How To Get Out Of The Friend Zone In 6 Easy Steps

By Sarah Williams

Posted 4 years agoDATING

It starts as it always does. You meet a cute girl and start hanging out together. She likes talking with you, she is laughing at your jokes, and you think that she might be into you, but you’re too afraid to make a move. Time goes by and you’re still only friends. Finally, you decide that it’s now or never. You reveal your feelings. Then she delivers that oh-so-familiar line: “Let’s just be friends.”
how to get out of the friendzone

THE FEMALE POINT OF VIEW : The Mysterious Case Of Friend-Zone.

Ok, friendship is great, but is not what you want from this pretty girl you can’t stop thinking about! Unfortunately, this is not the first time this has happened. Sometimes you feel afraid to make a move because you already feel that you are already in the “Friend Zone.” How to get out of the friend zone and why are the girls you like always the ones that just want to be friends?

From my observations, I can say that there are 2 reasons why women friend-zone men:

FIRST SCENARIO. (Unfortunate but not hopeless): She’s Not Into You.

It’s nobody’s fault. Like men, women have their own preferences. Believe me, most of the times a woman’s idea of the ‘perfect man’ is surprising even to her closest friends!

You can be the cutest guy on earth, smart, funny, with a good-paying job, and even be extremely attractive to other women, but sometimes THAT GIRL IS JUST NOT INTO YOU. She might be flattered that you are flirting with her and she may even respond to your attention in a flirtatious way.

If she is flirting, but only wants to stay friends, she probably just enjoys male attention. If you are not completely her type, she probably won’t go and take your relationship to the “next level.” You might seem nice, intelligent, and funny to her, but are simply not attractive enough. Sounds tough, I know. Fortunately, there are some tricks I will share with you that can use to change her mind.

How To Get Out Of The Friend Zone

First, some examples: My best friend is a totally gorgeous girl. She’s intelligent, has an amazing smile and long legs. She really could have any guy! But she was friend-zoning almost every man who approached her. Sometimes there were really hot guys showing interest in her, but she still wasn’t interested in any of them. The reason was simple: she liked only dark-skinned, muscular guys.

Whenever cute guys with a different kind of look approached her, she would be friendly – she would flash her big smile and bat her eyelashes, but she never went beyond that. She wouldn’t compromise her tastes in a guy that didn’t match her type.

If you are physically or mentally the opposite of her type, – for example, you are a cute, but quite a short man and she happens to like tall ‘Viking type’ guys – I am sorry, it more than likely will not work out. If you are bartender and she is into guys that work in finance or at fancy consultancy firms, it will be very difficult to get this girl.

This could happen for any number of reasons: You are obviously a playboy and she likes decent, shy guys. You are an accountant but she is only interested in artsy types.. That doesn’t mean there aren’t any exceptions, but usually, if you are not her type, it will be changing her mind no matter what you do.

How To Get Out Of The Friend Zone

Perhaps you feel that this is not the case? Did she used to date guys similar to you, and could she be into you, but there is something you are always doing wrong?

SECOND SCENARIO. You are doing something wrong, which made her begin to think of you only as a friend.

If this is the case, then there is good news. It’s possible to change her mind and I am going to tell you how.

You can change her mind with these six easy steps:

1. Keep your cool and accept the situation

Don’t beg for her to give you a chance, EVER. She made a conscious decision to not be anything more than friends with you. You must play with the irrational, illogical side of her personality. You’ll do much better if you start putting less focus on her and more focus on you.

2. Focus on self-improvement

Nobody is perfect, so there is always a huge amount of room for improvement. It gives us hope as well, right? Start looking your best. Go to the gym and keep up a healthy diet. Also, don’t forget about the intellectual side of things. Try to be a hot and interesting person. If you feel more confident about yourself, she will probably notice it. Girls love self-confidence and after all, the special girl you want is just another girl.

3. Spend time with her doing regular things

No candles, dinner, watching sunset, listening to CD’s at your place, etc. Just invite her out to do “friendly” things with you. After all, this is exactly what she wanted, right? Go out and do the things you would do yourself anyway, like going out to buy new clothes and stuff like that. Shopping is actually a good idea for 2 reasons. She will be happy to help you and you will have a good opportunity to ‘accidentally’ show her some of your finely worked out body (see number 2.)

