How To Flirt With A Guy Over Text: 15 Tips And Tricks To Make Him Want You

By Patrick Banks

Posted 1 year agoDATING

You’ve done the hardest part– you’ve exchanged numbers with the guy you really, really like. Or you two started following each other on social media. Either way, you’ve overcome the first obstacle. Now all you have to do is initiate contact. Easier said than done, I know. 

You want to talk to him so badly, but you simply don’t know what to say. The truth is that you haver no idea how to flirt with a guy over text. 

Worry not because we’ve all been there. Besides, I’m here to save you from your misery. In fact, if you read on carefully, you’ll master the art of flirting via text in no time! Buckle up!

How To Flirt With A Guy Over Text: 15 Foolproof Ways

Here you have a step-by-step guide on texting a guy you’re into. All you have to do is follow this advice, and you’re good to go: 

  1. Start it off with a joke

Remember this: the first text you send to a guy is probably the most important one! I mean, the first impression is everything when you meet someone in person, and the same thing goes for texting

That is why you need a great conversation starter to break the ice. I know what you must think right now. I’ll just write: “Hey, what’s up?” or “What you’re doing?”

Don’t get me wrong– there is absolutely nothing wrong with this kind of text. It’s polite, and it will definitely start a conversation. However, it won’t make you stand out. If you send this type of text, you’ll be just one girl in a row (yes, girls text guys first more frequently than you might think). And you don’t want that. What you want is for him to remember you from the beginning. 

That is exactly why you should start off with a joke. A flirty joke that is. Don’t worry, it can be cheesy as: “Excuse me? Do you work at Little Caesars? Cuz Ur Hot And I’m Ready.” Don’t worry– he won’t find it stupid. It’s obvious that you’re kidding. But one thing is for: it will help you stand out from all the other girls in his inbox. 

  1. Use the information you know about him

After you’ve got your reply, it’s time for some heavy guns. You’re a woman, and let’s face it, I know you’ve done some digging about this guy. I can bet you know where his aunts live, let alone something else. Well, it’s about time you use all of the information you gathered about him to your advantage.


Will this include a bit of lying? Yes, but it won’t bring any harm. 

Let’s imagine that you have information that this guy is a huge Star Wars fan. You’re not thrilled by it but for this act, you’ll pretend to be. Naturally, as the communication goes forward, he’ll ask you what you’re doing at some point. This is your time to shine! You’ll tell him: “Nothing much, I’m just rewatching some Star Wars. Kind of nerdy of me, but I guess I’m the biggest fan ever.” Voila, now he thinks that you two must be soulmates. The Universe has sent him someone just like him. What a coincidence. 

Just be careful and do some investigating beforehand. You two will start talking about Star Wars (or whatever else he likes), so you can’t be clueless about it– not if it’s your biggest passion. 

  1. Find out more about him

I know you have the urge to make this guy fall in love with you. You want to show him how awesome you are and talk about your numerous qualities. Well, that’s your number one mistake. Don’t get me wrong– I’m not saying you shouldn’t introduce yourself. 

However, every relationship expert will tell you the same: people prefer being listened to listening. So, if you want to make him feel comfortable around you, give him a chance to talk about himself. Besides, this way, he won’t perceive you as self-centered. 

You have already initated the contact so now let him lead a little bit and express his masculine energy. The main difference between female and male energy is that female is the one which takes more and male is the more active, the one which gives. Let him now to take over and show some of his power, he will love that! In practice when it comes to texting it could be encouraging him to talk about himself.

Just text him:

“What do you do in your spare time?” “Where do you go out?” “What was your favorite vacation?”

Basically, whatever comes to your mind. Of course, this is still not the time to be too nosy. 

  1. Make him wonder

Whatever you do, never confess your feelings to him. At least now, while you’re still texting. The worst thing you can tell him now is that you’ve been in love with him for a while and that you’re super excited to have the opportunity to finally text him.

Yes, this will skyrocket his ego. But it will also make you less interesting. It might even chase him away if he starts seeing you as a stalker. Whatever you do, don’t be desperate! 

You have to play it cool. Pretend that he is just one of the numerous guys you’re texting right now. Don’t let him know he’s the center of your Universe (or your phone).

Besides, don’t forget that men are hunters. If you want him to really fall for you, you have to make him wonder. What are your intentions? Are you hitting on him? Or are you just being friendly? Are you going out with someone else right now? What is your love status? 

If you leave all of these questions unanswered, you’ll be stuck in his mind. And that’s exactly where I want you. 

Text him something like this: 

  • “I’m so tired. I got home so late last night.” 

(Don’t explain yourself. Where have you been? Who did you spend time with? Let him guess)

  • “Talk to you later, I have to go and get ready for tonight.” 

(Where are you going? Who knows?)

  • “LOL, you’re so funny. No guy has ever made me laugh this much. You remind me of my best friend so much.”

(What’s going on? Are you friendzoning him?)

  1. But don’t forget to tease him

However, the trick is to tease him at the same time. You don’t want him to turn the tables and send you right into the friendzone, do you? 

