What to Say On Tinder to A Girl? Tinder Opening Lines & Conversations With 90% Response Rate!

By Patrick Banks

Posted 4 years agoDATING

Well, it’s official. Everyone I know either has Tinder on their phone, has it installed and doesn’t want to admit it, or is a nun. Heck, even I have it, and I hate the concept of online dating. But I’ll admit that Tinder has its charms.
what to say on Tinder

But how good are you with your Tinder charms?  What to say on Tinder to a girl? Are you able to ignite a little more than curiosity in your matches or are you the type of guy that gets featured on one of those “embarrassing Tinder stories” articles?

Well, if you’re hanging your head in shame right now, don’t worry. In today’s article, I’m going to be sharing a few thoughts on what it takes to master the art of the Tinder message with read to apply exaples of what to say to a girl on Tinder to win her interest.

So you’ve crafted the perfect bio on tinder, finally, every girl out there knows you’re number one in the world at pillow fighting and that your hips don’t lie congratulations! But now what?

What to Say On Tinder to a Girl to Keep Her Interested?

The thing that can make or break you in the ‘wonderful world’ of Tinder is what you say, “hi, how are you?” maybe the bread and butter of the conversation world but women don’t want bread and butter, they want ham and cheese or probably a pizza. So what do you say on tinder to a girl?

The scenario: you’ve just matched with “smoking hot” Sarah, you wait a few minutes because you don’t want to look as eager as a pig at feeding time and now you want to grab her attention… I don’t know about you but when I want to grab someone’s attention I usually shout their name and surprisingly (or not) this works on tinder.


Suddenly there’s a million questions going through her head but one thing’s for sure; Sarah wants to know what you want. It doesn’t matter if she answers with: yes? Hello? What? Why are we shouting? Or by shouting your name back, you’ve got her attention.

Soon I will share with you my tested strategies about what to say on tinder to get her interest and shift the aquaintance into sometjing real. But before you start to have a real conversation with her, you need to start a conversation with her… Here are:

The 7 Best Tinder Opening Lines That Will Get You A 90% Response Rate

So here’s the thing; some women might tell you that a simple “Hi, how are you doing?” will work. But in all honesty, unless you follow a generic message like this up with something mighty funny or mighty interesting the chances of you getting anything more than a couple of polite responses are slimmer than one of those Victoria Secret models. So set yourself apart from the throng.

Don’t be generic/ boring

Wondering what to say on Tinder to a girl? One of my favorite ways to open on Tinder is with something funny. You see, at the end of the day the first message isn’t really about what you say. It’s more about what kind of vibe you convey. So if you can get a girl giggling from the get go you’re off to a great start.


 “Hey how’s your day so far? I just got a haircut without running it by my mum. I feel like such a baddass.”


“Hey, what have you been up to today? I just saved a baby duck from drowning.”

I’m not saying that you should use these exact lines each and every time, but you get the idea.

Don’t be creepy

I’m really not sure if any guy ever has gotten anywhere with one of those creepy Tinder lines like “If I flipped a coin, what are the chances of me getting head?” but it still surprises me every time I read a Tinder horror story about some creepy guy going from 0-100 within the first few seconds.

So seriously, when wondering what to say on Tinder to a girl, do yourself a favor and stay away from anything that you wouldn’t say out loud to a person in real life.

Instead try something cocky and flirty. Like:

“Hey. So when are friends ask us how we met, what are we going to tell them?”


“Hey so let’s just skip to the important stuff. What’s your favorite Spice Girls song?”   


“Single, white male looking for a getaway driver for various crimes. Must like kittens.”

Don’t write an essay

Part of the fun of Tinder is that it’s just so damn fast. So don’t be the party pooper that sends a page-and-half long essay as your first message. Actually come to think of it, save the life story for when you’re on your fourth date. Writing twenty seven lines and getting a “that’s cool” in response is just embarrassing for both parties.

So once again, when wondering what to say on Tinder to a girl, do yourself a favor and stay away from anything that you wouldn’t say out loud to a person in real life.

Don’t comment on her appearance straight away

Here’s the thing about good looking women – they know that they’re good looking. It’s literally the first thing, and sometimes the only thing they hear from most men. So every time you tell a complete stranger that she’s drop dead gorgeous or that her body is a 10, it just glides over her like a song she’s heard a thousand times. And by not commenting on her physical beauty straight off the bat you let her know that you’re not intimidated by her looks.

This might sound a bit hypocritical because at the end of the day Tinder is largely (if not entirely) based on a person’s looks. But this is just how the game works, so do yourself a favor and play it right.

That said, it can also work in your favor to OK for notice and comment on something unique about a woman’s style or beauty that most guys probably don’t pick up on.

