How to Shave THERE: 10 Considerations to Shave Your Junk Like a Pro
The social awkwardness of admitting you shave your man-parts has dissipated in recent years. Several contributing factors have helped to remove the stigma, including social media and Youtube. There are no shortage of attention-seeking Youtubers willing to talk about their own personal hair removal routine for everything from their rectum to their nipples.
I suppose it goes without saying: the more people are doing it, the more accepting the manscaping ritual becomes.
For those willing to venture into the wild world of shaving your junk, it will not only be important to consider both the pros and cons from a high-level, but dive into some of the seemingly minute details that could prove detrimental, particularly if you are taking a sharp razor to your tenders of tenders.
Why Shave Your Man Parts?
Fortunately shaving your genitals is not like getting a tattoo. If you don’t like the look and feel, you can simply wait a few weeks.
The ease of moving betwixt a lion’s mane and a hairless mouse should still engender some consideration for the reasons to consider trimming and shaving your pubes:
- Cleaner. Having a nicely trimmed penis and scrotum means your nether regions will be that much cleaner.
- Less Smelly. Less hair means less surface area for your crotch sweat to adhere. Less sweat adherence means less bacteria and less stink. “I love a stinky penis!” said no one, ever.
- More Sensual. Having well-trimmed and shaved pubic hair is likely to get you more attention from the lady friends in your life.
- The Feel. Many men simply love the feel of having less hair down there. Perhaps is the lack of hair friction, perhaps it’s the airflow.
Shaving your junk has a whole host of benefits. On the other hand, not shaving your crotch is the status quo. It is the natural state of every penis on the planet. Unless you have a hormone that caused you to miss puberty, you should already be aware of what it’s like to have hair down there.
I have often heard bearded men complain about the sensitivity associated with shaving their face. If you think shaving your face is tender, think about what it means to take a sharp razor to your most sacredly soft region. With that in mind, it will be helpful to discuss some pre-shave preparation techniques as you get ready for the deforestation.
It is best to prepare the area by disinfecting. It will be tempting to manscape your man parts after a sweaty job or a session at the gym but doing so increases the likelihood of having bacteria present. Couple bacteria with even a small razor cut and you have the perfect combination for infection. If we are talking about penises (and we are) I choose erection over infection every day of the week. So, keep it clean down there and shower before you shave boys.
Shave Venue & Prep
Unlike shaving your face, shaving your balls tends to produce much more post-shave run-off. If you’re a first timer or it’s been a while, you are going to have even more foliage to dispose of.
Certainly, the privacy of your restroom will be the ideal, but that’s not the only consideration. Many would-be manscapers tend to prepare further by thoroughly thinking about clean-up beforehand. Doing so, requires thinking about both the trimming and shaving process.
Many of the most prolific will use newspaper, a paper or plastic bag or even a towel to catch the hair in the trimming pre-shave phase and then move to the shower for the direct shave. Some will perform the entire process in the tub or shower, simply scooping the remains or rinsing them all down the drain post-shave. Whatever your preference, be cognizant of the copious foliage fall-off you will be required to clean-up post-shave and plan ahead.
Before you go straight into busting out your razor for the shave, it is best advised to use a pair of hair or beard trimmers to cut the old-growth down to shrubbery. Doing so, will make your shaving a bit smoother and fluid, particularly if you plan on using a cartridge razor as your razor of choice.
The trimmer phase is also best performed either in the shower or accompanied by that bag or newspaper referenced previously.
Lubricate Your Balls
Preparing to shave this sensitive area is best accomplished through the application of some pre-shave oil. Lubricating the region may sound a bit kinky, but trust me, if you want to do it right, lubricating the hairs with more than water even before the cream and soap are used will be helpful for a few reasons.
First, the more lubricated the hair, the more easily your sharp razor will glide over its surface, making the shave smooth and clean.
“But,” you may ask, “isn’t that what my shaving cream is for?” Cream is important, but when it comes to your genitals, you can never be too safe. Throw on some pre-shave oil. If you don’t have any, a few simple drops of olive oil will do the trick.
Lastly, pre-shave oil tends to further prepare the hair for the application of cream or soap that will come in subsequent steps.
Shaving Cream vs. Shaving Soap
While determining whether you lather up your man lumps with soap or cream is a personal preference, there are a few considerations as to your cream weapon of choice. Any type of quality shave cream or shave soap will be fine.