If you want to really knock him off his feet, use sexy emojis, such as 🍒 , 🍌, 🍑, 🍆. Don’t worry, he’ll get the hint– everyone knows what these mean.

But if this is too much for you, tease him in a different way. For example, send him a pic of yourself in a smoking hot outfit and ask him:

“How does this dress look on me?” or “Do you think I might have a shot with my crush if I wear this?”

When he sends you a selfie, tell him: “Hey, you remind me of someone– of my next boyfriend. LOL, just kidding.” 

Or just do it the old-fashioned way. Send him something like: “I dreamt of you last night. But I’m too embarrassed to tell you what we’ve been doing 🙈”

  1. Make him laugh

If you can make a woman laugh, you can make her do anything. Well, this applies to men, as well. I know that you pulled some of your best puns when you sent your guy the first text, but that doesn’t mean that your days as a professional comedian are over. 

However, there are some things you have to pay attention to when it comes to joking over text. First of all, we don’t all find the same things funny. Therefore, you must figure out his sense of humor. 

Also, don’t use too vulgar or offensive jokes– unless you’ve already seen it’s okay with him. Even when you’re joking, don’t forget to be a lady.

Most importantly: don’t make fun of him. It’s always better to make the joke about you (without actually insulting yourself, either) than destroying his self-esteem and inflating his ego. 

Let’s say he gives you a compliment. Send him this: You’ve electrocuted me with your love, writing from the death bed right now.”  or “OMG, I’ve been waiting for this compliment for so long. You’re too kind, my sir.” 

Are you joking? Are you being serious? Who knows? 

Here’re some other great examples of ways to make him laugh: 

“Please can you stop wandering through my mind, you Speedy Gonzales.”

“Thank god I’m wearing gloves because you’re too hot to handle.”

If you’re unsure about actual jokes, just send him a funny meme. 

And yes, I almost forgot– emojis are your best friends! 

  1. Compliment him

You know how you enjoy getting compliments from men? Well, they’re no different when it comes to this. If you’re still wondering how to flirt with a guy over text, complimenting him is the way to go. 

“You always know what to say at the right time.”

“You’re the funniest guy I’ve ever met. You make me laugh out loud.” 

“If anyone can do it, you can. I believe in you.”

“How come you’re single with THAT body?”

“All those guys have nothing on you.” 

What matters is to be specific as possible. Compliment on something that matters to him. For example, if you know that he’s insecure about his looks, tell him how handsome he is. On the other hand, if he doesn’t consider himself so smart, compliment his intelligence. 

  1. Suggest a texting game

You’ve run out of topics? You’re scared that your conversation is coming to an end? You’re scared that you’re boring your guy? It’s time for some texting games. Just tell him that you’re bored and suggest a flirty texting game. 

  • Emoji game

You’re allowed to use only emojis and nothing else in your text messages. The other person is trying to guess what you want to say. 

  • Question game

Ask him one question about him. When he answers, it’s his turn to ask whatever he wants to know about you. The great thing about this game is that it lets you get to know each other better in a spontaneous way. 

  • Kiss, marry, kill

If you have a lot of mutual friends, choose three people from the group. Tell him three names, and he has to choose: which one would he kiss, which one would he marry and which one would he kill? After that, it’s your turn. You know what’s amazing about this game? The fact that you can discover how he feels about some girls you might worry about. If you don’t have mutual friends, just pick celebrities. 

  1. Don’t get too sexual

You want this guy to fall in love with you. In that case, you must avoid becoming his booty call. I know that you would do everything to wake up in his arms, but that will have to wait. 

Are you allowed to use innuendos? Absolutely yes! I thought we agreed that teasing him was the way to go. 

“That’s very big of you.” (when he does you a favor or makes an accomplishment)

“Nothing much just thought about eating out.” (when he asks you what you’re doing)

“The rain was awful. I got so wet.” (make sure it was actually raining) 

“I am sorry if I’m giving you a hard time.” (when you’re asking him for help)

If he catches the bait, just change the topic. One of these texts will be enough every now and then. Don’t turn this into sexting. Remember, you’re only flirting with him– you still don’t have this man exactly where you want him.

Are you allowed to send him nudes? It would be better if you didn’t. If you do, things will get too sexual, and you’re at risk of turning this into a no-strings-attached kind of thing. It’s better to take things slowly, step-by-step. 

  1. Ask him open-ended questions

The way to keep a man engaged in a conversation is to ask him open-ended questions, especially if you’re dealing with a shy guy. Instead of asking him: “Did you get tired art work today?” ask him, “What was the best and the worst part of your work day?” In the first case, he might answer with just “Yes” or “No”. If you’re lucky, he’ll ask: “What about you?” But in the second case, you’re giving him a chance to talk in more detail. This is how you keep the flow of the conversation alive. 

When the time is right, start with some deep, more personal questions. This is only acceptable when you start opening up to each other. I mean, you can’t ask him about his biggest childhood trauma during the first day of texting. However, when you see that he’s ready, it’s time to dig under the surface and get to know his real face. 

“How would you describe your first relationship?”

If you had the power to correct one problem in the world, what would you fix?”

“What do you miss the most about being a child?”

