How to Stop Being Jealous When my Girlfriend Is Talking To Other Guys

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5 easy ways to stop being jealous when my girlfriend is talking to other guys. Control your jealousy today!


Jealousy makes is hard for any relationship. It’s a feeling that is sometimes very difficult to avoid. Nevertheless, it is worth making effort to control it because it can become an obsession. Jealousy usually exists when we feel that somebody is superior to us. When we see our girlfriend talking with another guy, it can be hard to not get jealous.  We subconsciously compare ourselves with the other man who is approaching our woman.

If we feel less attractive than him at any point or just annoyed by him, then we can get jealous. Usually it isn’t an indictor of the truth or the health of our relationship, but more often with our low self-esteem. In a relationship, this is especially dangerous because it reveals a lack of trust and can lead to fights. You don’t want to be a controlling the partner.

If the relationship is dominated by insecurity and irrational suspicions, it is usually started down a slippery slope to break up. Jealousy is not congenital. It is a behavioral pattern we acquire. It’s definitely worth it to control these feelings for the sake of any relationship and our own state of minds.

1.    It’s only in your head

If you have low self-esteem and you see your partner smiling and chatting with someone else, you might start to project things on their interactions that simply don’t exist. Your jealousy can influence what you see. If your girlfriend is pretty, guys will want to talk with her. You cannot hide her in a cage. Is she only having a polite conversation with other guys without touching them, flipping her hair, or making  eyes at them? Don’t panic and don’t try to see sexual tension where it is not.

Even if your girlfriend wants to talk to another man, it doesn’t mean that she doesn’t love you. Women want to know that they are attractive to other man. If they approach her, even with romantic intentions, it doesn’t mean that she will cheat on you with another guy. Do you have a low opinion on her? Do you really think that you are not enough for her? I don’t think so! Relax and play it cool.

How to stop being jealous boyfriend

 2.  Take responsibility

Let’s make it clear: Unjustified jealousy is your problem, not your partner’s. Don’t make it a problem for both of you. You cannot control the whole world and every single move of the people you love. You are even less able to control other people approaching your girlfriend. If you feel that your envy is sometimes irrational, it probably is. Then it is time to focus on your feelings and not on your partner’s actions.

3.    Understand your feelings

Try to kind of observe your own feelings like you would another person’s., When you know what you feel, keep an objective distance. Fear is usually the source of the majority of our negative emotions. If you truly love her, then there is no place for fear.  Look objectively if your partner is doing something wrong. Don’t try to own a person. These types of feelings come from insecurity, not from love. Give your girlfriend freedom and don’t manipulate her.

 How to stop being jealous when my girlfriend talks to other guys

4.    Accept your feelings

We’e not robots, but as human beings we have to deal not only with positive feelings, but with the unwanted ones too. If there are suspicions, jealousy, or fears, we start to feel something unpleasant or embarrassed by our own behaviors. Checking somebody’s phone, stalking them on Facebook, writing pathetic or painful comments – is this the type of behavior you want? Accept that sometimes you feel a bit jealous when some nice guy is talking to your girlfriend. Don’t make a problem of it. Focus on you. Keep yourself busy, but also talk to someone. I’m sure the girl will be back in a few minutes when she will see you talking with some other girl!

5.   Be honest to yourself

Make a list of values you are bringing to the relationship. Ask yourself honestly if you would like to be with someone like you? Are you valuable partner? If you woul keep the answers honest you will see your self esteem. If it’s low this is a crucial thing to work on. You don’t feel you are handsome enough? So don’t be jelous of more attractive man and just do more sports, go on diet ect. You thing that other guys have more to say than you? So start doing something interesting! Find hobby and follow your passions. Do whatever is needed to think of you as an attractive person everyone would love to be.

when my girlfriend talks to other guys

About the author Thomas

Thomas Davis is 25-year old college student, passionate about computer science. After being a shy guy for most of his life, he realized that confidence is a learnable skill that anyone can possess with practice.

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  • Dan D

    Bullshit. By your reasoning, no one will have the right to be jealous. Consider that there are predators out there and skirt-chasers lurking about. I was like, go find your own girl, and if you are needy, I can help find you someone.

