I have collected 23 different and sometimes unexpected reasons here for you that motivate women to have sex. To be more precise, it’s not me, of course, but sexologists Cindy Beston and David Bass in the course of long and painstaking surveys, as well as field research.
You smell right
Unfortunately, that’s a criterion you can’t control yourself. Neither fashionable expensive perfume nor some potion with whale’s sperm which they sold to you as exciting pheromones, will help. Sexologists have found out that for the majority of women the natural scent of a man is of fundamental importance when choosing a partner.
Even the appearance is secondary (but men still turned out to be visual learners: the shape and symmetry of a partner’s face is the main criterion). Scientists believe that in the process of evolution, women have, somehow, learned to recognize men with complementary genes using their sense of smell.
In the experiment, the major histocompatibility complex (MHC), i.e. the genome region which initiates the immune response of our body to viruses and harmful bacteria, was analyzed in 40 men. Then one of these men wore a T-shirt for several days. And then the villain scientists, who are very fond of this kind of entertainment, forced the women, who participated in the experiment, to sniff dirty clothes.
The most attractive smells for women were the smells of those men, whose MHC differed from their own as much as possible. A descendant of such partners would have the maximum set of protective genes. In the course of further research, it turned out that in couples with similar MHC, women are more inclined to fantasize about other men and, as a result, more often segue to adultery.
You are neighbors or work together
Analyzing the history of dating of 5000 couples in the U.S., scientists conclude that women are much more likely to go out on a date if the offer comes from a person they meet regularly but have not talked yet. In other words, if your luminous look, wandering to a dispenser, sunk as a familiar in the mind of a girl, you have every chance to succeed.
Even if she didn’t like you at first, she’s used to you and is ready to consider the most provocative suggestions. This applies not only to people but also to melodies and public characters. We tend to sympathize with the things that are constantly appearing in our environment.
You make eye contact with a stranger for longer than a minute
It usually works well on romantic girls. The survey participants admitted that they agreed to spend the night of love with a stranger only because they were “hypnotized by his eyes.”
Sexologists conducted an experiment: several dozens of couples discovered intimate details of their lives within half an hour and then looked into each other’s eyes for 4 minutes. More than half of the participants felt a strong attraction to their partners, and 2 couples even got married afterward.
Your height is between 184 and 195 cm
The second most important criterion for girls, when choosing a partner, is their appearance. And here, height plays a fundamental role. Not too high, but above the average. 80% of women called this “high-rise” category attractive. Scientists believe that large men are perceived by women as the best defenders and breadwinners.
By the way, not only women. It is indicative that statistically, every 2 cm of height add several thousand dollars to the average annual salary. A tall man is subconsciously respected and promoted by colleagues at work, he is easier to communicate and create a pleasant impression of himself. He also shows less aggression on average: he does not need to prove anything.
You are symmetrical
Even limbs, eyes, no scars or limp. Biological symmetry means a little mutation in your genome (and, therefore, little chance of your genes have “built-in” hidden deformities or diseases that may occur in your offspring). If you don’t have any obvious scars or fractures, it means that you’ve been agile enough or you’ve been growing up in a safe and secure environment (which you’ll probably be able to provide for your children as well). In general, next time your GF starts to blame you for not having six-pack abs, tell her how symmetrical you are. Unless, of course, you are a cross-eyed one-legged hunchback. Then you will have to do a six-pack (just to keep yourself busy with something – sex isn’t going to happen anyway, you know that).
You are V-shaped
It is even better if nature has given you a classic V-shaped body with wide shoulders and narrow hips. At the first opportunity, take off your shirt and enjoy the statistics: people of your type begin to have sex earlier, they have more partners during their lifetime, they cause jealousy in husbands because it is them who most often are chosen to be their wives’ lovers.
However, do not rush to focus too much on your wonderful silhouette in the gym. According to the survey, the stereotype promoted by men’s fitness magazines is as far from the female icon as the anorexic fashion models are from the male one. Most of the girls clearly stated that they were only attracted to slightly athletic bodies, not grotesque bodybuilders.
You have a strong chin, massive forehead, and wide lower jaw
The masculine type of face is an irresistible magnet for women, as it indicates a high level of testosterone. The fact is that this hormone is responsible for the formation of facial bones of the skull in adolescence. Its excess can only be afforded by young men with extremely good health, as a high level of testosterone reduces immunity.
Thus, a manly face means that its owner is as healthy as a bull and extremely sexually active. An interesting fact: owners of such faces attract women when they are in their fertile phase. They become perfect lovers.
However, for long-term relationships, ladies prefer men with more “childlike” faces as it is easier to get them to do the chores, e.g. take out the garbage, loyalty, and care.
You have a deep voice
During adolescence, boys’ larynx begins to change dramatically – their vocal cords become 60% longer than girls’, and the voice becomes rougher. This process is again led by testosterone, and the more it is, the deeper the voice. By the way, a similar story happens, say, with frogs. According to the timbre of quacking, females choose the largest and healthiest males.
