What To Do When a Girl Doesn’t Text Back

What To Do When a Girl Doesn't Text Back

You approach a nice girl and begin a conversation. You spend 30 or 40 minutes talking to her the first time. She was charming, pretty, and exactly your type. It goes well, so you ask for her number. She doesn’t write back. Or she responds back quickly and then, after a few more short texts, she never texts you again. Maybe you are wondering why? Ok, maybe she’s busy. So you wait a bit and the waiting gets longer and longer. After a few days, you realize she’s ignoring you. Why hasn’t she responded to your text?

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Why doesn’t she text back?

In a majority of cases, the reason why she hasn’t texted you back is because you didn’t make a good first impression. Of course, it’s also possible that she lost her phone while rescuing a child from a burning home or something like that, but let’s focus on making a good first impression. To avoid her not responding to you, remember to:

Make a good impression when getting her number

She probably won’t have enough time to get to know you well enough just from your conversation, so the impression you make with your presence is very important. Be friendly, polite, and not too pushy when you ask her for her number. She has to know that you intend to meet up with her again. If she doesn’t show any initial interest, you know that trying to contact her later will be a waste of time.

State your intentions directly. For example: It was nice meeting you, I really liked our little chat. I’ve got to go, but this Saturday I’ll text you and we can go to the movies or this great new Indian restaurant. What do you think? This way when you ask her for her number, you are clearly showing your intentions to meet her again.

Girls that are interested in you will be happy to give you their numbers. If a girl hesitates or refuses, just move on. There is always a risk that the girl is just being polite and sociable. Notice if she is smiling and laughing or just chatting with you like she has nothing better to do. Contacting girls who seem interested in you isn’t a waste of time. There is a good chance that texting them will go well.

Make sure you text her at the right time

A lot of girls have an “I don’t want to be considered easy” attitude. It’s almost guaranteed that after meeting up for the first time the girl is waiting for you to text her. But when exactly is the right time?

If you took her number, you showed her your interest. If she gave you her number, there’s a great chance that she is interested in you as well. But at this stage nothing is sure! So play it cool. As a man, you have the advantage of choosing the right time to text her. The girl’s role in this whole love game is giving you her number and waiting for you to contact her. Make this advantage work in your favor!

Girls like to feel desired and pursued. Don’t text her too early. If you just met her a few hours ago, keep yourself busy and don’t text her right away. It depends on the situation, but a good rule of thumb is to wait at least 24-hours to text her. You made a great impression on her. You were polite. You asked for her number and now you are ready to text. That’s exactly how it should go, but let her wait a bit and she will begin waiting for your text in anticipation. Let some insecurity grow in her head. Men and women don’t like to feel that someone has ensnared them. She gave you her number, so she’s partially hooked. Keep it this way and don’t make any sudden moves. If you met her on Friday night, text her no sooner than Saturday night! You like her, but you are busy, popular guy, right? That’s what she should think.

Don’t wait too long to text her either. Make sure that your first text is no later than 3 days after your first meeting. She should feel that you are thinking about her. Don’t give her the impression that you are texting her just because you have nothing better to do.

still waiting

What to include in a first message

The first few messages are crucial for making a good impression. You can completely screw it up if she is still deciding whether she likes you or not. When you text her for the first time, keep it friendly. Refer to something that you talked about in a previous conversation. For example, if she said she was going shopping the next day and that her cousin was visiting, use this information to show her that you were paying attention. But always keep it casual and polite. For example: “Hi, how are you? Did you enjoy hanging out with your cousin today?”

Ask her questions and avoid texts that don’t lead anywhere. At first she will return your texts, but if they don’t keep her engaged she might stop. Remain calm in this situation. You’re going to be fine. It’s always nice having a great conversation via text, but the point of texting or just communication in general is getting into her REAL LIFE.

Make it clear that you want to hang out in your text messages. Girls get bored when the conversation doesn’t lead anywhere besides “LOL” or “hehe”. It just seems pathetic and that you are another uninteresting guy. After a few texts, it’s crucial to setup a time and place to go on a date with her. Be sure to include the place and activity you have planned out.

– You said you were free Friday, so let’s take it easy for a bit and go to this new bar/restaurant/movie theater/coffee place, I wanted to try it out.

If she says she isn’t sure, convince her by saying it’s always easier getting to know someone in person. Make it clear that you want to see her face to face. If you don’t have time to meet up with her today or tomorrow say:

– How about going out to dinner sometime soon? Which day works best for you?

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She may not respond immediately, but she should respond by the following day. Wait patiently. Don’t show her that you are too invested in her at first. Beautiful women chase men too, even if they don’t admit it. They don’t like to feel like your too interested in the beginning. If you really like her and she doesn’t call or text back within the next few days, call her or send a message.

Persistence via text or phone can make wonders…

Remember it’s important to remain cool, and text in a laid-back way. Don’t fall into the same traps that most men do; being needy, full of complaints, or pissed off at a girl for not replying; you’ll be sure of not getting a reply!

Of course it may seem impolite that she hasn’t responded, but remember to her you’re a stranger! She doesn’t know that much about you so there isn’t any point in getting pissed off. It will scare her off for sure.

Being sad and needy is even worse. You want to be seen as an attractive, popular guy, so wait a few days before texting her, and don’t write anything like “I just want to talk to you, blah blah blah”. Manliness is what girls find most attractive and being needy is not very appealing. Try being nonchalant and treat her like anyone else. Because that’s exactly what she is! It isn’t the first number you’ve ever gotten, so if she doesn’t respond, it’s her loss.

After a few days try again without caring too much about it.

Text her and in a nonchalant say:

Lisa, I figured I’d see what you were up to since we haven’t been in touch lately. I just got back from a nice weekend in the city and am back to working hard. Hope you’re doing well… let me know what’s up with you! – Thomas” Treat the situation carefully like you were just reconnecting after being busy with your own things.

Sometime she will reply, sometimes she won’t.

Some girls don’t have a lot of time to text. In this case make it a rule of thumb to respond in the following ways:
She doesn’t reply after one day- give her another day to respond.
She doesn’t reply after two texts or a of couple days- give her a few more days to respond.
And so on, and so on…

What To Do When a Girl Doesn't Text Back

If she really never responds:

There could be a few explanations for this. Maybe she’s taking a while because she’s shy. In fact, she could really like you and just wants to make sure things go well. However, there’s always a chance that she’s just not that into you. It can happen to anyone, so don’t take it personally! Don’t give up on girls. Take a risk next time and make it apparent that meeting in person is better than just merely texting.

Checkout this system if you need a step-by-step guidance on how to get her back, even if she didn’t reply to any of your texts!

About the author Sarah Williams

Sarah Williams is an avid blogger who specializes in dating advice. Her interests include gender relations and the underlying mechanisms that drive human interactions. You can check out her thoughts on men, sex, dating and love at Wingman Magazine .