Premature ejaculation is embarrassing. Even if you’re lucky enough to be with a partner that understands, I’m sure after hearing “it’s all right” a few times you felt that what she really wants is longer-lasting sex and an intense orgasm.
Sadly, the Internet has become saturated with scams, lotions, ointments, and pills all promising instant relief and endless stamina. That’s why I decided to find out what actually does work. But before we get started with how you can overcome premature ejaculation and make long lasting gains, let’s lay some groundwork:
Is long lasting sex actually good sex?
The answer to this question is a big fat NO. Female porn stars rarely experience orgasm despite long-lasting penetration.
Why? Because sex mostly takes place in our minds – especially for women! You do need time to get her going (5-10 minutes), but penetration time is absolutely no guarantee of success. She has to feel comfortable with you and find you attractive (not just in a physical way, but character-wise).
Is sex actually that important to women?
It’s certainly not the most important factor in a relationship, but it definitely plays a large role. My personal view is that you first have to enjoy being together and love each other. But great sex is the second most important factor. We’re still animals after all and it’s a basic human need. If you’re lacking in the sexual department, your relationship may suffer in the long-term.
All right, let’s get to some solutions:
1. Control arousal by adjusting your breathing
It may sound lame but the way you breathe during intercourse plays a big role in how your body and mind interpret sexual stimulation.
Don’t: Hold your breath for extended periods of time or take shallow, fast breaths. We tend to do this automatically because it increases the intensity of stimulation.
Do: Keep a steady breathing pace. Take slow, deep breaths into your abdomen, especially when you’re close to orgasm.
2. Classic Kegel excercises
Named after Dr. Arnold Kegel, these exercises were designed to strengthen the pelvic floor muscles. This area is located between your anus and the base of your penis. The best way to see them in action is to squeeze your muscles while urinating, trying to hold back the stream. They also contribute to your ejaculation reflex by triggering the release of seminal fluid.
You can develop and strengthen these muscles by squeezing them 10-20 times a day or use more advanced Kegel training exercises. Knowing when exactly to squeeze or release the muscles to delay the ejaculation reflex is the real trick (reverse Kegel).
3. Hack your mind to last longer in bed
During intercourse, our brain controls most of our experience. So it’s a good bet to first improve where the action happens most, right? Unfortunately, thinking about your grandmother while having sex probably won’t do the trick. We have to look deeper, into your subconscious mind, the place you want to “reprogram.”
You can use NLP (Neurolinguistic Programming) and hypnosis to peer into your subconscious mind and uncover negative patterns, and even implement new ones. Given the proper tools, this method can be extremely effective!
4. Improve your diet and “fix” hormones naturally
Hormones are the fourth largest contributor to premature ejaculation. Some hormone deficiencies cause premature ejaculation. I’m talking about serotonin and dopamine. This is why antidepressants are used to treat PE–but they come with huge side effects like loss of sex drive and fatigue.
By adjusting your diet and with the help of some natural supplements, you can achieve similar results – without all the harmful side effects. One of these supplements is 5-HTP, an amino acid that helps your brain produce serotonin instead of chemically blocking its reuptake like antidepressants do.