Dr. Phil says it takes a woman 14 minutes to have an orgasm… well I feel bad for Dr. Phil.
Thing is, he’s not alone with this number… I’ve seen numerous sources say that it takes a woman anywhere between 15 to 20 minutes to have an orgasm.
Well, one thing is for sure… unless you have delayed ejaculation, a woman generally does take longer to orgasm than men do.
And if you don’t warm her up, and penetrate her properly, it probably WILL take her 15 – 20 minutes to get off… and most men don’t know what the hell they’re doing when they’re in the bedroom, so either 1) the girl naturally has quick/easy orgasms, or 2) she’s putting on a performance to please her man’s ego.
Thing is, it’s not that hard to even the playing field, and make a woman orgasm simultaneously, or even before you.
My Experience With The Female Orgasm
My experience with the female orgasm was not always good… in fact it was terrible – trauma-causing terrible.
I had the love of my life leave me due to my inability to satisfy her in bed. And had MANY women that left my bedroom feeling like “this guy sucks”, and never came back.
The female orgasm was a mystery to me. A code that I couldn’t crack. Something I thought was reserved for stronger, higher-level men in the food chain, from a Darwinistic point of view.
Either I wasn’t large enough, or just couldn’t last long enough… that was it. I wasn’t built to satisfy women.
But I was wrong.
After that girl left me, it became my life mission to be able to make a woman orgasm. Or die trying.
Any free time I had, I obsessively researched on the female orgasm… oral sex tactics, books on the clitoris, sex forums, guides to different penetrative techniques.
I “over-studied”… and put off sex or dating for a long time before I felt I was fully ready.
When I finally had a chance that was too good to pass up and felt I was ready, I went down on her and penetrated her to TWO powerful orgasms in under 10 minutes.
It was like a dream had come true…
But I have concerned it was a fluke. I repeated this with the same girl several times, but worried if I would be able to repeat the results with other women… but I did.
And over the last 10 years or so, I’ve made somewhere between 20 and 30 women have multiple orgasms in just a few minutes… (I’m not a male gigolo; just a very horny man in Miami, a city with plenty of “resources” in the female department).
So 20 minutes to orgasm? C’mon man… here’s how to make a woman orgasm quickly.
Get Her Mind Into It – Leading Up To, and During Sex
A woman’s mind plays a very strong role when it comes to her orgasm.
A TLC episode of Strange Sex reported on a woman who was able to “think herself” into orgasm, without any physical touch at all.
Scientists put her in an MRI like a machine, studying her brain waves, and they were, in fact, identical to the overwhelming hurricane of brain activity that occurs during orgasm. She was having an orgasm just from thought.
While it took 30 minutes or so, and most women will NEVER come to this level of “self mental stimulation” necessary to have an orgasm, it does show how strongly her thoughts will influence her orgasm.
SO… send her texts telling her specifically what you’d like to do to her, throughout the day… build the anticipation. Talk dirty during foreplay, and during sex… when her mind is into it, and she lets loose, then orgasm will occur quicker.
This is also a great way to know what she likes. have you ever asked what turns her on? Different strokes for different folks. This might be shocking news but newsflash, vaginas are not made from cookie cutters, each one is unique in its own way.
Not only on a physical level is each woman different but there is also the mental aspect to consider. If she has in her mind something that she wants but isn’t getting, her body might not respond the way either of you wants. So, just ask.
Your own libido will influence her levels of arousal. If you need a little boost in the area, there is a plant called Butea Superba that is backed both by science and centuries of eastern tradition, well-known for improving men’s sex drive and overall libido.
Stimulate Her Clit Before Entering
This tip is especially important if you have problems lasting long.
Your tongue is the perfect tool to stimulate her clitoris as it has no “time clock” before it’s set to go off. Plus, the soft, warm physical sensation it provides… women love it.
Combined with some breaks for occasional dirty talk, going down on your lady will get her much closer to orgasm, so when you do penetrate, it won’t take that many stroke before she’s “gone off”.
Some women can only come with a clitoris, enjoying penetration afterwards, without a climax. Nothing wrong with that! If your partner prefers clitoris orgasm, don’t rush and make her scream just by touching and licking her tiny clit.
Ask her about her preferences. From my experience slow regular moves, without rushing nor pushing too hard works best.
No matter if you touch it or lick it, one thing is crucial: your PERSISTENCE. Repeat the same move between her legs continuously and patiently. Make her feel that you won’t stop until she screams with pleasure. She must feel it that it’s fun for you to take care of her and you will not finish in the middle of doing that. She must feel that she is melting with each stroke of your finger or tongue and slowly falling into the deep hole of pleasure.
