Dr. Phil says it takes a woman 14 minutes to have an orgasm… well I feel bad for Dr. Phil.
Thing is, he’s not alone with this number… I’ve seen numerous sources say that it takes a woman anywhere between 15 to 20 minutes to have an orgasm.
Well, one thing is for sure… unless you have delayed ejaculation, a woman generally does take longer to orgasm than men do.
And if you don’t warm her up, and penetrate her properly, it probably WILL take her 15 – 20 minutes to get off… and most men don’t know what the hell they’re doing when they’re in the bedroom, so either 1) the girl naturally has quick/easy orgasms, or 2) she’s putting on a performance to please her man’s ego.
Thing is, it’s not that hard to even the playing field, and make a woman orgasm simultaneously, or even before you.
My Experience With The Female Orgasm
My experience with the female orgasm was not always good… in fact it was terrible – trauma-causing terrible.
I had the love of my life leave me due to my inability to satisfy her in bed. And had MANY women that left my bedroom feeling like “this guy sucks”, and never came back.
The female orgasm was a mystery to me. A code that I couldn’t crack. Something I thought was reserved for stronger, higher-level men in the food chain, from a Darwinistic point of view.
Either I wasn’t large enough, or just couldn’t last long enough… that was it. I wasn’t built to satisfy women.
But I was wrong.
After that girl left me, it became my life mission to be able to make a woman orgasm. Or die trying.
Any free time I had, I obsessively researched on the female orgasm… oral sex tactics, books on the clitoris, sex forums, guides to different penetrative techniques.
I “over-studied”… and put off sex or dating for a long time before I felt I was fully ready.
When I finally had a chance that was too good to pass up and felt I was ready, I went down on her and penetrated her to TWO powerful orgasms in under 10 minutes.
It was like a dream had come true…
But I have concerned it was a fluke. I repeated this with the same girl several times, but worried if I would be able to repeat the results with other women… but I did.
And over the last 10 years or so, I’ve made somewhere between 20 and 30 women have multiple orgasms in just a few minutes… (I’m not a male gigolo; just a very horny man in Miami, a city with plenty of “resources” in the female department).
So 20 minutes to orgasm? C’mon man… here’s how to make a woman orgasm quickly.
Get Her Mind Into It – Leading Up To, and During Sex
A woman’s mind plays a very strong role when it comes to her orgasm.
A TLC episode of Strange Sex reported on a woman who was able to “think herself” into orgasm, without any physical touch at all.
Scientists put her in an MRI like a machine, studying her brain waves, and they were, in fact, identical to the overwhelming hurricane of brain activity that occurs during orgasm. She was having an orgasm just from thought.
While it took 30 minutes or so, and most women will NEVER come to this level of “self mental stimulation” necessary to have an orgasm, it does show how strongly her thoughts will influence her orgasm.
SO… send her texts telling her specifically what you’d like to do to her, throughout the day… build the anticipation. Talk dirty during foreplay, and during sex… when her mind is into it, and she lets loose, then orgasm will occur quicker.
This is also a great way to know what she likes. have you ever asked what turns her on? Different strokes for different folks. This might be shocking news but newsflash, vaginas are not made from cookie cutters, each one is unique in its own way.
Not only on a physical level is each woman different but there is also the mental aspect to consider. If she has in her mind something that she wants but isn’t getting, her body might not respond the way either of you wants. So, just ask.
Sometimes things don’t go so smooth as we expect them. You should never forget about how sensitive creatures women are and give your partner the additional care if she needs that.
There could be a number of reasons physiologically that are impacting her mentally and/or physically that result in her not hitting that Big O in bed.
She is Stressed
When women have a lot going on in life, especially situations that may cause them to be stressed or anxious these feelings can consume their mind during sexual intimacy and if their mind is not there, their body likely won’t be there either. First relax, later sex! Always. Women have it much more difficult to simply with off the mind.
She is Playing too Nice
Maybe she is putting your pleasure before her own? Think too much about how you feel, what you think about her look and her behaviour etc? Women tend to be very giving and generous, which is one of the many reasons why they are so awesome. However, with that said, it is time you let them know that their sexual pleasure is just as important! Can we say hello to equal sexual pleasure!
Make sure she knows how her pleasure is important for you. At the same time don’t pressure on her that she HAS to have an orgasm! It’s all about relaxing, building a better connection with another person and having fun for both of you, not about pleasing your ego. Some girls have psychological difficulties to completely losing themselves and reaching orgasm. It’s more common than you think!
