Let’s get one thing straight…
Girls are sexual creatures. Girls love sex. Girls think about sex, maybe even more than you do. Girls, women, whatever you want to refer to the fairer sex as – they are not these pure, chastised creatures many in the media make them out to be.
I hope you already knew this, but I had to make sure we are on the same page. And since you already know this, you should also know that every girl enjoys a bit of sexting from time to time. Especially while she’s ovulating. It’s biology 😉
Women are also predominantly very soft, sensitive creatures who needs lots of RESPECT. Before we talk how to playfully text with a woman and share some ready to use sexting examples, we want to discuss the
Top 7 Sexting Mistakes Men Are Making
David Steele, a modern-day pioneer of romantic relationships, holds expertise in all aspects of relationships and marriages. David believes that sex and intimacy are vital pivots holding together your bond with your partner and most importantly, it enchants your bond with a color. How to talk dirty to a girl over text? David urges men to increase their knowledge and be smart and sensible when it comes to spicing things up with their women.
The following advice is inspired by David’s expertise in the area of sex, relationships, love, and intimacy. It is good information that can score you romance points if you already are not:
1. Not scoring the ground
The number one rule is to test the ground. Unless you and your girl are experts in this sexting thing, do not suddenly drop the bomb with a very high pitch phrase, as you may not find the desired answer.
Start with some hint and some sexy phrase of the style:
“I can’t wait to see you and do with you all these things that are going on in my mind.”
From there, act in line with your response. If it gives you some ground to continue the game till the freeway!
This way you’ll increase the excitement gradually and warrant that you turn to when you see are not going to be an uncomfortable situation but something more natural.
2. Sexting after the first date
Along the same lines of things that can be very uncomfortable, people find themselves engaged in this type of conversation after a first date. Obviously, you both have to set the limits in that new relationship, but this type of talk that can be left on your mobile for posterity (not to mention the photos), should only be had with people with whom you have total confidence.
So you know, keep your fingers away from the phone and wait a bit. The good is always waiting. And it is always better to do sexting once you have had physical relationships than before because when we let the imagination fly, we can leave expectations too high and then not meet in the real plane.
3. Not letting yourself go
If you are going to do something, do it well? Do not go straight to the point, because with sexting that does not work. Here, the key is in the details and in saying absolutely everything that comes to your mind in total detail.
It is about describing every moment that you would like to materialize with your partner, in the most erotic and graphic way possible. Of course, focus especially on saying things that you would really like to do with her. It’s also about heating the environment!
4. Doing it when you’re drunk
When you write messages full of misspellings, with little meaning or too graphic for no apparent reason, they may not have the spicy effect you are expecting them to have. Trust us.
If you go out one night and you start to feel like doing certain things with her, keep your cell phone away. Or at least feel the ground. She may also start liking you and so you make sure you finish the night perfectly… Even if you are married to your partner, there is no rule barring you to do sexting with her. In fact, there’s an interesting research which backs up the idea of sexting among married couples and brands it totally normal.
5. Not using your imagination
If you are not comfortable sending photos of yourself (let’s face it, it can be too risky), you can do something a little more subtle but that will also get a very hot result.
We refer, for example, to send photos of a sexy set that you have, a toy, a lipstick … Or, if you dare, a snapshot of your mouth or your legs. Remember that the key is in the details and in leaving something for the imagination.
6. Being afraid to make mistakes
If something wonderful in sexting is that you can be without makeup, in pyjamas or eating some potatoes. And the truth is that whatever you say, how you are or what you are wearing, does not have to be 100% accurate… No one will notice the difference! Although, it is also true, that if you are predisposed, surely you enjoy much more and make her enjoy it more.
7. Not telling her your fantasies
Although sexting can be a way of having fun, it can improve your sex life. People are not afraid to say what we think or what we feel if we don’t have the other person present before us, so it can be the perfect opportunity to tell you your fantasies without having to see how you blush.
It is possible that he is also excited to do these things but that neither of them has dared to raise it, so start with: “Imagine what you do…” or “Imagine what I do to you…” and give free rein to your imagination. Remember to put it into practice when you are together!
8. Doing THIS
Certain mistakes men tend to commit while sexting and consequently, it can be a major turn off. Problem with 21st-century men is that they are not being assertive. They are either too aggressive or passive, which can put off a woman real quick. And then there are man-child. Your immaturity and immaturity will definitely reflect in the manner you sext.
