We all love to give gifts, especially to our significant others. Some do so because they might have difficulties expressing emotions verbally, preferring other methods for doing so.
The problem with using gifts to verbalize feelings is that a present (or several) can sometimes say something you don’t intend. Learn what you shouldn’t give your boyfriend as a gift at bridestory.com.
Of course, in a rational state, we all know extravagance is something that should be avoided. You can’t, after all, put a price on how you feel about someone. That means you should keep it simple and within reasonable limits.
Unfortunately, when you’re in love, especially newly so, all rational thought processes can go out the window, and many of us act the fool.
You want to shower a potential partner with the world in those instances, and the cost is not an object. It would be nice if, in this frame of mind, someone could place us in some sort of invisible restraints to avoid the awkwardness we’re creating for ourselves with our mates.
Unfortunately, while many tell you to stop or that it’s sending the wrong message, you power on. Let us help before you go any further. Check out a few things warranted as going a bit over the top, and if you’re doing any of these, stop it.
Don’t Do This When You Give Your Boyfriend Gifts
When giving thoughtful gifts for a boyfriend or significant other, there’s a right and a wrong way. The act serves as a non-verbal language all its own. Presenting a gift is a form of self-expression of feelings that often people have difficulties verbalizing.
Still, you don’t want to get all sloppy with your emotions by over inundating someone with extravagant gifts or piles of packages, especially if it’s a new love. That can prove intimidating or even off-putting, scaring them away.
You might be excited, thrilled even, by the way, this person makes you feel, and with the times you spend together but save your jubilance for screaming into your pillow and reel in the spending. Here are a few things you might be doing wrong.
- You’re giving in excess
It’s great to give a gift on an appropriate occasion or even as a special gesture . . . once in a while. For some people, this is how they speak their feelings. Some are unable to fully express the magnitude of their love except through giving. Unfortunately, to give consistently and in volume might do the opposite of what you’re intending.
If you’re giving gifts with each date or holding a massive celebration for week anniversaries, it can begin to come across as desperate. A boyfriend or significant other might start to feel as though you’re attempting to keep them with presents.
It could make him turn away from you instead of running into your arms. Unless, of course, he’s the kind of person looking for stuff, and then you need to stop and find someone who loves you for you.
- Expectations attached
Never give a gift without doing so pure of heart. A gift given with expectations attached is genuinely self-indulgent and loses all meaning. If your mate finds out your reasoning behind the package, it can sincerely mean the death of a partnership.
It’s essential to think long and hard before you shop with ill intentions. Suppose you buy the most fantastic gift for Valentine’s day with the anticipation that perhaps your partner will be either spending an equal amount or at least getting something just as lovely.
Instead, he feels jetting you off to a magnificent dinner and a show plus showering you with roses is sufficient (isn’t it?), but you have another idea about that. It could turn horrid, really fast. What if you would have offered to join in the cost of the festivities rather than wallow so much on a present?
You would have both had a wonderful time with absolutely no expectations creating the ultimate argument eventually ruining the holiday. It would help if you learned upfront how to communicate with your boyfriend about gift giving so you’re both on the same page, and then these “wars” can be avoided altogether. See here rules for buying your boyfriend gifts.
- Spending extravagantly
Just because you might earn a great living doesn’t mean you need to spend outlandishly on a gift for your boyfriend. It could very easily make him uncomfortable, especially if you haven’t been dating long. Regardless of how great or how little you spend, it’s not going to designate your value as a person.
When you love someone, if he has declared this to you, whatever you give him will please him because it came from you. The idea is to be sincere with your intentions, so the meaning is felt. That’s where the “special” lies.
It’s great to be generous and loving in a partnership but try not always to be the initiator or the only one doing so. That’s a lopsided relationship, and it’s much different than having expectations. A partnership is giving on both sides with love, kindness, generosity, and respect.
If you are giving of yourself in every way, a present here or there, saying “I love you,” scheduling dates, or any act of kindness but never receive, it’s not the right relationship for you. You do deserve someone just like yourself and shouldn’t stop until you find it.