Have you ever wondered: this girl is cute, it’s a shame I don’t know if she likes me or not? I don’t know about you, but I often think that people should send clear signals about whether they like us or not. That’s basically how the new dating app Tinder works.
It’s become extremely popular even among those who would have never considered online dating. Recently at the Olympic Village in Sochi, where some of the most athletic and attractive people in the world were concentrated, hooking up became incredibly easy thanks to Tinder. Even the gorgeous female snowboarder, Jamie Anderson, mentioned Tinder in an interview saying: “Tinder in the Olympic Village is next level. It’s all athletes! In the mountain village it’s all athletes. It’s hilarious. There are some cuties here!”
How to pick up girls on Tinder
There are a lot of guys on tinder, and, lets face it, they’re not all special snowflakes. Optimizing your profile, applying tinder dating tips and using good opening lines are the keys to success!
STEP ONE: Choose the right pictures
Since Tinder is essentially a photo-based app, your profile pictures have an extremely high impact on whether or not you will find matches. If your profile picture sucks, girls might not be inspired to find out more about your great personality!
Choose at least three good pictures.
First picture: face
Keep in mind that girls are swiping much faster than guys. Attractive girls in big cities usually have so many matches that they rarely view second pics if they don’t like the first one. Make sure your first pic is best!
It should show your face, without sunglasses, with a friendly smile. Don’t use a selfie. If you do use one, make sure it doesn’t look like one.
Second picture: posture
It’s important to include a picture that displays your stature. The second picture can be with a group of friends or some other reference point, where girls can see your posture. Choose a picture that compliments your body type.
Third picture: interests
If you have an interesting hobby, the third picture is where to show it! Make your pictures personal by displaying your interests, favorite sports, or your lifestyle. Women like men that are passionate. One picture will do!
-If you’re good at skiing, surfing, or riding a motorcycle, show it with just ONE picture. For example, I’m more open to guys who share my interest in climbing. When I see a guy on a climbing wall, I’m eager to swipe right.
– If you’re an office guy, it’s okay to have one picture with you in a nice suit, but the rest should be casual, so you don’t look boring.
– If you like travelling, have one picture with you in front of an amazing landscape.
– If you’re an artist use your third picture to display your talent such as playing the piano or painting.
You have to look as attractive as possible, but this doesn’t mean girls expect you to look like an Abercrombie model. It’s fine if you’re just a regular guy, but some guys’ pictures look like they purposely planned to repel girls! Check and make sure you’re not one of them.
STEP TWO: Perfect profile description
Don’t leave the BIO empty
It’s not a good time to be mysterious. I don’t recommend to write a book (1-3 sentences are definitely enough). Unless you really have nothing to say or are just incredibly good looking, don’t leave the BIO section empty.
Tell the truth because the point is to eventually meet people in real life. If you have a cool job or know some interesting facts discuss them in the BIO. Get a conversation going. Be a little different, something witty or funny usually works best. It’s about engaging emotions and not just providing a dry resume.
If you have an interesting job or passion, show it off. She has just a few seconds to decide, so make sure you sell yourself well.
– New York based graphic designer
– Surfing and travelling addict
NOTE: Don’t use clichés! Are you passionate about food or music? Great!! Exactly just like 99% of the population… Find something unique or try another type of bio.
It’s good to mention what city you’re from when using Tinder. Most girls want to meet somebody who they can meet up with regularly in the future. If you are just travelling through, tell the truth, and maybe if she’s interested things will go faster. It may also give you the added value of being “exotic” and a “now or never” opportunity.”
– Berlin based, 6’2″, former professional athlete.
– British. In Chicago for the weekend
For girls, height is important. We may be afraid that a guy will be shorter than us. Be sure in the beginning to be honest about your height. This will help you to avoid mutual disappointment when meeting your match for the first time.
– Tall enough for your highest hills. Willing to lie about how we met
You can also laugh about your height and write a ridiculous number like:
If you’re not 6’2“, don’t live in a cool city or have an exotic job, stick with something funny or edgy. Girls want to be entertained and see that you’re not some boring dude. These lines have been tested and proven to work well:
– Wanna hook up in the back of my parents’ minivan?