For example, I once matched with a woman wearing a cute boater hat and I sent her a message saying, “Hey, I like the way you wear your hat. It makes you look like you’re plotting something. Want to help me kidnap three puppies?” 

Don’t try too hard

If there’s one mistake that a lot of men make on Tinder it’s that they tried too damn hard. What they forget is that just the fact that they matched with a woman is an indicator that there is something about them that a woman finds curious, interesting or attractive.

So instead of worrying about having to attract your Tinder matches, instead focus on finding things that you’re both into and can base a romantic adventure off.

In fact, sometimes if a girl seems into you right off the bat, you can actually end up shooting yourself in the foot by trying to “game her.” So if a girl is giving you a lot of indicators of interest straight away, simply cut to the chase and ask her out.

“So we’re 5kms apart. I’m pretty sure we can find a dingy old bar somewhere between us to watch old people get drunk off their pensions. What’s your number?” 

Comment on things that interest you

OK, I’ll admit it. There are some pretty darn hilarious Tinder pickup lines out there, and even I use them after tweaking them around a bit. But seriously,  when wondering what to say on Tinder to a girl, do yourself a favor and stay away from anything that you wouldn’t say out loud to a person in real life.

Here’s the thing. If you came across the line on a website for the funniest Tinder openers, the chances are that the girl you’re sending it to has either read it herself or has already heard it from someone else.

So instead of treating your Tinder matches like generic sales calls, personalize your approach. Go through a girl’s pictures and actually read her bio. Look out for things that fascinate you. And when you find something, comment on that. Makes for a much smoother interaction and seduction in my opinion.

For example, once I matched with a girl who had a picture of herself sitting on a balcony looking out at a beautiful sunset. So I sent her this message:

“Picture 3: Rachel gazed over the crimson sky as she silently wondered what she was going to have for dinner that night.” 

Worked like a charm!

Or you could try something even goofier, like:

“So we both like Harry Potter. If we ever end up role-playing I want to be Dobby.” 

Don’t take things too seriously

Getting matched with a gorgeous girl on Tinder is a pretty cool feeling. But always remember, a specific interaction not working out is not the end of the world. So start taking things a little lighter. Always be willing and ready to poke fun at yourself. Be accepting of all types of people you talk to. And above all, just focus on having a good time with whomever it is you’re talking to.

Ok you make a great start, what’s next?

What to Say On Tinder to A Girl After Making a Great Start

Now comes the fun bit, talking to her and my best advice here is if you’re not having fun neither is she, so let’s go through some basic concepts:


When wondering what to say on Tinder to a girl,  remember to keep it playful. It has to be fun, hasn’t? Let me remind you about the Roleplay concept.Completely underrated, I cannot tell you how many fake marriages I have saved by telling a girl on tinder that I have bad news, the divorce papers have just come through, the court date is Saturday and I’m keeping the dog.  Something about fictitiously telling a girl you’re leaving makes her fight for the relationship you never had (or at least the dog).

The great thing about roleplay is that you can play these characters, you can ask her how things got so bad, you can remind her of that trip to Paris with the romantic dinner where she had indigestion and you can tell her the sex was too good and you were fired for missing work. It’s fun, it’s interesting and most of all with an unlimited set of previous experiences you always have something to say.

Finding Common Ground

The title is a bit misleading because this is what I like to call “certain common grounds”

Simply say, “Can I ask you a question (beautiful)?” followed by, “have you ever…” and fill in the blank with something along the lines of:

  • Been to Antarctica?
  • Won a Nobel Prize?
  • Solved world hunger?

You get the point, regardless you’re looking for a no. Once you have that ever important ‘no’ you hit her with, “no way, neither have I, we have so much in common!”

It’s a beautiful little trick that can work anywhere in a conversation; as an ice breaker; as a pick-me-up in a lull; anywhere really.

Make Boring Questions Interesting

This is a very important concept, take boring, mundane questions and turn them into unique and interesting ones.

When girls hear the everyday questions like, “how are you?” they all turn on auto-pilot and give their pre-written, pre-determined, vanilla answers (and so they should). How much effort and imagination does it take to come out with a question like how are you? None and so the response matches the question. Instead of asking a predictably dull question add just a little imagination and it can go a long way.

“Did anything make you smile today?” Suddenly she’s off auto-pilot and you’ve got her thinking (don’t be surprised if you get, “you,” as a response to that question).

You can do this with any question, just take two seconds to think of another way to approach it and if you can’t think of a question look at what she just wrote, girls will always add things in to responses that they want you to ask questions about, you just asked her about her favourite film and she brought up that she does ballet, coincidence? No! People like others to take an interest in them so just read between the lines a little buddy.

