Confidence is learnable skill, you and I we were born somewhere on this planet and adapted our core behaviors in young age by observing and imitate our nearest environment. This is the time we build a base of our personality, especially around 6 years old when the maximum neuronal connections in the brain are intensified. So when your father was yelling at you that you are stupid and you suck or you was bullied in school your confidence can be really low. But we are constantly learning and adapting to new environments and roles in live. Simply you can learn how to be confident.
Every trait and skill that other people have can be yours because the whole process of human evolution is based on the traits and skills acquired throughout the entire lifecycle. This is the first step, to understand that you can influence yourself: your brain and senses to learn confidence. Today I will show you 3 unusual steps to do that.
1. Use fragrances
Imagine that you are at the party and you just saw the most beautiful girl in the world, she just passes you. You will remember her body shape, maybe hair and face. When you walk up from bed the next day with a hangover you will definitely remember her smell. Why? Because a sense of smell is one of the most sensitive senses.
We people love good scents, when something or someone smells good we feel better instantly. When you apply a really good fragrance not only people around you will smell it, also you will feel it’s vibe in the air. A well-chosen fragrance will be your secret confidence weapon. Well chosen it’s when you really like it and masses too.
The main rule is to buy the best quality you can afford, use as little as you need. Apply it once, maximum twice! Even the nicest smell when put too much, gives the opposite effect, and actually keeps people further from you!
Great perfumes, when used with moderation, will double your confidence because people will be complimenting you and when you will feel your favourite smell in the air you will feel much more confident.
Fragrances are like a psychological anchor when you grab a bottle and apply them on your skin you do it to feel better to complete your personal image, so you associate this process with strong feelings that give you confidence.
Take action: Get rid of all deodorants you have, go to the shop and buy yourself antiperspirant this is the first step of the challenge. Next, go to the perfumery and start testing, looking for scents that will have the biggest impact on you. Choose the best one, buy it 50 or more millilitres and that will be your signature scent, that will boost your confidence every time you will wear it.
2. Improve voice tonality
Voice tonality is confidence inseparable attribute. The higher voice is associated with lower confidence, lower with high confidence. How you speak determines how people respond to you. Not just women you’re interested in, but friends, strangers, employers, and everyone you come in contact with. You can dress well and have the best opening lines but you won’t get far without a strong voice.
There are two main styles of voice tonality dominant and submissive. Dominant voice is lower and expresses confidence, people are more interested in what you say, trust you more and want to listen to you. The great example is Tony Robbins, a coach trainer, and entrepreneur.
The submissive voice is higher and expresses shyness, lack of confidence and doubt in yourself. This voice signalizes that you are seeking approval or validation from others. People will distrust and forget about what you have to say.
Subconsciously your voice is influence your level of confidence. To reverse this process you need to practice the confident way of speaking.
We have two mediums of vocal projection: your chest and your head, lower an higher voice. The first step is to understand this difference. Let’s do the exercise, think about that you are talking from your head and now switch the center of your voice to the chest. You can do it humming to feel the vibration. When you will exercise a lot it will be easier to feel this difference, than it’s great to exaggerate witch your chest voice, talk loud read at loud something in very low voice tonality. Doing this 3 things you will train your voice to go down a bit and sound more confident.
Take action: Exercise 3 minutes daily in your morning routine before the mirror, because in the morning your voice is naturally lower, when you will practice in the morning it will be easier to implement that pitch permanently. Just stay in front of the mirror and for 3 minutes speak something. Train hard and gain more confidence in your voice.
3. Learn circle of confidence technique
I remember when I was training public speaking, to be fully confident and have empowering emotions I used the technique named circle of confidence. It’s crazy but really works, it’s all about creating an anchor of empowering emotions in your mind using senses.
You need to imagine the orange circle just before you and associate it with desirable emotions of full confidence.
So I dressed up like million bucks to watch myself in the mirror, spray my favorite fragrance to smell confidence, play best music to hear it and stand like alpha male to express my confidence focusing on that circle, when emotions are at the highest point step into the circle and feel like they flow through you. When you have a low level of confidence simply recall that circle just in front of you, step at it and feel that confidence. This works very well and most importantly teaches you how to be in charge of your emotions.
Take action: Create your circle of confidence engaging all your senses. You need to imagine the orange circle just before you and associate it with desirable emotions of full confidence. Engage your senses and stand like an alpha male to express confidence focusing on that circle, when emotions are at the highest point step into the circle and feel like they flow through you.
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