Some years ago I went to meet my college friend, Sean, who was quite popular with the ladies. As I approached our meeting place, I saw him standing in the distance and I thought: “He looks great!” Don’t get me wrong, I’m straight, but there was something striking about him and he looked fantastic.
I wondered what made him so distinctively better looking than other guys and why women were so attracted to him. At the time, my other friends and I looked quite similar; we were average looking guys who liked going out. What set Sean apart from us was his alpha male attitude and body language.
I told myself that if I wanted to become an alpha male, I should follow his example. With this “certain something” sometimes you’re born with it, but if you’re not that doesn’t mean you can’t learn something and change. I fully believe every guy can become more popular with females and get more respect from his male peers by making simple changes to his body language and behavior.
What’s an alpha male?
Your first answer might be that an alpha male is a seductive, confident man who’s appreciated by both men and women. The guy’s a leader, who openly displays his dominance and is a confident pursuer of women.
That’s true, but that’s not everything. Being an alpha male isn’t related to your appearance.
What? You don’t believe me?
How often have you seen good looking guys who still seem to be missing that “certain something?” They’re getting regularly put into the friendzone and other males don’t take them seriously. At the same time, you’ve likely seen a guy who doesn’t look as good looking but is significantly more successful.
Why is that?
Alpha male is a state of mind
Why are alpha males more attractive to females?
The well-known “Feminine Intuition” developed as humans evolved and is nothing more than an innate ability to read body language and choose a valuable partner Women don’t look for the most physically attractive male, necessarily, but they are looking for certain characteristic traits to show up in male body language.
An alpha male, by the way he carries himself, sends signals to others that he’s the leader, the strongest individual, the most valuable male in the pack. What woman wouldn’t like that?
An alpha male lives inside all men; it’s what makes us manly. There’s a big difference between the ladies and us. And women love when you show it!
Fake it until you make it
The way you carry yourself sends valuable information out into the world. American psychologist Ray Birdwhistell’s research shows that indirect conversations 35% of the information comes from words and the other 65% comes from the body.
Throughout movie history, you can find plenty of great examples of Alpha Males. Think you’re like one of them? Let’s find out!
How to Stand like an Alpha Male
Stand in front of a big enough mirror to see your entire body. Look and ask yourself if your posture expresses your masculine power? Does it display the dominant force of the most important individual in the pack? Does it project enthusiasm and confidence? If you answered no to any of these questions, you have to work on your posture and attitude.
Visualize yourself as a masculine man, who feels powerful. Your posture has to express this exactly. A crouching and hunched posture characterizes people who fear their environment. Sit and stand up straight and openly display your chest. By doing this alpha male behavior, you’ll be giving a subconscious signal to others that you’re not afraid to attack.
Place your feet apart, a little wider than shoulder width. Your whole posture should look solid and masculine. Keeping your legs apart emphasizes your sexual strength.
Keep your head confidently up and look straight ahead, not over or away from people, and not at their feet. Straighten your neck and back, it’ll give you a few extra centimeters height and also show people that you’re not afraid of confrontation.
Many men don’t know where to put their hands. Females have their bags or hair to play with, but we’re usually bare handed. Hands can send a lot of messages so you have to decide what kind of info you want to convey. Hands placed along your body’s trunk are neutral. Hands placed on your hips speak of readiness for action. When you place your hands across your chest, you look defensive and closed off. Similar messages are sent with your legs.
An Alpha male usually keeps his hands and legs open, sending non-verbal messages about his lack of fear. When he stands, he keeps his hands behind his back, displaying courage and power, openness and confidence.
If you like to keep your hands in your pockets, keep your thumbs out! If you put your hands in your pockets with your thumbs out, you’re signaling confidence and a little cockiness.
Exercise to get better posture. When you’re in the gym or at home stretching with weights, the key is learning how to pull your shoulders back. Puff out your chest and pull your neck back. Hold this position to get a full stretch. This is much more like stretching with weights than it is lifting weights.
