Let’s get one thing clear: nobody likes condoms. They smell and feel weird. They’re basically a pain in the ass.
But consider this:
Pregnancy or herpes are an even greater pain in the ass.
Now, a guy can choose not to wear a condom for many different reasons and I get that. In the heat of the moment, condoms is the last thing you want to think about. But trust me, forgetting about condoms can make your life hell.
If you often find yourself refusing to wear a condom, you’re not alone. A recent study from the Journal of Sex Research revealed that 80% of men have tried to resist using that type of protection at one point or another.
What baffles me is that even though we know that using condoms prevents the spread of STDs and STIs, we still tend to be reluctant to use them every single time we have sex.
Guys who brag about convincing their hot one night stand dates to have sex without a condom are just weird. Sure, they get all the pleasure, but when they do that they’re also technically having sex with every single person who slept with their current bedfellow.
That thought alone should be enough for a guy to go running to a pharmacy and get a pack of condoms as quickly as possible.
In the face of more or less serious sexually-transmitted diseases, not to mention all the risks of unplanned parenthood, I wondered why guys still refuse to wear condoms.
So I’ve done my research and I came up with these 6 ridiculous reasons guys give for not wearing a condom.
Excuse 1. It reduces pleasure
The Gates Foundation recently offered $100,000 for the design of a condom that would increase pleasure. Not a bad research project!
The problem is real because apparently many guys refuse to wear condoms principally because condoms reduce pleasure.
And that makes sense. Even a thin layer of latex is bound to have an impact on the experience.
Many people who discuss that point also talk about men as pleasure-seeking creatures in general, probably because it matches that public image of man as lustful beasts who can’t control their instincts.
But we need to dig a little deeper into this problem and ask men why they’re actually worried about reduced pleasure in the first place. Men have a share of expectations about sex, just like women. And in the chase of maximizing their experience, they might forget that about the risks of unprotected sex. Everyone likes to feel good, but chlamydia or syphilis are a high price to pay for a couple of happy hours.
Plus, we’ve come so far in designing condoms that fit well and help to give the receiving partner more pleasure. The textures, shapes, and sizes are there to play with and if you’re worried about dryness, just use some lubricant to increase the sensations for both you and your partner.
Excuse 2. It affects performance
In some cases, men can be simply allergic to latex. Solution? They should use latex-free condoms that are widely available on the market.
But what happens, when wearing a condom affects the male performance in the bedroom?
That is a common problem and it has to do with what we have been taught throughout the centuries: namely that our self-worth is connected to our sexuality.
For the most part of human history, men derived their value from two things: their ability to go out and kill animals, and their sexual prowess. A real man is full of stamina and vigor. Anything else renders him less of a man.
I think anyone would agree that these days, the above is simply bullshit. I mean, being a man means something else in an age when nobody needs to hunt their dinner anymore.
Excuse 3. Because it might not fit
Another reason men give for their refusal to use condoms is the fear that the condom might simply not fit.
Recent research confirms that. One study revealed that participants decided not to use a condom because they were afraid that it would break, slip, or be ill-fitting. A 2009 study from Indiana University found out that guys with larger or smaller penises (than the imagined average) tended to have a kind of negative attitude when it came to wearing condoms.
Just in case you’re wondering, the average penis length for a guy is between 6 and 8 inches.
There are lots of condoms available on the market, so being afraid that something will go wrong with the condom doesn’t make sense. As a guy, you should look out for your best interest and never put your health on the line just because you’re afraid that the condom might not fit (and obviously learn how to use a condom correctly).
Excuse 4. Condoms kill the moment
There is no denying that condoms are not exactly exciting or romantic. In fact, most guys would agree that condoms kind of kill the moment.
It might not be ideal for either partner to have to stop and wait a couple of minutes while the other fumbles down their pockets in search for a condom while things are getting hot and heavy, but it’s definitely worth it.
Actually, putting on a condom can become thrilling in itself, if you know how to go on about it. Ask your partner to do it using their hands or lips and you’ll see what I mean.
Excuse 5. Condoms aren’t for guys who were tested
So you get down to it and when the girl asks about a condom, you simply tell her that you’ve been tested. So you took care of your health? That’s great news!
Sadly, it has nothing to do with the situation in which you find yourself right now.
Just because you’ve tested negative for STIs doesn’t mean that you will be testing negative once you have unprotected sex. In other words, your current partner might be going through an infection without even being aware of that, and you’re pristine health record might be at risk!
Now, many guys think that having sex without a condom is something that builds trust between people.
I’d trade trust for healthcare in a second. If you use a condom, you show your partner that you care about yourself and about them as well. Don’t kid yourself, you can’t build trust with unprotected sex. In fact, most of the time having sex without a condom happens as a result of the trust you’ve already built in the relationship.
So don’t rush things, and wear a condom. You won’t regret it.
Excuse 6. Where’s my condom!?
The final reason for not wearing a condom is a simple one. Guys often don’t have condoms on them when the situation gets hot.
That’s clearly a strategic mistake, especially if you’re going out on a date that might get interesting as the evening unfolds. Putting a couple of condoms in your wallet is a must in this case. I mean, come on? You wouldn’t want to miss out on some fun just because you forgot to pick up some protection on your way to the date.
The male relationship with condoms is complicated. On the one hand, we can have more sex thanks to condoms. On the other hand, condoms often make sex less pleasurable.
That looks like a stalemate, doesn’t it?
The thing is, as long as we think about condoms the way we do now, nothing will ever change. Instead of treating a condom as a necessary evil for those who want to keep it clean and healthy, we could start thinking about them as sex accessories – something that brings in more excitement or even humor to the bedroom, all the while keeping both partners safe.