The Female Body Language Decoder

By Patrick Banks

Posted 5 years agoDATING

The Female Body Language Decoder

I have a little experiment that I want you to try out. The next time you have a great conversation with a woman you just met and feel that she’s definitely attracted to you, ask her if she remembers what the first thing you said to her was. Not to knock your ego or your brilliant opener here, but the chances are that 90% of the time, she won’t have a damn clue. Don’t worry, this isn’t because your opener wasn’t good enough or you weren’t memorable enough. It’s because women pay far more attention to body language and non-verbal communication than men ever do.

You see, during the first few seconds of your approach, a woman could care less about the actual words you say to her – unless it’s something incredibly weird or creepy, that is. The reason for this is because her mind will be too busy processing your body language and the non-verbal cues that you are giving out. And throughout your interaction she will always – even if it’s on a subconscious level – be observing and dissecting these non-verbal cues.

Now this might sound a bit worrying to some men, but here’s the cool thing; even while a woman is observing your body language, she will be giving out non-verbal cues of her own that are intended to let you know if she’s attracted to you or not. It’s almost like having little sign-posts to help guide you towards seduction junction. The trick is in learning to reading these signs. So in today’s article I want to dissect and help you understand the basics of female body language.

Her eyes

There are so many things that a woman’s eyes can tell you throughout the entire courtship process.

For example, if you are standing across a room from a woman that you’re interested in and your eyes meet, notice if she holds eye-contact for more than a few seconds. If she looks away immediately the chances are she’s either shy or not really interested. But if she holds steady eye-contact for more than two or three seconds, you can definitely take that as an invitation to approach. And if she locks eyes with you more than once, she’s practically screaming for you to get over there and talk to her.

Even when talking to a woman, her eyes will tell you a lot about how she feels the interaction is going. For instance if she holds strong eye contact while you talk and while she talks to you, this is a definite sign that she finds you attractive. If she goes as far as to occasionally glance at your lips while you talk, you can bet that she’s really, really into you.

Sometimes you’ll even notice a woman’s pupils dilate while she’s listening to you talk. You see, our pupils dilate in low light conditions and when we’re experiencing feelings of intense attraction and desire. So if you notice this in a woman you’re flirting with, you’re doing a good job and should probably escalate things physically as soon as you can.

On the flipside, if a woman’s eyes keep darting about while you talk to her or if she avoids eye-contact altogether, you’re probably not doing a good job of keeping her interested.

Her lips

The next time you’re flirting with a woman, pay close attention to what’s she’s doing with her lips. When a woman is attracted to a guy, she will usually smile and laugh much more frequently, regardless of whether the guy is actually funny or not. So if a girl always smiles when you look at her or if she slips in a little giggle whenever you start talking to her, this is a definite sign that she’s attracted to you.

Sometimes you’ll also notice a woman subtly bite or lick her lower lips while talking to you. Or she’ll sometimes make a show of putting on her lipstick in front of you. You see, a woman’s mouth is like a sexual gateway and these little things that she does are all designed to draw your attention towards her mouth. So if you notice a woman doing any of these things, she’s definitely sexually attracted to you and wants you to make a move on her.

Her hair

What a woman does with her hair is also another very important non-verbal communication that you need to learn to pay attention to. You see, from an evolutionary standpoint, a nice, shiny head of hair is a sign of good health, that we men are evolutionarily programmed to find attractive. So when a woman feels attracted to a man she will often start playing with her hair, twisting it around her finger or combing her hand through it, and more often than not she won’t even know she’s doing it.

A woman might even occasionally toss her hair back or hook it behind her ear to reveal her neck. This is a slightly more overt move and is a definite signal that she’s sexually attracted to you.

Her hands

Quite often when a woman finds a man attractive she will start fidgeting around with her hands. She might start playing with her drink or start fiddling around with her jewelry.  This kind of fidgeting signals a good kind of nervousness that she’s feeling and is a very powerful indicator of attraction that you should watch out for.

Another thing that you should pay attention to is if and how a woman touches you. Quite often when a woman feels attracted to a man she will “accidently” let her hands brush against his or even sometimes innocently touch him on the wrist or forearm. This is actually one of the more obvious non-verbal cues and signs of attraction that you need to learn to watch out for.

Her legs

Women who are not interested in flirting with you will usually keep their legs crossed tightly together. It’ll almost feel as if she’s rejecting any sexual solicitations from you and protecting her privacy. Of course, there are exceptions to this, but usually if a girl is into you she will often cross and uncross her legs repeatedly in front of you. This again is a sign that she wants you to notice her physical attractiveness and that she’s very much into you.

Another thing that you’ll notice when a woman is attracted to you is that she’ll usually sit in a way that both her feet are pointed towards you. Scientists that study human behavior and non-verbal communication believe that even this is a subconscious reaction that occurs when we find another person attractive. However, if a woman that you’re flirting with sits so that both her feet are pointed away from you, you might need to recalibrate your advances.

Her posture

Often when a woman is in close proximity to a man that she finds attractive, she’ll stand tall with a slight arc to her back. Women do this subconsciously, and sometimes consciously, to enhance the size of her breasts. Again, something that we men are evolutionarily programmed to find attractive.

On the hand, if a girl slouches around you and covers herself up this is a sign that she doesn’t want you to look and that she’s definitely not interested.

Her physical distance

Whenever you are flirting with a woman if you notice that she seems to be getting closer and closer to you in terms of physical proximity, take that as a definite sign of attraction and comfort. More often than not this is an invitation to intensify your flirting. In such an instance open up your posture a bit and give her the chance to “find herself” getting closer and closer to you.

However, if a woman seems to be gradually distancing herself from you or if she leans back whenever you lean in to talk to her, take that as a definite sign that she is not liking what you’re doing.

Her actions

Have you ever noticed how when you’re hanging out with a group of close friends that you sometimes start mirroring their bodily actions? Psychologists actually have a term for this called “postural echo.” This is a subconscious reaction that indicates comfort and rapport and, in the case of a woman you are flirting with, attraction. Lean in and notice if she leans as well. Pick up your drink and watch to see if she picks hers up too. If she does, this is a strong sign that she’s attracted to you.

At the end of the day, one meager article isn’t nearly enough to cover all the subtleties of female body language and non-verbal communication. But I hope that this serves you as a guideline that you can use to start recognizing these non-verbal cues and develop your intuition to a point where you pick up on them on a subconscious level.

About the author Patrick Banks

Patrick is a Berlin-based dating advisor, motivational speaker, a huge fitness and vegan diet enthusiast and the main editor at Wingman Magazine, specialised in men's health. His ultimate goal is to share with men around the world his passion for self-development and to help them to become the greatest version of themselves. He believes a healthy body and successful social interactions are two main keys to happiness.