How to Gain Confidence With Women

By Patrick Banks

Posted 2 years agoDATING

confidence around woman, confident man

Confidence is probably the most sexually attractive trait you can have. Confident men aren’t afraid of offending other people. They do and say what they want because their opinion of themselves is more important to them than the opinions of others.

How do you express your confidence?

Where does social confidence come from?

Basically, confidence is learned competence.

So once you become competent in social situations, you will feel comfortable talking to everyone.
After you have made an effort to flirt with more women you will get better at it. Not only because you are developing your social skills, but because you are developing some very confident mindsets. Such as:

1. You always have Options

Too many men live in scarcity. They are afraid of messing up their chance to attract this one woman they like and as a result they are only capable of talking about the most boring unattractive things with her.

If you believe you have an abundance of options then you are taking the dominant role in your interactions. You aren’t afraid of her opinions of you because you know even if this one girl isn’t attracted to you, that you have lots of other opportunities to find someone who actually respects and adores your personality and opinions.The man with the abundance mentality has lots of options. By having options he is free to do whatever he wants. That freedom is very attractive.

The man who lives in scarcity is constantly worrying what women think about him. He is desperately begging for approval.

A man with no options also has no standards. He will settle for any woman who shows interest in him. By having high standards for the women you date you are demanding respect for your expectations of women.

Women are just people. You don’t need to think they are so special, no matter what she looks like.

2. Want her but don’t Need her

You need air or you will die. You need food or you will die. But do you really need any particular woman in your life? No. You won’t die without her. You don’t need any one person that badly. She is not essential to your survival.

It’s ok to want her. But when you mistakenly believe you need her then you are setting yourself up for disappointment.
We don’t need to attach importance to the attention we get from women. If a girl I am attracted to comes out on a date with me and we have a great time, that’s great. But if she doesn’t want to spend more time with me, it’s her loss and it doesn’t need to affect my emotions.

Want her.

But don’t need her.

3. Socialize with All Women

A was at a party once and I was flirting with a fat girl. My friend asked me, “Why the hell are you talking to a hippo?” Later that night I took home the most attractive girl at the party.
Be social with everyone, not only women you are attracted to.

Let’s say someday you do have an extremely attractive girlfriend. Wouldn’t she find it strange if you are only willing to talk to physically attractive women but unattractive girls?
Still have standards. I socialize with everyone. I will talk to physically not so attractive girls as long as they have fascinating personalities and are fun to talk to.
Being social with more women also helps you develop your abundance mentality.

Talk to girls all the time. Go to social events, start practicing daygame and talk to girls in the daytime. There are women to socialize with everywhere.
If you want attractive girls then you should be comfortable socializing and flirting with women no matter how physically attractive they are or not.

Men who only want to socialize with the most attractive girls actually improve their social skills the slowest. Because they aren’t practicing their social skills and charm as often as men who are friendly and social with everyone.

Yes you have standards and preferences, but it doesn’t mean you need to ignore interesting women capable of very entertaining conversation just because it bothers your ego.
Social experience is essential to improve your sense of humor, confidence and social charm.

The more experience you have interacting with all girls the more ability you will have to attract the ones you actually want.

4. Take Action

How many opportunities to attract a woman have you lost?

How many times have you seen a girl and felt yourself preparing to open your mouth to talk her to hesitated and have been asking yourself, “what if?”

How many times have you avoided talking to a girl even after she smiled at you!?

I’ve done that a few times. Some are even stuck in my memory. Reminders that I should only fear regret.
Every interaction is always a success. There is always something new you can learn.

Maybe you learn you should speak more slowly, speak louder, smile or to improve some other aspect of your social skills. If you have something to improve on, then work on it.
We are often afraid to approach women we are interested in because we are afraid of negative social feedback. Inside, we usually want everyone to like us. But remember, you don’t need other people’s opinions of you. You only need to listen to your own opinion of yourself. That doesn’t need you can avoid improving yourself. It is just an honest way to be confident.
You can’t get your dream job if you don’t even show up for the job interview. You can’t get your dream girl if you are afraid to approach any girl.

Stop throwing away your opportunities!

You need to want success in life, success with woman as much as you want to breath.

Additionally, you may also want to improve yourself. For example, a simple visit to a dentist to enhance your smile can already go a long way in boosting your confidence. If you don’t know where to start, a quick search for terms like “dentists boynton beach fl” or “dentist near me” will provide you with some options.

5. Ambitions

A man with no ambitions is focused on avoiding pain and risk.
A man driven by his ambitions does what he loves. He lives for his vision of his ideal life and keeps striving for it.
What do you have in your life that you are passionate about?

It could be music, travel, photography, a sport, reading, writing or whatever. You hopefully have something more specific in mind.
You are living for yourself. Every action you take somehow supports you. Are you doing what you really want to do with your life?

Be passionate about your goals because they are the things you really care about. By having a purpose and ambitions that you are passionate about you are extremely attractive. Your attention will be focused on your goals, and women will compete for that attention.
Wake up every day excited to be living your life.

About the author Patrick Banks

Patrick is a Berlin-based dating advisor, motivational speaker, a huge fitness and vegan diet enthusiast and the main editor at Wingman Magazine, specialised in men's health. His ultimate goal is to share with men around the world his passion for self-development and to help them to become the greatest version of themselves. He believes a healthy body and successful social interactions are two main keys to happiness.