– Let’s say we met fighting over the last strawberries in the farmers market. Have you ever been?
– FAQ – Frequently Asked
Q: 1. Are you just an asshole like everyone else on here?
A:I’m different enough to tell you that it’s worth finding out in person.
Q: 2. What do you do for a living? I prefer not to talk about through Tinder. Just in case we’re under surveillance. But mostly whatever puts a smile on my face, like going out for a drink with you would.
Q: 3. How was your weekend?
A:Excellent. I managed to elude the authorities yet again and make it safely to work.
This ones risky, but might work, if she has a sense of humor:
– Is your name Google? Cause you’re everything I’m searching for.
Simple lines often work best. You can just write:
– I can fix it, Baby! (very comforting and masculine)
– Polite as f*ck. (if you want to come across as playful).
Girls don’t like to feel that you’re deploying pick up lines at random. They want to feel that you’re paying attention to them. But somehow these pickup lines seemed to work the best! At least they provoked reactions from most girls! They probably thought: “Is this guy serious?” They were curious, so they responded. They finally got something different than a question about what they like or what they do.
We tested sending 2 types of messages to 20 different girls. 10 of the matches were approached with the usual, general message about how they were enjoying the weather. Only 2 replied. Using oddball pickup lines, 7 out of 10 girls replied within the first 2 hours! Sometimes they got the joke, sometimes they didn’t, but at least further conversation could follow!
It’s better to provoke some reaction than fade into background with all of the other “hi, how are you” guys. If you use a pickup line, make sure it’s funny enough for her to understand that you’re not serious. It has to come from a comfortable place that shows your sense of humor. If you’re insecure and don’t know how to flirtatiously tease her later on, you’re better off sticking to normal questions.
Avoid tacky quotes or douchey or cheesy lines such as:
– Waiting for my Tinderella
– If you need a hug, swipe right
– “Life is a notebook. You move the pencil”
Check out our article about the best tinder pickup lines.
Add more interests on Facebook
I would also suggest adding a few more Facebook likes for music, books, and films. If you have 100 likes rather than just 10, you increase the chance of sharing “common interests” with potential matches. It can’t hurt, and girls will appreciate knowing your likes and dislikes.
STEP THREE: You have a MATCH! How do you start a conversation with a girl on Tinder?
What to say to a girl on Tinder?
– Show her you’re interested BUT don’t seem needy. Being a charity case won’t get you very far.
– Opening lines on Tinder should focus on how they’ll have a great time hanging out with you.
– The best lines trigger emotional responses. Then girls will come looking for you!
The usual “hi, how are you” is boring. She probably gets hundreds of “hi’s” each day. Try being creative and put in some effort. Longer messages always out perform shorter ones.
If she has something interesting in her picture or bio, mention that. If she says she enjoys travelling, ask her where she took her last trip. If she likes sports, ask her which sport she prefers. Maybe mention that you like the expression on her face in her third picture, or that she looks cute in the picture with a dog etc.
– Sarah! We already have a couple things in common! I love/need coffee to function and I definitely enjoy travelling (but who doesn’t :P) Where are you from? And what do you do in Berlin? Jack.
– Like your smile Sarah. Especially in your third pic. It looks like you were happily surprised.☺
– Hi Sarah! How are you doing? Any plans? Great pictures, especially the one on the cliff! It looks like it was taken in California.
If she doesn’t have anything to comment on specifically, or you’re just too lazy to get creative–try a few of the following lines. Test them out and choose what works best for you:
– Hey *name*, would you rather fight 100 duck-sized horses or one horse-sized duck?
– Hi, have you seen my white horse?
– Should we tell our grandparents we met on tinder?
They are meant to be nonchalant and weird and provoke an emotional response from her.
At some point, she’ll ask what you do for a living. Have an answer prepared ahead of time.
– “Beginning a new business endeavor soon” sounds better than
– “I’m unemployed and unsure about what to do next.”
