Why Do I Feel Worthless? How You Can Find a Sense of Purpose By Helping Yourself and Others

By Sofia Alves

Posted 9 months agoGROWTH

As a society, we still have long ways to go before the subject of mental illness becomes so widespread that anyone can feel free to share their story. It’s interesting to note that people generally don’t have trouble speaking about their physical health, while themes such as mental issues, feeling worthless, having it difficult to find a purpose and emotionally related problems are rarely openly talked about. The 21st century is in full swing, yet we still have trouble confessing our deepest fears and communicating our true emotions. Wondering sometimes:’ why do I feel so worthless”? Then read on.

Even in 21st century those who aren’t afraid to speak up sometimes get stigmatized and criticized for their ’lack of ability to endure these rough periods’. From an early age, we’re taught to suppress our emotions and ’toughen up’. This can be especially hard for boys/young males since we all know that ’boys don’t cry’.

But this kind of behavior only leads to creating even bigger issues: suppressing your emotions is never a good choice. Those who do that often time struggle later in life and have trouble finding their spot in the world and suffer from depression. If you have difficulties discovering your sense of purpose it’s paramount that you start working on it as soon as possible.

Why Do I Feel Worthless?

The society made us think that we need to accomplish particular things, usually materialistic and superficial, in order to be ‘worth’. Nothing more wrong than that! The true, happy being and sincere, loving connections with others together is the biggest ‘worth’ and the essence of life. You don’t need much more than that!

You don’t ask an animal or a plant why it’s alive.

It’s alive with all its beauty for the sake of being. Its existence is the ultimate reason and purpose. And the same applies to humans. People often link their self-worth, with some kind of achievement, confusing if with a sense of purpose.

In this article, we’re going to talk about how exactly to accomplish this and why this discovery is so important to stop feeling worthless and build self-esteem in a healthy and rewarding manner.

The Importance of Finding a Sense of Purpose

In case you were wondering why having a sense of purpose is so crucial, we’ll just remind you of a 2011 study published by Applied Psychology which says that those who reported higher levels of eudaimonic well-being were also the ones who lived longer.

This ’eudaimonic well-being’ is directly connected to the feeling of having a sense of purpose in life. It’s also connected to having more control over one’s life and doing things that you consider to be purposeful, instead of wondering: “why do I feel worthless?”

How to Stop Feeling Worthless and Find a Sense of Purpose

So, if you aim at living a healthy, happy, harmonious, prosperous life, we’d strongly advise you to find this sense of aim, if you lack one. But anyone who has been in such a position of a lack of purposefulness can attest that this is much easier said than done.

Wondering ‘Why Do I Feel Worthless’? Want to help the society?

Start from helping yourself.

Aimlessly wandering through life isn’t exactly the most fun, and if you’re one of those people, rest assured that we hear your weeps and cries. We’re more than aware that no one can instill the sense of purpose in you but we nevertheless recommend you to hear us out and take into consideration the following seven ways you can use to increase your sense of purpose.

5 Wonderful Ways How Your Self-Development Can Influence Health of The Whole Society

Health has always been a problem that the government tries to solve. The mere existence of the National Health Improvement Initiative proves that millions of dollars are spent each year in an effort to tackle US health problems.

This program works and shows statistics you can see on TV. But what if you personally could influence these numbers? Well, according to one research, self-development coaching doesn’t influence the quality of life in the long run.

However, this study focused on coaching programs. It proved the fact that many so-called “coaches” are not worth a dime. What if there was a hypothetical scenario where your personal development is effective? Supposing most people started some kind of self-development, what would the consequences for public health be?

Hop on to learn what your country would look like in this scenario!

What is self-development?

Okay, let’s first define what we mean by self-development in this context.

Have you ever heard about courses or a book that is supposed to teach you how to live your life? Remember those ads that promised to make you so motivated that you would start an Apple-competitor company?

Well, that’s not self-development. That is people trying to sell you something under the guise of self-development.

Self-development that we are going to look closely at in this article is something different. It is seeking knowledge about your body and mind. It is learning how you function and the ways you can enhance your performance. Essentially, it is the pursuit of happiness.

Why personal development affects health improvement 

Why does this thought experiment even exist? Because there is a reason to believe that people on their own may be better at raising society’s health. Here’s why.