“Who is your least favorite person in your family?”

“If you could have dinner with one person in the world, dead or alive, who would it be? Why?”

“How do you feel about equality? What are your thoughts on feminism?”

  1. Don’t look too desperate

Here’s another big, fat no. Don’t let him think that you’re desperate. Okay, he figured out you probably like him by now. But that doesn’t mean that you’re madly in love with him and that you wake up every morning looking at your phone and checking if he texted you. The moment a man realizes this, he gains power over you. And that’s the last thing you want. 

If he knows that you’re out with friends, don’t reply every minute. Instead, just send him a sexy selfie. Let him see what an amazing time you’re having. 

Also, if he’s not so keen on quick responses, follow his lead. Yes, this is quite toxic but desperate times, seek desperate measures. If it takes him an hour to reply, I advise you to wait at least an hour and a half before sending your reply (it would be great if you could wait two hours.) Yes, these are immature mind games, but he started it first. 

Another thing that might make you look desperate is essay-long paragraphs. It’s one thing if you’re telling a story and he’s the listener. In that case, it’s normal that you’ll write longer paragraphs. But please, scroll down your conversation a bit. If he’s constantly sending one-word replies without any emojis, and you’re literally writing him a letter in every text, it’s time to reconsider your strategy. Show less interest, but don’t cut him off completely just yet. I promise you that he’ll change his ways in no time. 

  1. Use social media to your advantage

Besides emojis, social media is another ally you can rely on. Whenever you don’t know what to text a guy, just reply to his story. You can just send him one of these emojis 🔥, 🥰, or you can comment on something he posted. 


If you really want to upgrade your game, don’t comment publicly on his photos. Instead, DM him with his photo and give him a compliment. This way, you two will have a chance to continue with your conversation.

However, this is not the only way to use social media to your advantage. If he hasn’t texted you in a while, use your Snapchat and Instagram stories to tease him. Did he tell you that you look great in red? Post a selfie in that smoking-hot new red dress. I’m sure he’ll slide into your DMs right away. Remember that song you guys commented on while you were texting? I guess it’s time to post it. Use whatever you can think of that might tease him– a reference to something you two talked about or an inside joke. Just make sure not to overreact. After all, you don’t to turn your entire profile into a tribute to this man. 

  1. Always leave him wanting more

Here’s a pro tip on how to flirt with a guy over text: never say goodnight or goodbye. Basically, never end a conversation. Because if you do, you’ll have to wait until he decides to reach out to you, or you’ll have to wait until a significant amount of time goes by before it’s socially acceptable for you to text him again. 

Instead, just disappear. Text him back in the morning and say: “Hey, sorry, I fell asleep last night. Where were we?” You’re in the middle of something? Don’t tell him: “Hey, I’ve got to go. Talk to you later.” When will this later be? Will it even happen? Instead, just stop replying and then send him a text: “Hey, sorry, I got caught up in work. What have you been up to?”

How To Text A Guy You’ve Just Met: Additional Tips

But what do you do if you’re texting a stranger? Well, he’s not technically a stranger, but the fact is that you two have just met. You have no mutual friends, and your goal is to get to know him better. Well, all of the tips from the above apply to this situation, as well. However, when you’re texting a guy you’ve just met, you might need some additional advice. Here they are: 

  1. Introduce yourself

First of all, tell him who you are. If you’ve followed him on social media or have gotten his number, send a simple text, such as: “Hey, we met at that coffee shop yesterday. I hope you remember me :). Just wanted to say hi”. No need for long essays, a text like this will be more than enough. 

Don’t send him the first text right away. Instead, wait a couple of days. That will increase his anticipation, and it will make him think of you more. 

  1. Show interest in his life

Sorry to break it to you, but at this point, you’ll have to act like you’re both on a job interview. I know that this is the part that both men and women hate the most about texting, but you’ve got to do what you’ve got to do. How else do you plan on getting to know each other? 

You’ll have to ask him some boring questions, such as where he lives, what he works for a living, where he went to school, and stuff like that. While you’re doing it, don’t make the entire conversation too professional. Use all the advice from the above: don’t forget emojis, tease him, talk about yourself, ask open-ended questions and insert an occasional pun. 

To Wrap It Up:

Now that you’ve learned how to flirt with a guy over text, all you have to do is put this newly-acquired skill into practice. The worst thing you can do at this point is to show him your insecurities. Pretend like texting him is a piece of cake for you because you’ve done it successfully millions of times until now. 

Be confident, and don’t think negatively. I mean, what’s the worst thing that can happen? He won’t reply. Yes, that’s an option. But would that really be the end of the world? Even though I’m sure that won’t happen, even if it does, at least you’ll know you’ve tried. 

Trust me– you have nothing to lose. I believe in you; you’ve got this. Good luck! 

About the author Patrick Banks

Patrick is a Berlin-based dating advisor, motivational speaker, a huge fitness and vegan diet enthusiast and the main editor at Wingman Magazine, specialised in men's health. His ultimate goal is to share with men around the world his passion for self-development and to help them to become the greatest version of themselves. He believes a healthy body and successful social interactions are two main keys to happiness.

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