Talk With Passion

Girls love a man who is truly passionate about things he does; says and thinks. Nothing can kill a conversation more than an unpassionate response such as, “I work in accounts, it’s alright,”

No! Just stop! If you can’t get enthusiastic and passionate about something then neither can whoever you’re talking to, energy is contagious so convey the energy you want to be reciprocated. “Not to impress you but I’m basically Sherlock Holmes for numbers,” is a much better response.

If you’re not passionate about something then the trick is to talk about things you are passionate about, if she asks about your job and you hate it more than taking a cheese grater to the family jewels then jokingly say something like, “if I told you that I’d have to kill you,” in fact, come to think of it, you can use that to get out of any unwanted questions… Mr Bond.

Be Cheeky

First thing’s first, you need to know the difference between banter and just being an idiot, being cheeky is when you ask her what she’s doing today, she replies with, “nothing,” and you say, “that’s far too exciting for me, I’m going  sky diving today but I’m sure that’s too boring for you”.

Being an idiot is in the same situation replying with, “that’s a f***ing s*** answer, try again,” while some girls might take the second one as a joke, most girls will just hate you and I wouldn’t be surprised if you ended up on a tinder fail page along with the self-admitting bed wetter’s.

The key to being cheeky in conversation is keeping a girl on the cusp where she doesn’t know if she wants to kiss you or slap you so saying, “if you play your cards right I might treat you to anything off the menu at McDonalds,” is the right area.

Fake Romance

We live in a world where every girl wants a prince charming but if you say you want to like under the stars, holding hands, staring at the night sky, you’re a weirdo.

The trick to giving girls what they want but not being a weirdo is doing it in a joking way. You want to be doing the equivalent of saying that in an overly romantic voice then breaking out into laughter halfway through because you can’t take it seriously anymore; this way the girl gets to live out this fantasy in her imagination but she knows you’re joking and so you’re not a weirdo (it’s a win, win).

The best example of this is the romantic dinner in Paris from before, “do you remember Paris? The candlelit dinner under the stars, you stared into my eyes, leaned in close to my ear and whispered, ‘I have indigestion,’ oh the romance,” builds this fantasy in her head but makes her know you’re joking.

Future Plans

This is an easy one, if you’re throwing future ideas for dates (even if you don’t say it explicitly) then it makes a girl know you’re interested in doing things together. Even if you don’t do these dates, the idea of them in a girls head means she is mentally acting them out plus girls always like a guy with great date ideas.

For example; say a girl has just told you she loves vodka, you tell her: “There’s this vodka bar I have to take you to some time, they have every flavour you can think of, popcorn, caramel, old socks… it’s ok we all know you want the sock flavour,” in her head she’s already planning the trip with you.

Putting Words in Her Mouth

This is one of my favourites and I guess it fits under being cheeky but I’ll treat you to a paragraph because I spoil you guys.

There are a few ways you can go about this, you can correct her so if she says, “you’re quite funny,” you can reply with, “*the most hilarious guy who has ever existed, awwww thanks,” or you can put words in her mouth.

e.g. “What’s that? You want me to sneak into your window tonight? WOW that’s forward of you but okay then… if I have to”.

Cheeky and effective.

After a bit of talking it’s worth taking her number to build a closer conection over the phone. Especially if you have a great deep voice!

What to Say To A Girl On Tinder to Ger Her Number (Works Everytime)

Are you looking for a way to get girls’ numbers on Tinder?

Maybe you’ve been chatting with some women lately and you want to get their number to have a more private conversation.

Nothing’s smarter than this.

In fact, if you keep talking to girls only on Tinder you can lose a lot of potential dates. That’s because Tinder is full of men and girls are hit up by dozens of them every week.

To differentiate yourself from the competition is necessary to level up your game and start hunting like a pro. 

Many men try to find ways to get a girl’s number on Tinder. Some of them by being shameless and asking for it straight out of the gate. 

Other men try sending a follow-up message after a date to get her number. 

So, what’s the best strategy? Keep reading.

She Gave Me Her Number But…

Back in 2019, I was a single man looking for my next partner online. 

During one cold winter night, I had matched with a girl on Tinder that seemed interested in me from the very beginning.

Alice (her name) and I spoke for less than 10 minutes until she decided to give me her number, after a few lines. 

I was surprised and happy at the same time because I felt closer to having conquered her.

This had changed my behavior with her, letting me reveal to her that she had been too fast with me.

That was a mistake.

Seeing my reaction, where I explicitly told her she was fast in giving me her number, she was annoyed by my assumptions on her.

That’s when she proposed to me to talk via email.

