Men feel anxious before approaching a woman, because they are afraid of awkward silence, even more than of potential rejection.
When you’re trying to attract a woman you are interested in, any conversations that you have with her are like little games of poker. Your goal is to get her to invest an equal or greater amount of effort into the conversation because the more invested she is in your conversation the more invested she is going to be in your interaction.
All great seducers understand this. They know that sharing a great conversation with a woman isn’t just about what they say to her. They understand that it’s as much about what they can get a woman saying back to them.
It’s this conversational effort that a woman commits that will help you find commonalities between the two of you to create rapport, and help you discover unique things about her that you can show genuine attraction towards; both crucial ingredients if you are to escalate the interaction towards a romantic or sexual outcome.
So in today’s article, I want to share six conversational topics that I think are more effective than others when it comes to interacting with and attracting women.
One important thing before we start: more important than what do you speak, is how you speak. No matter what subject you choose, lways keep it fun and playful, trying to make her laugh, without trying too hard. Easier said, than done, I know. Check out our Ultimate Guide to Make Her Laugh and become authentically funnier.
1. Books, Movies, Music and Art
Let’s face it. You’re not going to have a woman baring her soul to you and sharing her hopes, dreams and deepest fears with you from the get-go. You’ll need to build a whole lot of comfort and rapport before you get there. This is why you need a few conversational topics that are low effort and still engaging to get things started. Getting a woman talking about her favorite books, movies, music or art is a great way to do so.
The trick here, however, is to not ask for too little. For example, if a woman tells you that she loves music, don’t just ask her what her favorite band is. Ask her for two songs from her favorite band that she thinks you should listen to and ask her what those two songs mean to her. Or if a woman tells you that she loves to read, instead of just asking her who her favorite author is, ask her to recommend a book to you and get her to tell you what it’s about.
Not only will this allow you to coax her into putting more conversational effort into your interaction, but it’ll also help you find out things that you both are into.
I swear to God, relationship related topics are like conversational crack for most women. And if there’s one thing that women love more than hearing relationship stories, it’s coming up with solutions to relationship problems.
So the next time you hear about your little cousin’s problems with her boyfriend or hear about your roommate complaints about his overly possessive girlfriend, make a mental note of the story and use it in conversation. You’ll be surprised with just how into these topics women can get.
3. The People Around You
Sometimes I hear a lot of guys complain saying that they run out of topics to talk about when they’re with a girl that they’re interested in. But here’s the thing. If you pay close attention to your surroundings the chances are that you’ll find more than enough conversational ammunition to last a whole day.
For example, there’s a fun little game that I love playing with girls that I’m out on dates on. I call it the “what’s their story” game. When you’re out on a date with a girl, pick a stranger at random and talk about what you imagine what their story must be like.
And then ask your date to tell you her version. Once she gets the hang of it to start getting more and more imaginative and ridiculous with your stories. I guarantee that you’ll both have a blast.
Whenever I’m interacting with a woman I always try to direct the conversation in a direction that’s fun and imaginative. I hate conversations that drab and uninteresting. And if there’s one thing I’ve learned through my experiences with women is that talking about travel always gets them feeling happy and excited.
You see, people love to travel, and those who aren’t able to travel daydream about having either the time or the money to do it. The key here, again, is to ask for more than just an impersonal list of travel destinations.
Ask her where the most exciting place she’s travelled to was and what she loved about it. Or ask her where she would go if she could disappear for an entire month without having to worry about her work or any other responsibilities. These types of conversations will get her imagination firing on overdrive and put her in an uplifted emotional state; both feelings which she will start associating with you.
5. Observations About Her
There’s a school of thought among some men who teach attraction skills that a guy should never compliment or show interest in a woman. I disagree. I believe that to truly attract and seduce a woman you need to make her feel as if she’s won you over. To do this you need to find out things about her that are unique and appreciate them. Being curious about women can significantly improve your dating life!
You see, a woman’s observational skills are often much more keenly tuned than a man, and being with a man who notices things that other men usually don’t will have a powerful effect on her.
Does she have a fashion sense that you hardly ever get to see on other women? Does she circle words that she thinks sound cute when she’s reading? Let her know that you notice these things and ask her about them. And when she tells you these stories let her know that you find these things attractive about her.
6. Her Passions, Her Dreams and Her Goals
Do you remember the last time someone showed genuine interest in your dreams and planning your goals? It’s always such a nice feeling to talk about things that you are passionate about with a person who’s genuinely interested in these things. And here’s the cool thing. Once you’ve built up a certain level of trust and rapport with a woman, all you need to do to find out these things about her is to ask.
You see, sometimes being a great conversationalist is like learning to become a mirror. The point isn’t to grope about blindly in search of things that your conversational partner to talk about. Asking about her dreams and goals can teach you so much about her personality.
You can also talk about passions and hobbies. It can be whatever! From adventurous sports you do or would like to try, like surfing, hiking some spectacular mountains through, playing music or playing board games.
The point is to learn to develop a feel for what topics get them excited and to learn to steer the conversation towards those topics. Women will feel refreshed by the genuine interest that you show in their lives and they will remember how you made them feel when talking about these things that they’re passionate about.
So keep these conversational topics in mind and make a conscious effort to practice your conversational skills, and I guarantee that you’ll see a marked difference in the quality of the conversations you share with women.