  • bfdbd

    i dont get people nowadays why is your girlfriend talking to other guys if she really loves you she wont talk to any guys and if anything shes supposed to know not to what is it with people somehow everything is based on trust i dont trust if shes talking to guys cmon people wake up and realize that you should be the only guy in her life

    • nman

      How do you stop someone from talking to other people? Lock them up?

      What gives you the right to control someone else’s life?

      • Annabanana

        exactly.

    • Jeffery Fishell

      She’s not allowed to talk to people? Your a loser. Do you talk to people? Oh i guess its different for the male, am i right? Pathetic,

      • nohandlebars

        Thank you

  • سعود السعودي

    I am sorry, I am not trying to insult you but this is the silliest suggestion I ever read about jealousy. And it is not only younwho suggest this, but many people. It is not jealousy nor low self-esteem that upsets me when a someone talks to my friend, it is a principle that people mostly ignore! Dude! Listen, I have self-esteem. The problem is that I spend days, hours, and weeks lonely. No one talks to me, and no one accepts me talking to them. But when I’m with the a friend male or female, people listen to our conversation and gage how to be involved in the conversation. It is not that they heard something interesting and wanna join tbe conversation. It is that they want to force me to talk to them when they notice that I am picky and do not talk to. Many other times they feel envious and want to deprive me from this joyful conversation. So they distract my friend and ignore me. When I try to rejoin the conversation and talk to the third person he or she ignores me and keep talking to my friend to punish me for being picky. I used to go to Union square NYC and set there. No one talks to me. So I saw someone interesting -i’m not gay- and he was setting there for nearly the same period I did, and no one talked to him. But when I approaches and started a conversation with him, people started to catch my eye to get involved in the conversation. I ignored them, so they turned to get into the conversation by talking to my new friend. As I told you, I spend very very sad long times lonely like an astray dog. No one pays me attention nor do they talk to my friend when he or she is lonely. But when we talk to each other, people get crazy, jealous, envious, and sneaky. people should learn not to stuff their noses into others conversations. People should be brave and go establish their own conversations with someone lonely rather than insinuate themselves into others’ conversations. Itis not about self-esteem, but it is about priciples and intentions. One day I was talking to my friend in a park. A guy cam and sat on an uncomfortable distance, he kept listening to me until he got a hang about the topic and stepped into the conversation. I ignored him, so he did not continue talking to my friend. Then after he turned his face away, I resumed my conversation with my friend. Then, that guy noticed that and turned back to talk with my friend again. I ignored again, and he ended the conversation because he could not get me to talk to him. So I resumed the conversation. And guess what? The guy got mad and decided to confront me saying, “HEY YOOOOOU!.. YOOOU!” but I ignored him and he was defeated! Another story is when I was talking with a friend on the train, a girl wanted to fail my conversation, so she decided to distract me by starting a small conversation with me, but I am inhabited to keep my current conversation no matter what. So I ignored her. I have many many many many other stories. So please don’t be superficial and blame it on my self esteem. You should blame it on rotten levered people who do not care about you when you are alone, but do care for ruining your conversations when you are with a friend like you are their enemy or something!

    • mond

      I think man don’t easily get jealous for nothing. It is not that bad seeing your girl talking and laughing with someone, especially knowing she is one of the boys kind of a lady. But jealousy sometimes starts when you see something between her and other guys. If she talk with others the things the two of you usually talks and laugh about, maybe she finds it better talking with others than you. I always believe that whether couples are in relationship, it is possible to fall in love with others. The only thing that they can do is run away for that feelings and be faithful to their partner. Nobody can stop feeling jealous especially when you love your partner so much. Even you understand her character, even if she feels nothing talking with others, there’s is no way to take away being jealous even for 1%. When you love, you’ve always wanted her to be only yours. Not in the sense that you will tie her under your belt. Let her to feel free but with limitations. Always let her know what you feel when you saw her talk to others. Let her know that you are jealous with someone or somebody even to the closest person to her. Tell her what you feel. And when she did nothing even the smallest thing she needed to do to adjust, after all the dramas you told her, maybe there is a problem. Be ready to be alone dude.

