What You’re Holding On To Is Holding You Back From Meeting Girls

By Will Chou

Posted 7 years agoUncategorized

It took me years and years to work up the courage to tell any girl I did not know that she was gorgeous.

And when I finally able to, I went on a rampage.
I told a lot of girls I never met that they were “beautiful” or “cute” in an attempt to get my first date.
And it almost never worked. Yet I kept doing it stubbornly for year and years.

So why did I keep doing it despite the overwhelming evidence?

  • Because it had taken me so long to push past my fears and work up the courage to do it.
  • Because I put so much energy into it that I could not consider that it wasn’t the best approach.
  • Because everyone else told me it was the “more difficult” and “more challenging” approach to do. Some men were blown away that you had the balls to do something like that. There were tons of YouTube videos with guys doing it. Like this one:


But at the end of the day, all that matters is reality. Here’s what these videos don’t tell you…

These girls never respond after you get their number.

It just does not work well. And there are two big reasons for this:

1. Attractive girls get this all the time.

Just giving you her number is the often the easiest way for her to avoid draining confrontation. Because she get approached like this very often (sometimes, by guys that won’t leave her alone).

How do I know? Psychological surveys show that most men are in high agreement on which women they find attractive. That means that if you find her hot, a lot of other guys do too. You’re probably not the only one hitting on her.

These videos on the Internet convince more people to do this. It becomes annoying when everyone is doing the same thing. You don’t stand out but blend in with everyone else. A compliment about how “hot” she is quickly becomes a common event for her.

2. You don’t get a chance to connect with her and show your other attractive traits

Talking to her on the street is a short amount of time.

As seen in the video, a compliment and an immediate ask from a number from a stranger gives you little time to show any value or trust.

And most men underestimate how important trust is for her. She has no idea who you are, how delusional you are, and how safe you are.

Imagine walking around in a world where half the gender is 40 pounds heavier than you with twice the upper body strength. That’s the average woman’s life. There is great potential for rape. And therefore, you have to address that.

It sounds crazing or overboard, but the research makes it clear.

Where I got all this information from and further reading

I have just touched the surface with some of this stuff. I got this all from a new book called Mate: Become the Man Women Want, which goes into great detail on how to become an attractive man by going through evolutionary biology and psychology research.

It’s the A to Z guide to dating for men.

You will learn some startling truth like:

  • What most women have to go through before they are comfortable with you.
  • What traits you have completely ignored that you can improve to be more attractive.

What I have said so far is a generalization. If you are physically attractive, well dressed, or funny enough, such a basic approach could work for you. If the girl comes from a small town or lives a lonely lifestyle, a compliment might work. There’s a lot of variables at play.

But overwhelmingly, these principles still hold true. And they will hold true 100 years from now. That’s the power of something timeless. They will help you and they will help your grandchildren.

If you want to learn more about this, I highly encourage you to read the book Mate: Become the Man Women Want because of the evolutionary biology that we live by that won’t change any time soon.

But this goes beyond dating

So back to my story. I stuck with an opening line that was ineffective even though the numbers proved it because of my psychology.

Have you ever done the same? Can you use this story to save years of time by recognizing a similar mental block and stopping it before it happens?

Trust me, this goes beyond dating to life and business.

In 1998, Elon Musk and his friends cofounded Paypal, which started as a super complicated banking system product. And very few people bothered to become customers.

Yet they had this small but rapidly growing group of customers who wanted to use the simplest part of Paypal (the online-money transfer) for this random little auction site called Ebay.

They stubbornly clung to their complicated product and told the Ebay folks to go away.

It made sense on a psychological level. Just like me, they had put so much work into something that did not pay off. Yet something simpler was proving more profitable.

It is like spending years crafting a beautiful sculpture and finding you can only sell these tiny trinkets that take you ten seconds to make.

But Elon was smart. Otherwise, he would not be the Elon Musk we know today.

He eventually ran with eBay and his companies are now globally recognized brands.

Are you going to be like Elon Musk or the average frustrated guy who clings stubbornly to his “efforts”?

I challenge you to think smarter.

The world is a weird place. Sometimes, the easier method that takes less work creates more results.

But we screw it up because we let our beliefs and past efforts attach us to inefficient behavior.

We are told that hard work brings success (which is often true). So we put in the work others aren’t willing to. But we sometimes get so caught up in this idea that we cannot let it go and pivot when the truth is obvious.

I challenge you to be the guy who recognizes when to pivot and actually pivots when it is time. This is for your own good to save yourself years of time and unnecessary effort.

See you at the top, where the air is fresh.

About the author Will Chou

Will Chou uses science and curated study of the world's best to help Millenials perform better, feel happier, achieve their goals, and earn more. He blogs and podcasts at Willyoulaugh.com.

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