscious mind to last longer
Whether you like it or not, your subconscious thoughts and desires control more of your actions than you’d imagine - especially during intercourse. Many things come into play, like what you associate with sex such as, old memories and irrational fears - all of which may be causing you issues and are not very encouraging.
Oftentimes men get into a subconscious self-fulfilling prophecy or vicious cycle: Because you had so many experiences of finishing too fast, your subconscious starts to accept it as the standard and strives to fulfill it.
NLP (Neuro Linguistic-Programming) and Hypnosis offer you a way to take your interfering thoughts and turn them into useful ones. It will help you to detach yourself from your fears and rewire your subconscious mind for longer lasting sex.
If your subconscious mind does not align with your conscious control of your body, you will continually be fighting an uphill battle in fighting premature ejaculation.
Adjust Hormones by Changing
Your Diet, Taking Supplements or
Hormones influence all aspects of sex. Serotonin and dopamine have a direct impact on how long you last in bed. You can change the effects of these hormones on your sex organs by taking SSRI pills, which have been proven to help prolong male ejaculation time. However, SSRI pills often have major side effects.
One of the main (and very common) side effects of SSRI pills is erectile dysfunction… Now I don’t know about you, but I’d prefer to ejaculate prematurely than not to be able to get it up. So, instead of taking SSRI pills, you might want to try changing your diet.
Foods like bananas, dark chocolate, wild fish, free range beef, and organic eggs all boost serotonin levels. Also, consider drinking a whey protein shake each day.
Alternatively, you can use supplements and natural plant extracts to boost your serotonin production - without the side effects you’d get from SSRI medication. This is because supplements and plant extracts provide your brain with the necessary proteins it needs to produce serotonin, instead of pushing your receptors to produce more (like SSRIs do). It helps your body to reach its full, natural potential and balances out a deficiency in serotonin (if you happen to have one).
Positions To Help You Last Longer
It’s much harder to last in some sexual positions than in others. Every man needs to find out what positions work best for him. However, there are some general guidelines to follow:
First, you want to have gravity working for you - not against you. This means that the "missionary position" may be contributing to your problem. Not only is your penis on a downward slope while in missionary, but you also have to hold up your own body weight. Holding your body weight up requires you to flex your muscles, which leads to faster ejaculation.
Try girl-on-top positions to delay ejaculation. Your muscles won’t be flexed and you'll have gravity on your side. Control her movements by firmly guiding her hips with your hands. If you get close to coming, stay inside your girl, but pull her down to kiss you. As you kiss, make sure she stops moving. This will give you a nice break.
Gain confidence in bed and
eliminate performance anxiety
If you are nervous about having sex with a girl or busting too quickly, you most likely will do just that. Sex is like sports. If you are thinking about missing a shot or dropping a ball, you will. If you are thinking about coming quickly, you will.
However, you can handle this problem in a few ways. The first way is the fun way. If you have a girlfriend or a chick you are regularly having sex with then start having more sex. Actually, you should have as much sex as possible. Practice makes perfect.
Another way to get rid of performance anxiety is through affirmations. When you wake up in the morning walk to the mirror and stare at yourself. Then start saying things like, “I am going to rock her world” or “My sexual stamina is a strength” or “I can last as long as I want”. You get the idea. Repeat each saying 10 times every morning.
Lastly, you can try using NLP (Neuro Linguistic-Programming) to cure your performance anxiety.
Your Breathing During Sex Plays a
Big Role In Your Arousal, and How
Long You Can Last in Bed
Men breathe heavier and faster when they're about to come. How you breathe is directly correlated with your level of excitement and arousal. When your breath is heavy during intercourse, your mind thinks it's time to ejaculate.
Thus, to extend your stamina in the bedroom, you must control your breathing. Make a mental note to breathe slowly while you're inside your girl. Relax your mind and slow your breath. If this means you slowly thrust in and out of her, so be it. If you start to breathe heavily during sex and can't catch your breath - slow down or pull out. Then, catch your breath and start again.
Learn to please her in other ways
Practice makes perfect. If you're going to last longer in bed, you need to have more sex. And it’s tough to have a lot of sex if you can't get a girl to have sex with you more than once.
This means you need to please her in other ways. If premature ejaculation is a big issue for you, learn to pleasure a woman without penetration. The two easiest ways to do this are with your fingers and/or your mouth.
Fingering the clitoris is often a waste of time. However, you can still use your fingers to your advantage. To finger a girl properly, use your index and middle fingers. Slide these two fingers inside her (wet) vagina and find the “squishy” part of her vagina, located on the top of the vaginal cavity, about an inch or two inside of her. Slowly begin to make a come-hither motion with your fingers. This stimulates her G-spot. As she begins to enjoy what you are doing, you can get fairly aggressive fingering her. Babies come out of that thing; you don’t have to be too careful with it. Just remember to listen to breathing and moaning.