5 Steps Guide to Being a Modern Man (and Totally Rock It!)

By Patrick Banks

Posted 6 years agoGROWTH

5 Steps Guide to Being a Modern Man (and Totally Rock It!)

A while ago, a man who spent too much time in front of a mirror was looked down on by society. The habit was not forbidden but mostly frowned upon. Thankfully, times have now changed, and a man can take care of himself, a groomed looked being all the rage right now.

The same changes happened in social interactions and financial responsibilities. The society leans towards becoming more and more eual and open.

For today’s piece, we have compiled a list of five necessary routines that every modern man should follow. It includes activities both for the mind and the soul because being a man of today is more complicated than just looking and smelling good.

Step 1. Become a Passionate Man

Don’t you have a passion (yet)? Pick up a hobby.

It doesn’t even matter if it’s riding your bike, creating some art (regardless of its kind), or playing sports. The important thing is to do something in your free time that doesn’t involve sleeping or watching TV. Hobbies are, in fact, very healthy for your mind and body. Here are some of the critical positive effects of picking up a hobby, according to science:

  • Hobbies reduce stress;
  • Improve mood;
  • Hobbies promote and encourage socialization so you can shake off loneliness;
  • They improve memory;
  • Hobbies minimize depression especially if the activity makes you very happy.

They help you get rid of everyday stress while doing a pleasurable activity, which stimulates the brain and the body. While sleep is also beneficial, if you feel tired after a full work week, make some time for other activities too.

Make a list of things that you’ve always wanted to do and start now. Don’t postpone your hobbies! Now it is the best time to start, regardless of your age. It can also happen to feel very lazy during your off days and not feel like doing anything. In this case, you may want to follow these tips on how to stop being lazy, starting tomorrow.

Pursuing a hobby that makes you happy also boosts your self-esteem and helps you build a more authentic personality. The hobby is who you are, what you love, what makes you tick. In a world where superficiality, twisted social standards, and ignorance seem to conquer, being authentic and showing your true side has never been sexier.

Staying true to yourself in this world is probably the best gift you make yourself as a modern, mindful man. Moreover, if your hobby has a lucrative side as well, you can turn it into a future career or entrepreneurial venture.

Step 2. Indulge in Some Mindful (fast) Food now and then

No, it’s not a sin to enjoy some of the little pleasures of life occasionally. So, now and then, go to your favourite fast food restaurant and indulge in a not-so-healthy burger and some fries. The environment is asking for help more and louder, so don’t turn your head away from vegan options! Jackfruit, mushrooms or cheekpiece can be as delicious as meat if made well, and will definitely make your conscious feel better (at least they should).

Doing this will undoubtedly lift your spirits and will not make you feel restricted by a never-ending diet. It’s all about the quantity. A burger a month never killed anyone! Fast food usually becomes dangerous to the health when people eat it too frequently. Keep yourself from going overboard, and you will be just fine.

Going to the restaurant for an excellent gourmet meal means more than just treating yourself occasionally. While ordering in is a habit and comfort, going out for an exquisite dinner means that you pay yourself the respect you deserve. It also means being mindful towards the environment. Have you ever mused about the connection between eating out and ordering in?

Our world suffocates slowly but inexorably under layers and layers of plastic. The worst scenario is that if we do not do something right now, by 2050, there will be less fish in the oceans than plastic debris. In other words, in our lifetime, we will live in a garbage pile both on land and on the sea, with no escape.

Ordering in means entertaining the use of foamed plastic cups (which decompose in more than 50 years), plastic cutlery and plastic food containers (which disintegrate in about 400 years), plastic straws and plastic bottles (decomposing in about 400-450 years), and more. Should we mention the plastic bags your food usually arrives in at your doorstep?

Being a modern man means paying attention. If you pay attention to the world around you, it will help realize that it is in your power to make small changes. One of them is eating at a restaurant making a genuine effort to promote sustainability and eco-friendliness, for the sake of humankind.

Moreover, if your gourmet burger also comes with an organic flair, you should spoil yourself once in a while by supporting local farmers and those entrepreneurs trying to make the world a better place to the best of their abilities.

If you do not have the time to snack outside, you can always make something delicious at home for you and your dear ones. Modern men not only cook, but they are masters of the craft, being inventive and resourceful.

Forget the myths saying men eat and act like the barbarians they are on the inside. Men have higher metabolic rates and need their protein, but this does not mean that they should eat only meats and greasy, unhealthy stuff to prove their masculinity.

Here you have some gourmet meals you can prepare when you feel like pampering yourself (and boost your energy levels, have a healthy snack, or balance your nutrients’ levels):

  • Bananas and peanut butter: a match made in heaven, both sweet and salty, packed with protein, vitamins, and minerals; you can also replace the bananas with green apple and add a thin slice of crispbread for a yummy crunchy
  • Soft-boiled egg on crispbread (whole grain, preferably): a delicious breakfast idea or an afternoon snack packed with protein and fibers; you can also add a slice of smoked salmon for more protein and the most natural addition of healthy fish to your diet.
  • Spiked yogurt: pick a Greek yogurt and spike it with fruits, nuts and seeds, some honey drizzle, some chocolate chips, and so on. One of the freshest and healthiest snacks for the summer.

