‘How To Make My Wife Horny?’ – 21 Tips to Understand The Nuances of Her Sexuality

By Patrick Banks

Posted 2 years agoSEX

Does your wife not want sex with you anymore? Can you not encourage her to make love to you? Do you feel that whenever you finally get some action in bed, you have to “force her” to do it? Change this today! There are six methods that will make your wife horny again.
How-To-Make-My-Wife-Horny

If your wife used to like making love with you but is now turning her head away telling you that she “is tired” or “has a terrible headache”- then this article is for you! Asking yourself: how to make my wife horny? Read it and act right now! 

Ask anyone how long it takes for a relationship to get boring, and you’re likely to see a wide range of answers from a few years to a couple of years. Relationship boredom is hardly rare and whether you’ve been dating for a few months or have been married for several years, it can strike at any time. And certain major life changes such as having kids or landing a promotion can certainly put some distance between you and your partner or even cause emotional infidelity.

It’s normal. The good news is your relationship isn’t doomed; you just need to make time for it and put some effort into rekindling the flame. Here are ten ways to keep the romance alive and hot when your relationship has taken a turn for Dullsville.

Why doesn’t she want sex with you anymore?

There could be a number of reasons why she doesn’t want to have sexual contact with you anymore, but one thing is for sure: if she’s married to you, she was and probably still is extremely attracted to you. If your sexual relations used to be more satisfying, something probably just went the wrong direction in your relationship.

No matter how much you love her, women are sensitive and sometimes they feel insecure in a relationship. What’s more, with age our bodies change, so she may not feel as sexy as she did before, which can keep her mind from sexual desire and passion.

If a woman doesn’t feel appreciated enough in the relationship, this can cause a lowering of her libido. So, read more about how to raise her libido and make her finish with a wonderful orgasm.

9 Reasons Why Women Lose Interest In Sex

You may be wondering why your wife or girlfriend loses interest in being intimate with you. You might have thought that she doesn’t love you any more or that she already lost interest in you and your relationship. You start comparing her sex drive before, and now you start doubting yourself, asking questions whether it’s your performance in bed caused her to lose interest.

Men’s performance in bed is not usually the reason why women lose interest in intimacy. There are clinical reasons for this, and to better understand your woman, here are the main reasons for women’s decrease in sex drive.

1. Lack of Sleep

A study conducted back in 2015 showed that women who have enough sleep manifest a high sexual desire level. They also show better arousal on the next day, which suggests that women who are sleep deprived are the ones who exhibit a low sexual desire.

The study also suggests that an hour of shut-eye added a 14% increase in women’s chance to engage in sexual activity with her partner. Now that you know about the impact of sleep with your partner’s sexual drive, you now have a reason to let her sleep in peace. The longer, the better.

2. Effects of Certain Prescription Drug

Certain medications can cause a woman’s interest in sex. This includes a particular antidepressant medication categorized as SSRI or Selective Serotonin Reuptake Inhibitors.

Women who are under SSRI drug medication manifest little to no interest in engaging in sexual acts. However, there is a relatively new drug that does not have these side effects on women taking the medication.

3. Fatigue

If you already have kids and your partner suddenly loses interest in making love  with you, this might mean that she’s experiencing fatigue. Exhaustion of taking care of young kids, sometimes coupled with work, can cause fatigue.

It is also possible that an illness or surgery, specifically around the breast or genital area, can affect a woman’s sexual function, body image, or desire for sex. These issues can also cause your partner’s fatigue. Thus, you have to be more attentive and observant with your partner’s lifestyle or medical background.

4. Alcohol or Weed

A glass of wine isn’t a bad idea to put your partner in the mood, but excessive alcohol consumption might result in the loss of interest in sex. Alcohol consumption is not discouraged entirely, but instead, it’s advised to drink in moderation.

A woman should limit her alcohol consumption to three units a day to ensure that the alcohol won’t affect her libido. And as for men, you should not go beyond four units of booze a day, or else you might also experience a loss of libido, which reduces your sex drive.

5. Hormonal Change

Another factor that can decrease a woman’s sex drive is hormonal change. There are many reasons why a woman’s hormones are altered. The most common ones are menopause, pregnancy, and breastfeeding.

