Holding hands and stealing kisses. Doing it like bunnies. Finding excuses to be together and get intimate almost every instant.
Such is the passion experienced by partners in the beginning of almost every relationship. But have you noticed that oftentimes, when you’re in a long-term relationship, it is natural to feel the lack of the initial spark on and off.
We’ve all been there, when we started feeling that the new relationship vibe or the “honeymoon period” fading slowly. This can be due to several factors, which may include but are not limited to the lack of time, the absence of interest, feeling immense pressure and stressed out at work or not knowing how to handle problems and so on and so forth.
This is how the shine in a relationship starts dulling and the initial excitement or the heydays of the relationship seem like a distant dream. This happens to the best of us, and to the best of couples.
The good news is that there are ways to recover and to cope and let me tell you, these are not too hard! Here are some easy takeaways that you can use to bring back the same level of excitement and energy in your relationship.
Hug and Kiss Often
Believe it or not, but hugging and kissing your partner has more benefits than having sex.
Hug them when you wake up from sleep. Kiss them when they do something amazing for you. Hug and kiss to let them know how much you’re going to miss them while going to work. Repeat the act when you come back to tell them that you’ve been waiting for this moment all the while. Kiss and hug them to tell how much you love them and how special they are for you.
Do this without fail every day and this will keep the old flame burning. And that smile you see on their face after this will be priceless!!
Have a Good Laugh
Couples who have fun together stay together. A good, hearty laugh starts your day on a positive note and helps you inch towards your goal easily.
Begin by making a list of things that made you laugh in the past such as watching old videos and photos together, going to a photo booth and making hilarious faces, taking a skinny dip in the pool, playing dress up, taking fun challenges on the internet etc. Real life, exciting activities which bring you actively together and involve into some action will work wonders if shared together!
Not only will laughter keep the stress ay bay, but will also help you create some of the best memories of your life and therefore, ignite flames of passion once more.
Love the Cheap Thrills
Romantic treats are not always about candle-lit dinners and live music.
Remember the paintball scene from 10 Things I Hate About You? You can do something bizarre and offbeat of that sort. For instance, you can take the initiative and find something that’s inexpensive yet intimate for both of you. It can be hitchhiking a ride to the outskirts of the city and enjoying a picnic under the stars. Similarly, you can also make merry by enjoying a boat ride or simply going to the nearest amusement park and holding hands or and get kissing as you get on a rollercoaster ride.
At the end of the day, it’s all about bringing back that same level of thrill in the relationship and recreating the magic that you once had. This takes us to the next point.
One of the mainstays of new relationship is getting to know each other better. You constantly discover new and intriguing quirks and this keeps you both going. As the relationship progresses, you feel that you know almost everything about your partner down to the most basic level. Soon enough, you’ll find that there remains nothing new to discover. Quite a dampener isn’t it?
However, this may not be true. What you can do is push yourselves and make it a point to discover more about each other. Strive to be open and curious to know your partner up, close and personal. This particular shift in your mindset can be the bridge that connects you both and helps you come closer than ever.
You can do this by taking a part in challenging activities such as dance classes, join gaming enthusiasts, train together (perhaps for a marathon) etc. These activities will help you work as a team and make you see your partner’s totally unlike personality. Who knows, you may fall in love with them once more, this time in a different way!
Go on a Break
If Ross and Rachel can do it, so can you!
I’m talking about taking a break from the routine and from each other, albeit temporarily. This doesn’t necessarily mean that you start seeing other people, but learn to know yourself better and appreciate your partner in their absence. When you step aside, you get the opportunity to use distance to make the heart grow fonder.
The more you end up missing your partner and vice versa, the more you’ll see your relationship thrive as soon as break time is over.
Moreover, if you’ve been having arguments way too frequently, you can use the ‘off time’ to collect yourself, bring in some calm and refuel your love for your partner. You just have to ensure that the pangs of separation doesn’t end up being pangs of distress.
For this purpose, you can take a solo trip or go on a retreat away from your partner. It may look like you’re giving up on them, but in the end, this is how a break will not break up the relationship, but strengthen it like never before.
Break the Monotony
Relationships are often hit below the belt due to an overdose of monotony.
This is when you need to chalk out a plan that helps you include a bit of excitement in your everyday routine. For instance, if your routine involves taking care of the kids or attending lectures, plan out a time that’s exclusively meant for you and your partner to mingle. Some of the ideas that can help you break the shackles of ennui in your relationship can include:
Wake up every morning and go on a 10-minute sprint to talk about how you’re going to plan your day.
Wait for the kids to leave and hit the shower or a warm, refreshing bath together.
If singing is your thing, do an instant jamming session with your partner every alternate day. Singing romantic tracks or a song that reminds you of the early days of your courtship will work like magic.
Bond over your shared love for movies, games or series just before hitting the sack.
Aromatherapy can often enhance the mood for both of you. Try opting for a sensual massage or lighting up scented candles in the bedroom to turn up the romance.
Do something adventurous once in a while. This can be driving all the way to a beach and skinny dip in the middle of a moonlight.
Overall, make it a point to invest quality time for each other and keep doing something out of the blue as much as you can. This takes us to the next point.
Spring Up Some Surprises
We all love being surprised and it costs literally nothing to come up with ideas that catch them off guard. Leaving flowers on their dashboard, notes on the refrigerator, packing special lunches for them, dancing to the song of your first dance are some of the warm, soothing gesture that will help you bond better with each other and feel the love!
For instance, if your partner is a die-hard fan of Johnny Depp, rent DVDs of his top movies and run a movie marathon in the comforts of your living room. Alternatively, you could just “Netflix and Chill.”
Similarly, you can go for an impromptu lunch date by dropping at your partner’s place of work. Another alternative is to pick them up from their work and stop by at a diner that used to be frequented by you both and rekindle those fond memories.
If you are more of an outdoors-y person, book a suite in a hotel and take off for a staycation and rediscover various places of interest and take part in various activities in the city. You can also go for camping on weekend, away from the hustle and bustle for some alone time with your significant other.
Is your partner a bit stubborn when it comes to getting out of her comfort zone? Read about how to encourage her to try new things.
You can also surprise them by signing up for something that you both admire and enjoy. It can be fishing, learning pottery, going for art classes, exchanging notes on your latest reads etc.
Indulge in Countdowns
Countdowns do have the desired effect on your and your partner. To begin with, you can dedicate a special place in your home such as the refrigerator or the top of the fireplace, where you can display placards or notes that point at countdown to special days. It will give you something to look forward to everyday.
You can start countdown to your anniversary, monthersary, first date anniversary, days to go for your annual trip, time left for special days such as Valentine’s day and so on and so forth.
P.S. It will also save you from forgetting the important occasions and rekindle the love between you and your partner.
Calling It A Day
All said and done, these are some of the ways that can help you prevent a permanent downward spiral for you and your partner. Apart from these, you can devote time in doing more thoughtful activities for/with your partner. In essence, it is all about being thoughtful and considerate and this way, the spark between you both will never fade. What do you think of these ideas? Do you have some more that can be added to the list? Let us know!