Deciding to cohabitate entails considerable stress, especially if you’ve lived solo for a significant amount of time. You’re used to your routine. Now you have another person to think about when you run to the store for milk or head out on the town with the guys.
The Art of Moving in Together with Your Partner
Wondering how to move in smoothly with your loved one? Here’s what you should keep in mind to survive and thrive during the transition.
1. Identify Your Needs and Wants
It may sound cliché, but before you can genuinely love another, you have to love yourself first. I won’t pretend to supersede the expertise of psychologists. However, I will say that knowing yourself is critical before you cohabitate.
As someone who identifies as an incontrovertible introvert, I cherish my alone time. My SO is more outgoing. Before moving in together, I needed to make sure they understood how much personal time means to me. I may look like I’m merely kicking back reading a novel, but on the inside, I’m self-soothing. I get touchy if I don’t have “me” time.
Before you move forward, take an honest look in the mirror. What habits drive you crazy? If the sight of dishes with food bits on them in the sink makes you see red, you need to communicate that. It’s not fair to your partner when you explode and say, “Would it be that hard to rinse your plate and put it in the dishwasher?”
No, it wouldn’t be that hard. But it would be way easier if you had talked about it ahead of time.
2. Sort Your Stuff Together
Unless you plan on trying to cram two bedroom sets into one master suite, you have some decisions to make on what to do with your stuff. Maybe your SO has a dining room table while you use a card table with a plastic cloth on top. Maybe you need to host a hardcore yard sale or list items on Craigslist.
Whatever your situation, make it a joint effort. Also, take photos and measurements once you find your new space. Maybe you don’t want to part with your monster-sized entertainment center, but if it stands 9 feet tall and you have 8-foot ceilings, Houston, you have a problem.
3. Have the Financial Discussion Early
Money is one of the top perpetrators behind relationship problems. Since cohabitation entails merging your bills, at least somewhat, it’s critical to have the financial discussion early. For example, if you plan to buy a house together, you need to decide how much home you can afford with both your incomes.
Before moving in together, you also need to make arrangements for how you’ll handle payments if one of you loses your job or falls ill. Renting requires even more of an emergency fund in a way. While you can miss a mortgage payment without necessarily landing on the street, some landlords are quick with late fees and eviction notices.
You’ll need to decide how to split the remaining expenses as well. If one of you has a significantly higher income, it makes sense for that individual to pay more. The same goes if one of you is burdened with excess debt while the other has little. However, there are no hard-and-fast rules — if you’re more comfortable going 50/50 with everything, that’s your prerogative.
4. Identify Problematic Habits
Be honest. You have some habits you’d rather keep private. Guess what? When you cohabitate, there’s no such thing as picking your nose anonymously — your partner will eventually catch you in the act. While some habits only raise eyebrows, scientists identified four practices that can annoy your partner the most:
• Chewing loudly: Some people do have a psychological trigger that makes them particularly acute to the sound of other people eating. I can relate. I’m a one-kernel-at-a-time popcorn snacker. My SO shovels massive handfuls in at one time. While I’ve learned to thank theaters for their darkness, I cringe every time I witness it.
• Bragging about yourself: Few people want to spend time with someone who’s self-obsessed. You want your SO to celebrate your accomplishments with you, but don’t toot your horn too loudly.
• Staring at your phone: Would you do the same if a boss or colleague was speaking with you? Show your partner the same respect by showing a little restraint during conversations and meals. Moving in together will be followed by continous occasions to interact, keep them respectful.
• Wasting money: Unless you’re Jeff Bezos, your SO probably won’t appreciate you raiding the joint savings account to buy a Porsche. Plus, while holiday car ads look enticing, they probably won’t feel grateful if that new ride tied in a bow comes with a $500 monthly bill.
5. Divvy up Household Chores
Guys, you might not want to hear this, but your job is not to “help” your partner. You’re both grown adults with an equal stake in and responsibility for the household chores. Pro tip: If your SO has to remind you to do the dishes, you’ve already failed.
Even when women are the breadwinners in a relationship, they still get the lioness’s share of the household chores. This dynamic isn’t fair, and it breeds resentment that can compromise your relationship.
Moving in together? Discuss which tasks each of you will tackle — and then do them before she has to prompt you to get to it. I can tell you from personal experience that this simple act alone will improve harmony between you.
6. Learn How to Disagree Peacefully
You stopped at the convenient store on the way home, and the clerk tossed the paper towels in a plastic sack before you could protest. When you arrive home, your SO goes on a Greta Thunberg-esque rant about your lack of environmental consciousness.
Everyone has disagreements from time to time. Learning to do so productively can keep your relationship from self-destructing once you cohabitate. Psychologists agree that contempt is the kiss of death in romantic love. It involves seeing your partner as beneath you, rather than as an equal.