That’s you who shape the society

Individuals shape the society.You might have heard phrases like “our society needs health reforms” or “this nation is healthy.” But wait, society is just a construct, isn’t it?

“Society” doesn’t vote, “society” doesn’t work, and “society” doesn’t eat fast food. People do.

That is why if everyone cares about themselves, society as a whole will be better off.

Your own efforts work better

Do you remember school? Stuff like history and biology probably have appeared so dull. But when you read about hormones or watch a history video on YouTube, it seems pretty fun and educating. Why is that so?

The thing is, we are not wired to find whatever we are told fun. We are wired to learn about things after they get us interested.

That is why if the initiative is from the ground up, we may end up with a healthier society.

How self-development affects health:

Now that we know what it is and how it works, let’s see how self-development would be improving health.

1. More sleep

Do you get enough sleep? Probably not. It is very rare that a young person can sleep the recommended 8 hours, let alone more than that.

What was the last time you went to sleep before 12 AM? The odds are, you stick around until 2 AM watching YouTube videos.

Do you really need to read about quantum mechanics on Wikipedia when you need to get up in four hours? Probably not, but you don’t feel like sleeping anyway.

The problem is you don’t have enough physical activity to want to hug that bed. When you exercise, you help your body prepare to sleep. Your temperature goes up and then drops. When that happens, your level of melatonin increases, making you more sleepy. Even going for a walk before you go to bed can help you.

2. Sharper wits

Are you sure you can focus on anything for a couple of hours? That’s without watching YouTube or browsing Instagram.

If you can, then you are on the top of your game. Many students can’t handle their alertness and resort to Adderall to help them concentrate or use essay websites like bestcustomwriting.com to buy college papers.

But, you can save the money you were planning to spend on Adderall by doing sports. Exercising helps your body be more mentally alert in a lot of ways.

One of them is being in the “zone.” You probably had experienced this state of mind when playing a team sport. You kind of tune out and just do what you have to.

How does it help you? The “zone” is basically a form of mindfulness, like meditation. Practicing mindfulness for a short time each day gives your brain tons of benefits. Among them is the ability to focus better.

3. Fitness and health

Our bodies did not evolve to spend the whole day sitting in front of a computer screen. You may not believe this from a cubicle, but the evolution made sure we can run, climb, and hunt wild beasts.

When you are inactive, your body thinks you don’t need muscle anymore and reduces the amount you have. Eating food with lots of sugar and fat doesn’t help either.

People who learn how their body works and responds to different foods and activities know better. With the proper knowledge, no one will trade a tasty and nutritious dish for a hamburger.

Exercise also helps your health. You don’t even have to pump iron for days on end. Doing pushups or even going for a walk is enough to be fit.

4. Less stress

How can you fight stress with the gym if you get so stressed after it? The answer is in the intensity.

People who work out to grow their bicep to the Schwartznegger size probably get stressed a lot. People who do jogging or swimming a couple of days a week don’t.

When you read up on healthy lifestyle, you know that exercise helps you control the level of stress hormones in your blood. So does healthy eating.

That means people who are into self-development end up being less stressed out.

5. Lower chance of getting Alzheimer’s

Back in the caveman days, you would be considered old at 40. Now, this age is closer to 70.

Back in the Stone Age, you would be scared of getting eaten by predators or dying because of the common cold. Now, since our medicine is comparatively advanced, you won’t die from contracting flu. However, you are left with a much grimmer fear.

In the era when living in your 70s is a norm, the only thing you should really fear is not being able to live your 70s fully. Alzheimer’s and dementia are one of the biggest threats now.

Your brain degrades, and, in the end, you stop being you. You don’t recognize your children and can’t understand where you are.

However, exercise may help to prevent this disease. Since doing sports fills your brain with oxygen-rich blood and improves memory, your chances of getting Alzheimer’s are getting lower.

6. Longer life span

You can’t live forever, but who’d say no if they were offered a couple more years? Certainly not the self-developing types.

Imagine this, you spend your life fit, mentally sharp, and you can’t be bothered by stress. Do you see this person dying of a heart attack in their cubicle because they can’t handle another report? Probably not.

This is proven by a study that links exercise to longevity. According to the scientists, jogging and going to the gym extend your life.

However, there are two other factors to keep in mind. To live even longer, you have to be engaged in thinking and social interactions — precisely the two things you have to do to foster self-development.