Every situation that leaves some space for physical contact that leaves her thinking about you are helpful in this situation. Always try to emphasize your sexuality, but in a very polite, seemingly unconscious way.

How To Get Out Of The Friend Zone

4. Hang out with other people and have fun

A little dose of jealousy never hurt anyone. It’s like fueling her fire with desire. Without a little portion of it, any relationship can get boring, so flirt with other women! A lot. You can be the perfect guy, but she can’t know that she ‘has’ you. Ever.

Even If you have revealed your feelings to her directly or you have made it obvious to her, you should try to attract other women too! You will become more valuable in the mind of the girl you actually want. A twinge of jealousy that comes from knowing other people find you attractive is priceless.

The old adage ‘never put all your eggs in one basket’ is very true, so take advantage of it. Start meeting other people. It will get her curious, but also help you get some practice flirting. The more women you meet, the better you become at playing the game and getting the girl you want.

5. Finally, the difficult part, which probably you are doing wrong: flirting

Never forget the importance of sexual attraction. Of course, it’s less significant of an issue for women than for men, but after all, we have certain needs. Start teasing her and giving her compliments, but avoid elaborate, sophisticated ones. For example, perfume is a safe subject. If she chooses to wear perfume, it means she liked the scent, so it’s safe. It’s also a very sensual compliment. Always avoid teasing or discussing her age or weight. It can only go wrong.

6. Use sensual tricks

Touch her from time to time. I don’t mean grab her ass. I’m talking about touching her arm casually. I know it’s difficult for shy people, but if you play it cool, almost as though it’s accidental, it can work. But always pay attention to how she responds and her body language. Moderation is the best solution for everything.

How To Get Out Of The Friend Zone

All in all, you have to be a great observer.

Pay attention to her and see if her attitude towards you has changed. If you see that she looks at you differently, touches you sometimes, starts flirting with you herself, notices that you work out, gets jealous when you are flirting with another woman, then these are all good signs! She will probably not make a move, so you must make it yourself. But she will give you hints to encourage you to kiss her or ask for a date.

The last resort: Leverage the friendship

If everything fails, accept the friendship with your crush. Try to banish your romantic feelings for her as much as you can and focus on being a good friend – and stand by your decision. That way you are “just” a friend by YOUR own choice, but by hers.

You might think “Why would I do that, I really want to be more than just friends with her”. If she absolutely doesn’t reciprocate your feelings, you just have to move on… and capitalize on the opportunity to hook up with one of her friends!

You are in the perfect position to pull that off because you have earned the trust and social proof of your crush. Getting to know one of her friends is a piece of cake from here. Just don’t end up in the friend zone again 😉

Take a free QUIZ – How deep are you stuck in the Friend zone

9 Ways To Make Your Dates Better and Avoid a Friendzone

You’re a sweet, smart, sensitive guy. I just don’t have room in my life for that right now.

It’s supposed to be a joke, but with the “nice guy” always seemingly being put last, it can hit a little close to home for many guys.

Dating can feel mysterious when everything you do goes nowhere. Try being nice – she disappears. Try being “cool” – she disappears…

I know what it feels like to see everything go nowhere because I’ve experienced it first hand. At one time I came to the conclusion that there was no pattern, it was all random. Then I figured out a better way to do things and learned that dating success isn’t random.

So what’s a guy to do? Continue reading for some easy to follow insights to make your dates better, instantly.

9 Ways To Make Your Dates Better Now

1. Choose the location and activity

It’s not fun for women when they meet indecisive guys who either can’t make up their minds, or they ask their date to make all of the decisions. Pick the location and activity to make it easier on both of you.

You’ll also show that you’re the kind of guy who leads, and takes charge.

2. Don’t go out for dinner on a first date

Or a second or third date for that matter. You’ll both be sitting across from each other with your mouths stuffed with food, which makes conversation difficult. You’ll also be spending money on someone you don’t know, and don’t know if you’ll be seeing again.

Choose a simple coffee or drink date, or even better be the cook and invite her over for dinner. It’s cheaper than going out, a much more intimate environment, and you can get a chance to show off your cooking skills. No cooking skills? YouTube will make you a master chef in no time flat.