During menopause, a woman’s estrogen level drops as her body undergoes the process of menopausal. This decrease of estrogen causes a woman to have a dry vaginal tissue, which will result in painful and uncomfortable intercourse.

The change of hormones during pregnancy, after childbirth, and during breastfeeding can also cause a constraint in sex drive. This brings us back to fatigue that’s discussed earlier, which can be present post-partum.

6. Psychological Factors

A woman’s mental health can also affect her desire for sex. Low self-esteem and poor body image make a woman think she’s not suitable to have sex with any partner. Other factors include stress, anxiety, and depression. Nobody will be in the mood when they experience these psychological issues, whether you’re a man or a woman.

If your woman has previous bad experience of sex or a history of sexual and physical abuse, this could play a huge factor in her sex mood. Pay close attention to her body language as most abused women are wary, especially to touch.

7. Relationship Issue

If you and your partner are struggling with your relationship, it’s normal that she does not want to have sex with you. No woman enjoys sex with her partner during a relationship crisis.

For most women, the preparation of good sexual intimacy is their emotional closeness to their partner. So, if you just pissed off your girl, don’t expect any intimacy from her until you resolve your issues.

8. Lack of Exercise

Maybe this is the time to encourage your girl to hit the gym with you. Exercise has a connection with a sex drive as it can stabilize and balance the hormone and physiological processes of a person, helping with a person’s libido.

If you think that exercising would increase your partner’s sex drive, motivate her to exercise. It will improve not only her interest in sex but also her overall health.

9. Age

Whether we like it or not, a woman’s sex drive sometimes decreases as she ages. Sex hormones decrease during ageing, plus the side effects of all the medication for age-related health problems contribute to a lack of sex drive. Their energy level also declines, which can make them brush off the idea of having sex.

Ok, so you know already the facts why your partner may not be in the mood these days. Let’s focus on how to make your wife horny again… Are you ready for fresh and hot insights straight from a phone sex girl?

How to Increase Your Partner’s Sexual Drive

You must support and help your partner in dealing with this issue. Instead of condemning her, you should be her number one support system in this battle. This is not just an issue for sex, but it is also a health issue that both of you need to address. Here’s some guidance on how to increase your partner’s interest in sex.

You also have to put in mind that men and women have a different perspective on sex. Men can separate sex from emotions, but most women cannot. A woman engages in sex if they are emotionally attached or attracted to the man. You have to consider how your girl feels about sex and intimacy. What works for you might not work for your partner and can cause further loss of interest.

Remember that you are partners and her sexual issues affect you. Thus, you should be in this together. Help her regain her sexual desire by opening your mind to your problem’s possible causes and solutions. With the given reasons above, you can better acknowledge her situation and can now provide better support for her.

1. Start From Her Head

Female sexuality is more complex than male sexuality. Encouraging her to have sex with you shouldn’t begin with physical things such as touching her breasts or other intimate zones.

First, you have to remind her brain of your presence. Make her think that she wants you and she will not be able to overcome her desire for you.. Forget that you are horny and play the game differently than usual. Although some natural aphrodisiac such as black ginger, which is great for your health as well would help too!

Ask her some non-sexual questions, which will show her that you are interested and make her feel comfortable and safe. This is what most women need before sex. Ask her how her day was and then aks some more specific questions. Try one of these:

  • Work related: How did she deal with the difficult client she told you about a few days ago? Say something supportive like “if I were your boss, I would have given you a promotion already.”
  • Show that you care about her family: “Did you call your mother? How is she?”
  • Or keep it simple: “Would you like me to make you tea or fix you a drink”?

Show her that you are interested in her and her affairs, not only her body. Appreciate her efforts to deal with work and home. Focus on her, without saying too much about yourself. Don’t just ask about what’s for dinner today or other selfish questions.

Aside from helping her figure out the issue behind the sudden loss of sexual interest, you can also try to be more romantic. Rekindle your intimacy by showing romantic gestures, such as kissing her deeply before leaving for work or sending her sexy messages.

You can also reconnect with her by sensual touching and complimenting her anytime you can. They say that women need more time to warm up and be in the mood, and these little gestures can surely jumpstart satisfying sex later.