You read a lot, think a lot, and discuss the findings with your friends. Ironically enough, when you are looking for ways to be better, you are becoming better.

What does this mean for society?

Okay, now you know what self-development can do for you. But how would this influence the national health statistics? Let’s find out.

1. Less preventable deaths

Preventable deaths are those that are caused by diseases linked to unhealthy habits.

Think lung cancer. Sure, some people get lung cancer without smoking a single cigarette in their life. But many are lifetime smokers who buy more than a pack a day.

The same goes for cardiovascular disease. Many of these deaths could have been prevented if the person had less stress and more exercise.

2. Lower rates of obesity

It’s ironic that the biggest problem we face nowadays as a society is the abundance of food. There is so much, and it comes with such a low price tag, that obesity statistics show terrifying numbers.

In a scenario where most people take efforts to develop as a person, there are fewer reasons to go over that edge. Physically, your body is going to be healthier. Mentally, you won’t indulge in food if you feel bad, but rather solve your problems.

3. Lower suicide rate

It is weird that people would end their lives in prosperous societies like the first world countries. Yet they still do it, and even highly developed counties like Japan and Korea have one the highest suicide rates.

If self-development brings responsibility for your actions and a proactive approach to life, the odds are, suicide statistics is going to go down with time.

Doing sport has proven effect on preventing and curing addictions as well as boosting the overall mental health.

4. Increased average life expectancy

In this hypothetical country, where people are fit both mentally and physically, life expectancy is probably going to grow. Sure, it will take a couple of dozens of years, but it will increase.

People who live a life full of health and happiness are less likely to lose the will to live, as some of the depressed elders might do. They also are more likely to live for another ten years in good health.

5. Less strain on the medical industry

The end result of people being healthier on average is less strain on the doctors. The majority of checkups are related to the common cold and the like.

If these perfect self-developing folks act on their findings, it’s likely that their immune systems will not let the viruses in that often. As a result, you will be able to see your doctor without spending hours in a line.

The problem with this thought experiment

The thing is, the picture we’ve just painted you looks far too utopian. If there is so much information out there that you can use to be more fit and live longer, why doesn’t everyone look like an athlete or becomes a great-grandparent?

That’s because many people have lives to get on with. As sad as it sounds, some people are too busy managing work, marriage, children, and hobbies that they forget about self-development.

This scenario is probably not going to become a reality for everyone in the nearest future. But, it can be for you or your children. Once again as the saying goes,:

 “If you want to change the world, start with yourself first.”

If you are interested in a healthy and happy life, not in improving national stats, your future is in your hands.

1. Pay Attention to Your Dreams, Hopes, and Desires

One of the most essential things to realize when you’re struggling to find your life’s goal is to pay attention to yourself.

Start with a little bit of self-reflection (virtually look yourself in the mirror, if necessary) and ask yourself these questions: What are my dreams, hopes, and desires? It’s paramount that you highlight and accentuate the word ’my’ here.This means that you have to stop worrying about others for a moment – what they might think or say – and fully commit to realizing what exactly is it that drives you.

Often time we get caught up in doing things that others expect us to do, without ever realizing that we’re not doing anything that makes us happy.So, the next time you feel like doing a little bit of soul searching, maybe start by asking yourself about the things that you’d like to do in life, instead of thinking about what this or that person, or the society asks you to do.

2. Care for a Pet

Helping others is awesome, but caring for someone or something can be
an even greater feeling. Not only does it feel good to be responsible for
someone/something, but it’s actually life-changing, in a way. Anyone who’s been
in a position to care for a pet knows just how rewarding it is to wake up every
morning and have someone by your side. This animal (it can be a cat, a dog, a
bird, a turtle, or a snake – it doesn’t matter) relies heavily on you and this
creates a sense of purpose like few other things in life.

You embrace this new role more and more and suddenly, without even realizing, you’re not even thinking about what’s your purpose in life. When this moment strikes you, you’ll probably also think that this is exactly what you needed. In many cases, it’s this moment in time when we realize that we’ve stopped asking questions about our purpose that we’ve actually found it.

3. Read

Reading is one of those few activities that can take you to places that are beyond your imagination. Ever so often we get caught up in our daily routine that we find ourselves constantly thinking about different ways on how to break up these procedures and stop the ’Groundhog Day’ from happening time and time again.

