What to Say To a Girl in Real Life? 15 Effective Phrases to Make a Girl Attracted to You

By Patrick Banks

Posted 3 years agoDATING

Approaching a girl you like may seem as the most difficult thing in the world. We’ve all been there. Despite that, the only bit of advice you’re probably getting is “just do it.” Well, just doing it is easy, but that alone is not enough.
What to Say To a Girl in Real Life? 15 Effective Phrases to Make a Girl Attracted to You

You’ll want to get her phone number at least. Not that there’s anything disastrous about being turned down. Sure, your ego might just be bruised for a day or two, but you’ll be okay by then.

Why You Should Trust My Tips?

Getting women was one of the things I struggled with growing up. Even as a handsome young man that wasn’t enough to get the girls I liked. I read different books about women, took advice from various folks, but nothing changed. In fact, I got humiliated on several occasion because I was using the wrong approaches.

From being the crazy guy, I became so famous that every girl wanted to date me. How is that even possible? Yes, things started happening fast. Guess what; I discovered the power of words and the effect it has on women.

But first and foremost, before learning any phrase which may make her attracted to you, it’s important to develop a confident mindset. For that you need to feel secure, and overcome the fear of rejection when approaching a woman.

How to Overcome the Fear of Rejection When It Comes to Dating

It happens to all of us at some point. You’ve met someone you really like and you seem to be hitting it off. You’ve been talking for weeks and you enjoy a lot of the same things. All in all, you seem rather compatible and you want to take things to the next step. You want to ask them out on a date.

But wait. What if something goes wrong? What if you build yourself up to a point when your brave enough to ask them out and they say no?

It really is a scary prospect. After all, it takes a lot of courage to look at someone you really like and ask them if they want to go out with you. What if they say no? What if it ruins the friendship you’ve built up with them at this point? But, then again, what if they say yes?

These are probably just a handful of the questions running through your head when you start planning to ask someone out. Of course, there is a lot of doubt and fear of rejection but there is also the potential that the person you like will return your feelings and overcoming these fears to ask them out is completely worth it.

So, how do you do that? How can you move past fears of being rejected and take a chance? Luckily, we have some advice for you. Today, we are going to look at what you can do to overcome the fear of rejection when it comes to dating.

Give Yourself a Chance

Sometimes one of the biggest things that can get in your way when it comes to fear of rejection is you. How many times have you thought that “well this person won’t want me because no one does”?

If you have, you aren’t alone. This mindset is rather common, especially if you are struggling with self-esteem issues. However, by doing this, you are creating a self-fulfilling prophecy in the sense that if you never put yourself out on a limb, then you will never know if someone wants to be with you.

This fear works both ways too. For example, imagine the person you want to ask out is waiting for you to ask them out because they’re too nervous to do it. Then, if you don’t ask them out, they think that you don’t feel the same way about them and you’ve both missed out on an opportunity to be happy together. If just one of you had broken this cycle of fear of rejection, you could’ve had a great time!

The moral here is to not go into it sure that you’re going to be rejected. If you’ve been talking for this long, you obviously have some sort of chance. So, when you are trying to overcome your fear of rejection, remember that the door of opportunity isn’t shut before you start. Even if it ultimately doesn’t end the way you want, your chances aren’t over before they start.

Don’t Fear Vulnerability

When you look into a fear of rejection, a huge part of that is a fear of vulnerability. After all, just hearing someone say “no” when you ask them to do you a favor or anything other than go on a date isn’t scary. So, what makes it scary the minute you ask someone you like out for a drink?

The answer is vulnerability. It isn’t easy to bare your feelings in front of other people – especially those people who those feelings are about. It really isn’t about someone not wanting to grab that drink with you. Instead, the hurt and fear lies more in the fact that you went out on a limb, told someone you liked them, and you got shot down.

To get over this fear, trying being vulnerable in baby steps. You don’t have to start with a declaration that your attracted to them right off the bat.

When you are still in the “just talking” stage with someone, take the chance to try to be vulnerable with them in little ways. For example, if they ask you why a certain book means a lot to you, tell them the truth. Of course, this doesn’t mean you should be over-dramatic or anything but a little honesty can help you get used to being a little more vulnerable with a person that you would otherwise be in your daily life.