3. Sit beside her or at a forty five degree angle

A great way to kill the interview mode setup is to avoid seating yourselves as if you were doing an interview.

Sit beside her or at an angle beside her for a more friendly feeling. This will make it easier to go for a kiss or get physical too.

4. Be physical

If you’re not going to be physical you may as well be out with friends or… join the other guys she’s already friendzoned. Start light, maybe a simple touch on her elbow or hand while you chat, and if she’s OK with that you can move it up progressively.
If she moves away from you it’s an obvious sign she’s not into it, or you’re coming on too strong too early. Just try again later if she becomes more comfortable.

Touch has multiple benefits, not just establishing a non platonic outing. One study  showed that couples holding hands will actually sync their breathing, heartbeat, and even relieve pain.

“Scientists have long known that people subconsciously sync their footsteps with the person they’re walking with or adjust their posture to mirror a friend’s during conversation. Recent studies also show that when people watch an emotional movie or sing together, their heart rates and respiratory rhythms synchronize. When leaders and followers have a good rapport, their brainwaves fall into a similar pattern. And when romantic couples are simply in each other’s presence, their cardiorespiratory and brainwave patterns sync up, research has shown.”

Not only that, but touch is a stress reliever,

“The act of embracing floods our bodies with oxytocin, a “bonding hormone” that makes people feel secure and trusting toward each other, lowers cortisol levels, and reduces stress. Women who get more hugs from their partners have higher levels of oxytocin and lower blood pressure and heart rates,”

according to research done at the University of North Carolina. That doesn’t mean to invade her, you’ll have to read the situation, but don’t be afraid of getting physical.

5. Let her carry the conversation

Don’t be the one doing all of the talking. Instead, become a good listener. Learn how to get women to do the talking and you won’t have to worry about what to say at every moment.

It’s simple but takes some practice. Ask a couple questions focusing on her and then allow her to talk. Sit, listen, observe, and repeat what she said in your own words. That will show that you’re interested and help build a connection.

That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t converse, but keep it about 60/40 with her talking most of the time. Add your own personal anecdotes and opinions to what she says to keep it conversational.

Here’s how to make it a little smoother, “Accept your date’s pass, redirect it slightly, and then return the ball— all with warmth and genuine interest in his or her responses. This acceptance and redirection is the push and pull that creates smoothness.”

Important note: don’t rush when you’re speaking

When we get nervous or we feel like the other person is not interested in what we have to say, it’s easy to rush. Don’t rush what you’re saying, take your time and tell your story. Slowing down and pausing will make you look and feel more confident.

6. Keep the date short and sweet

One of my clients would take girls out for 6+ hours at a time…his dates didn’t go anywhere. Keep all first dates to about 1.5 hours or less. Long dates can become boring and feel like a drag when you’re sitting there with a stranger to get a feel for them.

Keep it short and it will be sweeter and more impact-full. Leave her wanting more by making yourself a bit of a mystery. You’re whole life story doesn’t need to be revealed the first time. One exception is when you have your date over at your place. When things get more heated the longer time period is often necessary, and fun.

7. Go for a kiss

One of the worst things that can happen on a date is that nothing happens. If you don’t go for it neither will she. It’s not a big deal, even if she rejects it. Just get close, lean in and try.
It doesn’t have to be at some special moment, but the better you get at the dating game the easier it will be to see opportunities.

8. Don’t try to impress her

Never try to impress your dates, you’ll have the opposite effect. When you try too hard you become a “try hard.” People who brag about what they have or have done come off insecure.

That doesn’t mean you can’t talk about accomplishments and even material wealth, but they should only come up if the conversation warrants it. If she ask you about something feel free to spill the beans, but your accomplishments should be presented matter of factly, not to impress her.

9. All eyes on her

Keep strong eye contact. If your eyes dart around or away from her when she’s talking to you, it will look insecure. Strong eye contact is one of the best things you can do on a date to create a sense of connection and chemistry. Not to mention sexual tension.

In one study, staring into a stranger’s eyes produced feelings of attraction after only a couple of minutes.

“Researchers Kellerman, Lewis, and Laird (1989) set out to explore the effects of mutual eye contact on participants’ feelings of romantic love. In two experiments, participants were randomly paired into opposite sex couples and given the instructions to either gaze at their partner’s hands, eyes, or count the number of eye blinks for two minutes.

