How to Start a Conversation With a Girl Online

By Patrick Banks

Posted 1 year agoDATING

It wasn’t so long ago that if you wanted to meet the girl of your dreams, you would have found her pretty much in the same joints as you. Today, things are a lot different.
How To Start A Conversation With A Girl Online

Online dating is the new way of dating and meeting new friends, maybe the love of your life! In fact, if you’re a guy, you’ll be surprised to see how many attractive, single women are looking to find the man of their dreams this way too.

But ok, now you are online, you have created a great profile; one that attracts the babes out there, right? You want to be a real ‘catch’, to be reeled in. Just remember, there are thousands of other guys with the same plan as you.

The only problem is that the high number of women who are looking for the right partner attracts an even higher number of men who dream about being that perfect partner. The competition doesn’t sleep and the more men are hoping to get a date with a woman, the more important it gets to set yourself apart from the other guys.

Saying the same things as everyone else and hoping that she replies doesn’t work. Therefore, completion is simply too high. Because I wanted to know how many messages a hot girl gets on an online dating profile I recently made the test and set up a fake profile with a sexy picture of a half-naked girl. I received over a dozen messages in the first couple of minutes.

How on earth do I get a conversation started, to make her notice ME!

Lots of online dating sites have a ‘wink’ button – that’s not a bad place to start! Because it gets the ball rolling. Let’s look at more tips:

Step 1: It’s the subject line that counts

Remember you need to be different here.

Make her want to open
your message. Some subject lines do sound ridiculous but if it’s catchy enough,
she will open it.



Ok, this one is slightly too cheesy…

What do you think of
this? “You are beautiful but why so shy?
I am not a Prince, but I am charming!”
Think she might be interested in
that – who isn’t drawn to a charming guy?

Ladies love charming
guys but have to pull the switch first with your subject lines and ensure it
has the rudiments of igniting a conversation.

What’s next? You look for a girl you are attracted to and you write her. Saying the right things to
her is important but there is one thing that she will see even before she reads
your message. The first thing a woman sees when you send her a message on an
online dating site is the subject line. Ignoring this tiny detail would be a
huge mistake.
Come on, you can be more creative than all the other guys who write a boring
“hey”, “how are you” or “hello beautiful” in the subject line. Be funny, be
playful and make her want to open your message.

Even though the following subject lines sound completely ridiculous they
actually worked with a great success rate when I used them:

10 Reasons Why You Should Open this Message

You are beautiful but why are you so shy?

I am not a prince but I am charming

Step 2: Forget the standard type messages

Guys often start off with
Hello! How are you?” type of thing. But you need to forget the same old
same old.

Rather, think about
something that makes it more personal. Then at least she thinks you didn’t just
copy and paste stuff and that you could really be interested in her.

There are many ways
to beef up a sparkling conversation with a girl without summersaulting or going
haywire.

You could start off
by first acknowledging her presence and that you are incredibly happy and
grateful for taking out time to have a little chat with you.

Something in those
lines would be a nice way to get the conversation going and then you can take
things to another level by asking her the right questions but be very careful not to go too personal.

Step 3: How’s about a compliment?

Girls like an honest
guy, but now you are online and you don’t know her all that well.

But you still want to
make a good impression. Maybe it’s best to avoid the same-old “you’re beautiful” or “you’re cute” stuff she’s tired of
hearing.

Check out her profile
really carefully – what is it that made you truly drawn to her, her eyes? Her
friendly smile?

She will be
complimented that you really noticed something special about her – she will no
doubt respond!

You have to think
outside the box and go the extra mile when it comes to complimenting her.

Step 4: There’s information she gave you on her
profile – use it

If you are really
interested in a particular girl, look on her profile at her hobbies. You can tell
her that it’s also her interests and hobbies that make you interested in her.

Most guys ignore this
vital aspect of online conversation and later blame the girl when they get
rejected or rebuffed.

There is a reason why
a profile page is on every online dating platform. It is to get to know the
person whom you are chatting with at least a glimpse of who she is.

Although many ladies
do not reveal so much about them on their profile page but you’ll almost always
find something on her profile page that can be used to start off a discussion.