The more weighty consideration is whether or not you should use your favorite shaving brush to apply the soap or cream. Yes, shaving brushes are great skin exfoliants and work well for applying lather to the face, but unless you purchase a brush dedicated to your dong, I would be leery of using the same brush on your next beard trim, regardless of how clean you are during your crotch-shaving session.
Use a cream and if you lather and apply with a shave brush, do so with one that is marked “for my penis only.”
Did you notice how “dry shaving” was not even mentioned as an option here?
Under no circumstance should any man be dry shaving his penis. Keep your tenders protected with a shaving lubricant of some type. More is more here. Performing a crotch shave with less lubricant does not make you more of a man. It just makes you stupid.
Apart from any other factor, your razor of choice will be the most critical component in your regular crotch-shave routine. Yes, shaving your crotch with a straight cutthroat razor may sound cool, but you don’t want to John Bobbitt yourself into eunuch-hood.
Your safest choices will be between a standard multi-cartridge razor or a quality safety razor. The differences, pros and cons between safety razors and cartridge razors have been oft-repeated, but here are a few that will be most important for your penis health than any other.
- Single blade safety razors do not pull and tug like multi-blade cartridges. Even if you have already trimmed your manhood, there is a higher likelihood of uncomfortable pulling and tugging if you use a multiblade cartridge razor. The single blade nature of a safety razor provides an easier glide on longer course hairs. Public hairs certainly apply here.
- Cartridge razors cut closer on a single pass. This is not necessarily a positive feature. The closer the shave, the higher likelihood of both ingrown hairs and/or razor bumps. Safety razors allow you to customize the length of the hair by performing a multi-pass shave—or not.
- Safety razors require more skill. If you do plan on using a safety razor to trim your junk, be sure to do so after some experience shaving your face. Yes, it is safer than a straight razor, but the likelihood of a cut or nick is still higher with a safety razor than with your standard Walmart cartridge razor. Get some experience before you go buck-wild down there.
- Safety razors are cheaper. Compare $0.10 to $0.50 per blade compared to $4.00 for your more expensive multi-blade cartridges and you’re talking about an annual savings in the hundreds of dollars. Now that something to get hard about.
After rinsing and drying your cleanly-shaved crotch, you may want to apply some sweet-smelling man balm to your penis, scrotum and undercarriage. If this is for you, I would suggest using alcohol-free aftershaves or post-shave balms to help you maintain a quality aroma.
Lotions and other quality moisturizers will also be helpful in keeping the area nice and lubricated and smelling great. Want things to stay extra kinky? Add a squirt of your crotch’s new favorite cologne.
If you have taken some of the previously mentioned considerations seriously (i.e. using newspaper or the shower to shave), your cleanup should be a snap. No one likes stray pubes floating in the bathroom. If you have roommates or a significant other around, the more likely you are to annoy them by leaving long, stray, short-n-curly hairs on the bathroom floor. Cleaning up the floor and washing the strays down the shower is well-advised.
Unfortunately, the shaving of one’s crotch, if left unkept and not regularly tended-to will lead to an even more awkward grow-out phase than your third grade bowel cut. A complete shave grow-out will include the prickles of a porcupine sitting on a cactus.
Consequently, you will be advised not to start the process of a complete crotch shave unless you plan on performing the same routine regularly in the future. In some cases, performing the routine itself will be its own impetus for continuing your manscaping tradition every week or two. The not-so-soft prickles will be their own reminder that “it’s time.”
Crotch Chaff & Other Nasties
If you though razor bumps and razor burn were uncomfortable on your face, imagine that same effect on your shaft. Not cool.
One of the biggest downsides of shaving your crotch is that once you do it, there will be stubble and regrowth. Unless you regularly trim thereafter, that stubble and regrowth can 1) cause dreaded crotch chaffing or 2) become ingrown, causing painful and ghastly razor bumps. Unfortunately for us men, if the razor bumps reach their pinnacle of severity, they look more like an STD than a shaving mishap. If your pubes are curly (like 100% of everyone else on this planet), then you may want to consider what that could mean for the closeness of your shave. The closer the shave, the greater the potential for ingrown hairs.
The Crotchety Conclusion
While shaving your twig and berries is not new, the prolific nature of people speaking out about it has certainly increased. It reminds me of the rhetorical question posed regarding marathoners:
“How can you tell if someone has [run a marathon]?” (substitute with [shaves his crotch])
“Oh, don’t worry, he’ll tell you.”
Once the manscaping conversation is breached, even among strangers, there remains no shortage of those wiling to go into grotesque detail of how they personally shave their genitals. If you personify “that guy” at least do so armed with professional knowledge for doing your boys a serious solid in the shaving department.