After completing that task, participants filled out various questionnaires to assess their feelings about their assigned partner.

Results of the questionnaires indicated that couples who participated in mutual eye contact reported stronger feelings than any other group. Specifically, couples who both looked into each other’s eyes reported significantly higher feelings of affection, passionate love, dispositional love, and liking for their partner.

Thus, as the researchers note, “subjects induced to exchange mutual unbroken eye gaze for 2 min with a stranger of the opposite sex reported increased feelings of passionate love for each other”

If you’re tempted to avoid eye contact and stare at a wall instead, just remember that you’re missing an opportunity to create sparks.

These basics will make it easier to have great first dates that turn into second dates. Above all, have fun on your dates and more women will have fun with you. It’s easy to turn dates into dry science experiments if you forget that you’re there to enjoy yourself.

Good Luck!

About the author Sarah Williams

Sarah Williams is an avid blogger who specializes in dating advice. Her interests include gender relations and the underlying mechanisms that drive human interactions. You can check out her thoughts on men, sex, dating and love at Wingman Magazine .

100 thoughts on “How To Get Out Of The Friend Zone In 6 Easy Steps

  1. Very insightful and confirms some of my suspicions about women, but of course all women and men are different. But for sure I know women find confidence attractive in a man

    1. “but of course all women and men are different”. Nope. Woman are all the same. There is possibly one in a million that is really truthful or whatever. Woman are programmed like that.

    2. At the end of the day just make your intentions known in the beginning. If you want to get at some girl, don’t become bff’s with her then expect her to suddenly look at you in a completely different way. If she rejects you then you know from the beginning that she isn’t interested.

    3. It’s confirming some of my suspicions about a certain brand of unpleasant man, that’s for sure.

      If you pretend to be someone’s friend and think that entitles you to sex- you aren’t a “nice guy”.

      1. Yeah, but the same goes for woman. If you keep pulling a man in knowing he feels for you and then pushing him away, repeat, repeat, repeat, you’re not a nice gril, you’re just playing mind games and have no respect for your so called friend.

        1. I’m concerned as to how you might be defining “pulling a man” in.

          But personally I’m no fan of mind games regardless of who is engaging in them.

          1. he’s right women have a way of sending mixed signals, just come out ad tell the guy from the start how you feel, i think most men would understand and move on, the longer you string them on giving them hope the worst the outcome when you do tell them the truth.

          2. Most ‘nice guys’. There are no mixed signals. You just think any time a woman is interested in forming a platonic relationship that this is confusing. It’s not, see when a girl says ‘We’re just friends’ and then asks you out or something, I think she expects that you remembered her saying you were just friends. That’s not mixed.

          3. fair enough but some women will string you along for months, without giving you a yes or no, it happened to me so i know, i think if we got a hard no at the start we wouldn’t feel as if there is a zone and that its unfair

          4. That’s not how it works. I used to go out with a girl, she ‘friendzoned’ me while I was fat and went out with me when I had lost the weight. I once pointed it out to her and she denied it. To be honest I’m not that bitter. She didn’t find me physically attractive and then she did, it happens when people change. Men also base quite a lot on physical attraction, we also string women along sometimes. The scary thing about what you are saying is the idea that feelings don’t change. If you can’t handle not getting a hard no, how will you handle it if someone stops loving you? Feelings are weird and nobody owes you an explanation for that. The zone is not unfair, it doesn’t even exist. You should feel happy that someone likes you so much to let them into your life. From my point of view this just seems like people are upset that they don’t get what they want.

          5. i aint bitter as well i have used the experience to start working on me, still friends with the girl but i have told her that i have moved on.

  2. We all live in the friend zone. Think about all the women (or men) that you know, and you will find that 99.9% of them are friends at best.

  3. You only have a shot at getting out of the “friend zone” if she thinks you’re physically attractive. But that’s usually a rare case….

  4. When she’s looking sexy one day just ask her if she wants to have sex later, she’ll know you want her even if you’re friends. So she thinks about it over time and might say yes another time you ask her.