You move and sit like a dominant male
Every second you’re in some company of other people, body language reveals all of you. U.S. scientists have been observing the behavior of a pub’s visitors and have discovered that there is a certain behavior pattern that is typical for men who are more likely to establish contact with women. This is what they were doing:
- A short, direct look into the eyes;
- More “maximizing space” movements, such as stretching;
- More shifting;
- More patronizing touches of other men (e.g. patting on the back);
- Less closed positions (with legs/arms crossed).
This behavior indicates that you feel free and dominate the area. But be careful with these techniques at work! Especially with regard to your superiors. Too obvious pretensions to dominance can cause confusion, discomfort, and a desire to put you in your place.
You are confident and know how to joke
Physics is clear. But what about moral qualities? Most women, interviewed by American sexologists, name only 2 features of character that they consider sexual: confidence and sense of humor. In biological terms, it is easy to explain. A confident man is perceived as dominant, and thus, the most desirable. Confidence is also evidence that you already have experience of successful social adaptation and previous relationships.
A sense of humour, in turn, also indicates confidence (to shoot a joke is always to attract attention), developed intelligence, a high degree of socialization and empathy, i.e. the ability to empathize (because to make fun of something means to feel and understand). Since people are social animals to the extreme, these qualities are very important and attractive to us, especially in long-term relationships.
In interviews with sexologists, women admitted that very often the first great impression of the “man of their erotic dream” was totally ruined when he started talking. Conversely, a person who at first glance caused a strong dislike, after a cheerful evening in his company, suddenly seemed incredibly sexy.
You came with your female friends
Mammals (and even fish) have the phenomenon of copying the choice of other females. Evolutionarily, it is easier to rely on the collective unconscious, share risks with others than to be the first and bear full responsibility. Thus, if a man had many women, if he was constantly surrounded by beauties, it automatically increases his attractiveness to the following partners. Curiously, this law does not work in the opposite direction.
Sexologists conducted (another) experiment: women and men were shown photos of the same opposite sex, first surrounded by male friends, then surrounded by female friends, and all alone. The participants were asked to rate a person’s sexuality on a scale of ten.
Women gave the highest marks to a man around other women (especially if they were beautiful), slightly less attractive was a man surrounded by male friends, and a “lonely cowboy” was liked the least. Male participants did the opposite.
They gave the highest marks to a lonely lady. A girl with her merry girlfriends was put on the second place. And the one surrounded by potential rivals appeared quite unattractive.
You remind her of someone from childhood
This case is also completely out of control, but it can work miracles. Scientists have found that every woman in the subconscious has a certain “lover model” which is made up of pleasant and unpleasant childhood memories. Already forgotten bearded uncle, who used to read fairy tales in a French manner, and one could fall asleep on his lap so sweet, is able to provide all bearded and mispronouncing ‘r’ and ‘l’ men with irresistible power over this woman.
A bald, nasty doctor wearing glasses can suddenly emerge from the feverish nightmare of a children’s clinic and destroy your perfect family, as soon as you start to go bald or wear glasses. However, there is a clue. If you already in a relationship and find out that all your girlfriend’s exes look kind of similar – here it is, the “lover model”! Now all you have to do is look in the mirror and understand how serious your situation is.
You are famous
The sexuality of fame is obvious. However, how can we explain the evolutionary and biological causes of this phenomenon? It is clear that fame is most often accompanied by access to material benefits. In this sense, a celebrity is a beneficial party for a long-term relationship.
However, women are often ready to enter a short-term relationship with a celebrity. Even if unattractive! Why not? The fact is that a female status is automatically established for social animals by the status of a partner.
Even a one-night stand with a man who is not from her circle raises the shares among her friends and potential partners. In addition, during sex with a celebrity, a woman gets an opportunity to get for her child those genes that have provided fame to his father.
You gave her sexual pleasure
This case does not belong to the category “first meeting”, but it is the main reason why women have sex. The orgasm has irresistible power not only over her body but also over the mind.
Biochemistry of the orgasm is such that, under certain circumstances, it can make a woman literally your slave, sex addict who will be dependent on your affection.
It is the orgasm by the release of oxytocin (hormone) is responsible for the formation of an emotional bond between you which makes a woman fall in love and want to have sex with you, in particular.
You are a good kisser
Kisses are generally healthy, they reduce the level of cortisol, a stress hormone. For homo sapiens, this strange ritual is also an important test of a potential partner’s physical and emotional qualities.
Mouth breath tells us about the health condition of a partner, and the ability to feel what kind of lip contact is the most enjoyable for a woman right now is a sign of empathy and a desire to please her.
Not surprisingly, 50% of men and only 15% of women agree to have sex without a kiss. At the same time, 66% of women and 58% of men admitted that sexual desire has evaporated after an unsuccessful kiss.
