Break ups f@ing suck.
I won’t argue with you there…
But there is a way to go about breaking up with a girl without breaking her heart.
And having spent the last 3 years in perpetual travel, I had to learn a thing or two on the subject.
Manage F@cking Expectations!!!
“Where I am going, you can’t follow…” – Casablanca
I had to start here…
This is literally the biggest issue I see with guys when it comes to their relationships…
They simply have no clue how to manage their relationships and so they get into these deals with women that are almost contractual, ineffective, and constraining.
If you find yourself ‘stuck’ in a relationship against your will, YOU are responsible for it.
Let me make this absolutely clear: Whatever happens in your relationship with a woman, from the second you meet her, to the second you break it off, you are responsible.
Does that seem unfair? Too bad.
You are responsible for walking up and speaking to her.
You are responsible for getting her attracted to you.
You are responsible for taking her on a date and getting her to like you.
You are responsible for every night you spend together.
Even if SHE has her emotions out of whack – you are responsible. It’s your fault.
If you’re thinking ‘Oh well that’s not right, that seems like a lot of responsibility’ then maybe you aren’t cut out for this…
Because she sure as hell doesn’t give a damn about your excuses – she’s looking for a man who can HANDLE her, and a man who can handle himself is a man who can handle a woman.
So how do you manage expectations?
Lay them out!
I’ll always tell a woman, even from the very beginning: “I like you now, I’ll like you tomorrow. After that, no promises. If you can handle that, and are up to the challenge, you and I are gonna get along just great.”
There have been approximately 2 women in the last 6 years who had trouble with this arrangement.
When you’re ready to settle down and be exclusive – tell her!
“I like you, and I want to be with only you.”
Not exactly rocket science.
Now, the next part is super important:
Stop Being Selfish!
I’ve noticed this feminised trend in men nowadays…
Even though the relationship has lost it’s spark, they tend to stick in it because… Well… ‘I don’t want to be alone!’
Even though the relationship does not live up to their expectations, they stay in it because ‘what if I don’t find someone better?’ even though they’re clearly not meant to be together.
Congrats! You sound like a 39 year old cat lady… I’m sure that’s behaviour every quality gal is craving for.
Man. The F**k. Up.
Life is not a romantic comedy gentlemen. The lovable loser doesn’t get the girl in the end.
The extraordinary men do.
So how does an extraordinary man break up with a woman?
The Cardinal Rule
This rule is by no means my own invention – it has been around from time immemorial, and it goes like this:
Always leave her better than you found her.
With that in mind, to break up without breaking her heart, is to give her the absolute unwavering truth.
I’m sure you didn’t expect that…
I’m sure you wanted me to give you an easy out – some kind of verbal jiu jitsu that will break you out of your unwanted contract while keeping the possibility of sex on the table…
A man confronts his issues and faces them head on. Only feminized manboys try to skirt their problems and manoeuvre their way through the eggshells of other people’s feelings.
The point being, you need to man up, and tell them what you are thinking…
That the relationship has lost it’s spark.
That you both deserve better.
And that you wish her well, and sincerely hope she finds what she’s looking for.
And after that, you walk off into the sunset like a man.
She’ll be sad at first, but she’ll understand, and she will always respect you for it, because you never tried to lie to her, you never manipulated her, and she could always trust your intentions.
“Where I’m going, you can’t follow. What I’ve got to do, you can’t be any part of. Ilsa, I’m no good at being noble, but it doesn’t take much to see that the problems of three little people don’t amount to a hill of beans in this crazy world. Someday you’ll understand that.” – Casablanca