  • Jessica

    You know I have to admit that is great advice. My man accused me of cheating on him, when I just went to my guyfriend’s house to talk about my man to him and my man accused me of cheating on him, but he broke up with me, so I went to be with that guyfriend because he trusted me and my man was sorry that he said that to me. Then he accused me of doing something with another guy, but that guy said my man was cheating on me, but I shouldn’t of believed that guy because he just wanted to get in my panties and he tried to rape me and my man wanted me back, but he did do something that was wrong and he stopped doing things that was wrong. If your man is jealous then break up with him and make him jealous and then he will trust you if you break up with him to be with another guy because your man is to jealous, so make him jealous and he will want you more after he finds out that you get another guy in your life that trusts you. I am not going to lie that I was sad that he said I might like this other woman and I am not jealous because she has kids and drama too. Don’t lie to me about drugs. Your man will trust you after you got him to trust you because you are making him think you can get any man that will trust you and he will be a better man when you start making him think he is the best thing that happened to you, but if you don’t trust her then you will lose her because you don’t trust her around other guys and I don’t get along with females, but after saying he trusts me because he sees how faithful I am when he trusts me around other guys and if he doesn’t trust me then I break up with him and find another guy to hang out with or be with to make him realize what he has lost and he is trusting me 100%.

    • Joshua

      You’re just a bad girlfriend. Your original boyfriend was 100% in the right to suspect you of cheating when you *stay a long time at close man-friend’s house.*

    • Alan

      Your man and you sound like you deserve eachother as much as trash deserves the dump.

    • Ethan Jarvis

      So ur boyfriend broke up with you because u went to another guys house and then u went out with your “guy friend” the one who’s house u went to after yall broke up so u obviously liked him and ur accusing you ex as the bad guy……..smh

    • Black

      You sound retired some sort of and like a heartless maniac, so if you fall deeply in love with a guy that you can’t do without him by your side for a second, and you are comfortable with him and next you heard him on the phone telling another girl how lovely she is and how bad he is missing her, and that shit got you jealous, you are saying he should put you in the trash being for being jealous and ride on with the girlfriend on the phone? Disregarding your feelings and the emotional catastrophic destruction it will do to your heath state of life? You are sick and you are off from living you are just existing get formated rebranded shutdown and reboot and sure you will have a soul and a heart cos you don’t.

  • Alan

    Haha your basically saying flirting and talking are the same and that the real problem lies within yourself rather than your partner. There’s a reason our cavemen ancestors bludgeoned to death any other male within close proximity to their female. If your girlfriend is pretty then other guys want to fuck her not talk to her. Girls if you are pretty and have “guy friends” they all want to fuck you don’t kid yourselves, your boyfriend has good reason to be suspicious, you should be worried if he doesn’t care if you hang out with other guys in private because he’s prob doing the same with other girls. And if you make your girlfriend feel pretty she shouldn’t need to hear it from other guys. You sound like the same poor sapp soon we’ll be reading your article about how to spot signs your partner is cheating on you. Good luck with that whole not being jealous thing, it’s either going to make her furious that you seem like you don’t care if she smiles at other guys or it’s going to weird her out how open the relationship seems.

    • seldom seen smith

      Hear Hear! I like yer style, dude.

    • Jeffery Fishell

      No, he doesn’t have good reason to be suspicious. It is not her fault if guys fancy her, that is there fault. She should not always be conscious of the fact that she might be turning her male friends on by a simple conversation. What other males want is not a threat to the relationship. Only what your partner wants. You sound like a controlling abuser.

  • LGT78

    I fell into this mess with my Ex due to her obsession of flirting and sexting “Badboys” relentlessly during our relationship and I was made the ‘bad guy’ for not trusting her ‘friends’. My friends caught my ex on Tinder, Badoo and Instagram(yes, the photo sharing app) etc openly flirting with men whilst claiming to “love me”. Girls who seek constant reassurance from “men” on dating and/or social media apps will NEVER admit to their wrong doing. This article is all but bs. As all relationships have their traits good and bad, communication goes a long way to remediate issues with each other and not using dating/hook up apps to chat to random men to get sympathy. My ex tore my life apart with her annoying bunch of male friends constantly interfering in our relationship round the clock. I tried my level best to be calm and implied that her prioriities are totally out of synch, but who got the blame for being a green eye’d monster, me.