  5. Friend zone doesn’t exist, spark attraction and seduce a girl, any guy can do it at any time, its never too late

        1. I just got it a couple days ago it does suck but I mean I’m going to try the one where you flirt with others and hang out with her

          1. For me i got the gut punch recently she came out and said she doesn’t have feeling for me. Its embarrassing because all my friends and coworkers think she likes me and we would be good together because we were always together and they think i am missing out on her. So i have to give some bs readon as to why we aint an item which i usually just say is because i dont want to

          2. I did sort of i try to avoid seeing and talking to her but after a few weeks she started to initiate conversations. I talk to her then but it isn’t what it use to be, i try to keep things as minimal as i can without being seen as jerk. So far it has been hard but i realize that i have to move on, i kinda feel as if she feels we could just go back to what we were but i don’t think that is possible.

          3. If it helps: For me, it was ~25 years ago. She felt I wasn’t much of a leader and I finally actually moved to another state because being near her was too painful. There’s more to the story. I was moving back home from college where I could find a better job, but I moved largely to get away from her.

            She married someone she felt was a leader and now has some status but if reports are to be believed is controlling and abusive.

            I’ve been married 20 years now to a woman who I first made a good friendship with. This time when she said she wanted to be ‘just friends,’ I said no. I didn’t actually have to cut her off but I did make her call me. When we got together again, I made sure to hold her hand and kiss her.

            Everybody’s different but that’s my experience.

            And no, I’ve never forgotten her.

          4. Thanks for sharing that it helps me to know that there are others who have been in similar situations and have gotten through it. I haven’t given up i don’t intend to do that. The truth is this was the first time i worked up the courage to tell someone how i felt. I am going to take my time and look around and eventually i think i will find that special someone

  6. I’ve know this girl for a while. Her and I are really good friends but just recently we have been hanging out alone at her place. She is always touching me and say “hold me hand” but in a joking way. Is she trying to get out of the friend zone and telling me she wants to be kissed?

    1. Jesus you should be taking her pants off by now and getting it in ….. hope you figured that one out buddy. Especially if she was one you really wanted.

  7. everything what this author wrote is sadly true. Even the so called “special” girls are like that. Even the Juno-kind Girls are playing “games”. And you will hurt yourself immensely if you don´t play with. Period. This will be the second fucked up summer for me because I did not played. Girls are playing right from the start. They don´t know it better. Forget about equality in a relationship. Woman don´t want it. It turns them off actually. Trust me. Actually I did not play with a girl last Year and lost and I played with her the hard to get game and got her back. I was surprised that it worked and how -as a strong independent kind of woman- she wanted that I dominate her. i was shocked and backrapped like a moron and after that she began losing Interest and. And as stupid as I was I revealed my feelings towards her in this period. Fucking loser. Don´t ever tell her that you love her until she says it first. And never talk about feelings and emotions until you had several times sex.

    1. So you decided to sell your soul in exchange of having sex with these bitches? 😀 Tough choice…

    2. Judging from what you are saying, your head is pretty fucked up and I imagine the only girls that will be interested in you will also be fucked up. You sound like a complete moron, so most likely attract the same. It’s not complicated. What the fuck is a “special girl”, you mean a girl that you like and therefore think is “different from other girls”. Seriously dump your fedora and join the rest of us in the real world.

  8. terrible advice. what you do is once you are good friends, begin being slightly less nice to her, pay less attention to her, in short ignore her for a couple days. She will realize you are becoming distant/losing interest and that she in fact does like you, and either will be much more “down” or simply want you or try to use sex in order to interest you in her. After ignoring her a few days bump into her and you will notice the difference in her flirtatiousness and reaction to you.

    1. “In laymen’s terms, you serve as a woman’s gay bff because there aren’t enough homosexuals for the entire female population.” – wow 😮

  9. OK so what about a girl that totally was flirting with me getting really sexual. So I returned the favor with the flirting and the banter. Then suddenly she does a 180/and says lets just be friends. It’s totally messing with me because I really like this girl.

    1. She is probably a bartender in the US, and her job is to flirt with guests to sell more drinks…. 😀

  10. Sadly, more often than not I end up placing girls who like me in the friend zone. Just recently after a very long time I decided not to do that again. Ever.

