They show confidence in themselves, but it is only an appearance, as they have low self-esteem and continued feelings of emptiness and loneliness. What they show to others is the facade, in order to protect themselves and to project an image of success. It is very difficult to understand and deal with such people but you can get insights about how to deal with them in this article.
The influence of Greek mythology on psychology as we know is immense. Thus, one of those best-known references is undoubtedly the myth of Narcissus, which gave name to this personality profile and the clinical label that describes it.
Let’s remember the story: Narcissus was a young man of incomparable beauty who rejected all the maidens who fell in love with him. In the end, he was punished by the gods: he ended up falling in love with his own image. Unable to stop looking at his reflection, he threw himself into the water and died becoming the beautiful flower that bears his name.
Somehow, something that gives us to understand the original source of this myth is that disproportionate love for oneself cannot have a good ending. Narcissism forms a psychological category that describes a series of dysfunctional behaviors that must be known. Traits, behaviors, and dynamics that we do not always perceive so clearly.
What are the Characteristics of Narcissistic People?
1. First impression
Narcissistic people always look good at first. They build trust, encourage contact, and are fun. As they are based on the facade, when we get to know them, we will always see a good image.
They protect themselves and project an opposite image in order to cope with their insecurity. They tend to make others see that they are perfect, that they do not make mistakes, and that, therefore, they are above everything. Narcissistic people are often are popular, they are full of success and friends, and they surround themselves with material goods. They start from constructing an image based on “I have” instead of the true “I am”.
Their state of superiority makes them think that they have knowledge about everything. They are always right, which leads them to be highly intransigent and harsh with those who do not think like them. The empathy that they have been able to show at the beginning, at this point disappears.
They have a conception of the world identical to that of adolescents since they think that everything is built around themselves. For this reason, they put aside the empathy or emotions of others, since they believe that only what they think or feel exists.
5. Positive traits
When studying our personality, there is a general tendency to not like ourselves, to see negative aspects or things to improve. It is a bias that appears inverted in the narcissist: he loves his personality and social traits that are conceived as negative, he experiences them as something positive.
6. The other does not exist
The self-centered view of the world makes the needs of others not seen. Although it may seem like a simple lack of empathy, it really goes deeper.; they do not understand that others are also in the world and that they have individual needs to meet.
If there is one thing the narcissist is vulnerable to, it is criticism. What others think of themselves can make them feel hurt and show their vulnerability and aggressiveness.
Although the need to tend towards reasonable selfishness and concern for oneself is currently recognized, narcissism is consolidated as the extreme of this, without empathy or caring for others. A personality trait that leads to loneliness and hides insecurity and low self-esteem.
How to treat a narcissistic person
Here are the tips to keep in mind when dealing with a narcissistic person:
The first thing to keep in mind is that a narcissistic attitude can be caused by great insecurity and low self-esteem. These people, as a defense mechanism, develop a feeling of superiority to avoid fragility. Therefore, a narcissistic person is very dependent on the opinion of others and wants constant admiration and approval. However, you should only give him compliments if he deserves it and if they are real because otherwise, you will be feeding his attitude of greatness and superiority.
Your happiness depends, to a large extent, on the expression of appreciation that the people around you express to you. If you need to convey criticism, do so gently and sincerely. It is important for the person to understand that they are not questioning her/him, but their actions. If you speak tactfully, they will be more willing to listen to you.
Protect yourself from manpulation
It is important that you do not allow yourself to be manipulated. The person will want you to think like them and tell them what they want to hear. A narcissistic person considers that they do nothing wrong, which means that they need to blame someone for their failures and that someone can be you. If you end up feeling guilty, anxious, or manipulated and these types of emotions are not frequent in you, then be alert, because if you allow yourself to be manipulated, their attitude will be reinforced. You must set limits.
On the other hand, they also like to belittle the actions and achievements of others in order to feel more superior. Try not to take their criticism seriously by reminding yourself that it is for their good, not to attack you. If he’s someone you really love, let him see how the fact that he disqualifies you makes you feel. For example: “I feel like you want me to constantly support you without receiving the same in return.” Use specific examples and speak in the first person, without attacking.
A narcissistic person is capable of understanding the emotions of others and, therefore, is capable of having a loving relationship. However, it is very difficult for him to empathize, since he always sees his most important thing, above all else. They are also usually seductive, especially if they get something in return. On the other hand, they are distant and maintain an impression of self-sufficiency, so it can be very difficult to have a healthy relationship with him/her since these attitudes can make you suffer a lot.
How to cure narcissism?
Psychotherapy, as well as ayahuasca medicine and psychedelic mushroom microdosing used in secure space and proper guidance, are known as great ego tamers. Traumas from the past often oversensitive our ego which can lead to identity distortions such us narcissism.