Can you imagine that? It was a lengthy process, however, I eventually had managed to set a date with her.

On the date, she remarked that she didn’t like the prejudice I had over her since she gave me her number fast.

That’s when I learned one important lesson about girls: never judge them.

In the next section, you’re going to learn how to get a girls’ number on Tinder without making the most common mistakes men make.

Let’s start!

Tip #1: Take it Easy

To get a girl’s number on Tinder, you must show that your intentions are not just about hooking up.

I know this might sound counterintuitive but that’s how girls’ brains work. If they see that you’re too hungry to get in between their legs, then your success chances will be highly impaired.

There are many principles you can follow to smoothly take a girls’ number on Tinder:

  • Use emoticons to establish common ground at the beginning of the conversation.
  • Ask questions that are open-ended and invite them to talk more about themselves.
  • Share some of your story and personal information with them for them to feel closer to you.
  • Show your vulnerability by sharing a negative experience or mentioning something that you’re insecure about, but do it in a way that doesn’t make it seem like an attack on them.

Try those tips and see how things will change for the better.

Tip #2: Use Scientific Persuasion

As Robert Giardini, an American psychologist and best seller author discovered, it’s essential that to improve your persuasion success, you must provide a reason after making a request.

It has been seen (by his experiments) that by doing this, the compliance rate goes to the roof.

This occurs both in business and in personal relationships, as well as on Tinder.

How can you apply these tips to increase your chances of getting a girl’s number on Tinder?

Ask a girl for her number and then tell her why you want to get her number. In practice, give her a reason to justify your request.

The most common reason you can use is telling the girl that your Tinder is very busy as you have lots of chats open and you might miss hers.

That way you do two smart moves in one.

1: First of all, this shows her that you have a lot of things going on in your Tinder and that you’re not a desperate and needy guy.

2: Secondly, you let her know that you don’t just want her number because you want to sleep with her. That will take lots of the pressure off her and make you look less intimidating.

When I started practicing this, I noticed that girls were more open to my next moves when they saw I wasn’t in a rush.

That’s why this simple move you’ll gain value in her eyes while increasing the chances of getting a girl’s number on Tinder.

Tip #3: Set Up a Date Beforehand

Many men focus on getting the girls’ number as the sole purpose of their conversation. However, if you think about it that’s not the real objective a man has with a girl.

So why focus on actively getting her number when you can get it indirectly?

After all, the worst mistake that guys make is expecting a girl to give them her number after just one chat. 

The truth is that she will not give it to you if she doesn’t feel that there is anything more than what she is getting through the chat.

That’s why you should ask for a girls’ number when you already set a date with her and she’s warmed up.

If you can create a promise of a good date with a girl, she will be in a much more comfortable state to leave you her number.


Because she can already taste how the live experience with you is going to be. In a few words, she’s going to create a movie in her mind of pleasurable moments with you.

If you’re able to let her do this, she might ask you to give her your number as it often happens to me.

If you want to get a girl’s number on Tinder like a pro, that’s your way to go! 


Getting a girl’s number on Tinder is easy if you know the right way to do it. Always remember to take things slowly because that’s the key to success with girls as things need to blossom like a flower.

Which tip did you like the most?

Comment below.

Dating is a lot more different that it used to be before social media existed. Fair to say the reality is that there is never been a better time to date. 

But let’s face it! Many people cannot seem to really understand the rules of this game and they just don’t know how to fit in. 

Finding a match in Tinder is actually not “a match” if you fail to get a realistic outcome from it. In other words, why would you call a match if you never manage to get her number or go on a date.

By now, we’re sure you’ve gone through a dozen of stupid websites which try to sell you the same superficial advice even claiming to be scientifically proved. As a result, you may have ended up hopeless about your dating life. Admit it, at some point in our lives many of us very in pretty much the same situation. 

Now let’s leave the science behind for a while because in the end it is just a matter of simple principles which we have been avoiding all the time (uncounsciously indeed).

In conclusion

The most important thing to remember from all of this is ‘if you’re not having fun then neither is she’ just make sure you’re enjoying yourself, drive the conversation in the direction you want, give out the energy you want back and don’t take it too seriously. Follow these guidelines and you’ll be every girl’s pizza in no time.

If you REALLY want to get your online dating game to the next level, you should check out this playbook here.

About the author Patrick Banks

Patrick is a Berlin-based dating advisor, motivational speaker, a huge fitness and vegan diet enthusiast and the main editor at Wingman Magazine, specialised in men's health. His ultimate goal is to share with men around the world his passion for self-development and to help them to become the greatest version of themselves. He believes a healthy body and successful social interactions are two main keys to happiness.

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