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  • Monarch

    I talked to this girl and offer to let her borrow my video game. When I see her, I gave her the game (as promised). She said: “Awesome! I’ll give it back to you as soon as I finish it.” I said: “No problem” and walked away. It’s not the point, though. The next day, I walk into the Library and saw her walking opposite direction and she saw me looking at her, she immediately put her head down until she walk passed me and put her head up again. What does it mean exactly? I’m a shy guy and it hard for me to strike a conversation with woman I’m attracted to. I’m also a gamer as well as she, and I get excited to find someone who has similar gaming taste as I do. I just want to know why she did that. Is she giving me a signal saying “Leave me alone?”

    • LemmeTellYaASecret

      No, I don’t think so. I’m a shy girl and I find myself doing the bowing type of gesture too without thinking. Sometimes I think that people are shy because they can see this nonexistent social hierarchy. One moment I’m with my friends then next I feel beneath them or not as important. It’s worse with people I don’t know or like because I don’t feel like I can talk to them even if I was able to once before. (It comes and goes, for me at least) I’m suddenly struck by this wave of feeling that says, “Who am I to look at him?” I don’t know anybody else like me but this is how I feel it’s like. It could probably be different though.

      • Monarch

        Can you please give me a suggestion of what I should do next? She’s busy with school and work, and it is hard to get her attention as I would like to.

        • LemmeTellYaASecret

          Well, I think it’s best to make sure that person knows that your trying to get their attention. Being me, I sometimes feel like my friends never make the first move to hang out or talk. Which, in turn, makes me feel smaller and less important. Not that your doing that! I just think that you need to make sure that she knows your making an effort to talk to her and be there. It’s a nice feeling to be important. So, here’s my suggestion: Even though she’s busy make sure she’s aware of you. And even though your a shy guy put forth the effort in getting her attention even though it’s difficult. Hopefully, she’ll make time if she get’s the idea. Good luck!

          • Monarch

            I don’t know if you are still around since it has been 3 months. And thanks for your help so far with my friend’s question(s).
            Hi, I don’t mean to bother you. This is rather an odd question since this is for my friend. He is shy and quiet and he wanted to know how to talk to girl? That girl above I mentioned, she rejected him. Another thing I wanted to tell you about him is that he is socially awkward. He’s not weird or anything. I don’t know how to tell him, since I know what I want and I will go after it. He’s different than me, I mean unless it is a sure fire-signs that the girl is into him, he won’t go up and talk to her.

          • LemmeTellYaASecret

            I am so sorry about the rejection. I hope he’s doing all right. Rejection can be tough, although I’ve never really been directly rejected before. For some reason they always end up avoiding or ignoring me. 😛 What a bunch of silly jerks.

            Anyway, on to your question. I’m no expert about anything so my advice may not work for you but here’s what I suggest: So you want him to talk to girls but he can be socially awkward, huh? So am I! It’s like this. If I talk to guys already liking them, I’m shy, quiet, and wont contribute to the conversation. But, if I talk to them wanting to meet new people and find new friends it’s worlds easier. I don’t talk to guys to flirt and reel them in like some girls do. I talk to get to know them, find out their interests and see if we share anything in common even if its just a TV show. It’s fun to rant about pointless things with people.

            Somebody once told me, “No stranger really cares about you. They care about themselves.” (I mean unless your dying or something like that) Figure out fun questions to ask people. People love talking about themselves and they’ll eventually ask you questions back. Just have fun and know that, yeah, it’s not always going to work out romantically, and he (or the girl) may not want to take that step but at least you can get a new friend out of it. Us girls are people too!

            Next thing to do after you meet the girl and talk to her is to remember the things you talk about because no matter who you are or who that girl is, if the stranger she met one day remembers that she like the show Arrow or that she loves orange-flavored frozen yogurt, it’ll make her feel special and happy.

            So, action plan? Tell him straight up to be himself and open his mouth. It’s going to be difficult but realize he doesn’t have anything to lose by just talking. It’s good to be social, it’ll become fun too.