If your SO does something that drives you up the wall, wait until you’re both calm and rational to discuss it. Moving in together can be challenging when you treat your partner like a sponge you can poor your frustration to. Don’t do that to people, and don’t allow anyone to make you their frustration box. Learning how to cheer up your girlfriend or boyfriend when they have a bad day is different than taking in their frustration on regular base.
7. Smooth Out Schedule Conflicts
Sometimes, schedule conflicts cause few problems when you live separately but create significant issues once you move in together. If you have to rise at 3 a.m. for work, and your partner sleeps lightly, your alarm could make it impossible for them to get back to sleep. Even if they could catch Zs in an active combat zone, it’s not polite to slam doors and stomp.
As with most things, communication remains critical. When moving in together establish a weekly check-in where you discuss your schedules from the upcoming week. That way, if you have a crucial presentation on Wednesday morning, they know not to stay up late playing Guitar Hero on Tuesday night.
8. Expect Changes in Intimacy
Maybe your standing Friday night date always included some intimate time between the sheets. Don’t expect the same scenario when you move in together. Some Fridays, you’ll both come home from cyclone-like weeks where you’re simply too tired to get frisky.
Problems arise when you start viewing cohabitation as a trial run for marriage — try to avoid this mindset. When you do, you psychologically set yourself up to fail. Extricating yourself from a five-year cohabitation is every bit as painful as a divorce, so treat living together like the milestone it is.
If you find you’re no longer getting your physical needs met, talk to your partner about how to encourage more togetherness. Exercise sensitivity. Chances are, you don’t feel too sparky when you’re stressed out at work or under the weather, either.
9. Start Assimilating Your Pets
If you and your partner both have pets, the two-legged creatures aren’t the only ones who will have an adjustment period. Your four-legged friends will need to get used to living together, too. They probably already know both of your scents, as well as those of their new housemates by association, but you’ll still need to give them time.
If you have dogs, arrange for them to meet in a neutral location, like a park. You can take them for mutual walks to let them acclimate to each other’s company. If you have feline friends, keep them in separate rooms at first and let them sniff each other through closed doors.
Always provide ample litter boxes — preferably one for each cat. It’s wise to bring the box from the old house to give them a sense of comfort.
10. Establish a Separate Personal Space
I’d probably lose my mind if I didn’t have my office to retreat to every day. Even if you’re the kind of couple who wears matching sweaters at holiday time, you need a place you can call yours.
If you’re sharing a studio apartment, you might only reserve a corner that you separate with a screen. If you can shut out the world by donning noise-canceling headphones while you practice yoga, you’re set.
11. Create a Ritual to Cement Your New Bond
After the heavy lifting of moving couches is over, take time to celebrate this new milestone together. It doesn’t matter if you throw a housewarming party complete with a caterer or merely split an inexpensive bottle of champagne in front of your new fireplace.
Perform a personalized ceremony to make your new space belong to you both.
Consider These 11 Tips as You Prepare
Keep these tips in mind as you plan your new life together. They might just save your sanity — and your relationship.
Oftentimes, moving to a place which is new for you both is the best
12 Tricks To Make Your Move Ultra Smooth and Already Enjoy The First Beer in Your Home
If you have experienced relocating from one location to another in the past, you’d know how stressful a move is. You’d be bombarded with a lot of tasks in preparation for the move. You’d have the clean every corner of your home, sort out which items will be brought or disposed of, look for customer-friendly movers and keep track of all your items throughout the entire duration of the move. If you have several responsibilities on your plate, the amount of stress you’ll experience because of a move can worsen.
Plus, you still have to think about rearranging all of your items to make your new house feel like home and adjust to the new environment, too. Yes, moving will require you to do all of these – and these aren’t even the complete list of to-dos. While you can never disregard any of these tasks, how you accomplish all of these can vary. With the right strategies, you’ll be able to make everything smooth during your move.
Most often than not, people would consider a move as a stressful and time-consuming chore. There are tasks which should be done months and weeks prior to the move. If you’re one who shares the same sentiment, this article can help you change your mindset. If you want to remember your upcoming move for all the right reasons, consider the following tips:
1. Embrace the spreadsheet
Organization is key whenever moving. You need to oversee everything that happens during the move, even if you’re a young male. Although using the traditional pen and paper can help, using a spreadsheet can give you better results.
The latter option is automated which means that you’ll have the convenience of keeping track of your inventory based on box numbers or in alphabetical order. It’ll also be easy for you to determine if a certain item is missing. You just have to hit CTRL + F in your keyboards, and your problem will be solved!
