How to Know if a Woman You Like is Married

We all have been there. There are many reasons you may be trying to figure out if a woman is married. She could be someone you are interested in, but you don’t want to approach her until you know if she is married. It could be that you are involved in an emotional or physical relationship with her, and suspect that she may be hiding the fact that she is married.

Whatever the circumstances, there are ways to find out if someone is married. Some people are masterful liars, but almost everyone has a tell. A tell is a specific action or behavior that someone does when they are lying. If you know this person well enough to study their body language, you should be able to determine if they are lying about being married. 

The most straightforward course is to ask the person if they are married. If you doubt the truthfulness of the reply, then there are steps to take to discover their marital status.   First, look for signs that indicate marriage:

  • She never responds to phone calls or texts right away. 
  • She only contacts you through one means of social media.
  • There is a tan line on her left ring finger.
  • She only wants to see you at certain times and places determined by her.
  • She does not want to go out together in public.

If you notice some of the above signs but are still uncertain, then you can do some research.  Is someone married, and how do you find out? 

Start with a Google search of her name. If her name is common, add in the city where she lives to narrow results. 

Google should also help you find most of her social media accounts. Check the accounts, going back as far as possible.  Any sign of a significant other? If all of her accounts are private, do you have any mutual friends? If you do, they may be able to tell you. If they don’t know but are friends with her on social media, ask them to do a check for you.

Marriage and divorce records are public information. If you know what county she lives in, then visit the county records website. Most counties now have an online searchable database.

If you don’t find records of a marriage, that is still not a guarantee she isn’t married. She could have gotten married in another county or state.

You may want to consider running a background check from a reputable background check site like Intelius, FindPeople, or CheckPeople. Some background check sites give a free trial period, so you can run your check and cancel your membership during the trial period. 

Reasons Why People Lie About Their Marital Status

Many people hide the fact that they are married. They are usually doing this because they are cheating on their spouse. It could be that she is separated from her spouse, but not yet divorced. She may be hiding her relationship to avoid giving her spouse any ammunition to use against her in the divorce. 

If someone is married and they are hiding it from you, there is no trust in the relationship. This woman is probably not ready to leave the marriage and you are a fling or adventure. If she is married, do you want to continue the relationship?

In answering that question, there are a few things you need to consider. She started your relationship based on a lie. She will probably lie about why she lied. For example, she may claim that they are getting a divorce. In reality, she may have no intention of leaving her husband.  It could be that she is getting a divorce.

However, she didn’t trust you to be discrete about your relationship. Whatever the reason, it is rocky ground on which to start a new relationship.  Ask yourself what you want out of the relationship, and can this person fulfill that need? 

Patrick Banks
Patrick Banks

Patrick is a Berlin-based dating advisor, motivational speaker, a huge fitness and vegan diet enthusiast and the main editor at Wingman Magazine, specialised in men's health. His ultimate goal is to share with men around the world his passion for self-development and to help them to become the greatest version of themselves. He believes a healthy body and successful social interactions are two main keys to happiness.

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