            Update me if things happen. I’d love to hear about it and see if things go well. Don’t worry about asking me questions weeks or even months later. Disqus is my life, haha, I’ll be there. Hope this helps! (Pardon any grammar issues or misspellings. I’m definitely not a perfect person. )

          • Monarch

            I’m sorry to hear that these jerks ignoring/avoiding a kind girl like yourself. Us men are dumb sometimes, never knew what we’ve got ’til it’s gone!

            Here’s the deal about my friend. If the girl he sees as a friend, he’s not afraid to go up and talk to her. But if a girl he is attracted to, he get paralyzed and couldn’t even walk. I visited him this past February and stayed for a month in Salt Lake City, and told him to go up to any girl he likes and ask them to be his Valentine. He got paralyzed at the three girls he wanted to asks for Valentine’s (I hope you aren’t thinking he’s trying to be triple-cross or triple-timer). He’s not like that, he just wanted to make sure if any of the three girls turned him down, at least he has back-up plans. As long he’s not breaking the girls’ heart or cheating on them (which in this case he isn’t), there’s nothing wrong with what he is doing. But in the end, all 3 rejected him. You sounds like him in a way, I mean, when he likes a girl, he doesn’t know what to say or how to carry on a conversation. You see? At least, you can talk to a guy and finds out what you and him has in common of interest, but my friend, it’s kind of hard for him to even walk up to any girl he find attractive. I even told him, put that attractiveness aside and just talk to her like you talk to me.

            You are right, people do love to talk about themselves. Good idea, I am glad I asked you. I will do as you say. I will surely tells him.

            I sure will keep you informed about what going on about him and stuff. And don’t worries about grammar, misspelling, etc. I don’t mind and I refuses to judge people. My grammar or spelling isn’t great, either. Hehehehe. Thank you so much for your help. It means a lot to him!

          • LemmeTellYaASecret

            Girls can be dumb too. I at least would give any guy the benefit of the doubt and go on at least one date no matter who he is. There are some really sweet girls out there but some girls just don’t realize or work that way. I’m sorry.

            Honestly, I know it’s depressing but when I find myself attracted to a guy I tell myself, “Hey, you can’t like him like that because in the end it’ll never work out that way. Just be that awesome friend everyone wants.” I’m not saying you should get him to think like that. But everything is easier if friendship comes first because it’s easier to judge a person on the content of their heart than anything else. If they turn him down without knowing him its called being prejudice. Sometimes you just need to give the person time to look past everything else and just focus on your personality. We’re human and we sometimes act without thinking. I hope these girls had good excuses for turning him down. 😛

            You know, my older sibling has been struggling with finding people to date and sometime it can be depressing when no one wants to. I’ve dedicated myself to this idea: Should I struggle finding a guy, I won’t let it get to me. I know I’m awesome. No matter what other people think, I like myself. I will live my life until the right person comes along.

            I’m not saying to give up, oh no. That’s just me. What I’m saying is, don’t let him get all worked up about love and romance. Tell him not let if keep you from living and having fun. We all dream of finding that person, but if that person is taking their sweet time finding you have patience and be friendly. Smile and laugh and keep trying. You got this!

          • Adam

            You should know about mine.she told her family next day when my’ friend ‘ told her I like her.but her mother ,brother or even her twin sister has no problem she can’t accept me.I don’t know what I have done wrong.it hurts when she ignores me every time.its like I asked ,pleased 1000 tisorrorrys and she said sorry she can’t.please help me .I think girls know girls better.please help me.

          • LemmeTellYaASecret

            Sorry Adam, I’m not sure I really understand. So your friend told her that you like her and she told her family about it but she still doesn’t like you? Are you wondering about why she told her family when she doesn’t like you? Girls talk about everything. I’m not surprised. You just have to understand that girls have the choice to accept or decline you. I’m not sure what ‘1000 tisorrorrys’ are but it kinda sounds like the answer is going to stay no. I don’t know, move on, find other girls. The world isn’t over just because one girl rejected you. There’s probably a better person for you out there anyways. Just don’t keep bothering her when the answer is repeatedly no and she’s ignoring you, I know that might sound mean, I’m not saying your a bad person (I really can’t tell what type of person you are from that short comment), but if you keep begging her to accept you she’s going to get frustrated. I guess just spend time on finding someone else.