Try Not to Fall Too Hard

When you want to ask someone out, start small. Just consider the date itself. This is absolutely difficult because when you like someone your mind automatically gravitates towards the future. What would we be like together? What would we do on our second date?

To lessen how hard rejection is if it comes, try to focus on one step at a time. After all, it’s much easier to accept that someone doesn’t want to go to dinner with you rather than a rejection of an entire relationship that you’ve built up in your head. It can be rather difficult but it can also be well-worth the time.

In the end, this is all about having realistic expectations when it comes to asking someone out. Being confident that they will want to grab dinner with you is one thing but if you expect it all to lead to marriage… well, then you might be getting a little ahead of yourself. Don’t keep your expectations low but keep them reasonable. This way, you aren’t expecting too much and if the blow of rejection does come, it’s far more manageable.

Don’t Compare Them

One thing that can really get you in a bad place when you are trying to psych yourself up to ask someone out is thinking about past rejections that you’ve had. It’s very easy to slip into the mindset that this person will reject you because the last person did.

This doesn’t just go for the last person who you asked out. It can be easy to think that someone new won’t go out with you because the last person you were with broke up with you for X reasons.

When you do this, though, you aren’t exactly being fair to yourself or this new person. The opinions that someone in your past held aren’t necessarily the opinions that someone new holds.

So, when you are about to go out with someone new or even if you are just asking them out for a drink, don’t assume that they will have the same hang ups as the previous people in your life. You might just find that the “flaws” that previous people in your life were unhappy with, this new person finds perfectly charming.

Rejection Paired with Anxiety or Depression

Rejection is hard enough on its own. However, it can be even more difficult if you are already suffering from anxiety or depression, both of which can make daily life more difficult even without the extra bearing of rejection.

The first thing to do is to be proactive. If you or those around you notice that you are experiencing symptoms of depression or anxiety for around two weeks or more, you should seek help. From here, you can access resources such as medications or therapies to get your symptoms under control so you can start to feel better and handle daily life better.

When it comes to rejection specifically, it’s important to continue your treatment course. If you stray from it, you are likely to have a harder time with the rejection and with daily life.

You should also remember that one rejection doesn’t mean forever. When your mindset is already negative due to mental illness, it’s easy to think that one rejection means that no one will ever be with you. What it usually means, though, is that you aren’t compatible with one person. Don’t allow one rejection to allow you to give up any potential future endeavors.

Accept Their Answer

If you get to the point that you need to face your fear of rejection, the best thing to do is to accept their answer with grace. If you start an argument or make a scene, then dealing with that rejection will be mixed up with feelings of regret and guilt for not respecting their wishes.

Ready to talk to her? Here is What to Say To a Girl in Real Life


So what can you do to boost your chances of getting that date? And once you are on your first date with that cute girl, how do you make sure there is a second one and another one after that?

So let’s get down to business.

The following tips from psychologists and research writers might hold the answer:

1. Do you have a moment? I’d like to hit on you.

Direct, but humorous at the same time. You break the ice without scaring her away, and by breaking the “fourth wall,” you avoid being cheesy.

2. What the one thing you would save from a house fire?

People like to talk about themselves, and girls are no exception. You will come off as a great listener, and you will get to know her better.

3. If you could have one superpower, which one would you choose and why?

Again, it’s playful, and it’s ideal for creating playful banter. Ask her why she chooses that particular one, and once she does, jokingly add how you would have chosen a better one. The conversation will develop itself after that.

4. I swiped so many times until I found you.

If you are trying to land a date online, this one hasn’t been done to death yet, and it will make your potential date feel a bit special because you’ve chosen her out of dozens of other girls.

If you are interested in the topic of what to say to a girl on Tinder, read our full article about that.

5. Do you live in this beautiful place?

Be inquisitive but don’t overdo it. Ask a girl something like this will grab her attention. Besides, you are complementing the area and indirectly doing the same for the people living in there. Women like guys that are appreciative, and you have just shown her you are one with such words.

6. I am happy to meet someone as smart as you, can I know you?

Again, women like it when you compliment them. In fact, everyone does. It is just like putting sugar in her tea, weird right? But that’s it. Saying, someone is smart means the person in question is beautiful, hardworking, attentive, and possesses great qualities.

