How To Ask Her Out So She Says ‘Yes’ – A 7-Step Guide

By Shalaka Ohatker

Posted 2 years agoDATING

Want to know how to ask her out? We have got you covered! 

So, there is this special someone you really want to take out on a nice date. But, you don’t know how to go about it. Well, isn’t this your lucky day? Because you have landed at the doors of the best wingman ever – yours truly! Our advice is based on the most credible source of information about women – women themselves!

Let’s be honest though – no woman is saying ‘yes’ to a date with a random dude she does not know. In case you are strangers to each other, an easy fix for this situation is asking your mutual friends to introduce you. You could meet at a party. Or an alternative would be to get introduced through an online drinking game session hosted by a friend. Online games are convenient and the new way to have fun in this digital age.

If you are already acquainted with each other and wondering what to do next, we have your back – we will teach you how to ask her out through our special guide. So, toss your worries to the wind for you are in experienced hands. 

Keep on reading to learn how to ask her out and get a ‘yes.’

How To Ask Her Out – A Step-By-Step Guide

First things first – we are not going to give you flashy proposal ideas and false hopes. This is going to be a realistic take on how women would like to be asked out and not how men think it should be done. So, this is barely about you and all about her.

That being said, in this guide on how to ask her out, we have come up with seven things you need to note. Let’s jump right into them.

1. Do Your Homework

Follow her on all her social media handles. Stalk her, if need be, but not literally. (Yes, lurking outside her house is a terrible idea). What we mean is, be perceptive about every detail she has shared publicly – her likes and dislikes, her idea of fun, and what her personality is like in general. 

This will help you plan a date focused on her interests that she will likely look forward to. You cannot ask her out to a dance party if she is an introvert who enjoys quiet evenings.

“But I am an enigma on the dance floor and I must impress her!” 

If this is what you are thinking, let us remind you that this guide is about how to ask her out, not how to ace a job interview. Sure, you need to impress her, but she is not your recruiter. She needs to have a good time in order to decide if she likes spending time with you. If she likes you enough, you will earn a second date and she may let you do your thing then. 

2. Build Some Confidence

Confidence is attractive. If you panic through the entire conversation, she might just say ‘yes’ out of pity. But we do not want that – pity does not equal interest. Also, confidence does not equal arrogance. Don’t just walk up to her out of the blue and spring the question. That’s creepy.

Chalk out a plan in advance on how to approach her, how to start the conversation, and eventually, how to ask her out. Do not over-explain or be pushy. Casually ease into a conversation and suggest an outing. She will be saying ‘yes’ before she gets to overanalyze your question. You could then exchange numbers to discuss the schedule and plan.

Now, just because you have her number does not mean you call and text her a million times a day. Constant poking will make you look needy, and that is not a sign of confidence. Some women do not give out their numbers under any circumstances. There is absolutely nothing you can do about that. A no is a no – don’t be ugly about it. Move on, and the right one will come along.

3. Be Charming

You have probably heard a lot about how a chiseled body and good looks can get you all the women. Well, you’ve heard wrong – partly anyway. Women’s idea of “attractive” is flexible and depends more on a man’s personality than his physical appearance. All you need to do is clean up nicely and turn the charm on! There is a reason Prince Charming was popular with the ladies, and no one has heard of a Prince Abs or Prince Guns.

It would help to look up body language videos beforehand. Be witty with your words and manners, and you will have charmed her to the moon. 

And how can you be witty and charming? Make references to her favorite movies, songs, or books. React appropriately, smile, and make direct eye contact when talking to her. This will let her know that you see beyond her looks and are interested in listening to what she has to say.

4. Compliment Her

Women love compliments. Actually, who does not? Compliments are a great way to charm her, and they can serve as wonderful conversation starters. But, it is not the right time to compliment her physical features yet – depending on how you say it, you may sound shady. Rather, pick something she has put effort into, like something she might have mentioned on her social media recently.

You could just casually walk up to her and compliment her clothes or accessories and go from there. Ask for her help in buying a gift for someone. We know, going shopping to buy a gift for a relative is not a date. But in case you were not very friendly with each other yet, this would help break the awkwardness a bit. The best thing? This whole thing can happen online so that nothing is awkward about it! She could send you links to online stores, which will open a pathway to texting her. 

