How To Get A Girlfriend? (The Only 1 Thing You Need to Understand)
I know you’ve been lonely for a long time…
You hate the ‘pick up artists’ who brag about their exploits like cocky frat boys…
It isn’t about hundreds of women for you…
In fact, it isn’t even about someBODY…
It’s about finding someONE.
And I get that, because I’ve been there.
But before we get into that let’s address a few things first.
How To Get A Girlfriend
I’ll never forget him…
It was my first public-speaking event and I was sitting in the center of a circle of thirty or so guys and I was taking questions.
That was when he put up his hand.
“My girlfriend broke up with me” he said, defeated.
“She said she just wasn’t attracted to me anymore…”
After probing further I got a better picture of the story.
Guy meets girl. Guy likes girl. Girl doesn’t really care but finally gives in and agrees to a relationship. Guy has no goals, no dreams, no standards, no self-respect and no self-confidence. 3 months in she obviously can’t stand it anymore so she breaks up with him.
Same old story – I’ve been there.
The worst part is? She didn’t even seem like anything special herself. By the sound of it she was quite boring… She certainly wasn’t all that nice to him… She didn’t have any goals and dreams herself, they never quite did anything exciting…
The whole story just reeked of my greatest dislike on this earth; mediocrity!
I asked him why he wanted to get back together with this girl so badly.
He replied, to my horror…
“I just want a girlfriend!”
How Not To Get A Girlfriend
It’s not entirely this guy’s fault to be honest.
The truth is that he had a gaping throbbing hole in his soul that he needed to fill – but no one ever taught him that women should never be used to fill that gaping hole!
Nor that actually filling that gaping hole in his being is precisely what will make a woman not just attracted to him, but completely enamoured, infatuated and obsessed with him.
More importantly though, no one ever told him that filling that gaping hole in his soul turns out to be the single greatest, most astounding, most amazing and most fulfilling adventure he can ever embark on in his entire life.
I know, because it’s the journey I have been on for 6 years, and I’ve had moments so frighteningly beautiful that I’ve knelt in silent prayer with tears in my eyes knowing that THIS is the meaning of life. THIS is what we’re all here for…
But none of that will happen if your only goal in life is to get a girlfriend…
None of that can happen if, like a lost child, you have no standards or values and just run towards the first person to give you a bit of attention and then cling desperately to that person.
How To Actually Get A Girlfriend
Invest in yourself.
There, I said it.
And I know you won’t believe me…
Because what you really want is point A to point B
Do THIS (point A) and you will get the girl (Point B).
But no one has the balls to tell you that between point A and B lie countless adventures, thousands of tiny failures and rejections and disappointments, happy days and dark ones, despair and joy…
You want to avoid this journey…
Like my poor lost friend mentioned above, you want the joy, peace and comfort without ever risking discomfort.
But the truth is that you must invest in yourself.
And this is FUN.
It means waking up excited!
It means living a life of your own design.
It means building your goals and dreams every single day.
It means going on awesome adventures and meeting tons and tons of new people!
It means working out, being healthy, helping people, confronting your inner demons, striving towards making the world a better place, going out, giving love, meeting new people, trying new things… And then inviting that one special girl to become a part of your life.
I met my current girlfriend at a bus stop in Warsaw’s old town. She was reading a book when I looked at her and told her I can’t take my eyes off her. We went on a few dates before I went back to Canada. When I moved back to Warsaw I called her – I havn’t been on a date with another girl since. None of us actually thought we’d ever see each other again. It was simple on my end.
To her, I stand out. I am always working on my goals, I am always striving to better myself. I am always trying new things and challenging her to grow with me – it was a no brainer for her to be with me.
But beneath all of that, she didn’t see the shy broken boy who felt lost and confused 6 years ago. She didn’t see the times I went to the fancy nightclubs with rich people, models and millionaires. She didn’t see the times I forced myself to go speak to beautiful women, even though my lips were quivering and my legs were shaking. She didn’t see the arguments with my parents when I told them I was quitting my job in advertising and pursuing my dream to change the world and help men grow… She didn’t see the depression in my crappy apartment in southern Spain, where I was in a ball on the floor in tears wondering if I could ever have the impact I wanted to have – if I even had what it takes.
Would I change any of that? No.
Not one single thing.
Because it’s the experiences in life that make it worthwhile.
Getting a girlfriend is easy when your life is an unforgettable adventure.
Once you get there, you won’t ever have to worry about a woman leaving you, because there literally is no one else like you out there.
Truly your biggest fan,
Pat Ananda