          • Kyle

            The same thing happened to me can anybody tell me what it means

          • LemmeTellYaASecret

            Give me more. What exactly happened?

          • LemmeTellYaASecret

            Some girls can be like that and not even spare one date. If that’s how it is. Move on please. Find someone better.

          • penguinApricot

            Twin sister.

          • Monarch

            Yeah, it’s very depressing for my friend. No, their excuses isn’t good for turning him down like that. “Lack of confident” and “Lack of social skill” is all they gave me when I talked to them. Confident? It takes time and you knows it too. Any girls rejects my friend for that very reason is being shallow. About his social skill, he can talk but only if he knew that person long enough to open up, again, it takes time. What don’t they get?
            Okay, I will do just that. I will try to keep his hope alive and hopefully he’ll ran into the girl of his dream!

          • LemmeTellYaASecret

            He’s lucky to have a friend like you. You seem like a really awesome friend. Sounds like you’re really trying hard to help him.

          • Monarch

            Well, I’m glad to meet someone like you online. You’ve been very helpful to my friend. And I thank you for that.

          • LemmeTellYaASecret

            Hey! I’ve been thinking about this thread lately! Any updates? I’m interested to hear more! And good things happening?

          • Monarch

            Sorry for the late reply. I’ve been busy with a lot of things. Sadly, No. She turned him down. I don’t know what to do to help him now. This really shoot his self-esteem even lower…..

          • LemmeTellYaASecret

            Maybe he oughtta just go with the “I’ve got nothing to lose” approach. I have to do it. It’s like we get so worked up about trying to get people to like us that we start to not like ourselves. At least that’s how it was for me.

            I’m obese and guys never have like me as much as my skinny friends, no matter how much I dressed up or wore make up (losing weight seemed like such an impossible feat). My crushes would ignore me and other guys wouldn’t talk to me. I’m not pretty. I’m not even charming. I think that at some point I started to believe them and rationalize why they didn’t like me until I didn’t like myself. I hated being me… and we shouldn’t feel that way about ourselves.

            I’m not saying that he has issues with his self esteem but it was the case for me. I remember saying, “Why should I try? No one’s ever going to like someone like ‘me’.” And I stopped talking and trying to meet new people and eventually (as in the present) I became friendless. And I got lonely.

            A couple months ago I came to the realization that I shouldn’t live my life hating myself. I realized that I should just live my life happy. I decided that I would learn to love myself and I have.

            I’m more social now than I ever was before. I feel I can talk to anybody. We’re all just human. That’s it. We’re all just people. No body is better than anybody else. Guys might not like me, but honestly, I don’t give a rip, because I love myself. And just because they don’t like me, doesn’t make me worthless. That’s their own problem.

            Thinking like this made me so much happier. I feel like I became a brighter person. I laugh more, I talk more. Life is just life and it doesn’t need to be as hard as we like to make it. And guess what? One of the guys I decided to talk to just because I could became one of my greatest friends. And two weeks ago he took me on a date to go ice skating and was planning to go on another date with me on the drive back.

            You know, I might not fall in love, and at this point I’ve come to terms with that. Not every one does. But, I know that even though I’ve spent most of my time as a shy lone wolf, I know I’m not meant to be like that. I may be introverted, but that doesn’t mean I don’t need social interaction. Humans are social creatures no matter how much some might think they are meant to live their lives alone.

            When I meet someone new I think “What do I have to lose by just talking and asking?” and if I’m shy of talking to someone in particular I have my little motto, “I am who I am,
            and nobody can
            make me believe
            that I’m less.” So I guess my advice I would give him would be:

            Be fearless. And believe yourself when you say, “I am awesome.” I don’t know if you know this but there’s like 7 billion people on this planet. Not every one will like you but I can bet there are people that will. Forget the haters and live.

