Let’s be honest; we’ve all blown it at least a dozen times with a girl we were majorly into. It’s almost like a male rite of passage. And it sucks big time!
Over the years I’ve worked with hundreds of men, and one of the most common questions I hear is “How do I get a girl to like me back?”
Well, I’ll be honest, it’s not easy. Like most things, with seduction prevention is better than cure. But that said, there are a few things that you can do to re-ignite attraction with a girl who’s just lost it.
Step #1 – Figure out what went wrong
Here’s the thing, when it comes to figuring out what went wrong with a particular seduction or courtship, you need to be able to be brutally honest with yourself, because no one else is going to.
For example, your friends might tell you that a particular girl was being a bitch or that she just wasn’t right for you. And you might even agree with them. But deep down inside you might actually know that it was because you were too needy, or too clingy.
You see, once you’re able to detach yourself from your own ego and objectively point out where you went wrong with a girl, it’s much easier to go about setting things right.
So the next time a girl loses attraction with you, instead of blaming her or your luck, take a few minutes to replay the courtship in your head. Put yourself in her shoes and try to figure out where you might have gone wrong.
Step #2 – Let her miss you
So you figured out what you did wrong with a particular girl? What next?
Well, first of all, you need to understand that your chances of remedying the situation while staying in close contact with her are slim. In fact, staying in close contact with a girl you blew it can often lead to feelings of resentment and bitterness on your part.
So take a break. Cut contact, at least for a while, and let her miss you. The chances are that she’d have gotten so used to getting attention from you that suddenly having that yanked away is going to be a bit of a shock to her.
But this slight shock is going to be absolutely useless without the following steps…
Step #3 – Improve yourself
Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not implying that just because a particular girl didn’t like you, you’re lacking in a certain area of your life. But like a wise woman once said, in situations like this you can either cry like a bitch or smack a bitch.
So buckle down. Take this time off from pursuing the girl you like to pursue a few of your own goals.
Feel like you’re out of shape? Join a gym. Feel like you’re life is too dull? Learn to play the guitar. Feel like you’re lacking in social skills? Read our website.
But remember, your goal here isn’t to make a girl feel like she missed out. That’s how a low-value, needy guy would think. And that’s not the type of guy you’re going to be from here on out.
Instead, think of this as simply upgrading yourself to a newer and better version.
Step # 4 – Get out there
You see, the worst part of a girl not liking us is the feeling of rejection. That’s the hardest thing to deal with. And oftentimes this rejection can leave us feeling socially worthless which is not a good thing.
So put yourself out there and start meeting new people. It doesn’t even have to be women that you’re going to sleep with or date. Just focus on enriching your social circle with people who are interesting and add value to your life.
Step # 5 – Impress her from a distance
Now here’s where the Machiavellian social engineering comes into play.
Sometimes, a woman who has rejected your advances might still be curious enough about you to keep an eye on your life from afar. If this is the case, the chances are that she’ll already have noticed the improvements you’ve been making in your own life and social circle, and be at least a little curious.
However, a lot of the time a woman won’t care and won’t bother keeping any tabs on you. Which is when you have to get a bit creative.
For example, you could “bump into her” at a party or a club with your new, fun circle of friends and show her that you’re having a blast of a time. This will often lead a woman to wonder about how your “new and improved” life is and if she missed out on anything.
By this point, if a girl was even mildly interested in you before going cold, she will often casually reinitiate contact. It can be something as simple as a “Hey, haven’t heard from you in a while” text.
If and when this happens, understand that she’s making a conscious decision to try and give you another shot. And also remember that at this point it’s your game to screw up.
Step #6 (Optional) – Make her jealous
Sometimes when subtle approaches don’t work towards reigniting attraction, you have to get a bit more creative. And nothing is as powerful at re-sparking attraction like a touch of jealousy.
You see, we humans are funny creatures. We don’t want what we can easily have, and we crave what we feel like we can’t have. And sometimes we don’t know what we want until it feels out of reach.
But remember, it’s very rarely that you can get a girl to like you back just by using jealousy.
For example, if a girl told you that she’s not interested in you and you just show up the next day with another girl on your arm, it’s not going to have much of an effect on her.
For jealousy to work there needs to be a buildup and a subtle approach.
For example, if you’ve been through steps 1-5, and you notice that a girl who previously rejected you is trying to get back in touch with you, you could post a picture or two to Facebook with another attractive girl. Or you could bump into her at a social gathering with an attractive woman in your arms and make it unclear if you two or dating or not. If you’ve executed steps 1 through 5 correctly, and if she still has any attraction towards you, this will drive her mad and the chances are she’ll try to do whatever she can to get you interested in her again.