  11. Friend zone is hard, because you want to tell her your feelings but either she won’t listen or just won’t take them into consideration. If you want to caught her eyes and make her fall in love with you, you need to step up your game. Make her feel attracted to you and make her jealous, so she starts wondering about her feelings about you. I have all the tips in my blog:

  12. Ugh. Maybe, just maybe, these people aren’t attracted to you because you think being nice to someone/acts of friendship entitle you to sex?

  13. Wow, this is like not totally bad advice about dating like this. I’ve never viewed friend-zoned as really a bad thing myself except when talking with other guys about it. IMO, it is an honest way to turn someone down romantically but also showing that you don’t necessarily hate them either. I mean woman sexuality is weird and very subjective. It’s only us guys that coined that term ‘friend-zone’ with such negative stigma.

    I mean the only difference really is SEX right? If you are one of those guys that has to absolutely have sex for your ego or other satisfaction, then just pay for it or find easier desperate women while remaining friends with the one you like. Best of both worlds ;P ….or better yet, go out and actually find a new girlfriend that likes you sexually while keeping friends with the girls you’ve been friend-zoned previously.

  14. Hmm, I think friend zones are pretty awesome as you get social proof. Fight for being out of the friend zone. Disagree with her on some points, and have a world view. *by world view I mean that have your own perspective about how you might change the world with your life.

    Maybe she might idealise you and recommend you to one of her friends if she isn’t interested. Building your own plan for your life can be pretty rewarding.

    Hope this helps,

  15. ive had a past with this girl and done sexual things with her but i feel as if im back in the friendzone what do i do

  16. Big Disagreement here:

    There’s no such thing as just friends. What she’s really saying is she wants to take advantage of your affection without actually committing herself to you and she thinks you’re too weak to walk away.

    Correct response is to say, “That doesn’t work for me. There’s no such thing as just friends.” Not angrily, just as a matter-of-fact.

    Cut her off. If she starts to pursue you, that’s great but she must start giving Public Displays of Affection and be a real girlfriend.

    You’re going to feel like this is risky but the fact is, you have no chance otherwise. You’re going to think that it takes strength to stay beside her and never give up but it takes strength to walk away and make her come to you.

    The irony is, friendship really is the basis of a lifetime love affair but you have to make her commit to you.

    Just like if she puts out without getting a ring and never winds up with a husband, if you give her your affection without getting commitment in return, you’ll never get her anyway.

  17. Obviously the girl your tying to impress knows you like her for more than just a friend. They do that on purpose when they don’t feel the same way.

  18. In my experience, girls always are careful while choosing guys, you may be hell attractive, smart, intelligent but what girls see first whether they’ll receive affection from you and you’ll take proper care of them. Girls friendzone guys because most of the time they’re confused about their feelings towards guy, it depends on guy how he takes it, if guy accept being in friendzone then end of game but if he wants to get out of friendzone then everything is possible, for me its a great chance to stay in friendzone for while, it gives you chance to attract the woman you want. Just be a man she wants in her life, she’ll fall in love with you for sure.

    1. I am not sure whether this is true. Maybe in some cases. I was friendzoned by my love of life, and I already friendzoned ugly girls, so I know both sides. I think in most of the cases you are simply not attractive enough. Alcohol can help sometimes! 😉

      1. Well in some cases being attractive might be one of the criteria but in my experience its not always the reason in all case, I have been friendzone by my love of life too but finally she accepted her feelings for me all she wanted to be careful not to get hurt in relationships. Even I had friendzone lots of girls not because they’re ugly but when you love someone from heart you’ll not have feelings for other person. About alcohol its just a stupid excuse for people who give up 🙂