            —- Wow, can you believe we’re still messaging in the comments of this article? Hahaha. Hope all is well with you two. Feels like I really know you guys. I hope this helps… idk…

          • Monarch

            That girl that he hangout with two Sundays ago. She wasn’t for him. I don’t know how many times you been shot down by guys. My friend got shot down by girls like no tomorrow. Like I said, I’m not here to bash or talking smack about my friend. Girls shoot him down because of his physical appearances and that’s he Asian (I don’t know what’s that has to do with anything). And I don’t even know why girls shoot him down without giving him a chance first. I sincerely don’t see anything wrong with him. It’s not easy for him after getting shot down by dozens of girls.

            Guys that don’t like you because the way you look are just plain stupid. I get that everyone has taste, but giving a person a chance to see what they are all about wouldn’t hurt a soul. My friend and I would give any girls a chance before we decides if she’s the one for us. You’re right about “I’ve got nothing to lose” approach. He need to knows that.

            That’s could be it. He doesn’t socialize much. Only friends he has is me. I’ll link this conversations we’re having so he can read what you’re telling him. Darn, you lucky gal. At least you are going on a date, him not so.

            It’s because you’re awesome that’s why I’m still messaging you. Him and I hope everything is going well for you. We sincerely hope you and that guy will become ONE!!! :). Since day one you reply to my thread, we’ve known each others already. It helps a lot actually, for that I thank YOU!

          • LemmeTellYaASecret

            Right? When people turn me down because of my appearance I just want to grab them by the collar of their shirt, stare them down and say. “Wow, you’re not even going to get to know me? That’s a little petty, isn’t it? Ha, we’ll I definitely don’t need someone like you.” *then I walk away* But no shy girl can be that brave so is more like a “yeah… okay…” *then I shuffle away*

            Also, after knowing what it’s like to have a 10 year crush (I know… freakin’ long, right? T_T I’m a girl… what can I say?) and the struggle it takes to get over one, I made a rule for myself to not get attached to a person without knowing fully what we could be. I don’t hope for things (like some romantic future), I just talk, I just socialize, If things eventually move in that direction then okay! 🙂 But if they don’t like me and reject me, then no harm. I can just brush it off my shoulder. Whatever.

            I’m sorry about that girl rejecting him. And you’re right, I probably have not been rejected as many times as he has, but tell him not to give up! There are some amazing people out there. Just keep sifting the gold from the sand and you’ll find some great people. Some great friends and maybe one that can be more than that.

            I believe in you! …Whoever you are!

          • Monarch

            WOW, 10 years of liking someone? That is a long time. Did he knows you likes him? My friend can learn a lot from you. He told me to tell you “Thank you” for helping him.

          • LemmeTellYaASecret

            Aww, he’s welcome! I love talking and sharing experiences. So much so, I’m probably annoying. Yep, 10 years. And yes, he knew. Very clearly, in fact. He still treated me kindly, like a friend, but he never stuck around for long. Each time we’d meet, it would end quicker than the last we did until he just dissolved and he never talked to me. (It sounds way easier than what your friend has to go though with rejection.)

            And you know what?

            I finally realized that was a freakishly long time to be thinking about one person out of millions. It’s a scary long time to act like someone I wasn’t… someone maybe more his type.
            If you can’t smile, laugh, or talk normal in front of the person your attracted to, it isn’t worth the hassle and is somewhat a lie. (Breathe, relax, and be you!) I didn’t want to lie to him about who I was anymore. Every time afterwards I felt like trash, like the real me was not worth his time. But I realized that loving me is way more important that loving some dream boy that didn’t feel the same way.

            My happiness is more important.

            You know, he seemed to fit everything on my list in what I wanted in a guy… like an unrealistic prince. But after him, I came to find out something. My list doesn’t need to be so long. It can almost be shortened to two things: I just want someone who I’m comfortable with being me around and someone who I can laugh with. That is my ideal. I want to date someone who could be my best friend.

            I have to find my best friend first though. So, I don’t miss a second to talk to someone new. Because my best friend is worth looking for. He’ll always be worth looking for.

