When was the last time you called a girl to setup a date? 2003?
Whether we like it or not, technology has changed the modern dating game. Texts are the new phone calls and Tinder is the new local coffee shop. Now here’s the thing, I’m not going to share my thoughts or opinions on how good or bad these changes are. Instead I’m just going to help you adapt to them.
So today I’d like to share a few simple tips on how I go about making a girl like me over text.
1. Never ever be boring
If there’s one cardinal rule that you must follow when texting a girl that you like, it’s to never be boring.
You see, modern-day existence can be tedious. We’re all paying bills, working 9-5 jobs and being bludgeoned to death by the monotony of everyday life. And the last thing any girl wants in the midst of all this is to be spending her precious free time responding to boring old texts from guys who don’t seem like they could inspire a nun to pray.
So the next time you’re about to send a girl a generic, boring old text like “Hey I hope your week is going well” or “Hey, what you up to?”, take a minute to put yourself in the girl’s shoes. Ask yourself if this kind of text that interests you, stirs your imagination or even makes you mildly curious. If the answer is no, go back to the drawing board.
At the end of the day, every text you send a girl should put a smile on her face and make her enthusiastic to talk to you.
2. Don’t be afraid to tease her
Here’s what most guys get wrong about attraction – they think that the key to getting a girl attracted to them is finding commonalities and shared interests.
Wrong. The key to attraction is in building tension. And the best way to build tension over a text message is by using a bit of playful teasing.
For example, if a girl disagrees with you about an opinion, you could reply with something like “God, I knew you’d be trouble from the moment I met you.”
Or if a girl says something particularly bratty, you could say something like “I don’t know who your last boyfriend was, but he clearly didn’t spank you enough.”
The point here isn’t to be mean or aggressive. The point is to show her that you’re more interested in having a fun, natural conversation with her than just getting her to like you.
3. Build comfort
One of the reasons that a lot of guys never get good at text game is because they start viewing texting as a very one-dimensional form of communication. They think that texting is all about funny one-liners, sexual innuendo and impersonal banter.
But here’s the thing; if you can show a girl that you can connect with her and have a real, human conversation with her over text, she’ll be so much more curious about eventually meeting you and spending time with you in real life.
A powerful trick that I personally like to use when texting a girl is to switch abruptly between banter and comfort.
For example, one minute I’ll be teasing a girl about being Vegan, but the very next minute I’ll tell her that I’m just messing with her and that I find it really cool that she has beliefs that she sticks up for.
4. Create sexual tension
I’ve had lots of guys who had a bit of “game” tell me that they always seem to be able to get girls interested and engaged over text…for a few days. After which the girls usually tend to fade away slowly.
More often than not, the reason for this is because these guys fail to create sexual tension at some point of the interaction.
They key to using texts to build sexual tension is to be playful and to leave room for misinterpretation.
You : You know what they say about guys with big feet right?
Her: Haha, what?
You: That they wear big shoes.
You: Get your mind out of the gutter 😉
5. Don’t forget your ultimate goal
At the end of the day, you should always remember that your ultimate goal with texting a girl is to get her attracted and comfortable enough with you to meet you in real life.
The mistake that a lot of guys make with this is that they assume that just because a girl is vibing with them over text that they can just drop in a casual request for coffee after work.
You see, for most girls the thought of a first date can induce a lot of anxiety. No matter how funny or suave the guy is over text, they never know when they could be stuck in a boring real-life conversation with a guy who only turns out to be witty behind a phone screen.
So the trick here is to word your initial meet up as less of a date and more of an adventure.
For example, instead of texting her saying,“Hey do you want to grab dinner sometime?”
Try something like:“Hey, would you like to get dressed up, hit a fancy restaurant, get drunk on a bottle of wine and make fools out of ourselves?”
6. Always calibrate
When it comes to texting, one of the most important concepts to understand is calibration.
For example, if a girl responds to you immediately when you text her, it’s OK to text back fairly soon.
But if a girl regularly takes long periods of time to get back to you, you too should go MIA now and then.
Or for example if a girl’s texts to you are long and descriptive, it’s OK for you to reply in kind.
But if a girl always gives you short, three word answers, you’re just going to come off desperate and needy by typing out long-ass paragraphs.
Some parting thoughts
Texting can sometimes be somewhat of an inconsistent method of gaming. This is because you can never sense what a girl’s current state of mind is just over a text. On any given day a girl could be sick, have had a shitty day at work or lost her puppy. The key is to ride the rough patches and always be patient. And if you ever come across a particularly difficult girl, always remember that there are plenty of other fish in the sea.