          1. Yes, there is always hope, but never act clingy or desperate… be confident guy… let the girl fall in your love 🙂

  19. Man check it out.. I’m a muscian and met this Sag at one of the churches I played at. We started out as friends and hung out with people together and got close. Like Super close! I got twins from a previous relationship and it was new to her but she didn’t mind at all. It got to were I was with her ALL the time. We talked everyday. When I wasn’t at work, with my twins, at rehearsal or at a gig, I was at her crib. We kissed and showed affection and all that, but never had sex. I figured she wasn’t going anywhere and I was certain I was gonna get it anyways;) I never pressured her for sex and she felt more comfortable cause of it. The other guys she talked to were more aggressive than I was and it annoyed her at times. She told me this. I felt like I could get more aggressive, but hey it wasn’t needed;)
    Long story short. It got REAL.. My twins mother started to hate her and got threatened by our relationship. Social media spying and all smh. It was very embarrassing. My Sag eventually wanted a serious relationship with me. She loves me and I loved her the same. I stalled till I couldn’t anymore. She sent me a text while I was at work explaining how we should stop all the kissing, touching and acting like we’re together of we weren’t. I totally straightened up and was like “ok. I’m ready. I’ll do what I have to do to make us work” and it was too late. She said she couldn’t say that she would try anything serious with me. She said I was all over the place and I’m always changing phone numbers and on top of that I had problems out of my twins mother smh. I guess she got sick of it.. I’ve been in the friend-zone for about 5 months now. I still try to see her maybe twice a month in some casual way. And we text from time to time. Whenever I see her I get good compliments. And it’s even been sex jokes thrown around if I wear a suit around her0_0 lol.. All in all I think it’s something still there. She’s doing her thing and I’m doing mine. I figure I’ll play it cool even tho I still have STRONG feelings for my Sag and just make sure I look GOOD when she sees me and make sure I give her good & funny convos everytime we communicate. Seems to work. I see her more now;) wish me luck;)

  20. If a woman says that she wants to be “just friends” with you, just end the friendship politely because it’d be a waste of time you can’t go beyond the friend zone. Tell her that she’d be one friend too many for her to be just friends. Women come and go a lot and there’s plenty of fish in the sea that are willing to go beyond the friend zone if that’s what your main mission is. Again, if a woman you like say she just want to be friends with you, politely decline the offer, cut her out of your life permanently and move on.

  21. Me and this girl were kissing and cuddling and then a couple days later she says that she is really sad because she is thinking about her ex and then
    she told me that she wanted to stay friends forever. What do I do now

    1. She is probably just hurt and You should give her a little time then maybe (key word maby) listen to the comments on this page

  22. I’ve been talking to this woman for about 2 weeks now she’s always busy with work because she works 60/70 hours a week. Now the only way I can talk to her is by text I’ve met her in person and she agreed to go out on a date with me when she has time off work. So my question is how do I play that.

    1. Texting can actually be one of the best ways to get out of the friend zone. This is because it’s easier to make it clear what your intentions are. Check out Race dePriest’s texting guide, his sh*t works so good. You can find his guide at:

      You gotta remember that women are on their phone 24/7 nowadays. Knowing how to get their panties wet through text is a massive advantage. **** the friend zone.

    2. Is there no way you can call her? Most guys are terrified of calling a girl, but sexual chemistry is sparked through conversation. This is how you get out of the friend zone.Too many guys obsess about their physical appearance, but don’t spend any time learning how to talk to a woman.

      It’s not about learning pick up lines or any of that crap, it’s about making subtle changes to how you say things. I highly recommend checking out Matt Artisan’s sexual chemistry guide, it’s brilliant. You can find it here:
      Matt Artisan – Triggering Sexual Chemistry

      Let me know how it works for you.

    3. Is there no way you can call her? Most guys are terrified of calling a girl, but sexual chemistry is sparked through conversation. This is how you get out of the friend zone. Too many guys obsess about their physical appearance, but don’t spend any time learning how to actually talk to women.

      It’s not about learning pick up lines, women can see right through that. It’s more about making subtle changes to how you say things. It’s really worth checking out Matt Artisan’s sexual chemistry guide, it’d brilliant. You can find it here: Matt Artisam – Triggering Sexual Chemistry

      Hope this helps you out.

  23. i though that the freindzone wasnt real but i have a crush and my best freind of 6 years she always jokes around how we could never date and if i were to ask her out either are freindship would end or in a much slimmer chance she might go out with me and ive taken her out before but she thinks its freinds hanging out. we both get along so wel but i dont think that she shares the same feelings. we text each other every night from 11 pm til 2-3 in the morning. Im texting her as i right this now but i now there is now way to get out of this

  24. finally got the courage to walk away last night i told her i was moving on, after she kept asking me how come she doesn’t see me around anymore, i said i hoped that we could be friends even though it sounded like she was upset because i flat out told her i didn’t want to hang out like before, for the first time in a while i feel as if i have hope for the future.