2. Communicate With Them

Lack of communication is a leading reason why many relationships fail. Communication is the glue that holds a household together, especially when you have children and other important obligations. It’s really important to make your needs known and reach agreements about household chores to be done and who will pay the bills and handle other financial responsibilities when you live together.

This includes communicating in the bedroom as well. Talking to your partner about your fantasies, desires, and what turns you on is healthy and can lead to hotter sex.

And besides this type of communication, just talking to your partner about how their day went can help maintain your union. Yes, it’s romantic sometimes to think that you can read each other’s minds and know what the other is thinking without a word being said. But at the end of the day, all of us need social interaction. Something as simple as a dinner conversation lets your partner know 

3. Appreciate Them

How many of us can honestly say we take the time regularly to let our partner know how much we appreciate having them in our life? Sure, we can give them a gift as suggested, but sometimes a person needs to hear verbal reassurance that they’re loved and cherished. Those two simple words, “thank you”, can go a long way towards keeping a relationship strong.

Don’t be shy about thanking your partner if they helped you out by driving you to work while your car was in the shop or coming with you for moral support for a doctor’s appointment. Everyone enjoys feeling appreciated and wanted.

4. Work On Your Relationship

If the reason for the decrease in sex drive in your woman is due to relationship issues, it is better to talk it out. First things first, do not think about sex. Focus on how you can fix your problem. If talking could not mend your relationship issues, you can seek a relationship counselor. If your partner can’t open up to you and talk about her issues regarding your relationship, a counselor could be of immense help.

It is normal for women to lose their interest in sex at some point, but it does not happen without reason. There is always a cause behind it, and understanding these reasons will open your eyes and be more eligible to offer assistance to your woman.

Never neglect your woman’s signs of decrease in sex drive, which usually indicates a more severe problem. Whenever you notice a change in her sexual performance, talk to her, and assure her that you understand.

5. Prioritize Relax Together

Manage stress by taking part in a healthy lifestyle. You have to consider not only your physical health but also your mental and emotional health. It is a good idea to take a break from your everyday life. You can travel together and enjoy an intimate vacation.

If travelling is out of your capacity, you can have a quiet time to relax instead. A spa or massage would be a good option to provide a relaxing and quiet time for your girl. You should spend more time with her and establish your connection once again.

Propose a nap or a nice date. If she agrees with the nap, don’t try to make love to her. Just let her sleep. During this time, you can take a walk in the park with your kid. Don’t watch TV on full volume. Give her time to rest.

If you go out to the movies choose her style of movie. No action or horror, maybe a romantic comedy. If you go to dinner, don’t drink too much. All your moves should appear spontaneous, without the expectation of them leading to the bedroom. Don’t try to be too sweet. Show the side of your personality you know she likes the best. Don’t force yourself to do things, she will notice and it will cause the opposite effect.

6. Schedule Time For Each Other

When life gets in the way, sometimes you need to put your foot down and plan a day or night alone with your partner without any distractions. This shows you’re willing to make them and your relationship a priority. Mark a date on the calendar and then clear that day of work and any other obligations.

And when you’re with your partner, put away the mobile phone and resist the urge to check it during your dinner or other planned activity. Whoever just tagged you on Facebook can wait—your time with your loved one is more important.

Even just spending regular quality time together, whether it’s reading in bed or snuggling on the couch while watching a movie, can be very nurturing to your relationship.

7. Help Her With her Daily Tasks (Even More Than Usual)

 If you already have kids, you can help her take care of your children or assist with the household chores. This gesture will help your partner relax and save more energy.

She’ll have extra time for herself, like taking a relaxing shower, reading a book, or even a nap to enhance her overall mood, including her sexual mood. A survey conducted shows 15% of women become aroused if their men help with the household chores. It’s popularly referred to as “chore play”.

If she asked you to fix some things at home, like hanging curtains or repairing the sink, then do it today. Do it yourself or ask someone to do it. Fix the bookcase she asked you about a while ago, so that she feels like you care about the house as much as she does. Don’t brag about it. Just do it and that’s all. She will notice, don’t worry.

If you want to compound the effect, mention something about doing the things she wants. If you’re uncomfortable doing something difficult like buying new furniture or visiting her cousin’s family or other family stuff, you don’t have to do it straight away. Just make her feel that you pay attention and care about her needs.

