Approaching girls is actually one of my favorite topics to write about.
I know I know… I’m sappy.
But seriously, if you look online, or in anything even remotely dating related, how to approach a girl is overwhelmingly the thing men nowadays struggle with the most.
And coincidentally, it’s actually the easiest sticking point to overcome.
Now before you start brandishing the pitchfork, hear me out.
It’s About Love
It all starts there.
I suppose this is why my philosophy differs from the mainstream dating advice out there.
What these guys have been peddling for years is the equivalent of banging your head against the wall hoping the wall will crack before your head does.
Approach tons of women every single day over and over and over again and at some point you’ll get one date – but you’ll never fully get over your fear of rejection. It’s just something you have to live with.
But what if that wasn’t true at all…
What if I could show you how to completely overcome that fear of rejection, and teach you exactly how to approach a girl you don’t know, all in a matter of seconds?
And you won’t ever be crippled by that bullshit fear again…
How? Simple: Love.
You see there are two forces in life; love and fear. That’s it.
Anxiety, hatred, anger, resentment, jealousy, insecurity, scarcity etc all come from fear.
Excitement, enthusiasm, joy, peace, serenity, positivity etc all come from love.
And you can choose to live in fear, or you can choose to live in love.
In order to live in love, you need to know where to place your focus.
It begins at the beginning; do you wake up and dread the day?
Do you drag yourself out of bed for another crappy day on earth?
If so, you’re doing it wrong.
Wake up and take a deep breath.
As you exhale, fill yourself with gratitude.
Be thankful for another amazing day on earth.
As you brush your teeth, go through how good it is to be alive, how amazing your friends are, how every time you leave the house, you have the opportunity to meet the woman that will make you forget all other women.
Re read that above part.
You see, it doesn’t matter how many times you’ve been embarrassed, and humiliated and rejected and hurt and cast out and abandoned… Every single time you leave the house, you have the opportunity to meet a woman so amazing she will completely blow you away and make you forget that other women even exist.
And that’s a damn comforting thought – who wouldn’t want to get the hell out every day?
Place your focus on what matters – here, now, today!
Oh and that reminds me…
Stop Expecting, Start Expressing
You really want to know how to approach a girl you don’t know, without feeling any fear? Any anxiety? Any nervousness?
Let’s get to the root of the problem.
You know how you’re usually super talkative and funny with your friends, but when you see an amazingly stunning woman you just freeze up?
Yeah, that’s because you’re feeling anxious.
And you get anxious because you want something from her.
I don’t mean her phone number – I mean at a deeper level. You want her to validate you.
By her not rejecting you, you want the confirmation that you are in fact a cool guy… That you are worthy of a beautiful woman…
In other words; you want her to dictate your self-worth to you.
This is where the paradox kicks in!
A woman can never be attracted to a man who doesn’t know his own self-worth, and you go up to her expecting her to give you your self-worth… If that’s not the definition of insanity I don’t know what is!
So what’s the solution?
The simplest solution, bar none, to help you overcome your fear and approach a girl you don’t know, at any time, anywhere, is to stop expecting anything from her, and to instead express your truth.
You saw her, and she looks incredibly beautiful. From the moment she walked into the room, you can’t take your eyes off her. So go tell her that!
But, do it with no expectation of anything in return. Your only goal is to make her feel special, unique and appreciated – that’s it.
If you feel anxious, it’s because you haven’t truly let go of desire for reward – you want her to stand there and go “thank you!” Which is actually “good boy” from ‘mommy’ (but I don’t have time to discuss the deeper stuff here).
This is where your habits kick in.
If you live in love constantly, you will naturally feel good, and when you feel good there is no neediness.
When you feel good, focusing on here and now becomes super easy. Seeing a beautiful woman and celebrating her becomes exciting!
And if you want nothing in return for your kindness, then you will notice something strange happening to you – you will begin to be authentic, to express how you feel much more, and will connect with people much faster.
I don’t like the term attractive… I prefer magnetic. It connotes effortlessness… A lightness in your step.
So become magnetic. Let go of what you want and go express your love, go celebrate women – and your friends, your family, and strangers. Watch how suddenly your life becomes filled with amazing people who love you simply for being you.
Then, you will truly know that you have become magnetic, and the best part is that you barely did anything at all!“Be the flame, not the moth” – Casanova