2. Seize the opportunity to purge
Moving to another location is the perfect time to splurge. Since you’ll be sorting out all of your valuables, you’ll know which to bring and dispose of. Moving is the perfect time to embrace minimalist living values and get rid of stuff which is cluttering your life.
For the items for disposal, instead of throwing these, organize a garage sale. A garage sale can be the perfect avenue to get rid of your junk while earning money at the same time. The amount you’ll earn during a garage sale can be spent on other expenses during the move.
3. Keep track of the little items
Just because screws, cords, and remotes are little items, it doesn’t mean that you should disregard them from your inventory. Putting all of these items in one box will make it hard for you to monitor and sort out all of these the moment you arrive in the new house.
You can steer away from this direction by keeping track of the little items that you own. Put these in small containers – a small plastic box or ziplock will do – and tape it at the back of the furniture or appliance where these will be used. Doing this will prevent these items from being lost, and it’ll also be handy for you to install all of these.
4. Reuse some old boxes
Bringing a lot of items whenever moving is not only stressful but expensive, as well. When you have more items to pack and transport, you’re expected to spend more. If you don’t want to break the bank by buying moving boxes, opt to use old boxes instead. If you just purchased a flat screen TV a few weeks ago, use the box as one of your moving boxes. You can also try to visit local stores within your area and ask for used boxes. This can be tedious, but if it helps in saving money, it’s definitely worth it.
5. Buy some colored packing tapes
Numbering boxes is still one of the oldest tricks in the book when it comes to packing. You’ll basically need a marker and tape to get this job done. But if you want to experience a smooth move, opt to use colored packing tapes. These are very cheap and can be purchased almost anywhere. Using colored packing tapes will also make it easier for you and the movers to identify which items should go to which room, saving you time and effort from sorting these out. You can quickly determine which boxes are missing by simply looking at the packing tapes outside.
6. Scope out your new space
Contrary to popular belief, moving doesn’t only require work in your present home. You should also visit your new home days before the move to get the measurements of the doorways, hallways, and stairwells.
The earlier you know the available space in your new home, the better. These measurements will save you stress during moving day – you don’t want to pay for movers who will carry your king-sized bed only to find out that it doesn’t fit in the door, right?
7. Always communicate with the movers
If you’re already certain to hire movers, make sure that you always communicate with them. All of the details for the move should be relayed to them. How many furnitures are you planning to bring? Do you prefer moving early in the morning, mid-afternoon or in the evening? Are you bringing any breakables?
It’s also important to let them know about the condition of the area where you’re moving. Inform them if the streets in this area are too narrow or are filled with people. When you and the movers are on the same page, everything will come off easier.
8. Pack some overnight bags
It’s typical to have several moving boxes whenever moving. Rearranging all of these in one sitting can be too tiresome, especially when you just arrived in your new home. If you don’t want to go through all of your moving boxes just to look for your toiletries, pack an overnight bag. This should include your clothes for a week, medicines, and cell phone and laptop chargers. All of your daily essentials should be placed on these overnight bags.
9. Delay big deliveries
If you’re expecting big deliveries days nearing the move, communicate with the company and have the delivery weeks after the move. A new coach and other big appliances can take up too much space, and if these are delivered before the move, you might have to pay for higher moving expenses – expenses which weren’t included in your budget. Receiving these deliveries after the move is a much convenient and cheaper option to make sure that you take this.
10. Don’t use garbage bags
Several homeowners would use garbage bags as part of their moving boxes. Garbage bags are cheap and big, making it convenient to stuff several items inside it. However, keep in mind that garbage bags weren’t made to support a heavy load.
This can tear in the middle of the move which can cause damage to your items. And the worst part? People might throw away whatever is in the garbage bag – because garbage bags are used for garbage which should be thrown away. This can happen especially if you’ll have several people help you out on moving day.
11. Find a pet sitter for the day
Pets can bring joy to every home; but when you’re moving, having them around can delay the process. They might want to play with you, even if you’re already busy packing all of your valuables. Finding a pet sitter can certainly help in more ways than one.
When you hire a pet sitter, it’ll be easier for you to accomplish tasks because you’ll be free from any distractions (aka your pet’s cute eyes). A pet sitter can also help your pet avoid any trauma or stress during moving day. Have the pet sitter take your pet somewhere before the movers arrive.
12. Treat your movers
Sure, you might have paid a fee in hiring movers but treating to food and drinks doesn’t hurt, either. Once you arrive in your new home, make little chitchats with the movers and ask them to stay. Serve foods and drinks while they’re resting. Doing this is one way of creating a healthy relationship with the movers.
So when you’ll have another move, you’re already comfortable of the movers you’re working with, and they will also feel the same towards you. When you and the movers start building friendships, moving can become a breeze.