          • Monarch

            That is very true saying “Be yourself and don’t change for nobody”. I like that! I wonder why stupid butthead won’t give you a chance to see the real YOU. People disgust me, seriously!

            I wish my friend could find a way to feel comfortable in his own skin. What sicken me is that girls rejected him without even trying to know him. Or give him a time of day. I seen it to. One time I was with him, he was talking to this girl (he wasn’t hitting on her or anything. Just trying to have a friendly conversations with her). She didn’t even bother looking at him instead she looked at me and I was PISSED (I mean really PISSED off), and I scolded at her. I immediately pulled him away. I know he will find that special girl because she will be his best friend like you said.

          • LemmeTellYaASecret

            Holy cow that was a long response. Haha

        • penguinApricot

          You should say ‘Hey !’,
          and ask her how the game is going.
          And then tell her she will probably love that movie you want to see.
          Tell her she should come…
          then pause and say ,’to the movie that is…

          Whatever she says, yes, no, maybe, nothing.
          Cut her short and say.

          ‘Well give me your number, I’ll let you know when I’m going !’.

          And say it like you are a God, giving her the greatest gift: your attention. Even though she is almost worthless.

    • wyatt

      She probably broke your video game

      • Monarch

        No, she did not. She even told me like a week ago that she felt bad for keeping it too long. I told her, don’t be, because I know she has school and work. “So take your time, I’m not in the rush for it”. Is all I said to her. She was happy about it, but I guess she doesn’t like me like that. I asked her out for Valentine’s and she said “I have a fiancé”, I know she’s lying so I didn’t bother with it and play it cool.

  • Guy who needs help

    So there is this girl, and recently we’ve started working out and going out to eat a lot, and we both play volleyball so we have been helping each other get better. While we work out we flirt and touch each other and she is constantly laughing at my jokes, and I’m damn sure I’m not that funny. Anyways we text all the time and she says I’m cute and that I’m very sweet, and that she even misses me but here’s where it gets bad. She asked me if this was just a workout partner thing or if it was something more, so then I said that we are work out partners, then I said hopefully it could become something more. That’s when she told me that the situation she’s in right now is terrible and that she has a bf but he lives in a different state, so they never see each other. She says even tho she told me about that she really wants nothing to change between us because she likes spending time with me and going out to eat with me. She says she wants us to forget that we even talked about that. Then a little later she said and was curious when my last relationship was, so I told her and I honestly have no idea what’s going on, or what to do. Like I really like this girl so much and I feel like I would be better for her than her bf who lives so far away, but what do you guys think?

    • Go for her, keep up what your doing. Eventually she is going to realize her boyfriend is to far away to have a relationship with, and that you are her next best option, just keep talking to her and don’t abandon her for this small reason. It will turn out good in the end. (Also, the boyfriend thing might be TOTALLY made up! Sometimes girls say they have a boyfriend to sort of test you to see if you really like them for who they are, or they do it because there too shy to say they want you as their boyfriend)

      • Even IF she does realize that, she will still only see him as a “friend” period. So he should except that “role” that they’re friends and leave it at that. And for him to find someone else? And he could also lose her as a friend too:(

    • penguinApricot

      Clown.

      If you don’t want her.
      She will find someone else fairly quickly.

      The only way some girls leave a boyfriend or a husband, is via another husband or boyfriend.

      She will never be single, Only available.

      • and let her find someone else. I’m in my middle 40’s and I have never come across a both single and avilible women at the same-time? EVER! I don’t think they exist, tbh.