    Some women who play this trick, absolutely love the attention they get from various random men on social media apps and the moment their actual relationship is questioned upon their erratic behaviour, they’ve already lined up the next man immediately (rebound) and the one trying to save the relationship is left twiddling their thumbs thinking wtf happened. This article is nothing but BS.

    • Look into Narcissism my friend! I always thought that in order to be a narcissists you had to be all egotistical and stuff. But, that’s actually not completely true! They do, however, need to constantly feel in the limelight, they do need to be constantly fed attention – and not just by you, no, that’s not enough! They also have erratic behavior, won’t apologize for anything – even if you have proof, she will make you look like the dumbass lol. I read a lot about metal sickness when I was with my ex. Narcissism, bi polar-ism, gas lighting, etc. Amazing the things you can learn online. :o)

  • Bob

    OK folks. I am a jealous man. But I am also very scientific in my approach to life. So I asked, if jealousy really isn’t a big deal, or if it’s being made into a bigger deal than it is then why does it seem that so many women seemed to get turned off by it? It seem to me then that maybe the negative perception of jealousy arises from biological processes rather that cultural. So what’s behind this biology? It took a while to figure it out then it dawned on me. The answer is, when you get jealous of another guy, you are unconsciously sending a signal to your woman that you are of lower status than him. This does two things. It makes you appear weak and therefore less attractive and it sparks curiosity in your woman to want to know more about the guy you are jealous of. In other words when you get jealous, you are actually helping the other guy to attract your woman. So the trick is to not get jealous. To take it further, the trick is to display higher status traits when he is around u and your girl.

    • PurpleTrouble

      YES BOB! This is EXACTLY what I needed! I know this is an 8 month old post but I have been struggling with this for awhile now, and hearing this has made me a stronger man now. I can not thank you enough, my good friend.

    • HEYYY

      I should have seen your article earlier.
      Your explanation is really clear!
      My relation is getting worse, the exact what you mentioned because of being jealous.
      Life is tough!
      Hope it’s going to be better next time.

  • Cole Elizabeth

    Are you having problems with your lover ? Depressed?I have been in same situation with the father of my kids and was worried when he was seeing another lady outside our wedlock. With my depression and anger, i went online to search for solutions when i stormed across a testimony regarding my own problems at home, i contacted this great man, who confined and guaranteed me that i will be reunited with my husband with 48hrs of his prayer section, Behold, My husband came home after 2days, apologizing to me and the kids for his negligence and uncaring attitude towards us, He has been the perfect man i have married 15years ago, he has an unending love for his family and i have been his pet and major priority everyday. Do contact this great prophet today for solution to your problems Via : spirituallove @ hotmail.com

  • Ethan Jarvis

    Im 14 and my gf has had her “brother” (best guy friend) over at her house twice because he didnt have a ride to the dance but in my opinion he could have rode with any other guy but anyways she wont let me fight him and he is constantly doing something to make me mad i have always hated him his name is dawson but her best friend (kylie, my ex and also one of my best friends because she gives awesome advice) was at her house at the same time but dawson was in taryns (my gf) room with kylie and taryns mom kerry dont trust me and taryn together like anywhere but she trusted dawson idk if im intimidated by dawson or i just dont like him and i dont know what to do can i have some advice and i dont want to break up with her because we have been dating for over a year

    • Joe

      walk away bro. your post was two months ago, I’m sure you probably kept hoping it would change. Things don’t. Tell the girl you appreciate the time she spent with you but this does not feel right. Set the tone early in your life of what you will accept and not accept. Guys will always want to talk to pretty girls, its up to the girl on whether or not she will draw the line. Focus on school, your hobbies and know you will be fine by yourself until the next girl comes around. The power lies in the person willing to walk away.

  • I am sure these articles are for guys (mainly). But, I am a girl and my girlfriend used to ALWAYS purposely make me jealous. Then she would get mad later on down the line when I would always be suspicious. Its like uh hello. Can’t have it both ways. Also, chances are if your gf is trying to make YOU jealous, its not necessarily about you. Don’t get me wrong, I am sure some guys will read this and think, hm, maybe I should spend more quality time with her (because she is seeking attention). But, in many cases its HER issue, not yours. That’s what I learned anyway. I am a very good gf. And yet! Some people are unfortunately just either assholes or they have mental issues that results in making you jealous. On purpose. Now if it’s just you, then hey, its just you lol.