Fear of Reliving Past Trauma
Sexual trauma may be a reason why your partner is not reaching her potential pleasure in bed. When it comes to sexual trauma everybody has their own way to process, in their own time. Whether it is mental or physical healing, each individual is on their own healing journey. If she asked you to give her time, give her as much time she needs. Be there for her if she decides to open up and share her past with you. Sometimes listening and hugging is all that she needs.
She didn’t Pee
As simple as that… During sex there are certain moves and positions for some women that may cause the sensation of feeling like they need to pee. And this can entirely and completely freak women out. Instead of enjoying herself she is having a mental struggle to make sure she doesn’t pee.
She’s Concerned About How She Looks
If your partner feels insecure about how they look it is less likely they will be comfortable enough to engage in sexual activity. If this is the case, let her know just how beautiful you think she is!
None of these is the case? So let’s go to the point!
Stimulate Her Clit Before Entering
This tip is especially important if you have problems lasting long.
Your tongue is the perfect tool to stimulate her clitoris as it has no “time clock” before it’s set to go off. Plus, the soft, warm physical sensation it provides… women love it.
Combined with some breaks for occasional dirty talk, going down on your lady will get her much closer to orgasm, so when you do penetrate, it won’t take that many stroke before she’s “gone off”.
Some women can only come with a clitoris, enjoying penetration afterwards, without a climax. Nothing wrong with that! If your partner prefers clitoris orgasm, don’t rush and make her scream just by touching and licking her tiny clit.
Ask her about her preferences. From my experience slow regular moves, without rushing nor pushing too hard works best.
No matter if you touch it or lick it, one thing is crucial: your PERSISTENCE. Repeat the same move between her legs continuously and patiently. Make her feel that you won’t stop until she screams with pleasure. She must feel it that it’s fun for you to take care of her and you will not finish in the middle of doing that. She must feel that she is melting with each stroke of your finger or tongue and slowly falling into the deep hole of pleasure.
Extra tip: finger her upper wall with two fingers, with a “come here” motion, at the same time as performing oral… this will put pressure on her g-spot, which in reality, is the internal part of the clitoral cluster.
Choose a Position That is Beneficial To the Clit
In case you haven’t noticed, the clitoris is key to the female orgasm… if you don’t put pressure on the clit, you won’t be getting her off.
Unless a woman’s clitoris is close to her vaginal opening, doggy style will just be a fun position for you… while it will feel good for her, without a doubt, it will most likely not provide enough stimulation to make a woman orgasm… at least not anytime soon.
One of the best “you on top” positions to get a woman off is a missionary while putting pressure on the clitoris with the lower pelvis/area right above the base of your penis. Rub hard into it on the in- and out-stroke.
It’s more like a very quick up-and-down rubbing against the clit, rather than an in-and-out “banging”.
Does she know how to get herself off when on top? Just watch her, and try to duplicate a similar motion when YOU’RE on top.
Or let her get herself off on top! If she just follows her instincts, and she’s hot and horny enough, she’ll ride herself off into orgasm in just a couple of minutes, and you can get off simultaneously, or right after her, in the position you choose!
How To Hit The Fast-Forward x2 Towards Her Orgasm
It’s important that you pay attention to all of her erogenous zones as well… it’s kind of like entering a cheat code to skip levels.
If you are already penetrating correctly, or she’s on top, then sucking, pulling, spanking her “sexy parts”, preferably a few of them simultaneously (ask her what she likes; I’m sure she’ll point you in the right direction), combined with some dirty talk, and she’ll be tightening up, gyrating and vibrating into orgasm in no time.
It’s funny… when I start really putting this kind of pressure on my girl, she starts telling me “don’t finish yet”… when in reality I’m not even close!
I just play nice and say “okay, I won’t…”.
Her Satisfaction is Your Key To A Solid Relationship – Or Repeat Customer
A woman will stay in a relationship with a broke, abusive, a-hole of a guy, as long as the sex is good, much longer than she’ll stay in a relationship with the perfect man if he sucks in bed.
Good sex is the glue that keeps a relationship together, and a fundamental part of good sex is two happy customers.
Whether you want a long-lasting relationship or a friend-with-benefits that keeps on coming back, it’s important that you learn these skills… practice them, perfect them, and you’ll have a fundamental skill needed to keep women… and that most men are lacking.
If your lady does not seem to be enjoying herself as much as she could be in the bedroom, take a step back and look at the bigger picture. Ask yourself what might be going on and take some time to recognize and address it. Your sex life and your partner’s sex life will thank you!
Orgasms for everybody!
A little bonus fun, here’s 15 scientific facts about orgasms that you might have not known before!