Try not to exaggerate. Once I talked to a guy that said he was the CEO of a new startup. It turned out that he actually sold juice from a kiosk in the Sunday farmer’s market. The way he presented his job was just ridiculous!
STEP FOUR: How to find out if she looks good in real life
Girls have millions of ways to look better in pictures. From hairstyling to applying good makeup to taking shots from a right angle to appear slimmer, girls have plenty of tricks up their sleeve.
Technology also provides girls many additional ways to look better. A new iPhone app called Pixtr has been developed to make people look more beautiful in their pictures, without visible signs of retouch. It applies intelligent, minor adjustments that transform normal girls into beautiful ones.
When you should doubt that she’s as hot as she looks?
Some clear indicators are when she doesn’t have a picture featuring her whole body, and if she poses with a cutsie face in every picture. She might not be happy with her figure.
Beware if a girl’s pictures appear professionally done by a professional photographer or retouched with Instagram etc. It’s better if her first picture looks nice, and the others are more casual, more “I don’t care what I look like” type pictures.
How to check her other pictures?
If you aren’t sure if a girl is as hot as she appears to be in her pictures, you can conduct an investigation. Take a snapshot of the picture in question and Google her in reverse. Open Google Images and drag and drop the picture to see if her Instagram or other social media accounts show up. Tada! You might save yourself a lot of time.
If you are already exchanging messages, just ask her if she has a Facebook account. You can always say:
– I hate writing messages on my phone; it takes forever. Do you have a Facebook account so we continue our conversation via Facebook chat? 😉
– My cell phone’s screen is cracked and it’s a pain to send messages through this app. It would be easier to send messages from my computer. What’s your Facebook name?
– Hmm, my Tinder app keeps hanging up and shutting down, I can’t see your pictures. Can we exchange Facebook profile names?
Don’t hesitate to ask for a girl’s Facebook name even if you are unsure if you want to meet her. She will probably be happy to see more pictures of you in social situations with your friends. If she doesn’t have anything to hide, she won’t mind. It may even make her feel that you have taken your Tinder relationship to the next level.
STEP FIVE: Time to meetup!
Exchanging messages for weeks will cause your conversation to become stale, and eventually she’ll lose interest. 1-3 days of exchanging messages on Tinder should be enough to ask her out. Don’t wait any longer. Some girls just enjoy swiping through guys and chatting/flirting without having any intention of meeting someone. They can be a huge time waster.
The most important thing here is to come across as nonchalant and not like some needy creep. Suggest something that won’t take much time, so she can call it off if you creep her out. Inviting her to a concert is probably a bad idea. Try meeting her for coffee or for drinks somewhere.
– Wanna meet for a drink tomorrow?
– Hmmm you seem like a nice person… I’m sure we could have a lot of fun. Would you like to go out with me sometime this weekend?
– It’s freezing outside. You seem like a perfect person to grab a cup of coffee with. Let’s have one at a nice café, what do you think?
– Do you like art? That’s great. I’m going to an exhibition of (…. name…) would you like to join me?
STEP SIX: Seduce her on a date
Even though Tinder is quick and casual, it’s still a DATING APP, not a HOOKUP app. Some people are there just for sex, but most are looking for a relationship or are just checking it out for fun. If you are only down for a one-night stand, make it clear to whatever girl you’re talking to.
The girl might not sleep with you because you are great.
Yes, you read it correctly. It’s probably not common among guys, but girls think this way. If you are handsome, smart, nice, and treat her well, why wouldn’t she hold off on having a one-night stand with you?
If you aren’t upfront with your intentions, she might not sleep with you even if she’s horny and attracted to you. This might be because she’s placed you in the “boyfriend-to-be” zone. You would be surprised how often girls choose not to sleep with guys that they like because they see them as potential boyfriends.
Good ways to mention that you’re not looking for anything serious:
– I like meeting different people and having fun without getting involved in a relationship
– You’re a beautiful girl, but I’m not looking for a relationship right now.
– I’m sure we’ll have a lot of fun, and I want to treat you like a princess… But just for tonight.