In some cases, this is done easiest with the help of a good book. That’s why it’s crucial to find enough time during the day to read something that inspires and motivates us. Sometimes we just need a nlittle push to get things going in the direction of our preference.

Reading gives you a different perspective on things, thus helping you get out of the rut and ordinary life that eats up your energy and creativity.

4. Make Enough Time for Yourself and Pick Up a Hobby

While we’re on the subject of creativity, we strongly advise you to pick up a hobby that’s going to help you cope with any problems and issues that you might be facing at the moment.

We’ve already talked about how important it is to listen to your hopes, dreams, and desires. If you enjoy doing something creative in your spare time, it’s paramount that you start doing that immediately. You can write songs, paint, do woodwork, play an instrument, learn a new language, and so on. Any of those things can help you immensely in discovering your life’s goals and purpose.

Staying curious and eager to develop is not only good for you, but for your relationship. Better to bring fresh energy to the relationship from your new passion than breaking boredom with cheating or flirting with others, right? Goes both ways!

Just remember that this purpose doesn’t have to mean that you need to do something big. Take your time and be patient. There are numerous examples of people who found their purpose much later in life. As we’ve already indicated, it doesn’t matter when this happens: but whenever it does happen, you’ll be content beyond ever imagining.

5. Talk and Listen to People

A great way to (re) discovers purpose in your life can be even just talking and listening to people more carefully. In today’s world, these social skills tend to be hugely neglected due to many different factors and reasons. It’s quite sad to see that we have more and more difficulties in communicating the right way with each other.

And sometimes this lack of communication is the ultimate cause that triggers many mental ailments and issues such as loneliness, anxiety, depression, or isolation.

If you have trouble talking to people face to face, we recommend you to start as soon as possible. This is something that can help you get out of the slump, even though you might not realize this at the moment. Be patient and start slowly: exchange a few words here and there with the stranger in the street, or at the supermarket while you go out to do grocery shopping. All these things can help you hugely to increase your sense of purpose.

6. Help Others

Once you’ve made this kind of realization and you’re somewhat more certain about the things that are making you happy – only then it’s time to start figuring out other stuff. If you still have trouble finding your own true path in life, even though you’ve already done this self-reflection numerous times in your life, maybe your goal (or one of them) is to help others. Many people are deeply altruistic and can’t feel happy if they don’t make others happy.

Sharing is Caring – How Helping Others Can Raise Your Own Happiness Help You to Find a Sense of Purpose

Finding your sense of purpose is a trial and error game, but the most important thing to note is to never give up searching for it. You know those inspirational quotes that say that ’it’s not about the destination, it’s about the journey’? It may sound like a cliche, but it’s actually quite true. Find the cause that you care about enough and dedicate your free time to helping others, if it’s something that cheers you up and makes you happy.

Helping Others = Higher Self-Esteem

Problems like food access, malnourishment, homelessness, and affordable housing should not be as prominent as they are. With the help of just a few of your buddies, you can help the world to overcome these problems over the course of the next year.

When you do good for others, there are tons of benefits in it for you, too. Multiple studies have shown that by helping others you increase your own happiness! Giving back has a direct impact on your body, precisely, the mesolimbic system. When you help the part of the brain responsible for feelings of reward is triggered, raising your overall happiness!

Homeless and poverty are a major problem in nearly every area of the country, and men are in a fantastic position to do something about it. It won’t be easy—no pain, no gain, right?—but it will be possible, so long as you put some muscle into it. The needy of your area are out on the streets right now. Don’t you want to be the one to help them out? Here’s how to get started.

Volunteer at a Food Bank

Food banks provide essential nourishment for all kinds of people in need: the homeless, children living in poverty, people with disabilities, disaster survivors, etc. Anyone who relies on the kindness and hard work of strangers has likely eaten from the charitable hand of the local food bank.

Food banks (also called food shelters, food pantries, etc.) can usually use volunteer muscle. Because they try to aim their budgets as directly as possible at food and direct relief, they do their best to save money whenever and wherever they can. And one great way to save money is to rely on volunteer workers. Important but simple tasks like serving food, preparing meals, and setting up dining areas are thing easily done by guys like you and your friends.

Volunteer at a Homeless Shelter

Homeless shelters are some of the kindest, most humane institutions our society has to offer. Like food banks (with whom they frequently collaborate), homeless shelters provide meals to people who don’t have everyday necessities like a living wage or access to complete meals.

