The Psychology Behind Women’s Attraction to Sex Stories

By Patrick Banks

Posted 7 months agoSEX

Sex is great! But sex without a spice of imagination can be as boring as having no wi-fi. 

As humans, we can not act beyond our imagination, and that is why we have to learn. 

To gain a certain level of knowledge, we must feed our brains by reading, seeing, socialising, or feeling in our senses. 

Learning helps us improve our mental health and trains our brain how to handle expected and unexpected circumstances and even fuel our fantasies.

We all have sexual fantasies, however, some people, especially women fuel them by reading sex stories. 

According to research by Harold Leitenberg of The Journal of Sex Research, women who read romance or erotic novels have 74 percent more sex with their partners. 

He further stated that women who read more sexual stories have “better” sex with their partners than their contemporaries who are not associated with it.

Nevertheless, the pounding question remains: what is the psychology behind women’s attraction to sex stories?

1. To take a break from the real world. Escape the Real World

Reading sex stories is one of the routes women take to distract themselves from the chaos in their lives. It allows them to paint a picture of their world and govern it the way they want their reality to be. 

Most women even fall in love with their story characters to shy from what is happening around them in their love lives. Some claim that sexual stories help them manage or get rid of stress, depression, and family and work toxicity. 

2. To experience what healthy relationships feel like

While some women are so lucky with choosing friends and partners, some are not. 

The majority of women face unexplainable difficulties in their relationships and the only safe haven they can think of is reading sexual stories. 

Sexual stories create perfect scenarios that allow women to imagine what a healthy relationship feels like.  

Oftentimes,readers get inspired by these stories and act like their favourite characters in reality. 

This affects their communication, commitment, support, and sexual life with their partners. While this approach may seem funny, it’s part of their reality and fulfilment. 

Many women even turn to websites like Phone Sex Lines to play out their own sexual stories with a sense of anonymity and freedom, knowing that they won’t face any repercussions.

3. Postnatal Anxiety

This is a situation where a mother experiences severe anxiety after childbirth. This condition is so common that most women easily relate to the problem when they see new mothers acting weird.

After welcoming a child, none of the parents can feel the same anymore. Not the new father nor the mother can be the same after welcoming a newborn especially if it is their first. 

This postpartum period comes with several challenges, and some women find solace in sexual novels. It might be a solution, but it is not proven.

4. For Feminism Boost

Right from time, men are known to be open about their sexual experiences compared to women. 

However, reading sexual stories seems to be the bridge that allows women to understand and discuss their sex lives. 

Reading makes it easier to relate to how they usually feel, during, before, or after sex. 

Reading sexual stories also boosts women’s confidence as the female characters in these stories are usually creative, intelligent, and independent with imperfections.

The lead characters in the stories are also portrayed as independent women with mental and emotional intelligence. Nevertheless, the characters often have some imperfections that can be relatable to the readers. 

5. To Increase Your Libido

To date, most ladies are still struggling with what arouses their sexual desire. 

Even though we are all unique in our way, there is a high probability of reading about someone who shares the same libido or sexual urge as you. With this kind of discovery, women may learn how to handle their bodies and know more about their sexual desires.

Women who read sexual stories often experiment and explore to know how their body reacts to certain events mentioned in the story. 

6. Learn and Relearn

One of the most realistic learning techniques is reading fictional stories. Even though most sex stories always have a happy ending, women often learn from the mistakes of their book characters, and it aids them in managing and sustaining their love life.  

Some behaviours and words may seem fair, but because of cultural differences or exposure, they might be insulting to the other person. 

Reading sexual stories helps women to explore love in multiple dimensions and diversity. i.e. what you think is good may be bad in other cultures and vice-versa. 


Sex stories inspire sexual fantasies in women, but most times, they are not read because of sexual desires. There are psychological reasons why women read sexual stories. Some read to escape from real-life issues and anxiety, to boost libido, while others might just be personal for reasons. No matter what, there is a psychological reason behind every move. 

About the author Patrick Banks

Patrick is a Berlin-based dating advisor, motivational speaker, a huge fitness and vegan diet enthusiast and the main editor at Wingman Magazine, specialised in men's health. His ultimate goal is to share with men around the world his passion for self-development and to help them to become the greatest version of themselves. He believes a healthy body and successful social interactions are two main keys to happiness.