Avoid using the eggplant emoji. That is surely not the way you should describe your junk. At the same time, do not really exaggerate. Girls find it awful when a guy cannot shut up about his size and girth. You need wordplay to make everything work. Not the technicalities. It only appears to be patriarchial and boring as every girl’s inbox is flooded with a ton of guys boasting about their organs. So, adopt mannerism and be cultured in your interaction.
…so, what really gets a woman turned on?
Eloquence. Your knowledge about female sexuality. Did you know, according to a study, majority of male population cannot locate the clitoris? Entice a woman about your knowledge regarding female sexuality.
Talk about going down on her. Patriarchial society instigates ideas against female oral sex. If you write her paragraphs and excite her about rattling her clit gently with the tip of your tongue, she is absolutely going to lose it! Additionally, do not make snarky comments about vaginas. Embrace them. Show confidence in your words while you embrace them. Do not hit her insecurities. Say no to fish smell.
When a woman finds a man taking interest in giving her utmost pleasure, she cannot resist but yield to it. Many women are programmed and assume that the entire course of action is them pleasing a man, but if you shift roles here and give her a notion that it is SHE who gets to have it all high and steamy, she is going to be absolutely blown and wanting you to put your words into life.
Why You’re Getting No Sexts
If you’re reading this article and thinking, “Hmmm, I wonder why I never get any sexts from girls?” then you’ve come to the right place. You’re not getting any sexts because you’re probably doing one of a few things wrong.
Problem 1: Attraction Type
You may not be creating enough attraction. Not the “oh he’s cute and maybe I’ll let him take me on a few dates” type of attraction. I’m talking the “ohhhh shit! Why am I following this stranger into his apartment” type of sexual attraction.
If she’s not sexually into you, you probably won’t be getting any sexts, naked pictures or dirty talking from her. You have to arouse her in order to get dirty texts and photos from a girl. You can’t just attract her. She has to actively think about your cock deep inside her before she’ll actively engage you in sexting. And clearly, this is easier after you’ve slept with a girl…
Problem 2: No Sex For You
You may not be getting laid enough. It’s always easier to get naked pictures and dirty texts from girls you’ve slept with before. You’ll always be playing an uphill battle if you’re trying to get things heated up before sleeping with her. It’s possible, but a bit more difficult.
Problem 3: Tactless Thirsty Dudes
You don’t know If you want to how to properly talk dirty with her. You go from “0 to 100” way too quickly. Instead of preheating the oven, you’re way too hungry (or thirsty). You throw it in on broil and then forget the oven miss when you try to take it out. You have no patience or tact.
Women love men of action. They love men who go after what they want, but only if done in the proper manner. Always be a gentleman. You shouldn’t ever come off as a brazen or rude social retard with no filter.
For example, this is an awful text to send to a girl:
“Nice meeting you last night, can’t wait to f**k you sideways later this week”
There is no banter. There is no flirting. There is no sizzle. You seem thirsty. This girl will lose the attraction she had for you if any at all. She will think you think she is a slut and ignore you.
How To Talk Dirty To Girls Over Text (and hopefully get some sexy shots)
WARNING: The following sexting examples are quite direct, and we don’t want to come across as offensive. We believe that a man should strive to be as much gentleman like as possible and treat every woman with respect and admiration. But when it comes to the bedroom, honestly, isn’t all about getting dirty?
Here you go:
Be Playful & Tactful, But Slow Down Until You Know Her
Now we talked about being thirsty and using tact to get her warmed up. You can throw all that out the window once you know a girl. Everything is situational and once you know a girl, you can get away with a lot more than with a girl you don’t know too well.
There is a fine line with slowly done thought. You don’t want to come off as a normal dweeb type of guy. You still want to be the exciting type of man she’ll text. Thus, you have to really be tactful, but playful at the same time.
For example, with a girl you had just met last night or the other day, you could start a conversation off sexually with something like this:
“Good to meet you last night… that sexy little bum of your is running through my mind… getting no work done today, you’re a terrible influence on me!”
This example is playful and she’ll enjoy the flirt. You’ll also definitely tell her you’re a sexual man, not some nice, boring dude – the type of guy she’s probably bored with.
