“Often those that criticize others reveal what he himself lacks.” ― Shannon L. Alder
Throughout high school as a young teenager, I gave a damn about what others thought of me.
And believe me, as a kid there were critics in almost every direction I looked in.
Whether it be criticism’s and negativity towards:
- The way I look.
- How I dressed.
- The way I act.
- How I talk.
- The words I use.
- How I react.
- My first and second name.
- Likes and dislikes.
Criticism was plentiful. And that’s how brutal the society we live in can be towards us.
Maturing and growing from those experiences taught me a lot of valuable lessons in regards to criticism and naysayers.
I’ve come to learn not only why they do it, but more importantly, HOW to deal with it and adopt the right mindset for it.
I want to talk more about that in this post, so you can also stop giving a damn about what others think of you.
Letting others poison your mind with BS is limiting and can stop you from achieving the things you desire. So let’s avoid that at all costs.
You deserve better.
How To Stop Giving A Fuck About What People Think
1. Accept your flaws and imperfections
“What I am is how I came out. No one’s perfect and you just have to accept your flaws and learn to love yourself.” – Kelly Brook
Naysayers only point out your flaws and imperfections to make you feel bad about them. And because they feel bad about their own imperfections.
A lot of the criticism’s people throw at you are exaggerated and have little truth to them anyway.
If you accept your flaws and imperfections for what they are, you’ll no longer care about what others say. There won’t be any need to.
Nobody’s perfect and none of us need to be. Your flaws and imperfections are a part of who you are and what makes you unique.
Without your flaws and imperfections, you wouldn’t be the person you are today. And you wouldn’t have experienced the things you’ve experienced.
Once you realize that, you’ll no longer be a victim to what others think about you or the negative thoughts that come with it.
2. Write down the pros and cons of giving a damn
It’s said that Benjamin Franklin would write down the pros and cons of each difficult decision he made.
I want you to do the same thing and use the same principle for the sake of self awareness.
If I was to write it down my list would look like this.
- Thinking small.
- Focusing on the wrong things.
- Negative thoughts.
- Seeking approval and permission.
- Being too afraid to take action.
- Unproductive thinking.
- Can’t and won’t benefit me in anyway.
Sounds bias, right? But it’s true when you think about it.
In other words, there are no benefits to caring about what others think of me, but plenty of cons and negatives.
When you come to this realization, it’s pretty obvious what needs to be done and why it should be done.
Thinking it over logically puts things into perspective for you. Being emotional does not.
3. Realize it’s less about you and more about them.
“Haters don’t really hate you, they hate themselves;
because you’re a reflection of what they wish to be.” ― Yaira N
If you search a video on YouTube of a popular musician, like Justin Bieber, what will expect to see in the comments section?
- Unnecessary spite.
- False accusations.
That’s the point I’m making here. Most criticism’s and naysayers are really talking about themselves when they’re pointing fingers at you.
“When a man points a finger at someone else, he should remember that four of his fingers are pointing at himself.” – Louis Nizer
Nobody criticizes and belittles another person if they themselves are happy or feel good about themselves.
There’s no logic in that and wouldn’t make any sense.
A happy person bringing another person down is like a racist dating a person they’re racist towards.
It’s not going to happen, and you need to realize that to start caring less about what others think of you. It says more about them than it does about you.
4. Have purpose behind the actions you take.
“There is one quality which one must possess to win, and that is definiteness of purpose. The knowledge of what one wants, and a burning desire to possess it.” – Napoleon Hill
Steve Jobs had a purpose, and that purpose was to put a dent in the universe. That purpose alone drove him to achieve what he achieved in his lifetime.
When people criticized and tried talking him out of his dreams, do you think that was enough to stop him?
Do you think he even cared or let their criticism stop him? No way. His purpose was strong and that’s why he eventually fulfilled it.
When the purpose behind the actions you take isn’t strong enough, criticism can easily stop you from making a move.
But when your purpose is definite and clear, no amount of outside criticism can stop you from taking action.
So If you want to stop caring about what people think, purpose is a must. Or else your family members, friends, strangers and society will talk you out of it. 100% of the time.
To find your purpose, ask yourself:
- What is it I want more than anything?
- What do I care about?
- What is it I want to accomplish?
- What matters to me?
- Why am I doing what I’m doing?
- What’s the end goal?
- Who do I want to help?
Then giving a shit about what people think of you will be a thing of the past.