What to Do With Your Girlfriend at Home? 7 Unique Games & Activities for Couples
When it comes to spending time with your significant other, it can be very easy to fall into a routine, even if you just moved in together. Watching Netflix shows on repeat. Staring at phone screens endlessly. Or maybe just running out of things to say to each other. With the current situation involving Covid-19, we could forgive you for having conversations run dry.
However there are lots of games and activities that you can do as couples. And I mean activities outside of the bedroom….
Games that can spark new hobbies and interests. Or at least tide you over until we can all start being more social again. So if you’re struggling to think of fun things to do with your special someone. Why not try some of these fun games for couples.
1. Ping Pong
Who doesn’t love Ping Pong? The game is engaging, exciting, easy to play, and a whole lot of fun! Even someone who has never played the game before can grab the basics in no time. This is a great game for couples to know each other better.
All you will need to play is a long table, a net to divide it in half, a ping pong ball and two paddles. There are all sorts of tables available from professional ones to recreational tables for home use. And the best part is these tables aren’t too costly either, and you can even pick a decent ping pong table well under $400 (check reviews).
The rules are simple, similar to the rules of tennis. One player serves and must clear the net. The other player must volley it back over. The ball must bounce once on the other side. Miss the table or fail to return a shot. Then the other player wins a point. This is a competitive game that you can play together and who knows. You might get good enough to compete. So get practicing.
2. Video Games
This may seem obvious. Though it’s a pastime that is often overlooked. This is because multiplayer gaming is mainly online these days. However, if you happen to have a more dated console laying around, then local multiplayer may be the way to beat the boredom. Some say that gaming can even improve your health!
The best consoles for local multiplayer would be the Nintendo Wii, any of the older PlayStation systems, the Gamecube. Or even super retro machines such as the N64, Sega Genesis or the SNES. So if you have any of these. Dust them off, get two controllers untangled and play to your heart’s content.
Be careful though, games can be highly addictive as it’s playing with our dopamine levels in the most fun and engaging way… If you think that playing too much is already your case, check out our guide on how to overcome gaming addiction.
3. Heads Up
This is a game that you can both download on your phone via the app store. The game is free, so you just need a comparable device to play. This game gives a fresh take on the conventional game of charades. One player will choose a category to guess and place the phone to their head. Then the other player will read the actions and try to act them out.
The rules are simple. No words, no writing, just plain acting. If you get one right, then tilt the screen up. If you can’t guess, then tilt the screen down to pass. There are a multitude of free categories to keep this interesting. Plus, if you really enjoy it, there are a number of premium categories to purchase too. This is a lighthearted game that will amuse the two of you for hours.
4. Board Games
Although there are many board games that require a large group. There are also a multitude of great board games made for two players. So if you’re looking for a fun game to play with your partner, then why not hit the local thrift store or toy shop for some board games.
Popular games to play as a pair include Jenga, Scrabble, Connect 4, Checkers, Chess or Tumbling Tower. This is by no means an exhaustive list. Though it gives you a flavour of the options that are on offer for couples who love board games.
Now this one will require couples to travel to a local pool hall or pub. Or failing that, to have a table of their own to play with. Though if this is an option for you, this can be a fantastic way to bond as a pair. Plus allows you to practice a new skill.
aim of the game when playing is to use your pool cue to hit the white cue ball.
This ball will collide with the colored balls, and the challenge is to get all your colored balls into the holes before the other player. It’s a classic pub game that has a low entry-level difficulty. Though it can take a while to master. So, it will keep you busy as you learn together.
6. Lawn Boules
This is a game that you can play in your garden or at your local bowling green. However, for a reasonable price, you can also pick up home boules and a jack online or in your local sports store. This can be a chill and relaxed game that lets you bask in the sun while you play.
The players will choose who will throw the jack onto the playing area. Then once placed. The players will take turns throwing their boules towards the jack. The aim is to have your balls as close to the jack as possible. Once all balls are thrown, then players can score according to who got closest. This can be really competitive and allow couples to bond while enjoying fresh air and light exercise. Get out there and give it a try.
7. Quiz Up
This is another free to download app for your phone. So again, you’ll have to have a compatible device to play. Quiz Up is a free to play trivia game where players can choose from a wide range of categories. You can challenge your partner, advance levels, get special taglines for your player icon. Plus, you can race each other to see who can place the highest on the world rankings.
Think you know more than your loved one about animals. Prove it. Fancy yourself an all-rounder. Then go head to head on general knowledge. Or if you both have a shared interest, like a TV show or sport, then see who is truly the MVP. This game offers hours of fun and a near-infinite list of categories to get stuck into. So what are you waiting for? Get your quiz brains engaged!
That’s our list of games for couples. Are there any that you would have put on the list? How many of these have you tried with your partner? Let us know in the comments. Thanks for reading!