    • the moment you said “work out partner” that immediately put you in the friend zone. And then she told you about he bf situation. That’s another sign your in the “friend zone” and then she told you to forget about it. And plus she said she didn’t want thing’s to change. And as for situation with her bf that won’t change anytime soon either. Girls. women etc are always going to be testing you? No matter what the “situation” friends, bf’s etc…

  • anonymous

    Yep she laughs at my jokes…

  • IDon’tUnderstandMySelf

    I don’t know if i’m really shy person but if it’s come’s to the person that i have crush on I’m really a quite chicken to talk or something to get know that person and i’m really interested but I never felt any confidence to push myself to ask her out or start a random conversation cause I suck at it. I can’t think of any words to make a move to start a random conversation. There is 2 things stopping me, I feel like I’m not fine looking like any other guys and I’m so depressed of my height. So I just forget about everything I planned to try engaging. So now I felt so bad about not being friendly when I see that person again, cause sometimes I have a bad day and I’m not in a mood unless if you make me smile. I always smile and show interest to this person I felt like she did at the first but I think it’s too late now. I always think that someday a girl will ask me out, yeah I know it’s the opposite I’m the one who have to ask but seriously I can’t figure out if she really likes me. We had some conversation on chat and we do see each other sometimes smile and saying hi/goodbye that’s all. I’m a near sight so I can’t see far, sometimes I see her in distance but I don’t smile or talk to person that I’m not sure it’s them. But I do know how she move’s like walking and smiling, I really catch her walking style once I was accident walking behind her, I know that it’s her I just can’t run and reach my arm on her and say hi or something, I’m so pussy and I hate that. So now I’m playing in the shadow and hope that she say something that I could understand a sign she is sending. I know it’s better to find out if she’s interested on me but I just leave it be, that’s what kind of a guy I am. I rather wait for a girl that really actually want to be interactive than trying to find out the person interest. Maybe I wasn’t ready again to find another love life, I just don’t know myself. But I still laughing and smiling having a good time with my friends, but sometimes I think of this person it’s just bothering me. She’s always on my head, I never felt this crush on this girl are so strong for me. She make me weak when everytime she pop out of my head from no where.

    • If your having trouble talking to her or starting conversations, just start slow, maybe some small talk or if you have the same classes talk about homework or something, and then bring that to larger conversation. Meir and my girlfriend are both in band and play percussion, so when we got new music I tried to choose the same parts as her, so in a sense i could get “closer” to her and if we had the same music we could strike up conversations trying to help eachother learn the music. ALSO MOST IMPORTANT THING! This does NOT work if she is already dating a guy or has a boyfriend. Find someone who you know FOR SURE is single. Also, make sure you watch her body language (most important part). If she maintains close eye contact when you talk to her, and if you catch her starting at you, these are GOOD signs. Also see if she does things differently with you versus other guys. For example, when my girlfriend talks to me she always maintains strict eye contact and always smiles, and when she talked to other guys her eyes kind of wandered and she didnt smile that much. Also if you are talking to her around some friends (Actually if your really shy this best way to get started, involve her in a group conversation) and one of your friend start talking, watch if she keeps eye contact on you, if she does, it probably means she likes you and she is trying to show you she will be loyal to you in a sense. If all these good signs are happening she for sure likes you and is just alittle shy to talk to you. So its up to you to start the conversation! Don’t be afraid, if you answered yes to most of these signs she probably likes you. Hope this helps!

  • Guest

    How about a girl that goes up to me to help me with the checkout, and smiles at me when working in the checkout at a grocery store?

    Does she like me, or just being friendly?

    • silverrose

      It kind of depends I work in retail and I’m very outgoing when it comes to talking to people for the most part. If you frequent the store and she goes out of her way to help you she could like you. For example even though I can talk to any customer who comes in the guy I like I have a hard time talking to him I feel like I’m gonna say something dumb and he won’t like me which I usually do. But when he comes in the store I give him my undivided attention if I can. And girls will try to play hard to get which is dumb but I’m guilty of trying that with guys too. So she may like you she may not only one way to find out ask for her number. If she gives it to you call her. I had a guy once ask my friend for my number finally had her give it to him and he didn’t call. So don’t ask if u don’t really want it.

  • Karan Verma

    In my institute a girl talk to everybody but when its come to my turn she’s talk is through by het friend not directly to me why I don’t understand why she do so with me. Plz help me.

    • Hate to break it to ya but she probably likes your best friend. If a girl likes someone in a group conversation she will maintain eye contact with the one person she likes and ignore the other people. Hope this will at least help your best friend!