8. Maintain Physical Contact Away From the Bedroom

Make Your Wife Want To Have Sex With You– Tonight!

Suggest that you have a bath together or give her a massage. She should feel that you want to touch her, not only sexually. She should always know that you care about her. Small, seemingly unaware, random touches can make miracles happen! But you shouldn’t be sneaky, never too obvious. Try one of these:
– When she is making dinner approach her from the back and kiss her neck. Be delicate. Remember, it’s always better to give too little than too much.
– Women love a foot massage. Give it to her while she is watching a movie or reading.
– Catch her by the waist while she is passing by you and hug her gently. Say spontaneous things like “ You look great today!” and “You smell great!” Just say it, hug her, and go about your day.

9. If You Have Kids, Take Care of Them

Entertain your children during the day and make them tired. This is the exact opposite of how your wife should feel. She should be as rested as possible. Nothing is as awful for a woman to think about as the kids entering the room while she is having sex with you.

Send your kids to a swimming pool, a football game, or have them stay at a friend’s place. Send them somewhere so they don’t disturb you throughout the evening. What’s more, your wife will really appreciate that you’re taking care of the children. How men deal with children is an important, unconscious factor that makes men more sexually attractive. Play this card well!

10. Build Anticipation

On that note, foreplay isn’t something that can only begin once the two of you are physically in the same room. Build anticipation for the sexy evening you have planned by sending your partner a few suggestive texts, starting from some flirty good morning messages for her, emails which can inspire her, or loving voicemails during the day. You may find you both can’t keep your hands off each other once you’re both home!

11. Try Something New in Bed

If your sex life needs some spicing up, maybe you and your partner have gotten too used to the same-sex position or type of foreplay. It’s time to try something new, whether it’s looking towards the Kama Sutra for inspiration or perusing sex toys. You don’t need to get overly kinky if you or your partner is uncomfortable—even playing a sexy card or board game for couples can create a hot evening.

No one is born being a great lover; it often requires on-going education and imagination. Sometimes all it takes is doing something minor such as learning the fine art of talking dirty and knowing what turns your partner on. Watching your partner masturbate and seeing what their body needs as they pleasure themselves can be a huge turn-on.

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If you both want to become a bit more uninhibited, why not try role-playing? One of you can pretend to be the object of your partner’s fantasy, such as a rock star or police officer. Costumes are optional, but can certainly send those flames soaring!

12. Right Ambiance Can Work Wonders

The atmosphere is as important for women as the sexual act itself. Make sure your bedroom is clean. If she likes flowers and candles, put them there for her, or just play her favourite music in the background. Don’t come on too strong though. She should not feel “trapped” or overly seduced.

Change of settings can also help, such as doing it in your kitchen counter instead of on your bed. You can also enjoy it in your bathroom, with warm water coming out of the shower. The possibilities are endless. Be adventurous and lead your partner to a more exciting world of making love.

13. Make Your Home More Romantic

We believe, though, that you don’t really need to go out there for your romantic getaway. Instead, you can create a more romantic home that can remind you of the love that you share with each other each passing day. Isn’t that more beneficial for your marriage? We think so too!

That’s why, in this article, we are going to help you do just that. We will be sharing the best design tips we have up in our sleeves to create a more romantic home from your bedroom and beyond. Let’s get started!

  • Declutter

We know you’re probably excited to head straight to decorating. After all, decluttering isn’t the most fun chore in the world. However, nothing kills romance faster than clutter. So if you’re really intent on creating a more romantic abode, then your piles of random things on the various surfaces around your home should be the first things to go.

Aside from that, decluttering will also free up more space for you to add the decorative elements that we’re going to share and talk about next.

  • Home Accessories

Anyway, once you’re done with your decluttering and preparations, we can now finally move on to the main part of the article where we’re going to feature our favorite home interior accessories to achieve that romantic look.

  • Lighting

We always prefer to start with the lighting. After all, it can drastically change the look and mood of your home in an instant. Remember, the warmer and dimmer the lights are, the more intimate it will feel, and thus, more romantic. That’s what we’re going for.

Don’t be afraid to experiment with different lighting pieces. Vintage crystal chandeliers have a lot of history and character, combined with an aesthetic that never goes out of style. However, creatively installed fairy lights can also result in the same effect without the hefty price tag. It will seem as if you’re always under the stars.

