How to Break Up With Someone You Still Love

By Alex J. Stevenson

Posted 5 years agoDATING

Breaking up with someone that you have had a relationship with is often a painful process. During your time together you created memories and formed bonds to that person.

You may have also spent much time trying to make the relationship work when problems first began to surface, only to find in time that the relationship could not be saved.

It is difficult to let go of that which you have invested so much of your time and your life into.

In the end, you may realize that you and that person are not compatible for the long haul and you recognize the need to let the other person go.

Whether they leave you or you leave them, the breakup will have an impact on your emotions.

Even if you no longer have strong feelings for that person, ending the relationship can still be challenging to overcome. What is even more difficult is learning how to break up with someone you still love.

Although it seems impossible, you can recover from a breakup even though you still love the other person.

Altering your system of beliefs and learning a few basic facts can truly teach you to become resilient to breakups. The process is much easier than you realize.

Whether it takes you a few days or a few years to recover from a breakup is influenced by your beliefs about love and relationships.

When you learn to alter your beliefs, you become more capable of overcoming breakups quickly, even with someone you still have strong feelings for.

Here are a few basic facts you need to know that will help you to change your beliefs and allow you to get over your breakups fast.

1) It is more about you than them 

Often times when two people get into a relationship they fall in love with the feeling they get more than they are really in love with the other person.

When you stop to analyze yourself as it pertains to romantic relationships, you may begin to recognize that you, like many others, fall into this trap.

When you begin a relationship with someone, you will usually find that you have feelings of increased confidence, you may become less focused on pre-existing problems, being with them may improve your feelings of self-worth or having that person in your life my help gratify unmet needs.

All of these scenarios intensify your feelings in the relationship, but they do not actually represent your love for that other person.

When you recognize that the feelings you had with that person were more about your own issues and needs, you become more capable of breaking up with that person, even though in your mind you still love them.

2) Don’t believe the lie 

Do not fall victim to the belief that there is only one person out there that you are destined to be with.

This thought process is a lie that will make breaking up with someone you still love even harder.

This common misconception can lead you to hold onto your feelings for the other person because you falsely believe that you are letting your potential “soul-mate” get away.

There is no truth to this theory and the sooner you recognize that fact it will make learning how to breakup someone you still love much more successful.

It is important to understand that the potential exists for you to meet and fall in love with many different people.

You may find that you tend to gravitate toward a certain type of personality or temperament, but there are a lot of potential partners with those particular qualities.

Understanding that you can fall in love and be happy with any one of a number of people, helps to overcome the lie that you are losing the one you were destined to be with.

3) Avoid common mistakes 

After a breakup, take steps to help you to recover quickly. There are common mistakes that people make that cause the breakup to be more difficult to overcome. Isolating yourself, holding onto the hope of getting back together, fueling sad thoughts and feelings, can all prolong the process of overcoming a breakup.

Being proactive with your choices immediately after a breakup can greatly increase your ability to recover, despite your continued feelings of love for that person.

Let go of the hope of getting back together, reconnect with friends, restore your social life, and avoid sad songs and movies that will keep you feeling despondent about the breakup.

Your thoughts and actions after a breakup have a big impact on your ability to let go of your feelings for that other person.

Control your thoughts and take appropriate action

As you can see, learning how to break up with someone you still love is a matter of changing your beliefs and being deliberate with your actions.

Understanding the beliefs that you have formed about love and the true source of the feelings you had when you were with that person is very impactful to your ability to recover from a breakup.

Recognizing that the relationship may simply have been satisfying unmet needs or influencing your perception of self-worth, helps you to let go of the attachment to the person that you feel that you still love.

Letting go of the belief that there is only one person that you are destined to be with, frees you to seek love and friendship with a new partner.

Taking active steps in how you use your time and energy after a breakup can truly have a powerful affect on the time it takes to get over the other person, despite your perceived feelings for them.

Rather than applying these practices to your life after a painful breakup, learn to understand these principles in advance and you will save yourself unnecessary heartache the next time you find yourself overcoming an unsuccessful relationship.

About the author Alex J. Stevenson

Alex J. Stevenson is founder of - the ultimate source to get over exes and creator of the training material ‘The Master Training Kit: How to Get Over Your Ex In 14 Days’. If you are feeling down right now, then he is providing just what you really need at this moment.

2 thoughts on “How to Break Up With Someone You Still Love

  1. I want to break up with my current bf, bc it’s just that time. I’m not really ready to be in a relationship and although I love things bout being in a relationship, all the things I can’t stand, really stand out. I really feel like I should just pretend to love this guy bc he’s great with my kids. I want to check out emotionally, but stay in it until I’m 35-38 when my girls are practically grown. I could use the love and support that I recieve from him for my girls and myself, he’s not a bad guy to have around. & then I could have the ‘somewhat’ foundation to do the things that I need to do in life and move on. Just fake it. That’s all a relationship is anyway. I consider the 40s to still be pretty young. I believe women do this. A small as percentage. Let’s test those acting skills out. From this day forward, I want to pull emotion out, real emotion out. And just act my ass off, in a long ass movie. 🙂

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