How to Satisfy an Older Woman Sexually

By Patrick Banks

Posted 8 months agoSEX

As women age, their sexual experiences go through shifts influenced by various factors. With age, women tend to think less about sex, experience reduced vaginal lubrication, and face challenges in sexual satisfaction. This decline is often linked to lower estrogen levels and the availability of an interested partner. Sensitivity to touch also diminishes, so the journey to orgasm becomes more nuanced, and orgasms become briefer. 

All sexual encounters involve mutual participation, but women’s arousal tends to be more intricate and elusive compared to men, regardless of age. In light of this, we’ve prepared this guide on how to set the mood for mature women. 

Stick with us as we unveil the secrets of satisfying an older woman sexually. 


In any relationship, communication is the cornerstone of long-term happiness and success. For older women, articulating needs and desires becomes crucial in navigating the changes in the physical and functional aspects of sex. Create a judgment-free environment with an open dialogue to address the changes in her body, shifts in desire, and her overall performance. By making her feel comfortable in her own body, you make her feel more comfortable sexually, contributing to a better sexual life. 

Do Romantic Gestures

For older women, spontaneous sex might not always be practical, so it’s important to maintain romance, especially in a long-term relationship. Regular date nights, sweet text messages, and romantic gestures that express love keep the flame alive and serve as a potent aphrodisiac that sustains sexual desire.

Relax and De-Stress Her

Having a planned approach to sexual activity, setting aside dedicated time, and eliminating distractions can contribute to a more relaxed and fulfilling sexual experience. Take time to prepare a relaxing atmosphere where she can unwind from everyday stress and immerse herself in the sex. Unwind with activities like a bath, meditation, massage, or deep breathing to create a conducive environment for intimacy.

Go Slow

Aging can lead to decreased tissue density and elasticity in the vulva and vagina. Along with other factors like reduced energy and health concerns, you should approach sex with older women carefully and slowly. Foreplay is a critical aspect of female arousal, and the importance of foreplay grows with age. A gradual approach allows time to get her horny and sets a comfortable pace for sexual activities. 

Keep in mind that menopausal changes can also impact vaginal lubrication, so to make sex more pleasurable and avoid discomfort, use plenty of lubrication.

Be Confident

Navigate the bedroom confidently, even if you’re inexperienced or less experienced than her. Avoid projecting insecurity or shyness during foreplay and sex and instead engage in confident kisses and exploration. Take your time with foreplay; for older women, the emphasis in sexual encounters lies in the journey rather than the destination.

If there are any hiccups, such as struggling with a bra strap, simply laugh and continue without dwelling on your lack of experience. Be vigilant of any signals or signs she provides. Whether she verbally guides you or expresses preferences, be attentive.  Look for non-verbal cues when gauging her reactions, such as leaning in (indicating approval) or pulling away slightly (suggesting discomfort) to know what she really wants.

Explore and Experiment

Trying new things, whether in terms of positions, role-playing, or other fantasies, can reignite desire and arousal. It allows you to discover what turns your partner on, promoting a dynamic and fulfilling sexual relationship.

Embrace Sex Toys

The market offers a variety of sex toys suitable for partnered or solo play for all ages. Introducing sex toys can be a playful and effective way to enhance arousal, especially if challenges are present. Beyond the physical aspects, these toys inject an element of playfulness and shared excitement into the bedroom, fostering a deeper connection. 

When selecting sex toys for older women, it’s essential to prioritize comfort, ease of use, and personal preferences. Here are some age-friendly toys you can try to spice things up in the bedroom: 

● Clitoral vibrators: Clitoral stimulation can enhance arousal and pleasure. Consider compact, ergonomic vibrators designed for external stimulation.

● G-Spot vibrators: Targeting the G-spot can lead to intense orgasms. Opt for curved vibrators with variable speeds for customizable sensations.

● Wand massagers: Powerful and versatile, wand massagers are great for both external and internal stimulation. Look for wand massagers with adjustable intensity levels.

● Dildos: Dildos offer a realistic feel and can be used for both vaginal and anal play. Choose body-safe materials and sizes that match individual comfort levels.

● Kegel balls: Consider buying Kegel Balls to strengthen her pelvic floor muscles, promote better sexual health, and improve sexual performance. Opt for kegel balls with various weight options for progressive training.

● Erotic literature or audio: Incorporating mental stimulation can enhance overall satisfaction, especially with mature women. Explore erotic literature or audio content tailored to her personal preferences. 

Accept Her Kinks

Older women proudly embrace their desires in the bedroom, unapologetically enjoying what pleases them. They acknowledge their kinks and appreciate partners who reciprocate the same level of acceptance.

Whether it’s indulging in roleplaying with strap on panties, exploring BDSM, or rope bondage, don’t hesitate to suggest and explore kinky ideas. Older women often exhibit open-mindedness and a sense of adventure in bed, so embrace it fully to maximize your and her sexual experience. 

Consider Medications and Supplements

When other methods prove insufficient, seeking professional advice on sexual medications or supplements becomes a viable option. Don’t be ashamed to discuss your sexual health with a healthcare professional so they can give you recommendations that are tailored to your individual needs.

Can Women Be Sexually Active After 50? 

A 50-year-old woman can indeed remain sexually active, and doing so brings various physical and mental health benefits: it’s a form of exercise, a natural mood enhancer, and contributes to stress reduction.

While sexual activity is feasible after 50, decreased estrogen levels after menopause may lead to challenges with vaginal lubrication and reduced libido. However, this doesn’t mean that women can’t have great sex after 50, as many, in fact, have it. The only thing you need to do is listen to her needs and respond accordingly. While it may be challenging at times, navigating sexual activity at an older age can be a rewarding experience, so make sure you don’t miss it.

How to Recognize if an Older Woman Enjoys Sex With You

A key indicator that a mature woman enjoys having sex with you lies in her body language. Pay close attention to the subtle cues during sex, such as the positioning of her hands. If she’s pulling you closer, displaying a look of ecstasy, or expressing pleasure through moans, these are positive signs that her desires are met. Additionally, an older woman who initiates frequent sexual encounters with you is likely enjoying the sex itself. Finally, older women tend to be open and straightforward about their sexual satisfaction, so they will likely let you know and spare you any uncertainties about the quality of your performance.

About the author Patrick Banks

Patrick is a Berlin-based dating advisor, motivational speaker, a huge fitness and vegan diet enthusiast and the main editor at Wingman Magazine, specialised in men's health. His ultimate goal is to share with men around the world his passion for self-development and to help them to become the greatest version of themselves. He believes a healthy body and successful social interactions are two main keys to happiness.

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