These were just a few suggestions you can follow. Remember that the modern man understands giving and receiving respect for him and everything around him. He knows how to make the difference between an eco-friendly restaurant and mindless plastic use; he knows a good steak is always a good steak, but avocado on toast is a sign of taste and elegant health; he knows he may not change the world overnight, but he can do his part, as small as it is.

Step 3. Get Yourself a Groom

What many men do not understand nowadays is that they don’t need to pay entire fortunes on costly products. They also don’t have to spend hours in front of a mirror. However, if it makes them feel validated, then they should go ahead and do it, as nobody forbids it. Still, the trick is to develop a simple routine that will assure you that you won’t leave home looking messy or sleepy.

More important than this, a routine will ensure that you won’t get out in the world feeling bad about yourself or unhappy. Taking care of yourself will surely make you the best possible version of yourself if you wish to become a modern man and turn your life around a bit.

For example, a large number of men postpone going to the barber for way too long. When they finally gather their courage to do it, they go there looking like the slightly more handsome cousin of Yeti. Such a thing should never happen, especially if you are someone who likes to take care of himself.

Schedule regular appointments with your barber for a fresh haircut (and beard care) every month. It’s also important to always go to the same barber so that you avoid all that drama about always being unsure about how your haircut might look. If you’re in need of inspiration, here are some exciting men’s hairstyle ideas that might suit your tastes and personal style.

These days, a man who wants to look like the best version of himself and makes an effort to get a refined haircut or a fresh, sexy shave does not show some twisted vanity, but a sign of self-respect and respect towards others. Grooming and self-care in people have a powerful connection with self-perceived body image. Psychology found that everyday grooming routines have positive effects on a person’s self-esteem and self-confidence.

In fact, a recent longitudinal research study published in the Journal of Developmental Psychology explored the correlation, role, and relationship between the body image and the development of personal identity through adolescence and young adulthood. The conclusions of the study confirm what people knew for quite some time: poor self-image at a young age can lead to emotional and mental health issues in adulthood.

To counteract, all people should pay attention to their physical appearance, because the saying is true: looking good means feeling good, and this means doing good around.

In conclusion, choose your favorite haircut, invest in quality grooming products, see your barber regularly, go to the gym if you want, get that perfume that seems to have been tailored for your personality, and go out there as a man who is self-confident, powerful, unbreakable, and sexy!

Step 4. Go out with your friends

There are lots of young men out there who, because they’re very busy with work or caught up in a new relationship, cannot find the time to spend with their friends. Feel like you don’t have too many friends? Don’t panic! Science tells us how much time it takes to make new friends. It’s not too long, so don’t worry about this part!

One of the things you should worry about, however, is not neglecting your friends and family, no matter how busy you are. If you think smartphones and social media can compensate for genuine, authentic social interactions, you are in the wrong. In a world alienating itself by overusing digital communication, the risk of depression and mental health problems sharply increases.

Many studies reviewed by the Harvard Medical School show that people entertaining satisfying relationships with their friends are happier, healthier, and living longer. Face-to-face interactions reduce the risk of depression and even physical health problems, such as cardiovascular diseases or immune diseases.

A Stanford research shows the following:

  • Strong social connections strengthen your immune system;
  • Meaningful interpersonal relationships increase your longevity by 50%;
  • Social contact helps you recover from illnesses faster;
  • Having friends and keeping them close helps you and they lead healthier and more satisfying lives, both physically and psychologically.

Connectedness makes your life better and keeps the people in your circle happier and healthier. Connect more, have fun together with your friends, engage in everyday activities, go on trips, and share the best and the worst about your lives. Such things will equip you and them better to fight depression or other mental disturbances in the future.

Step 5. Visit your Family more often

Yes, it may sound like something mandatory and necessary, out of respect and love for the members of your family. Sadly, not enough people visit their families as often as they could. The best version of yourself should visit them more frequently, give them gifts, or sit around a table talking about life. Consider it a bonding exercise.

Don’t wait too long between visits to your parents’ and grandparents’ house. As soon as you see the smiles on their faces when they see you, you’ll realize how much they’ve missed you. You wouldn’t want to lose that. A 2015 study showed that adults aged 50 to 60 who frequently have meaningful face-to-face contact with their friends show lower levels of depression. Also, people over 70 years old benefit more from in-person contact with children and other family members.

Take these results as a reminder that your parents and grandparents need you by their side and you need them as well. We know not all family gatherings are fun, but for their sake and yours, do not forget to call or visit. A good man knows that the best gift one can make is honesty, authenticity, and sincere affection.


It is worth taking into account that a modern man should not only take care of his body. He should also take care of his soul and aspire to be the best possible version of himself. It’s not an easy task, we are aware, but certainly not impossible. Start by paying attention to your body, spending more time with your family and friends, and finally, enjoying the little pleasures of life now and then. All these routines are part of your journey to become a better man.

The modern man the world needs is a mindful one. Paying attention and showing respect for yourself, the others, and the world you live in will help you become a stronger person that will enjoy the best things about life and have a saying in putting a stop to the worse ones.

About the author Patrick Banks

Patrick is a Berlin-based dating advisor, motivational speaker, a huge fitness and vegan diet enthusiast and the main editor at Wingman Magazine, specialised in men's health. His ultimate goal is to share with men around the world his passion for self-development and to help them to become the greatest version of themselves. He believes a healthy body and successful social interactions are two main keys to happiness.