  • alyas

    hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii

  • Duarte Costa

    yup…ALL of those…do you read minds?

  • loyalseagull

    Hey,

    So here’s my story.

    I have what I suspect is social anxiety – got an appt with a psychologist this Friday in fact; this is a very recent thing in terms of realising I have it, but has been getting worse for many years. My GP referred me to the psychologist.

    As a result of a) childhood bullying, b) being spiked back in university (this ultimately led to my death, but the paramedics got my heart beating again) and c) having my laptop stolen 2 years later, in my final year of uni, I have not been in a relationship for 8 years now. I just don’t have that trust in people any more, unless I have a reason to know them – i.e. family or work. The amount that I go out has dropped from going shopping or clubbing at least 6 times per month 4 years ago to about once per month now.

    I am now 27 and work as a web developer. I have been here for 4 years and have hardly had a social life in all that time. I am incredibly successful at work – primarily because I am sat in front of a screen (or 3) all day and don’t come into contact with people outside of my team very much.

    There is this girl I am interested in but I just don’t know how to read her or if she would even consider going out with me. There are a several reasons I can think of that she may not – a) (without meaning to sound racist) I am white and she is black. This is not a problem for me at all – quite the opposite in fact – but I know it can be a problem for some families to cope with even in this age. b) She is a colleague – in fact she often QAs my work. c) Maybe she just isn’t interested in me in that way – she doesn’t really let much on so it’s hard to tell. What makes me wonder if she actually IS interested are:

    – She frequently smiles when she sees me. We can walk round the same corner and her face turns into a beaming smile.

    – She often ‘accidentally’ brushes my shoulder or playfully takes something from my desk and runs off, simply moves something on my desk or punches me on my shoulder.

    – She often stays late if I am (and vice versa).

    – She *very* frequently compliments me – using words such as “Einstein” or “genius” on a near weekly basis. She even called me “my Einstein” several weeks ago, when I started working on an internal app specifically to speed up her job. I demoed an app to several of the team a few weeks ago, including her, before the app was released. She was working from home but skyped me within seconds of finishing to say how truly impressed she was, how clever I am and so on. We have financial rewards at work for when we have done really well. She nominated me for one of those, out of the blue, at Christmas.

    – She is becoming far more geeky (her role is not geeky by nature, but mine is). She can’t cope with small screens anymore, uses her own mouse and keyboard at work and really wants to get some geeky t-shirts like the ones I wear at work.

    – She frequently asks me for advice on things which may not even be related to my actual work – such as how to do something in Excel or something. The other day she called me round, claiming it was related to Excel so that the rest of the team thought we were discussing work, and then said quietly that she just wanted to talk to me about random stuff.

    – We have a couple of places to get food at work – a van which comes round every day and a cafe. She used to always bring food from home but recently has been ordering from the cafe and will always let me know when she is doing so – she neglects to tell anyone else.

    – She is well known for having OCD when it comes to hygiene. She won’t touch anyones keyboard or mouse – except mine and, occasionally, my team leads.

    On the other hand, there are some days when she just seems really off with me. I have discussed this with my team lead and he said that, on those days, she is really off with everyone – it’s not just me.

    I guess what I am asking for is a 2nd opinion on whether she really does like or if much of this is just her being friendly and any further meaning is just in my head. My head just feels really messed up at the moment – with all this anxiety stuff going on and such like – so I don’t know whether or not to trust my head or anything. Any help would be much appreciated. Thanks in advance.

    • It sounds like she likes you, but she’s afraid to tell you or show it. I have anxiety as well so I know where your coming from. IF you read that ad, you can apply a lot of these “tips” with different types of girls. she sounds like a shy girl or a girl with her own set of problems. The thing is she expects you to figure it all out? And having anxiety issues don’t really help. OK, sometime you have to go for broke and ask her out and see what she says? But make sure , you have some sort of plan? Go to the movies or out to eat or bowling or play a video game together. Everything you mentioned in your post “points to that” brushes you shoulder , stays late, compliments you etc…

  • tan junwei

    If u tell a girl u like her and she say idk and from then onwards her tone of talking to u change

  • Benjamin

    So I like this girl and her best friend told me to tell her that I do like her so I did. Now it seems as if she doesn’t wanna talk to me like she seems shy around me now for some reason. Is this a sign that she does like me? I just want her to be happy and comfortable around me. What should I do?