She wants to lure you into a relationship
Girls, especially young girls, tend to think that sex will make you fall in love with her. A lot of women around the world have admitted that for the first time they have conceded to the pressure of their partner solely to maintain or strengthen a relationship.
It is up to you to take advantage of this, but our biochemistry is such that it is women themselves who most often fall in love after sex.
She is in a family crisis
There are two options. First, she wants to fix it and uses you as bait for her husband. Up to 50% of women start flirting with other men if they are not sure about their regular partner.
Tactics are justified in most cases: by proving that they are desirable for other men, the woman becomes more attractive to her partner. Some even cheat on their husbands in an attempt to get their husbands back.
However, in this case, they will fail. Treason dramatically reduces the value of a woman in the eyes of a man. In any case, the status of “unloved” lover of another man’s wife is unlikely to bring you much pleasure.
The second option, when the woman has already decided that the old relationship cannot be restored, is more honest. Women are not inclined to leave the relationship and go nowhere, so, most likely, a disappointed wife sees you as a “temporary base” or a new great feeling (depending on how things work out for you).
You can, of course, try because, most likely, you are going to get unforgettable sex: the girl will try to prove you (and herself) that it is too early for her to be “dismissed.” But be careful – most likely, all the problems of her unfolded family life will be transferred to your relationship. Keep in mind that 79% of women fall in love with men that they initially consider a casual affair on the side.
She has just broken up with someone else
Women, like men, quite often try to test the proverb “fight fire with fire” in practice. This has a rational biologic seed: the negative emotions we experience after breaking up with a loved one are largely due to changes in the hormonal background due to the cessation of regular sex. We lack oxytocin, serotonin, and dopamine.
Sex with another partner helps to restore some of the hormonal balance and in this sense really alleviates the pain of separation. However, in the case of oxytocin (a classic antidepressant that helps relieve stress), it is not that simple because it is much more active in women in response to sex with a familiar partner.
That is why sex with another man immediately after separation often causes frustration and bitterness, the same as that of a drug addict who, during withdrawal, has placebo injected instead of a drug.
You are her worst friend’s boyfriend
About a third of women admit that they have used sex at least once in their lives to get revenge on a girlfriend or partner. The woman herself often brings shame and regret instead of pleasure, but in some cases, the desire to take revenge forces the revengers to do the most curious things in bed. So if her ex is not your friend, and you have nothing serious with her friend, I do not recommend to refuse such a delicacy.
She is curious
In today’s liberated world, sex for pleasure or to try new tactics is not considered shameful. Such intercourse is most often the tendency of extraverted women who are also eager to try unusual food, travel to exotic countries, etc. And if you happen to be born a two-meter tall black man, feel free to go hunting white tourists. If not, you will have to think of something to amaze her with. Here’s a hint – sexologists have established that up to 30% of women fantasize about sexual submission.
She has lost weight
For women, as for men, sex is an important way to increase their self-esteem. This leads to a certain vicious circle: a sense of insecurity reduces sexual desire, and the absence of sex perpetuates insecurity. It may be broken in a well-known way – focus on your appearance. Women are well aware that visual information is important for men when choosing a partner, which is why. in all cultures, they spend much more time on grooming than men. In today’s world, bent on the propaganda of weight loss, the achievements, which a young lady unlocks on the scales, are instantly projected into all spheres of her life. A huge percentage of women, surveyed, confessed to sexologists that they felt that their sexuality was revealed and they were ready to enter intimate adventures immediately to make sure of it.
She liked your gift
As primitive as it may sound, sex for material benefits is still being hardwired into the mind of most modern and seemingly independent women. In 79% of countries, there is a tradition of giving gifts to women. Another 5% of countries have both women and men involved in gift-giving (but men’s gifts are more expensive). There are no countries where gifts are given only by women. What kind of gift can you give her?
According to statistics, women most often have sex in exchange for:
- Dinner at a good restaurant;
- Material benefits (range from a bouquet of flowers to a car);
- Participation in an extravagant lifestyle of a man (clubs, parties, weekend trips in a luxury car);
- Work promotion (or assistance in taking an exam at a university).
Miserliness, in this case, is one of the main annihilators of sexual arousal.
You told her you love her
This trope still works great. Women are much more willing to have sex if they are convinced of the seriousness of their partner’s intentions. About 30% of women complained that their partner misled them about the depth of their feelings and took advantage of the moment. 71% of men admitted that they exaggerated their passion for women in order to achieve sex. The dramatic difference in these figures is explained by the fact that it is not easy for women to admit that they have been deceived. They have much more intense oxytocin secretion during sex which makes them more trusting and sensitive. Thus, the lack of attention after sex is psychologically more painful for women.
Author bio: Roy Emerson is a technology enthusiast, a loving father of twins, a programmer in a custom software company.
Editor in chief of TheHomeDweller blog greedy reader and gardener.