How to walk like an Alpha Male
Whether you’re walking on the street or entering an office or bar, your walk can really make an impression on people. When an alpha male enters a room, he’s not afraid; he walks slowly, taking balanced steps. Correcting your walk doesn’t take long, just a few days and it really impacts how other people perceive you. Show people that you know your place as a man and that you have a vision for where you want to be in life.
Pay attention to how big of steps you take. Walk with moderately spaced, balanced steps. If your steps are too small you may seem feminine or like someone who’s always catching up with other people. On the other hand, huge steps imply that you’re clumsy. Take medium, shoulder length steps.
Your walk should seem controlled and balanced. The more you train your focus on walking, the more it becomes routine. Proactively train yourself to control your walk, so your habits change naturally. You can even ask a friend to record you walking to see if your steps are balanced and under control.
Don’t forget about your smile. Remember – smiling is contagious. Once you’re happy your great mood will easily spread around.
How to sit like an Alpha Male
An alpha male takes up exactly as much space as he thinks he needs. He sits straight but comforably. If he feels like sitting nonchalantly he does so with his legs up, if circumstances allow. When you sit down somewhere make sure you feel comfortable. Lean back, expose your torso and show that you’re not afraid of any confrontation.
You can put your hand on the back of a chair or the couch where you’re sitting. You can horizontally bend your left leg at the knee and rest your left ankle on your right leg, so when you get up to walk you show everyone that you’re powerful. Don’t close off your posture with your hands because it will seem like you’re trying to defend yourself.
How to look at people like an Alpha Male
Never underestimate the power of your look. They say that eyes are windows to your soul, so make sure your eyes express self-confidence, strength and have a playful sparkle.
An alpha male isn’t afraid to look directly into people’s eyes. It can be difficult if you’re not used to it, so practice. When you’re entering the room keep your head high and look at everyone. If you talk to someone, look from one of their eyes to the other, then down to their mouth. This keeps your eyes moving and focused on your conversation partner.
Work on your attitude, because if you’re worried about something or you’re afraid it’ll show up in your eyes. It doesn’t do you any good. Just let go of your worries; you can’t solve any problem by worrying anyway. Simply focus on your conversation and don’t be afraid of looking into your counterpart’s eyes. Please, don’t stare though.
How to Behave Around Women like an Alpha Male
Your behavior around women depends on your personal style. Women like men who feel comfortable in their own skin, so your behavior should help you feel your best. An alpha male has high self-esteem and doesn’t care too much what others think about him and he isn’t afraid to behave like he wants. He expresses his opinions, needs and desires in a direct way.
Even in front of a beautiful woman he never sees himself as someone who’s out of her league and he isn’t overwhelmed by interaction. He can appreciate her beauty and truly want her but he doesn’t need her.
He likes to tease women and isn’t afraid of physical contact. Women love men who are a bit naughty and playful. Exactly the same as you like easy going and flirty women! An alpha male fully enjoys the company of a beautiful girl and let’s his inner animal free.
He’s playful but never crosses lines of savoir vivre or good manners. Depending on your culture there’s generally nothing wrong with playful touching or hugs, but grabbing someone’s ass would obviously be considered unacceptable.
They’re aware that women love gentlemanly males with great manners and expansive knowledge. Catch up on some old movies and acquire some basic notions on how a true gentleman behaves: how to smoke cigarettes, let a woman enter the room first, take her coat and etc. You can even light a cigarette for her. It all depends on the situation but it’s always better to have too good of manners than to seem, well… ignorant.
An alpha feels 100% manly so he likes to make it known who the man in the relationship is on each date. It comes naturally, by chance. He doesn’t have to say it, but women simply feel that he’s the strongest.
Talk to a lot of women, not so good-looking and pretty, older and younger. Get comfortable with female company. But always keep in mind that you’re a 100% strong, confident MAN and act like one. Women will love you for it!
Becoming an alpha male is a complex process and changing your body language is just part of it. Take care of your body to look as good as you can so you can carry yourself with confidence and feel great in your own skin. Follow your passions and always seek to broaden your mind to simply become a better person.