  • Jason Brewer

    If a girl avoids you but you see her staring at you all the time you walk buy what does it mean.

  • Jason Brewer

    Also how long does a shy girl avoid you, and should I talk 2 my crush friend and give her hints tt I like I my crush

  • randy

    I have a problem. I like a girl,but she’s a shy girl and i’m a shy guy. A few weeks ago I told her I liked her. But she said she had a boyfriend.(It was a lie btw.) So a week later I got her a necklace and asked her BFF to give it to her.(Her bff said that she talked about me.)And later I asked the girl if she got it,she did and was serious about giving it back.(It the following conversation I tried friendzoning myself but she still gave it back.) A few hours after that I looked at the necklace closely and the main part of it was gone.(She’s a good girl and if she wanted to keep it she keep it all,And if she was uncomfortable about it she would have returned it all.) She and her friend are still very nice to me. But now I don’t know what to do. Help?

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  • Vickie

    So, I’m a shy girl. I have pretty bad social anxiety, and I am incredibly shy because of that. Unfortunately, I am also a teenage girl, and therefore, my hormones are flaring up and I now have a crush. Only, I am also introverted, and I’m really bad at small talk. So not only am I shy, but I also can’t have casual conversation with people. I have trouble making eye contact, even with friends I’ve known all my life, and I am really insecure about my smile. I also feel very uncomfortable about touching people I don’t know. Every time I try to talk to my crush, everything I say sounds weird in my head, or comes out sounding weird. For example, one time I told my crush I was a “pro level status nerd”, whatever the hell that was. So I know this is a long post and most of these comments are from a year ago, but can someone please give me tips on flirting? Thanks to anyone who replies 🙂

  • John Hopkins

    Hello there, got a bit of a tricky situation. Would appreciate some advice.
    So I go to this very small school boarding school (technically a university) and I met this girl I’m into. We both doarm there the whole week and the school is very small wo we see each other quite often. When I first met her I felf we had a good connection and tried to flirt a bit via text but one day she randomly mentioned she had a boyfriend. I felt very bummed and was gonna give up but the next I told her to take a walk with me and we ended up buying a bottle of wine, dancing, almost kissing many times but the nagging thought of the boyfriend stopped me from fully going for it and the even ended with her cuddling alseep against me (the wine helped). However since then she’s had a very odd behavior: ignoring most of my texts, looking away or ignoring me when we cross paths (which happens many times daily) and sometimes I would say she even looks annoyed…however when I went up to her room to ask her to get coffee with me she did come down or whenever I engage in direct conversation she seems receptive, laughing at my jokes… Before always taking a very sudden leave.
    I really don’t know how to gauge her? Should I confront her about it and tell her I understand she has a boyfriend and won’t make any move? Is she scared of me? Is she mad? She once told me she was shy but she also seems not to care much about people. An arrogant kind of shyness..( I don’t mind arrogance and don’t really consider it to be a deffect)

  • Chu Kem

    Not every girl is going to be outgoing. Many of them are going to be introverted, shy, and will not know what to do when asked out sometimes. If you fall for one, you are going to have to make the first move, you’ll have to show them you’re safe, and this is going to be a lot harder than other options. If you are serious about learning how to attract shy girls, then you need to focus on slowing down your push forward. These girls aren’t going to give you the time of day at first, so you’ll need to focus on breaking their shell.
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  • Ayush Gupta

    i love her but we can’t express our feelings we know each other and want to explore each other some suggestions How can i express my love

  • lewis kelly

    there’s a girl at school that i’m sure likes me but all my guy friends say that she doesn’t like me. her friend often watches us to steal glances IM CONFUSED