However, if you already know a girl and had sex with her, you can really start things quickly. This is a good example of a quick conversation with a girl you already have been intimate with:
You: “Hmmm it’s Thursday evening, I’m off work and I’m so horny when I think about you…what should I do?”
Her: “Get some ice?”
You: “Silly girl, that’s naughty. You weren’t blessed with hips like that for nothing… get the nice underwear, some red lipstick and get over here now!”
This girl is going to come over and spend a lovely evening ass naked with you, as long as she doesn’t have any too pressing plans. You were brash but humorous. You made her feel sexy and kind of dominated. You didn’t come off as a creep. This is how you dirty text.
Start From the Beginning
Now, the best way to start a dirty texting conversation is to start from the beginning. However, you can’t be a tactless creep in doing so. You can start a conversation with a somewhat sexual vibe. This is because many guys avoid being playful and sexual almost entirely.
Start with the light naughty stuff and keep going from the very first text. Then always try and turn things into a sexual innuendo, even if it’s a corny one. You don’t have to be talking about bending her over a desk in the dean’s office to arouse her.
Her: “Hey you, how’s your day going?”
You: “Oh hey gingersnap… a little boring to be honest. Need some excitement today…”
Her:“Really? What kind of excitement :)”
You: “Idk, maybe a submissive maid who’s does everything I ask…”
Keep the vibe fun and flirty from here. You can continue sexting or you can push for a meetup.
You May Offend Her
You will eventually offend her. Or one of your “hers” will get offended. You will be dirty texting and she will get upset. This is fine. Just don’t be a huge bitch and begin apologizing in a needy manner. Take a chill pill and play things cool. She may just be testing you.
However, you need to give a small apology. One way to do so:
Her: “that was really rude”
You: “Ahhhh I didn’t hurt your feelings too bad did I? Ugghhh fine, you get one spank and that’s it…”
You accept and acknowledge she is upset, but you don’t bow down to her will. She still respects you and you’ve maintained her attraction.
Diving Deep – Dirty Texting For Experts
If you’re a virgin and want to stay that way, you won’t want to continue reading this. However, if you’re ready to take your sexting to the next level – read on.
Here are a few more expert dirty texting tips:
Running The Questions Game Over Text
You should already be running “the questions game” on almost every first date. It’s the easiest way to dive into deeper subjects and take a conversation sexual. Girls love that shit.
It’s also an easy way to take a texting conversation to a sexting conversation. Here’s the exact framework you should use:
You: “so wanna play a game”
Her: “Umm sure”
You: “Cool questions game. 3 questions each, but you have to answer honestly. No lies or BS. You can’t repeat the question someone else already asked”
Her: “Hah ok but you ask first”
You: “I’m a gentleman. Ladies always come first”
Now a majority of the time she’ll fight you on this. That’s fine. You can argue a bit back and forth. She may ask first or she may “make” you.
If she asks first, answer all her questions honestly and give her feedback if they are boring. If they are sexual, you’re set. If she gives you boring ones (and is a reserved girl) and you answered, you then mirror her questions while adding a bit of edge. Once she answers, give feedback and then go round two. She may begin to sexualize or she may not.
How to Talk Dirty to a Girl Over Text After Her Initial Reply
When you get to you’re a second round, you do.
If she “makes” you ask first, you can turn it on her quickly:
You: “Well I was going to play nice, but since you’re being so stubborn…”
Don’t wait for her response:
You: “1. How many men have put their rocket into your she pocket?”
You: “2. Do you like being dominated in bed?
You: “3. What’s the one sexual thing you’ve always wanted to try but never had the nerve to do?”
These are the money questions. You have to get to these in the game. They are what matters. So – no matter if she goes first, you go first, the vibe isn’t sexual…
You have to get to these. She may be bashful, but she’ll answer. Jokingly call her out on anything that doesn’t sound true. Spitball a bit on her answers, then say
You: “Your turn”
She’ll ask you at least one or two sexual questions, usually all three. Answer honestly, but give warning to her if anything is “too” weird or crazy before telling her (example: you’ve had 200 sexual partners).
Run one more round and ask two sexual questions based on her answers (example: What turns you on the most? How do you usually come?). Throw in a question based on her childhood as well. You want it to be sexual, but light. Something like:
You: Did you ever get to kiss you biggest crush in junior high?