7. Can I be of any help to you?

Kind but sometimes, expect a no from her. She might need your help but feel too shy to admit it. You don’t have to relent, take the shot while you have the chance. Insist on helping her even if she refuses. If you want to win a girl over, always show that you care. If you meet her doing something or carrying a load, you have to relieve her of the burden.

It will create a good impression about you and make her think of how helpful you will be to her when you finally come into her life. There are many things you can do for her and once you get a chance, do not hesitate to take the shot.

8. What color of dress do you love wearing most?

Asking about her belongings like what she likes wearing is one of the things you say to show you want to know more about her and that you are interested in her, too. If she tells you the color she likes, ask her why she chose that particular one. You can go a little deep by asking if she would put on that same color of dress she loves “if” you go out on a date with her.

9. If given a chance to play a song repeatedly, what would that song be?

You might have heard the word that music is food for the soul, so if she likes music, your chance of having a date with her is high. Asking her about her favorite song is like asking her about the most memorable day of her life. Her favorite song might just have a connection to a memorable day in her life. Be inquisitive but do not overstep your boundary. If she tells you her favorite song, ask her why she chose that song as well.

10. You look like someone that loves to keep pets, do you have one?

If she has a pet that she adores, then you are on the right path to winning her heart. People, especially girls, like to talk about something they own. She can go on and on without stopping. Ask her more questions about her pet and why she likes it.

Or, if you can afford to splurge a little, you can even buy something for their pet. It’s a small gesture, but can be a good way to show them that you’re serious about them and their interests.”
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11. Do you have a favorite restaurant you would love to visit someday?

Her response will let you know if she is someone that likes to eat out. Do not ask her out on a dinner date just yet. Just find out her favorite restaurant and what she loves about the place. Once you have that information, you can make better plans when looking for a place to take her for a date.

12. What is your favorite meal?

Don’t act like you own a sociology degree, but allow your questions to come out naturally. If a girl tells you about her favorite meal, tell her you would like to watch her enjoy it. You have just asked her out indirectly, and the response you get afterwards would prompt you to take the next step.

13. Have you ever tried running more than 3 hours?

If you have done some experiments like running and got some results, go ahead and share it with her. You can explain what took place after you ran for 3 hours. And if she has done the same, ask her to share her experience with you.

14. I have an unusual request but would like to send you in writing.

Now you have to be highly creative on this one. You need to write something that will make someone fall in love with you. The good thing about writing is that there is a very high possibility that she is not in haste when reading your write up, so this is the right time to win her over.

You can request for the professional help from a writing service company. You will find professionals that will give you a good write up that will persuade and make her fall in love with you faster than you think.

15. There is something special about you that I just can’t figure out

Girls like it when you make them feel special. They want to know at any time what others think of them. A girl would spend more than 5 hours in front of the mirror because she wants to look her best. However, when you ask her questions like this, she will want to find out what you think about her, and that will make her pay more attention to whatever you have to say. In fact, you have just worked on her psychology and trapped her mind too.

Women may play hard to get, but if you know your way around, you can easily make them fall in love with you. There are simple ways and phrases you can use not just to grab attention but make girls desire to go out on a date with you. We have highlighted some of those phrases to help you get any girl of your choice, now is left for you to take action to land your first date.


In your life, you will come across instances in which you have to deal with rejection. However, you can’t let this tamper your chances for something real and great. Throughout your life, you will have a hundred opportunities to go out on a limb and ask someone out.

If you don’t work to overcome your fear of rejection and instead allow it to control you, you’re going to miss a lot of chances in life. Once in a while, you are going to want to ask one of the people you’ve met out. In these moments, you potentially have a great opportunity. At this point, you will need to overcome your fear of rejection and take a chance. Remember the tips we have gone over here so you don’t miss out!

About the author Patrick Banks

Patrick is a Berlin-based dating advisor, motivational speaker, a huge fitness and vegan diet enthusiast and the main editor at Wingman Magazine, specialised in men's health. His ultimate goal is to share with men around the world his passion for self-development and to help them to become the greatest version of themselves. He believes a healthy body and successful social interactions are two main keys to happiness.