Jealousy makes is hard for any relationship. It’s a feeling that is sometimes very difficult to avoid. Nevertheless, it is worth making an effort to control it because it can become an obsession.
Jealousy usually exists when we feel that somebody is superior to us. When we see our girlfriend talking with another guy, it can be hard to not get jealous. We subconsciously compare ourselves with the other man who is approaching our woman.
If we feel less attractive than him at any point or just annoyed by him, then we can get jealous. Usually, it isn’t an indicator of the truth or the health of our relationship, but more often with our low self-esteem.
In a relationship, this is especially dangerous because it reveals a lack of trust and can lead to fights. You don’t want to be a controlling the partner.
If the relationship is dominated by insecurity and irrational suspicions, it is usually started down a slippery slope to break up. Jealousy is not congenital. It is a behavioral pattern we acquire. It’s definitely worth it to control these feelings for the sake of any relationship and our own state of minds.
1. It’s only in your head
If you have low self-esteem and you see your partner smiling and chatting with someone else, you might start to project things on their interactions that simply don’t exist.
Your jealousy can influence what you see. If your girlfriend is pretty, guys will want to talk to her. You cannot hide her in a cage. Is she only having a polite conversation with other guys without touching them, flipping her hair, or making eyes at them? Don’t panic and don’t try to see sexual tension where it is not.
Even if your girlfriend wants to talk to another man, it doesn’t mean that she doesn’t love you. Women want to know that they are attractive to other men. If they approach her, even with romantic intentions, it doesn’t mean that she will cheat on you with another guy. Do you have a low opinion on her? Do you really think that you are not enough for her? I don’t think so! Relax and play it cool.
2. Take responsibility
Let’s make it clear: Unjustified jealousy is your problem, not your partner’s. Don’t make it a problem for both of you. You cannot control the whole world and every single move of the people you love. You are even less able to control other people approaching your girlfriend. If you feel that your envy is sometimes irrational, it probably is. Then it is time to focus on your feelings and not on your partner’s actions.
3. Understand your feelings
Try to kind of observe your own feelings like you would another person’s., When you know what you feel, keep an objective distance. Fear is usually the source of the majority of our negative emotions. If you truly love her, then there is no place for fear.
Look objectively if your partner is doing something wrong. Don’t try to own a person. These types of feelings come from insecurity, not from love. Give your girlfriend freedom and don’t manipulate her.
4. Accept your feelings
We’re not robots, but as human beings, we have to deal not only with positive feelings but with the unwanted ones too. If there are suspicions, jealousy, or fears, we start to feel something unpleasant or embarrassed by our own behaviors.
Checking somebody’s phone, stalking them on Facebook, writing pathetic or painful comments – is this the type of behavior you want? Accept that sometimes you feel a bit jealous when some nice guy is talking to your girlfriend. Don’t make a problem of it. Focus on you. Keep yourself busy, but also talk to someone. I’m sure the girl will be back in a few minutes when she will see you talking with some other girl!
5. Be honest to yourself
Make a list of values you are bringing to the relationship. Ask yourself honestly if you would like to be with someone like you? Are you a valuable partner? If you would keep the answers honest you will see your self esteem. If it’s low this is a crucial thing to work on. You don’t feel you are handsome enough?
So don’t be jealous of a more attractive man and just do more sports, go on diet ect. You thing that other guys have more to say than you? So start doing something interesting! Find a hobby and follow your passions. Do whatever is needed to think of you as an attractive person everyone would love to be.