Use this conversation to let her see your charming, attentive, insightful side. And then, at the end of it, thank her and offer to treat her to lunch or coffee in return for her favor. That is a date! 

If you do decide to take a risk and compliment her on her looks, you need to get creative with how you go about it. Studies have found that women prefer men who use metaphorical language when complimenting their looks. Well, looks like Shakespeare had the right idea when he compared his lover to a summer’s day! 

5. Be Real

You’ve charmed her, you’ve asked her out, and now you’re finally meeting her. She may have agreed to the first date. But if she turns out to be everything you had imagined her to be and more, you do not want to end it at that. If you want to go on more dates, you need to make sure she enjoys being with you.

You have made a good initial impression. The next part of the ‘How To Ask Her Out’ guide is to make a real impression. This date is your opportunity to let her know that you are not hanging out with her just as an acquaintance or friend. Your actions must convey your romantic interest in her.

Dress neatly and compliment her outfit first thing after you greet her because regardless of whether she likes you yet, she will have made an effort to look nice. And women like their efforts to be noticed and appreciated. 

Additionally, we would recommend subtle flirting – no sexual innuendos. Also, do not make up tall tales that you cannot follow up on later. Dishonesty spells trouble.

6. Be Attentive

Being attentive during a casual conversation is different from being attentive on a date. Conversations on dates tend to go deeper, and you are not just responding to her words but also her actions. Just make sure that you keep your body language open and expansive, as women have been found to be more responsive to it. If she likes you, her body will express it first. If she is leaning towards you, eyes fluttering, constantly preening herself, making eye contact, laughing a lot – these are good signs!

However, look out for bad signs as well. She might change the topic if she finds a conversation uncomfortable. She may also seem uncomfortable with the physical setting itself. Maybe the venue is too tacky or too posh, or the crowd is not respectful, or the food is unappetizing. If you pick up on these signs, suggest going somewhere else.

Hey, we get it. You spent a lot of time planning this date, making reservations, and dressing appropriately, and it’s all going down the drain. Big deal! The point is not to execute a perfect plan but to ensure she is enjoying herself. Plans are safe and good. But spontaneity is fun and exciting. You can also directly ask her if she’d like to do something else. This might not be your plan, but she will realize that you care about her comfort, which is always a win-win for you. And this will fetch you some bonus points! She will also note that you do not possess a fragile male ego.

So, be attentive to her and the situation, act wisely, and be a sport. Focus on having fun! 

7. Don’t Be A Stranger

If you follow every step in our expert ‘How To Ask Her Out’ guide correctly, we are positive that you will have a great first date and she will want to see you again. You both probably said so to each other when you parted ways after the date. Congratulations on that!

You’ve done great so far. Do not let your overactive imagination come in the way and start calculating who has to text first. Just text her!

It is not a good idea to bombard her with “good morning” or “good evening” texts either. Just casually follow up on a conversation from the date. Text her at a time in the day you expect her to be relatively free. If she happens to be busy, be patient and wait for a reply. 

Summing Up The ‘How To Ask Her Out’ Guide

So you see, it is really all about her. Make her happy, and she will make it all about you. And if she likes you, it won’t be long before you make things official!

If anything about paying attention to a woman’s needs seems irksome to you, we are afraid you need to work on yourself first. Wanting to be nice to someone you like should be a natural human tendency and not something you have to force yourself to do.

We hope you have learned all the basics of how to ask her out to make sure you score a date. Just follow this guide, and you’ve got this! But if she still turns you down, don’t lose heart. There are plenty of more compatible women out there for you. Just keep an open heart and mind and be respectful when you ask any of them out. 

About the author Shalaka Ohatker

Shalaka Ohatker is an enthusiastic writer who writes about parenting, lifestyle, relationships, mindfulness, and the challenges of adulthood. She is a regular contributor at Shalaka thrives to break down the complexities of daily life and to bring out the solutions in the simplest of forms through her blogs. You can find her on