  25. impressed !!! while i was reading this article, i thought it must be of some male author.But to my surprise, The author is Female!!! WOw..amaizing article.Love it.

  26. I’m deep. In the friend zone, even after 4 dates, dinner the two of us alone, I never make my move, this is all my fault, I was to supportive and helpful, damn so. Naive

  27. the real problem is that american women are attracted to stupid things. that is why the “girl who could have anyone” winds up stuck with an a**hole or abuser. the wrong attributes are mistaken strength, and i blame feminism for that. if a woman is taught to be as strong as a man, but biologically craves someone “alpha”, that limits her choices to an archetype that is often given to mistreatment. The reason I specify American women is that I have lived in other countries that do not share this problem

      1. not really. “red pilled” is a term wielded by gym bros who take the above knowledge as their license to revenge – bang every unfortunate woman who happens across their social sphere.
        Me i just want a normal “wife and kids” american dream, people need to grow out of the casual sex phase

  28. Oh for fucks sake I don’t wanna play these stupid games, I’m gonna call her and straight up tell it how it is, I can’t deal with this bull shit anymore.If you flirt with her and she gives you a flirty reaction but still doesn’t want anything form you she is playing with you, understand that. Make it clear that you ain’t playing anymore.

  29. Most guys focus on their appearance and nothing else. There’s way more to female attraction than just looks.

    When a girl decides who she wants to be sexual with… she goes for the guy that other women are choosing. It’s called pre-selection. Have you ever seen a hot girl with a dude way out of her league and thought “How the hell did he get her?” Most people assume he’s rich (sometimes true) but not always. Check out Josh Pellicer’s ‘TAO of Badass’ – He shows you how to use the pre-selection method to your advantage and it’s genius. Here’s a link to his video & guide: >>
    Josh Pellicer’s – TAO Video Guide

  30. Friend zone = No sexual tension.. (That’s pretty much it in a nutshell.)

    I know this might sound harsh, but she probably finds you boring. I only say that because I’ve been in this position myself. It doesn’t necessarily mean you’re a boring person, but for some reason when we’re attracted to a good looking woman, it’s like our personality goes out the window. We play it safe and try to say the right things.. but all this does is KILL attraction.

    It’s really worth checking out Matt Artisan’s ‘Triggering Sexual Chemistry’ – His method works crazy good. Here’s a link to his guide to anyone interested: Matt Artisan – Triggering Sexual Chemistry

  31. Friend zone = No sexual tension.. (That’s pretty much it in a nutshell.)

    I know this might sound harsh, but she probably finds you boring. I only say that because I’ve been in this position myself. It doesn’t necessarily mean you’re a boring person, but for some reason when we’re attracted to a good looking woman, it’s like our personality goes out the window. We play it safe and try to say the right things.. but all this does is KILL attraction.

    It’s really worth checking out Matt Artisan’s ‘Triggering Sexual Chemistry’ – His method works crazy good. Here’s a link to his guide
    Matt Artisan – Triggering Sexual Chemistry

  32. Just ignore her and move on …. you’ll find someone much better OR you will have fun getting around with plenty of other attractive girls and her jealousy and loneliness for you will kickin and she will eventually chase YOU instead.

    It isn’t about be an ass hole to girls that turns them on. But ignoring them when they are being a total flirt/cunt dick tease and moving on not giving them that attention the attention whore inside them craves, leads to her chasing you down and wanting you more than you ever wanted her. It works …. every fucking time

  33. Friend zone = No sexual tension.. (That’s pretty much it in a nutshell.)

    I know this might sound harsh, but she probably finds you boring. I only say that because I’ve been in this position myself. It doesn’t necessarily mean you’re a boring person, but for some reason when we’re attracted to a good looking woman, it’s like our personality goes out the window. We play it safe and try to say the right things.. but all this does is KILL attraction.

    It’s really worth checking out Matt Artisan’s ‘Attractive Man Academy. It’s all about making the most attractive version of yourself.. Here’s a link to his guide
    Matt Artisan – Attractive Man Academy

  34. Why its so hard to accept that sometimes people just dont fit.They can be a different perosnality that all.Love its not only abaout sexual attraction but also a personal connection, shared thoughts, feelings, way of thinking.

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