The Art of Giving a Sensual Massage

By Sarah Williams

Posted 7 years agoSEX

A good sensual massage is a lot like good lovemaking. It connects two people in a relaxed and blissful (albeit horny) state. Done properly, a sensual massage brings both lovers together, even though only one feels the pleasure. However, that pleasure is almost always accompanied by sensual lovemaking or great sex. A win-win for all involved!

So, what exactly is a sensual massage?

Well, it’s a massage that allows you to focus on your partner’s erogenous zones – to relieve stress, relax, and increase intimacy. The goal of the massage is to bring the two of you together; it is not to give her an orgasm. However, this does occasionally happen.

Giving a sensual massage brings another aspect of intimacy into your relationship, because it is non-sexual. This extra intimacy is even achieved if sex happens after the massage.

A sensual massage (also called a tantric massage) is a great way to bond with your partner. Just make sure you communicate before you begin. You’ll want to be on the same comfort level before your hands start exploring her body.

You don’t need to be a professional masseuse to give a great sensual massage. You just need to understand what to do and when to do it. While there are hundreds of different ways to give your partner a sensual massage, we’ll stick to the basics.

Here’s how to give a sensual massage to your girl:

The Set Up

One of the most important aspects of a successful sensual massage is setting everything up just right. If you don’t set things up properly, you partner won’t enjoy the massage as much.

Luckily, the set-up for a sensual massage is pretty simple. To begin, plan a time to have the massage. Tell your partner you want to give her a massage. (She’ll know you want sex after.) She won’t care, because she knows she’ll be horny after the massage.

Next, prepare your place. Clean your whole home, and clear your bedroom of any distractions. Actually make your bed and put down a blanket you wouldn’t mind having oil on.

Next, grab a few candles. You’ll want to light them right before she arrives. Try to get a candle with a relaxing scent, like vanilla. Grab an extra sheet and place it next to your bed.

You’ll want to incorporate music as well. The best massage music is slow and relaxing, but sensual. Try finding some slow, instrumental R & B, jazz, or blues (no vocals to distract her). Or, try downloading a sensual spa mix. This should be played at a soft volume.

The Best Oils

The last part of the set-up is selecting an oil to use. You do not want to use lotion. Lotion can be cold and may bring a bit of tension to the body when applied. Lotions also absorb into the skin easily and need to be constantly reapplied. Oils, on the other hand, are warm and relaxing. Again, DO NOT USE LOTION.

There are a number of different types of oils to choose from. You’ll want to select an water-based oil. And, as many oils are derived from nuts, you’ll want to make sure your partner isn’t allergic. Here are some great oils to try:


You’ll want to experiment and see what works best for you. We’ve found the top three oils to be almond, apricot, and grape seed.

Once you have selected an oil, you need to prep it for the massage. 15 minutes before the message is to begin, place your massage oil in a warm bowl of water. This way it’ll feel pleasurable when it touches your partner’s skin.

Lastly, make sure to keep your oil near you at all times. It will be needed throughout the massage for continual lubrication.

The Technique

Now, onto the good stuff…

Your place is all set up. Your girl has arrived. Now what?

Make pleasantries. Ensure that she’s relaxed and ready to enjoy a massage. Then have her strip down and lay on her stomach on the bed. Gently place the extra white sheet over her entire backside.

Begin by oiling up you own body. Make sure she can watch. Oil up your arms and chest. This will begin to arouse her.

Put a small amount of oil in your hands, and rub them together to warm everything up. Begin touching her body. Use smooth strokes to glide over her neck and shoulders. Caress her arms with your whole hand, moving up and down.

Don’t break contact with her body at any time. Move your hands over her body in a rhythmic and synchronized manner.

Each time you begin to explore a lower part of her body, slowly move the sheet back. This creates anticipation and is very sensual for her.

Let your body weight rest on her. Don’t try to use your arms for strength. Begin using deeper strokes. Press your chest lightly against her back. She’ll find the sensation of your skin brushing her back arousing. Kiss her softly on the jaw and neck.

Slowly come up and lick her lower back. Breathe warm air up and down her spine. Don’t forget – never let your hands break contact with her body. As your warm breath reaches her neck, begin to lightly kiss and nibble her ear.

Move back down and begin to slowly massage her bottom. Start softly, but gradually increase the pressure. Make sure her legs are slightly spread apart so you can reach her inner thighs. Begin to light skim the area with your hands as you breathe on her neck.

Ever so slightly, brush her vagina with the back of your hand as your massage her bottom and inner thighs.

Next, flip her on her back (ever so slowly), remembering to always stay in contact with her. Begin by massaging the front of her shoulders. Work your hands down her arms. Skim over her breasts. Touch them, but don’t focus on them just yet. Softly play with her nipples.

Begin to kiss her stomach as you massage her inner thighs again. Place her leg on your shoulder, and begin to softly kiss her inner thigh. Slowly move down and (ever so gently) kiss the outer lips of her vagina. Continue kissing her inner thigh while you gently massaging her G-spot with one finger. Find the hood of her clit and softly rub it side to side.

Discover what she likes the most – when you kiss her vagina, when you finger her G-spot, or when you play with her clitoris. Listen for her gasps – if she sounds aroused, continue what you’re doing for a bit. As you’re doing the things she likes the most, move your other hand to her nipples and start gently massaging them.

Continue giving her pleasure in this manner until she can’t take it any more. Then slowly place the tip of your penis at the opening of her vagina. Tease her with it a bit; she should be begging for it at this point. Enter her just a bit, and then pull out. Lean over and kiss her as you go in a little further. Pull back out. Gently pull her hair and bite her neck. Then go in a little further. Pull back out. Slowly reach under her and grab her hips. Force her to arch her back and the kiss her as you plunge deep inside her.

The “massage” portion of your evening is now over…

About the author Sarah Williams

Sarah Williams is an avid blogger who specializes in dating advice. Her interests include gender relations and the underlying mechanisms that drive human interactions. You can check out her thoughts on men, sex, dating and love at Wingman Magazine .