Extra tip: finger her upper wall with two fingers, with a “come here” motion, at the same time as performing oral… this will put pressure on her g-spot, which in reality, is the internal part of the clitoral cluster.
Choose a Position That is Beneficial To the Clit
In case you haven’t noticed, the clitoris is key to the female orgasm… if you don’t put pressure on the clit, you won’t be getting her off.
Unless a woman’s clitoris is close to her vaginal opening, the doggy style will just be a fun position for you… while it will feel good for her, without a doubt, it will most likely not provide enough stimulation to make a woman orgasm… at least not anytime soon.
One of the best “you on top” positions to get a woman off is a missionary while putting pressure on the clitoris with the lower pelvis/area right above the base of your penis. Rub hard into it on the in- and out-stroke.
It’s more like a very quick up-and-down rubbing against the clit, rather than an in-and-out “banging”.
Does she know how to get herself off when on top? Just watch her, and try to duplicate a similar motion when YOU’RE on top.
Or let her get herself off on top! If she just follows her instincts, and she’s hot and horny enough, she’ll ride herself off into orgasm in just a couple of minutes, and you can get off simultaneously, or right after her, in the position you choose!
How To Hit The Fast-Forward x2 Towards Her Orgasm
It’s important that you pay attention to all of her erogenous zones as well… it’s kind of like entering a cheat code to skip levels.
If you are already penetrating correctly, or she’s on top, then sucking, pulling, spanking her “sexy parts”, preferably a few of them simultaneously (ask her what she likes; I’m sure she’ll point you in the right direction), combined with some dirty talk, and she’ll be tightening up, gyrating and vibrating into orgasm in no time.
It’s funny… when I start really putting this kind of pressure on my girl, she starts telling me “don’t finish yet”… when in reality I’m not even close!
I just play nice and say “okay, I won’t…”.
Her Satisfaction is Your Key To A Solid Relationship – Or Repeat Customer
A woman will stay in a relationship with a broke, abusive, a-hole of a guy, as long as the sex is good, much longer than she’ll stay in a relationship with the perfect man if he sucks in bed.
Good sex is the glue that keeps a relationship together, and a fundamental part of good sex is two happy customers.
Whether you want a long-lasting relationship or a friend-with-benefits that keeps on coming back, it’s important that you learn these skills… practice them, perfect them, and you’ll have a fundamental skill needed to keep women… and that most men are lacking.
If your lady does not seem to be enjoying herself as much as she could be in the bedroom, take a step back and look at the bigger picture. Ask yourself what might be going on and take some time to recognize and address it. Your sex life and your partner’s sex life will thank you!
Orgasms for everybody!
And in between I recommend getting some information about female sexuality. Staying informed is one of the pillars in your quest on how to make a woman orgasm.
5 Controversial Truths about Female Sexuality
The more I talk with guys about female sexuality, the more I realize that the majority of men have absolutely no clue about this topic. You can’t even imagine how many guys I had to listen to, who really believe that women only use sex to end up in a relationship and that they don’t even enjoy it.
Statements like this make me really sad. The only thing a guy shows me with this opinion is that he still believes the same stupid doctrine that people believed 50 years ago. Back then men believed that women didn’t enjoy sex and that they didn’t have sexual fantasies, especially when those fantasies took place outside of their marriage.
The first person who revolutionized the way our society looks at female sexuality was Alfred Kinsey with his book Sexual Behavior of the Human Female. This book was revolutionary and even thought eras, such as the flower power movement contributed even more to a better understanding of female sexuality there are still a lot of people who haven’t understood anything.
It is quite shocking that women are still judged for living out their sexual desires, even if our society pretends to be so open about everything. Whenever you turn on the TV you are bombarded with naked bodies and explicit scenes, but at the same time the men who watch those shows, still don’t understand the thoughts of the naked women they look at.
We live in a day and age in which the following five truths about female sexuality shouldn’t even be controversial. Unfortunately, we still have a long way to go and there are still a lot of things that some men need to understand.
1. Women Enjoy Sex More than Men
Whenever you ask a group of people whether men or women enjoy sex more, you will always get the same answer. Even though the sexual revolution was a long time ago, the majority of people are still convinced that men enjoy sex a lot more than women.
Men tend to be described as sex-driven and insatiable, while it is believed that women don’t think about sex all the time. Well, this is far from being the truth. The truth is that women enjoy sex at least as much as men do and a lot of sources claim that women tend to enjoy it even more.
