5 Controversial Truths about Female Sexuality

By Patrick Banks

Posted 6 years agoSEX

The more I talk with guys about female sexuality, the more I realize that the majority of men have absolutely no clue about this topic. You can’t even imagine how many guys I had to listen to, who really believe that women only use sex to end up in a relationship and that they don’t even enjoy it.

Statements like this make me really sad. The only thing a guy shows me with this opinion is that he still believes the same stupid doctrine that people believed 50 years ago. Back then men believed that women didn’t enjoy sex and that they didn’t have sexual fantasies, especially when those fantasies took place outside of their marriage.

The first person who revolutionized the way our society looks at female sexuality was Alfred Kinsey with his book Sexual Behavior of the Human Female. This book was revolutionary and even thought eras, such as the flower power movement contributed even more to a better understanding of female sexuality there are still a lot of people who haven’t understood anything.

It is quite shocking that women are still judged for living out their sexual desires, even if our society pretends to be so open about everything. Whenever you turn on the TV you are bombarded with naked bodies and explicit scenes, but at the same time the men who watch those shows, still don’t understand the thoughts of the naked women they look at.

We live in a day and age in which the following five truths about female sexuality shouldn’t even be controversial. Unfortunately, we still have a long way to go and there are still a lot of things that some men need to understand.

1. Women Enjoy Sex More than Men

Whenever you ask a group of people whether men or women enjoy sex more, you will always get the same answer. Even though the sexual revolution was a long time ago, the majority of people are still convinced that men enjoy sex a lot more than women.

Men tend to be described as sex-driven and insatiable, while it is believed that women don’t think about sex all the time. Well, this is far from being the truth. The truth is that women enjoy sex at least as much as men do and a lot of sources claim that women tend to enjoy it even more.

The believe that women enjoy sex more than men goes back to the old Greek mythology that claims that women enjoy sex nine times more than men. Recent studies also show that a lot of women have such a high sex drive that some men have problems handling it. The main reason why a lot of people believe the opposite is because men tend to verbalize their desire a lot more than women, because it is less socially acceptable for women to say that they have a high sex drive.

If we are really honest we don’t even need a scientific evidence to realize that women enjoy sex more than men. Women have a clitoris. I have never seen one in real life but I have heard that the only purpose of this little thing is to give them pleasure. It is somehow unfair that we men don’t have that.

Furthermore, the only time when we men do something that could be described as screaming is during the three seconds of an orgasm. When a woman is in bed with a good lover, she screams nonstop. That doesn’t sound as if women enjoy sex less than men.

2. Women Fantasize about Group Sex

When I did my research for this article I had a look at all the sources I could find that revealed the most common female sex fantasies. One fantasy that I read about over and over again was the desire to experience group sex.

No matter if it is a threesome, a foursome or an orgy with dozens of people. Chances are high that your girlfriend dreams about those things when she sleeps next to you at night. Isn’t that somehow contradictory to the belief that women only use sex as a way to end up in relationships?

I don’t really believe that a woman who has a foursome with three men wants to end up in a relationship with all three of them, until she finally decides which one of them she is going to marry. A guy who still thinks that every woman who sleeps with him wants to be his girlfriend should stop being so arrogant.

Some women don’t want to be your girlfriend. All they want is to live out their sexual fantasies without any attachments. Sometimes they want it with one man, sometimes with two men and sometimes they even enjoy it when another woman comes into play.


3. Women Want to Be Submissive


I don’t have anything against women who want to have a successful career and who see themselves in leadership positions. However, I think that this development led to more and more men, who began to believe that women who want to be dominant in their career, also want to be dominant in the bedroom.

This is far from the truth. Every healthy relationship needs a balance between the receptive female energy and the dominant male energy. Women might want to be the leaders in the company they work for but they don’t want to be the leaders when they are in the bedroom with you.

A recent study shows that a lot of women fantasize about being submissive. The misunderstanding that women want to lead and want to be dominant has the power to ruin relationships. If a woman has the fantasy to be submissive and you as her boyfriend don’t allow her to live out this fantasy, because you assume that you are offending her when you release your dominant male energy, she will search someone who allows her to live out her fantasy.

Don’t waste your time assuming what she wants and what she doesn’t want. Talk with your girlfriend about your and her sexual fantasies and tell her that you won’t judge her for anything. As soon as she has the security that you don’t judge her for wanting something different in the bedroom than in her professional life, your sex life will become a lot better.

4. Sex is the Fastest Way to Make a Woman Fall in Love

What does a man have to do when he wants to make a woman fall in love with him? If you believe popular Hollywood movies he has to degrade himself, buy her expensive presents and tell her that he will love her until the end of his days.

Even though you can make a woman happy by giving her a nice compliment, you need a little bit more to make her fall for you. There are a lot of things you can do and a lot of individual aspects that you have to consider when you want to make a woman fall in love with you, but the best thing you can do is not to buy her expensive presents.

The fastest way to make a woman fall in love with you is by giving her mind-blowing orgasms. This might sound a little bit controversial and I know that it goes against the ideal of love that Disney taught us, but is the truth.

Women fall in love when they have sex with you, at least when the sex is good. The reason for that is that women release a hormone called oxytocin that motivates them to trust their partner, to let their guard down and to fall in love with him, whereas men release dopamine, which only increases their level of pleasure. Despite the fact that sex provides women with all kinds of amazing feelings, the release of this hormone can be seen as a main reason why sex makes women fall in love.

5. Most Women Never Have an Orgasm

Even though it is true that giving women orgasms is the best way to make them fall in love with you, the sad truth is that most women will never experience an orgasm through vaginal intercourse. One study even claims that 75% of all women have this problem.

Isn’t it sad that so many women will never reach an orgasm during sex? Even though some studies say that there are women who have physical preconditions that don’t allow them to have orgasms through vaginal intercourse, there are still a lot of things you can do to make sure that your girlfriend doesn’t belong to the group of 75% of women who never reach an orgasm.

Make sure that you girlfriend trusts you and that she knows that you don’t expect her to reach an orgasm every time. Instead of motivating her to act like a pornstar in bed, you should rather encourage her to do anything she needs to relax and to enjoy the moment. This will increase your chances of making her come and of making her fall in love with you even more.

About the author Patrick Banks

Patrick is a Berlin-based dating advisor, motivational speaker, a huge fitness and vegan diet enthusiast and the main editor at Wingman Magazine, specialised in men's health. His ultimate goal is to share with men around the world his passion for self-development and to help them to become the greatest version of themselves. He believes a healthy body and successful social interactions are two main keys to happiness.