She’ll answer. After two rounds, you should have enough items to text about. Let the questions game aspect of the sexting die out.
After getting her heating up, you can ask for nudes if you think the time is right.
Texting Her To Orgasm
You can use this after the questions game or in a different situation. If you’ve got a girl who is sexual from the jump, a girl you’ve slept with before or a girl with whom you’ve properly escalated the convo, you can casually offer to walk her through an orgasm.
Once she’s a bit hot and bothered, from some type of sexting you can say:
You: If you ask nicely, I may just let you have an orgasm.
Her: Umm not sure what you’re talking about, but sure
You: Say please and remove your pants.
Her: Ok and please
You: Good girl. Now imagine I’m there…
You: On top of you. I’ve pinned you down against the bed. I’m going to take you while you squirm and moan in pleasure. You feel a tingle between your legs as my hand touches you. I grab a fist full of your hair and pull you close before kissing you deeply. My fingers run through your hair as we kiss.
You: Then I grab you and through your hands behind your back and bend you over. SMACK. You feel my hand give your ass a firm smack. You whence as you moan. You feel a sting, but a good feeling too. I take my belt and tie your hands together.
Her: oh wow
You: you want more?
You: I shove your face into the pillow and pull my hand back to spank you again…this time hard. You yelp in pain, but the pillow muffles your moans. I tell you to shut up and take it like a good girl.
You: I flip you over and push you on you knees. I stand up and look you in the eye before making you suck my hard cock as I stand. You take my hard cock in your mouth as I forcefully grab your hair. I start to shove more of my cock in your mouth as you begin to gag.
Her: ahhh this is good
You get the idea guys. You just continue texting her dirty until she says she’s about to come. Then tell her you didn’t let her yet. After a few more sexts, you end one with:
You: “Cum. Now.”
The key is to warm her up before getting to deep, but tell her you’ll make her come. Once she’s warm, be very explicit and dominant in your texts. Then don’t let her come until after the climax of your sexual story. That’s when you use the final text.
Feel free to ask for nude photos, especially if she came.
Asking For Photos The Right Way
Some girls will just send you photos out of the blue. Some girls will never send photos. Some girls will only send photos to guys they’ve had sex with. Some girls will spam photos to everybody.
If you’ve heated her up through text, you are in a position to ask for photos. Once she’s heated, you can get away with just about anything as long as you don’t send “nudes” or something lame like that.
However, maybe you’ve had sex with a girl, but haven’t been sexting much. You want to get nude photos of her, but may not have the time to invest in a bunch of sexting. Plus, she’s not the type to just send nudes for no reason or out of the blue.
The next time you shag her, give it to her good a couple of times and be rough with her. Make sure you finish a bit sweaty and out of breath. As you finish, you’ll want to roll over and tap your chest. She’ll move her head on your chest and you’ll snuggle a bit.
Give her a light kiss on the forehead and slowly regain your breath. Then compliment whatever part of her body you want photos of, but say it in an exasperated way:
You: “God, you have a nice fucking ass.”
You: “Fuck, your tits are perfect.”
You then slap her ass and grab her tit. Gently. You don’t want to interrupt the postcoital snuggles.
And remember – the compliment has to be genuine.
She won’t forget it, especially if you fucked her right.
Now, you may find she sends you a photo of her ass and/or tits within a week of this happening (again, depending on how well you fucked her). If she doesn’t, you have set yourself up to ask for a nude.
Start a conversation. It can be normal, but make sure things are a bit playful. Then bring it up:
You: “For some reason that bum of just yours won’t leave my mind. It’s fucking tormenting me. I can’t sleep. I can’t eat ;)”
Her: “Haha that’s not my fault. You’re the naughty boy ;)”
You: Ahh well I can’t deny that, but I do know a pic or three of that bum may help with the whole eating and sleeping”
She may not send them right away, but she will eventually. Just because you asked nicely.
Final Note On Diving Deep Into Sexting
One key item to remember: if you’ve gotten to this point in the conversation with a girl, you can and often should, stack these dirty texting tips. For example, you can start by running the questions game to sexualize the conversation. Then offer to walk her through an orgasm. Once she’s finished, you could request a few nude photos as a thank you.
Want to know more about talking dirty? Read the Ultimate Guide To Master Seductive Texting.