    Guys it should also be noted that if she is talking to other guys, that yes, sometimes its innocent…. other times its not. Its important that you know the difference. I love the “don’t you trust me” line, that girls give. Most regular normal human beings know that when you are in a relationship with someone or married even, that there are unspoken rules. If she breaks those rules, like guy LG said below (she was sexting people), do yourself a favor? Look in the mirror and realize you deserve better.

    That’s what I did.

    Now we’re exes. LOL.

    • Annabanana

      Purposely making someone jealous is fucked up.

  • vince vega

    im seventeen yrs old during my junior year i was fucking up smoking weed or whatever and not focusing on my school which led my mom to switch me to night school where i saw a girl i havent seen since freshman year a long time ago and after hearing her name from the teacher cus i had forgot it i searched her on facebook and added her messaged her and we started talking the first couple months of the relationship were great we were being all cute and lovy dovy kissing all that i loved her shes beautiful too the only things we would ” fight” about would be stupid things like u dont care about me blah blah i never used to be suspicious of her not one bit its been id like to say 8 months so far and in these past 2 or 3 months her ” BESTIE” appeared out of the fucking blue she texts him all the tine now everyday my jealousy reached a fuckin all time high. i must mention that she cant go out only if her parents trust or like the friend well hes liked and he comes over which is funny because i cant see for shit but bestie can and the relationship has been destroyed by my jealousy she says hes just a friend and she really did love me but i couldnt get the fact that that motherfucker was at my girls house with her weell long story short the relationship has been nothing but fighting breakup threats and now jus barely now she hates me because she tried to kiss me and i “pushed” her away physically and emotionally she says its been hell and she still talks to her bestie everyday and to me its like shes forced she takes hours to reply now she doesnt care and i feel like its more of my fault in a way …….Should i end it and move on or is there still hope to rekindle go back to how things were in the beginning. 🙁

    • Javk Leahy

      Go read the game, no dout that ass Yoused those tactics on her and forced you out,happened to me about 10 years ago me personally I would have kicked the shit out him and no given a fuck what she thought of it, and told her it’s him or me, I also would have told him if he goes near her again or tells her about this I’ll deni it and next time I’ll put him in hospital, but sounds like he has already won mate, I’d still find some way to make his life shit, or if your not a fan of the violent tactic, then maybe be more sneaky about it and find ways that you can make him look like an ass, plenty of different ways to ruin his great rep with your girl be tactical if you really want her

      • vince vega

        Whats up Bro thanks for the advice but the relationship has been over for a great while now lol i realized she had put herself on a pedastool along with her so called best friend so after completely kissing ass to her during the end she got mad over the littlest thing and told me it was over which i simply replied ok and she came crying the next couple days so i had to cut her off completely from everything because she was simply playing games and she was Not worth it oh and believe me bro i would have beat the fuck out of him but nah not for her. Take care my dude.

  • Black

    I thought someone is here to ease the pains not to add to one, i don’t think it’s envy that sprang up such aggressive behavior from seeing your girlfriend so happy with another guy than you or seeing your boyfriend happy with another girl than he is with you. That makes Make someone jealous naturally, but it’s confusing that you guys take it to be something abnormal which is not,

    If your girlfriend wants to know how intense your love for is, and she got engaged in a conversation with another right before your eyes and she looked back and you are looking happy with your self alone or with another girl she will got pissed and want out she will believe you don’t love or cherish her nor even have a feeling for her one bit cos you are supposed to be feeling hurt and such expression will be written all over your face.. Same goes

    Jealousy is one natural prove of genuine love n feelings for someone, biblically speaking the Bible said thou shalt not worship any other gods besides me, and he goes further to say and i quote ” I am a jealous God ”
    We can tend to control it, but any act of trying to kill it will kill and ruin that true feelings we have someone,,