Homeless shelters are interesting places for guys to volunteer. You’ll get to work hard for a noble end, learn a thing or two about the homeless culture in your neck of the woods, and have some interesting things to talk about together afterwards. You’ll also meet some interesting men. Homeless men nearly always have interesting stories to tell, and their hard-won wisdom might make you reassess your approach to life.

Sadly, some of these interesting men will no doubt be veterans. Veteran homelessness is frightfully common. It might sound strange that soldiers have such a tough time adapting to civilian life, after all, they have been through, but lack of jobs, insufficient medical care, and the lasting effects of trauma on their physical and mental states can all work together to prevent veterans from leading happy, successful lives once they return home.

Donate Money

Lots of guys love to get and do good in person, to get dirt under their nails in order to lift the lifestyles of the people they care about, but that approach isn’t for everyone. It’s not even necessarily the best approach. Maybe you don’t have any free time to spare, or maybe the local food shelter or bank is too far from your home to make volunteering practical. Heck, maybe you’re just not a people person.

No sweat. One easy solution is just to give money to positive organisations. A simple Google search of non-profit poverty alleviation organisations in your city will give you lots of hits. Do some research about groups that do good work, and write one (or more!) of them a check. Non-profit companies almost always need some money, and any amount you can donate will make a direct impact on poverty in your community.

The Center for American Progress (CAP), for instance, would be happy to take in some extra dough. CAP pushes for poverty prevention strategy among lawmakers, activists, and the general public. They aim to increase social equality, raise awareness about sustainability, and push for educational and economic policies that prevent poverty before it begins, among other things. When you donate money to a group like CAP, you provide raw fuel and let the experts take control from there.

Work Professionally to Relieve Poverty

Volunteering is great, but if you really want to do some righteous damage to poverty, you could consider making relief work your job. If you’ve done some time volunteering with a local non-profit, you’ve probably already made some good contacts and shown them what you are capable of as a worker.

Poverty relief work is good work. And it takes people of kinds of skillsets. Love to drive and work on cars? You could become a delivery guy who dabbles with in-house maintenance. Have a passion for people? Become a fundraiser or human resources professional. Are you a whiz with technology? Become the IT guy or build up an attractive new website.

The pay in the poverty relief world isn’t always spectacular. It takes a certain kind of grit to get by as a non-profit worker. But you’ll be on of the ones down in the front lines in the battle against hunger, homelessness, and dire poverty.

Start a Poverty Relief Group at Work

Even if you’ve got an everyday office job, you can use your professional status to raise awareness and funds for the issue you’re passionate about. Your coworkers and you already have the rapport necessary for getting things done. Use that teamwork to run events that raise money for food banks and homeless shelters. It can be a good way to do good while getting to know your office mates better.

Raise Awareness on Social Media

Don’t feel like leaving your home? Find your purpose through helping good causes on social media. Sometimes something as simple as a little informal web promotion can make all the difference in the world. When you’re too busy to get and do things in real life, you can at least promote local services via Facebook or Twitter.

You might not be able to spare time or money, but maybe a few of your friends are in a position to help. If you give them the information, you’ll be making yourself a valuable tool in the fight against poverty.

Contact Politicians

Contact local politicians to get them to promote policies that encourage aid to the homeless. Make sure they don’t neglect veterans and people with disabilities. Politicians have the power to make a change, and they care about the opinions of their constituents. Your voice will only be heard if you use it. Let them know that you and your buddies find issues of poverty important.

Don’t Give Up!

Things don’t happen magically overnight. Keep things hopeful in 2017, and when things get frustrating, it’s time to double down, toughen up, and keep struggle against injustice and poverty. Let’s do this!

The Bottom Line

More and more people struggle to find a sense of purpose in life. Going aimlessly through life is something that many individuals would like to avoid, but breaking this spell and vicious cycle can
be hard at times. That’s why, in this article, we’ve given you some ideas that
you can utilize to increase this sense of purpose in life.

About the author Sofia Alves

Sofia Alves is a volunteer with local dog rescues and a freelance writer. She treats all animals as if they were her own. Sofia’s family includes her husband, a 3-year-old daughter and a sweet 7-year-old Hungarian vizsla, Lily. Outside of loving pets and spending time with her family, she’s probably bicycling somewhere in nature.