Many people are searching for happiness. Some try to achieve happiness through relationships, others through business and other tools. However, these people don’t always become happy. There are reasons for it, which I will tell you about soon! Let’s begin!
The reasons why many people don’t find happiness even after achieving their goals
1. When we achieve our goal, we rarely receive what we expect…
I once found out about a restaurant in Nice, France, making a wonderful apple pie. As I love apple pies, I decided to try a recommended place. I arrived at the restaurant. A waiter wrote down my order. It took them about half an hour to bring me a slice of pie. It was a very poor slice. I was hoping for a tastier one. It disappointed me; I received more negative than positive emotions. Believe me, a lot of people get disappointed by similar things…
Take as an example the following situation. Imagine a guy named John who lives in New York. A few friends stop by to see him. And he orders a pizza. The pizza was so delicious his friends ate it before John came to his senses, so he didn’t have a scrap of it left. “The damned pizza baker could have made it less tasty,” John thought!
Furthermore, a girl named Daria dreamed of a super beautiful guy, but when she found one, she decided to give up on him because he was too beautiful and her friends liked him, so she fought with one of them…
All these people dreamed of happiness but felt different emotions than they expected. So the question is: Is it worth creating visions of how you will feel when you achieve your goal? After all, many people only pursue their goals because they want to experience the exact moment of happiness they imagined!
2. The pursuit of happiness takes too long.
Imagine a second-grade student who dreams of a chocolate bar. Although his parents gave him money, he can’t buy his beloved chocolate bar because the lesson is still happening. After hearing a bell that symbolizes the end of a class, he turns towards a store. He speeds up his steps. And to his disappointment, there is a queue in the store… so he waits… and finally buys a magic chocolate bar. He wants a chocolate bar so badly that he swallows it almost with a wrapper. Then, surprised, he asks himself, “That’s all? I didn’t even have time to console myself with it!” So it took 40 minutes to achieve his goal, and a moment of happiness took half a minute. But when this child grows up, he will come up with a goal that he will achieve in ten years, and finally, when he achieves it, he will be happy only for a few hours (a month at the most). And then he will create another goal. This is the case when you seek happiness through things, treats, and other material goals.
3. People tend to prepare for moments of happiness, but they don’t know how to be happy about the present day…
Imagine a couple dreaming of getting married. The couple is getting ready for this special super-duper day when the photographer finally captures them. They choose a car, which will later be left behind because they will use it only for a few hours. They measure the clothes they will wear that day, which they will not need later. They decide what music will play at the wedding, which they will never play again in the future. And here comes this special day. And the following day, everything returns as it was.
Only the photos in the album will remain. While preparing for the wedding, they forgot that the most important thing is not the wedding, but the journey together. Though they seem to enjoy wedding preparations, but not like on their wedding day. I think it’s wrong. More clever when the preparation for the wedding brings more happiness than the wedding. And it’s even better to do a wedding every day; let your wedding last a lifetime. Better to have thousands of inexpensive weddings in 30 years with the same chosen one than one luxurious one!
In other words, I suggest
- Strive for your goal with a smile on your face.
- Let this smile be wider than one on your wedding day or birthday.
4. No matter what goal you achieve, you will get a solid dose of new challenges and commitments with it.
Some strange people think they will eventually become happy after building a successful business because they get rid of the problems. It doesn’t work this way. Because if you succeed, you will have more worries than before. You will need to serve more customers. It’s not easy; ask Amazon employees or Jeff Bezos. The irony is that when you have more worries, there is no time for moments of happiness. Sure, you can hand over the company’s reins to someone else, but that won’t diminish your responsibility. They can wrap you around their finger, steal money, and you will be summoned to court because that’s you who owns a business. Of course, there are people who have solved it, but they have also faced the problem. You see, when money is falling from the sky, you start to celebrate and eat more; when you eat more, your belly starts to grow. When you have a big belly, more problems arise. You have to choose one of the two: a) buy bigger clothes, b) start exercising.
Once upon a time, a highly successful person decided to lose weight. While running, he strained his leg. When your leg hurts, it’s hard to feel happy. No matter how much money you have, you feel pain, and that’s it.
There are other problems to consider.
For example, when friends find out that you have become a millionaire, they will ask you to lend them money. Because money and all other achievements always bring more worry than we expect. This principle works everywhere and anytime, even if you run away from civilization. Don’t you believe me? Try it yourself. Pack your bags and fly to the island of dreams. First, you will have to pick bananas, because what will you eat? Picking bananas for three years in a row is not a pleasant job, and climbing trees is risky. What if you fall? Oi! Watch the movie starring Tom Hanks where he suffered alone on an island…
It’s unnecessary to think that good deeds don’t cause you to worry; on the contrary, great deeds yield much more responsibility than businesses. Don’t you believe it? Imagine you’re a Superman. When you’re a Superman, you constantly have to rescue someone. And if you don’t rescue them, people will say you’re lazy. They will point fingers at you.
Have you ever seen a happy Superman? Did you notice that in the commercials, he’s always worried? Have you ever wondered why, after all, he has superpowers, right?
So we all have our own worries. Therefore, it’s naive to believe that you suddenly find happiness when solving a problem or achieving a certain goal. I know many will agree with me. They’ll say I’m right, but after a few minutes, they’ll go back to their computers to continue their work because they dream about the happiness they will have someday in the future. When they get a higher position, they will pop a bottle of champagne and work harder than before for the rest of their lives, so there will be no time for themselves. How to avoid it? Let your happiness not depend on what you achieve. Demand yourself to enjoy happiness today. You may think that you’re not worthy of happiness, but no one has forbidden emotions of happiness.
5. People seek happiness through external, not inner, changes.
We all have goals. However, some are looking for inner changes and others for external ones. External changes are related to status, salary, clothes, appearance, items, and place of residence. And inner changes are associated with changes in character, and human characteristics. Unfortunately, many people focus on external goals. However, external goals don’t bring long-term happiness. Dale Carnegie would agree with me. He would state, “Happiness doesn’t depend on any external conditions, it is governed by our mental attitude.” Therefore, those who want happiness should seek inner, not external, change. In this case, it’s necessary to change the perception of happiness and train how to arouse positive emotions. Only these things help a person discover and control happiness.
6. People pursue a goal to be happy, but goals should be pursued for other reasons.
We, humans, are used to doing things around. As we strive for happiness, we choose a goal, so when we achieve it, we could say to ourselves, “Now you can enjoy life.” But it should be the other way. We should pursue goals not to be happy someday but because we’re already happy. After all, these are different things, aren’t they?
I have met people who pursue a goal because they are interested in trying it themselves. They like to take risks and are not afraid to get burned because they are happy anyway. Such people pursue different goals because they are curious to see what they can achieve. Such people are the happiest. Their mood doesn’t depend on whether they have achieved external and material goals or not.
I propose to follow the example of such people!