Maybe her country,
region she resides, culture, etc.

There must be
something on there. You just have to peer in thoroughly.

Step 5: If you want her to reply, give her the reason
to

You have already made
it clear to her that you like her smile and that from her hobbies and
interests, you can see that she is interesting. If she has mentioned that she
loves to travel, for instance, you need to expand on that.

You can link it to
yourself, otherwise, she might just think you are talking just to impress.

Share some of your own
travel experiences with her.

By the time you meet
up with her, you might have more to chat about, showing that you are really
interested in her!

Step 6: Avoid telling her you’re new to this dating
game

Boring!  Nobody really wants to know or cares that you
are new to online dating and don’t know how it works.

Now you are focusing
all the attention on you, making yourself not really appear confident. It might
leave her awkward, trying to reassure you that everything is OK. No ways!

Remember this girl
you are trying to impress, charm and hopefully want to hear from again doesn’t
want to be your mom!

In the same vein,
don’t ask her how long has she been involved in online dating? All this boring
info doesn’t lead anywhere and why does it matter anyway?

Step 7: In saying that, don’t try to be too cool and
too cocky

It’s kind of arrogant.
And women really don’t like that – it’s a turn-off for them.

Rather use words that
make you come across a tinge vulnerable like using occasional words like
‘sorry’ or ‘probably’.

Remember these online
dating sites are a minefield for both men and women. If you come across as less
threatening, you up your game and your chances of making it into the real
world.

This means you
shouldn’t too shy or too stern in your conversation. A lady can tell if you are
trying hard to keep up the conversation pretty fast than you can ever imagine.

Step 8: Tease; be positive and outgoing

Online chats are
really ideal for light-hearted teasing – you really can also get to know a
person like this – more so when you meet her in person.

It shows a kind of
outgoingness and positivity which is attractive to a girl.

No one is drawn to a
negative person all the time. An attractive person is a happy, positive one,
sure of themselves and where they are going in Life.

Positivity will tell
in the way you converse with her and mature ladies will know right off the bat.

You need to express
yourself with confidence and if possible, attach a bit of humor.

It’ll not only make
you stand out from the others guys in her circle but get the relationship off
to a flying start. 

Step 9: Be brief

Avoid going into long
speeches about all your likes and dislikes.

Imagine you were at a
bar and a lovely girl comes up to you and starts telling you in detail all of
her favorite songs.

Huh? No thanks!

Remember to keep
everything brief and use your interests as good conversation starters. Just a
bit will do. Keep stuff upbeat and interesting.

Ladies like it when a
guy allow them do most of talking and he listens attentively to them and even
smile or laugh as they pour out their hearts.

This doesn’t mean you
should express yourself but if you must, be brief. Let her do the talking and
she’ll love you for that.

Step 10:  Remember
that your ultimate goal is to meet up with your ‘chosen’ girl in person

This means you
shouldn’t keep the messaging going on and on for too long before you ask for
her number, with the chances of meeting up. In saying that, don’t push it to be
too early either.

But if you have been chatting
for some time, it’s time to be bold and meet her – unless you had a pen pal in
mind. But that will also get old fast.

You get what you give – it’s that simple, really

When all is said and
done, the kind of responses you want from the women on the online dating site
will be what you are putting out there.

You know that saying,
“what you put in is what you get out”.

Did you give your
profile some time and interest to be attractive enough to attract the kind of
woman you want in your life?

Are the messages you send
the kind that women want to respond to?  Are
you the real deal?

Good luck!

Don’t get too
‘frantic’ if you struggle a bit. Remember the real fun is making mistakes. You learn
from them and soon your charms and great personality will hit home – Bull’s
Eye! And then you could use something like this – 

I’ll leave you with
this;

“If I had a garden, I would put my tulips and your tulips together”!

That’s what you are aiming for. So get it right!

About the author Patrick Banks

Patrick is a Berlin-based dating advisor, motivational speaker, a huge fitness and vegan diet enthusiast and the main editor at Wingman Magazine, specialised in men's health. His ultimate goal is to share with men around the world his passion for self-development and to help them to become the greatest version of themselves. He believes a healthy body and successful social interactions are two main keys to happiness.