    I am currently in love with a girl who I know is on a date with another guy, i never knew she will let me into her life, but the moment i tried getting into her life she did without stressing me out, i became madly in love with her, that i can’t let her out my sight for a second and she is feeling the same for me, and the other guy her former date was like old fashion, she showed me some kind of love i have never felt before, i went crazy and she got crazy about me too, just last night her former date called her before me, and she told me what will she do i ask her to take the call at the end she told me the guy invited him over, my strength starts to fade, I was in her apartment, i was like burning inside, my heart was like failing, I couldn’t monster the courage to bear the pains in my heart she noticed it on my face as i couldn’t fake to be OK and she starts to cuddle me, OH God… I went home after dropping her off, exhausted and sleeped on… My waking up this morning i saw her message on what’s app by 7:30 am but i was off, but right now I am learning how to coup with this new feelings Co i thought I will never fall so deep in love with her, as to get this jealous..

    There are two solutions to get destructive by flooding my life like a whore or a dog on other ladies i have been staying away from including my own girlfriend before she came in, which i know she can’t stand the pains.. Or leave her for another which will break my heart..

  • Ado

    I have question I am using imvu imvu is chat game with avatar I am there now 6 years I have been so many times hurt for what for nothing i am really good person in heart and soul and i never wouldn’t done nothing to hurt the lady who i love truly I have told her many times that she is the best what was happend in to my life We know’s each other 2 years now but the problems was happend yesterday like I was been woke up at 2h pm when she was woke up at 10 h am and we did come at same time as at skype and on imvu i have been message to her and she wasn’t not replay to me after that i was wrote to her at imvu message and she wasn’t not answer me at all at message why is like that i dont have idea Then after all when i have been in her public room she was message me like get out from my room pls then she come in her room she was been poof from her room and she was been come again she was saying to me like i want to show my friend my room i was ok and after that she saying to me like i am jelous and that i no need to be in her room i tought ok that is her friend when i have been look at her rooms she was been lock her rooms then she was been open her public room and that room is strip club i have seen her and i seen her friend who is male And that was been make me so hurted that was been gived me big pain becuase she doesn’t not want to tell me the truth what is goin on and what is up when i told to her how i feel she saying like i am police i am control her where she is and what she doing but that is not the truth at alll after two days we was been inour room we was been talking on skype til all that happend So i asking for advice what should i do at what way to talk to her so she would understand me

  • Eloy89

    I’m trying to date someone, who I’ve known for a year. We’ve been having feelings for each other for a while, but one day she went to a concert (which she originally asked if I was interested in, but didn’t get around to responding in time) with some friends of hers (Who she made the plans with afterwards, and bought the tickets two weeks before the event), and ever since then, she started talking to this one guy. What caught my attention one evening, was that she went straight home but I caught her messaging him asking if they want to video, a month later (same guy), I saw a heart emoji in their conversation. I can never confront her, because her best friend (a mutual one for us) is almost always around. She looks through my phone because I allow it, but now I’m going to tell her to show me her phone, if she wants to see mine (We only look at each others WhatsApp messages), if she refuses, I’m walking.

    • Javk Leahy

      Your in the friend zone guy, unlucky mate move in from that one, or if you think she is nice stay friends with her. But look for something else

  • ROB

    I’ll tell you my story ,Me n my girl are working in the same office (11 month relationship) & we didn’t disclose our relationship in office due to personal reasons & one thing i would like to mention is that she is the most beautiful girl i have ever seen in my life ,initially it was going good, then i went on official tour ,then at my back guys started flirting with her & to be frank my girl also enjoyed flirting with that one particular guy , he used to drop her home on bike & she enjoy bike riding, when i came back i got to know about it , now she don’t talk to that guy in front of me ,coz she dont like me commenting anything about how sweetly she talks to him , I have told many time that please stop talking to that guy or at least tell him about our relationship & she has her own reason for not telling/disclosing then i got irritated & verbally abused her & accused her that she is sleeping with him & she is a prostitute what not , she cried a lot , Now i dont know what to do , i know she is honest & im feeling bad also on my part ,now there is no scope of sorry in our relationship, i guess she has moved on there is no scope for talking also, but i still want her in my life coz she has made me what im today , i seriously dont want to lose her , i keep missing her a lot , should i move on ?