What to do if you are too bothered with the opinions others have about you?
It’s okay if you worry about other people and their thoughts about you. However, to what extent is this okay?
All of us want to be accepted and loved by others since this is how human psychology works. At the same time, when you are hung up on this, then it may lead to a real personal fallout. All in all, you can never be 100% sure that you have guessed correctly how people really perceive you. You are probably possessed with the opinions of others if:
You can easily ignore your own desires and values just to please another person;
- Never say “no” even when it is necessary;
- Try really hard to prove that you fit in;
- Believe in anything you hear from others about you;
- Never take any risks;
- Have difficulties with making decisions;
- Believe that people dislike you or have something against for no obvious reasons.
When you care about others’ opinions, you become trapped in this until the very unhealthy things like self-doubt and even self-disparagement appear. Of course, being completely sociopathic and ignorant about other people is nothing better. So what is the balance here and how to find it?
Self-reflection and emotional intelligence help us stay aware of our position in others people’s lives without becoming possessed with them. Knowing yourself well may be one of the best ways to boost your confidence. Here is how you can make things significantly better and stop wasting your inner energy.
People don’t actually think about you that much
And trust me, it’s a very relieving fact.
Indeed, we are used to hear the voice of our inner policeman, who sees every step we make and criticizes our mistakes endlessly. We analyze them over and over again, keeping tabs on our failures and success.
It is a mistake to think that other people are as attentive as your inner critic is. Actually, most of them don’t really care about your mistakes or small victories that much. They have their own mistakes and victories to overthink, just like you do.
In reality, only a few people of your social surrounding notice and judge your activity. You will feel better when you realize that at least a circle of people you need to consider is ten times smaller than you have thought. Guaranteed.
You cannot please the whole world
This sounds obvious, but there is no way everybody on Earth will like you. Even understanding this in theory, we subconsciously try to take the right side with everyone we meet, because it is much more comfortable and safe to know that people have a positive attitude towards you than a negative one.
We even have special personal strategies of people-pleasing, trying to be someone objectively nice. Well, considering the fact that almost all of the other people act the same, in most cases, we communicate in a way that leaves us calm but mostly unaware about who we really are.
Dare to be yourself and you will see very soon that an authentic version of you is much better than a person who tries to be nicer than he/she is.
Try to develop a healthy vision of yourself
A healthy vision of yourself means that you know and accept your personality with all its negative and positive aspects. In a word, it is an art of being honest with yourself and work on your weak sides. When you are aware of your true personality, nobody will be able to shatter your self-confidence.
Of course, it is almost impossible to know yourself from the ground up in every particular moment, because people change and try to save themselves from some unpleasant truth. At the same time, the more you know about yourself, your real reasons to do something, your success and disappointments, the better you feel yourself and the easier you can change things in your life.
If you already know who you are, then you probably won’t react painfully on someone’s critic or negative opinion about you. They might be right or wrong and that’s all. Nothing to worry about.
Actions are more valuable than your appearance
Instead of trying to figure out what other people think about you and results of your work, switch your focus on the activity at hand. Paying attention to something that really matters in your life is extremely important and when you do so, you start acting and behaving more naturally.
No critique can make you worried if you know what you are doing and why. On the contrary, if you really know it, critique can serve you as a good advice. Again, if it is inadequate, you will notice this at once.
Communicate with people, who support you
It is important for every person to have someone who can give a positive and fair feedback. When there is a person who cares about you but has no reasons to flatter or down-grade you, it is important to keep in touch with him or her.
We need someone supportive and honest by our sides since this is how we can reevaluate our actions and their outcomes. For example, professional writers, artists, entrepreneurs and other active people value such contacts above all since they give an adequate understanding of what they do without over- or under-estimating it.
Being possessed with the opinions of others can prevent you from living a healthy and free life. It is really hard to be yourself when you only think about pleasing other people. Think about it and do your best to adjust your perception!