  • Wall Art

Aside from lighting, another decorative element that can definitely set the mood in any interior space is wall art. Can you imagine the effect of an oversized piece on your wall? It certainly makes a statement, right?

We tend to prefer more personal pieces when it comes to decorating a place to make it more romantic for couples. We suggest using photos taken during particularly memorable moments in your relationship such as your wedding or your first date. If you enjoy displaying calligraphy or typography, though, then veer away from the usual romantic quotes. Instead, choose memorable words as well, such as a favorite line from your vows or an inside joke that only the two of you share.

  • Cushion Covers

Next, here’s a pro tip to keep in mind during your decor project: the more pillows you have, the more cuddling opportunities you’ll get. However, a pile of plain pillows can easily get boring. Hence, dress them up with stylish cushion covers. 

Choose soft colors in interesting textures over bright-colored colors and patterns. And pile them together with layers of cozy blankets. 

  • Candles

Mood lighting, memorable photos, cushions…sounds like everything is already falling into place. We just need a few more items to complete the look. 

First of which are candles. Now, candles are usually categorized under mood lighting as well, but we beg to differ. After all, we still light candles even with proper lighting. Thus, we consider it as a separate decorative element. 

We recommend getting scented ones in order to add to the romance factor. Here are a few scents we prefer:

  • Sweet. Sugary scents like cinnamon, warm sugar, and vanilla can inspire you to start an evening of nibbling.
  • Exotic. Meanwhile, more exotic scents like sandalwood and patchouli can also ignite passion. Opt for more tropical scents like pineapple, orchid, and coconut if it can remind you of past vacations in paradise, though.
  • Perfume. Finally, be on the lookout for perfume-infused candles as well. There’s always something romantic and sexy in the scents of Cool Water and Chanel No. 5, after all. 
  • Flowers

Finally, you have probably noticed that we have skipped floral scents above. That’s because we recommend getting them fresh. Here are our most favorite blooms with their meanings:

  • Roses. A proven classic. Red roses symbolize love, passion, and romance. There’s a reason why roses are given during Valentine’s Day. 
  • Peonies. We love styling arrangements with peonies. They’re just so fluffy, delicate, and stunning. More so, they symbolize romance and bashfulness. Perfect for starting anew or you’re the bashful types who tend to keep things more personal and intimate. Aside from that, there are also cultures that consider peonies as a good luck charm. It wouldn’t hurt to have that extra luck around if you’re about to have a romantic dinner to patch things up. 
  • Matthiola Incana. Here’s a bloom that’s a little bit more uncommon. But they’re so beautiful that we simply can’t resist not to add them here. As for their symbolism, they stand for beauty and happiness that never fades.
  • Ranunculus. Lastly, this has got to be our most favorite bloom of all. Symbolizing charm and attraction, ranunculus flowers look like more stylish and sophisticated roses, almost like works of art that sprang into life.

To sum up our article, here are our design tips for your easy reference:

  • Keeping your home neat and tidy is the first step towards creating a more romantic atmosphere at home
  • Choose home accessories that show history and elegance, but in more subdued colors and patterns. You want to accentuate the emotions that they invoke.
  • Candles are more than just pieces for mood lighting. Their scent can stimulate the senses and create and add passion to any home.
  • The same applies to flowers, but aside from their scent, they add a pop of color and a layer of poetic symbolism as well.

We wish you all the happiness. Now, go start romancing!

14. Focus on Her

The most important consideration: until the end, focus on her, not about sex. That it isn’t just about sex. That’s about your lasting mutual connection which is special, and which sex is just a part of.

Engaging in foreplay is a must. Bring her into the mood by heating her up. Make her feel good and more loved. By engaging in a more emotional and sensual activity, you’ll get a woman aroused.

When you are in bed together, don’t jump in with an overconfident expression on your face. Don’t behave like a man who is about to score.
Even say: “We don’t have to make love. I see that you are tired. I would just like to massage your back.

Make your girl aroused by studying her body. Identify her hotspots and focus on that part to help her achieve arousal. When you hit the perfect spot, everything will fall into place naturally. Sometimes what a woman needs is a little bit of spice to electrify the mood.