The believe that women enjoy sex more than men goes back to the old Greek mythology that claims that women enjoy sex nine times more than men. Recent studies also show that a lot of women have such a high sex drive that some men have problems handling it. The main reason why a lot of people believe the opposite is because men tend to verbalize their desire a lot more than women, because it is less socially acceptable for women to say that they have a high sex drive.
If we are really honest we don’t even need a scientific evidence to realize that women enjoy sex more than men. Women have a clitoris. I have never seen one in real life but I have heard that the only purpose of this little thing is to give them pleasure. It is somehow unfair that we men don’t have that.
Furthermore, the only time when we men do something that could be described as screaming is during the three seconds of an orgasm. When a woman is in bed with a good lover, she screams nonstop. That doesn’t sound as if women enjoy sex less than men.
2. Women Fantasize about Group Sex
When I did my research for this article I had a look at all the sources I could find that revealed the most common female sex fantasies. One fantasy that I read about over and over again was the desire to experience group sex.
No matter if it is a threesome, a foursome or an orgy with dozens of people. Chances are high that your girlfriend dreams about those things when she sleeps next to you at night. Isn’t that somehow contradictory to the belief that women only use sex as a way to end up in relationships?
I don’t really believe that a woman who has a foursome with three men wants to end up in a relationship with all three of them, until she finally decides which one of them she is going to marry. A guy who still thinks that every woman who sleeps with him wants to be his girlfriend should stop being so arrogant.
Some women don’t want to be your girlfriend. All they want is to live out their sexual fantasies without any attachments. Sometimes they want it with one man, sometimes with two men and sometimes they even enjoy it when another woman comes into play.
3. Women Want to Be Submissive
I don’t have anything against women who want to have a successful career and who see themselves in leadership positions. However, I think that this development led to more and more men, who began to believe that women who want to be dominant in their career, also want to be dominant in the bedroom.
This is far from the truth. Every healthy relationship needs a balance between the receptive female energy and the dominant male energy. Women might want to be the leaders in the company they work for but they don’t want to be the leaders when they are in the bedroom with you.
A recent study shows that a lot of women fantasize about being submissive. The misunderstanding that women want to lead and want to be dominant has the power to ruin relationships. If a woman has the fantasy to be submissive and you as her boyfriend don’t allow her to live out this fantasy, because you assume that you are offending her when you release your dominant male energy, she will search someone who allows her to live out her fantasy.
Don’t waste your time assuming what she wants and what she doesn’t want. Talk with your girlfriend about your and her sexual fantasies and tell her that you won’t judge her for anything. As soon as she has the security that you don’t judge her for wanting something different in the bedroom than in her professional life, your sex life will become a lot better.
4. Sex is the Fastest Way to Make a Woman Fall in Love
What does a man have to do when he wants to make a woman fall in love with him? If you believe popular Hollywood movies he has to degrade himself, buy her expensive presents and tell her that he will love her until the end of his days.
Even though you can make a woman happy by giving her a nice compliment, you need a little bit more to make her fall for you. There are a lot of things you can do and a lot of individual aspects that you have to consider when you want to make a woman fall in love with you, but the best thing you can do is not to buy her expensive presents.
The fastest way to make a woman fall in love with you is by giving her mind-blowing orgasms. This might sound a little bit controversial and I know that it goes against the ideal of love that Disney taught us, but is the truth.
Women fall in love when they have sex with you, at least when the sex is good. The reason for that is that women release a hormone called oxytocin that motivates them to trust their partner, to let their guard down and to fall in love with him, whereas men release dopamine, which only increases their level of pleasure. Despite the fact that sex provides women with all kinds of amazing feelings, the release of this hormone can be seen as a main reason why sex makes women fall in love.
5. Most Women Never Have an Orgasm
Still wondering how to make a woman orgasm? Once again, most women never have vaginal one. But clit is the one to be taken care of, of course!
Even though it is true that giving women orgasms is the best way to make them fall in love with you, the sad truth is that most women will never experience an orgasm through vaginal intercourse. One study even claims that 75% of all women have this problem.
Isn’t it sad that so many women will never reach an orgasm during sex? Even though some studies say that there are women who have physical preconditions that don’t allow them to have orgasms through vaginal intercourse, there are still a lot of things you can do to make sure that your girlfriend doesn’t belong to the group of 75% of women who never reach an orgasm.
Make sure that you girlfriend trusts you and that she knows that you don’t expect her to reach an orgasm every time. Instead of motivating her to act like a pornstar in bed, you should rather encourage her to do anything she needs to relax and to enjoy the moment. This will increase your chances of making her come and of making her fall in love with you even more.