Do it slowly, touching her sensitive areas. Give her time to enjoy the sensation and your hands on her naked body. Don’t go straight to intimate zones. Women are slower than men, so take this into consideration. If she likes the situation, she will advance the situation herself.

On the other hand, if after 10-15 minutes she doesn’t seem like she wants to have sex, don’t give up. Kiss her and continue to slowly stimulate her. “Slowly” is the crucial word here. Give her time and make her think that making love to you is 100% her idea. After sex, be nice too.

Don’t fall asleep immediately after or leave her alone. Stay and build intimacy. That way, you can make love again tomorrow!

15. Try New Things with Her

Try new things with her, such as experimenting with sex toys during your intimate moments. You can find different kinds of sex toys at online e-commerce sites, with different designs and purposes. You can also try new sexual positions, or even explore both of your body together.

16. Go together to Sexologist 

Seeking professional help is another thing you can do. Get an appointment with a health-care provider to know whether the cause of the decrease in sex drive is a medical condition. This way, whatever your partner is suffering from can be appropriately addressed by a professional, and she can get proper treatment.

17. Try a New Activity Together

Is there something on your couple bucket list that the two of you always wanted to try? Maybe it’s ziplining, learning how to brew craft beer, or perfecting your golf swing. Taking a class or learning a new skill together can be a lot of fun and lead to some laughs and discovering new things about each other.

And if you’re both at a loss for something to try as a couple, maybe one of you can make the effort to participate in a favorite activity of the other. If your partner is into tennis, for example, at least give the sport a try—you may just discover you’re a natural at it.

If you’re not, at least you showed that you take an interest in and support your partner’s passions. Either way, it’s a win-win for your relationship. 

Research has found that new experiences can increase dopamine levels in the brain. That’s one of the body’s feel-good hormones that run rampant when you’re first falling in love. So trying a new activity together can definitely help bring back that natural high you experienced early in your relationship.

18. Get Away From It All

When’s the last time you and your partner took a trip alone, without the kids? If it’s been a few years, it may be time to put the family vacation on hold this year and plan an excursion for just the two of you. And even if you don’t have children, requesting some time off from work so you can spend some uninterrupted time together can do wonders for reconnecting.

You don’t have to plan an expensive trip to a tropical location or overseas to make it romantic. Even a weekend at a B&B a short drive away may be just what you need to de-stress and get closer.

Or try visiting a city or state neither of you has been to before, but have always been curious to check out. You may just discover your new romantic place.

19. Don’t Forget The Little Gestures

The little things you and your partner do during the day to show each other that you care and still desire them can go a long way to keeping the romance alive. This includes giving them a sincere, lingering kiss goodbye when they leave for work or return home, giving them a playful slap on the rear end, winking at them, and other flirtations. Chances are both of you flirted with each other while you were dating and there’s no reason to stop that once you’ve been with each other for a while.

20. Dance With Each Other

Few physical activities are sexier than dancing with your partner. Whether you’re into letting it all loose with your moves or shuffling back and forth to your favorite romantic song, dancing forces two people to make physical contact and invade each other’s personal space.

If both of you are willing, taking dance lessons can be a fun activity to try together.

21. Surprise Them With a Gift

Surprising your partner with a gift—especially if it’s something they’ve been wanting for a while—is another way to show you care about them and value what’s important to them.

This isn’t about spending a lot of money and constantly doling out presents to prove your love. In fact, that can backfire if you do it too often. It can be something as simple as giving them a gift card to their favorite coffee shop or buying them a vinyl record they’ve been wanting to add to their collection.

Or surprise them by ordering take out from their restaurant so they don’t have to deal with cooking or cleaning up after a long day at work.

Thesetips can surely help keep the romance alive no matter how long you’ve been with your current partner, but they’re not the only ones. Feel free to get creative with new ways to keep your relationship fresh and exciting.

For more advice on keeping things hot in and out of the bedroom, check out our Love and Sex section!

About the author Patrick Banks

Patrick is a Berlin-based dating advisor, motivational speaker, a huge fitness and vegan diet enthusiast and the main editor at Wingman Magazine, specialised in men's health. His ultimate goal is to share with men around the world his passion for self-development and to help them to become the greatest version of themselves. He believes a healthy body and successful social interactions are two main keys to happiness.